“That’s not long,” she said. She didn’t like that her father had trusted a stranger with Perdita’s well being. Although she knew he would never take a risk with a horse’s health, she couldn’t help but resent the decision.
“I’ve got a lot of experience,” he assured her. It was if he sensed her distrust. “My dad and I just moved here from Montana. Horses have been my life since I was old enough to be set on one’s back. It disappoints my dad. He always hoped I’d do something more impressive like being a lawyer or something. But hey, when you’ve got horse fever you’re doomed.”
Jane began to relax. Her childhood had been much the same. She could recognize the same passion for horses in Danny’s eyes that often filled her. It suddenly struck her as unlikely that he would be anything but vigilant when he was so new to her father’s barn. “Okay, well, thanks for looking out for Perdita.” It also suddenly struck her that she was having a conversation with a boy, something she’d rarely carried off successfully. She clutched her hands together and began to slowly back away. “It’s cold. I’m going to muck out the stalls. Stay active to stay warm, you know? See you around.” Jane quickly turned and headed the other end of the barn where she could work without having to talk.
“Your dad pays people to do that, doesn’t he?”
“There’s always something else to do,” she tossed over her shoulder, still moving.
“Well, what do you do when you aren’t doing someone else’s job?” he called out.
She paused and slowly turned around. Danny was smiling at her. It was starting to puzzle her. Did he always smile at people like that? “School things,” she said. She didn’t mention the house things her mother made her do. Cooking, cleaning, and attempting to sew. Jane wasn’t much good at any of those things and she preferred math homework to her mother’s harsh condemnations any day.
“You don’t have a boyfriend to do non-school things with?” he asked.
Jane flushed and crossed her arms so she could grasp her elbows, making herself smaller. “I’m not allowed to date. My mother’s rule,” she added, although she wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t as though it matter whose rule it was. She just felt like he should know it wasn’t something she’d chosen.
“Maybe one of these days we can find a loophole. Yeah?” He ran a hand through his thick hair, causing it to stand straight up. Danny looked so adorable in that moment she found herself agreeing.
“Yeah. Maybe.”
*
Jackie wished her life could be as simple as it was when she was a teenager. Sadly, figuring out how to date a boy without her mother finding out was no longer her biggest problem. Everything might have seemed complicated to her back then but she hadn’t even brushed the surface of what complicated really was. Complicated was explaining to the man who’d loved her most that for the last nineteen years she’d been living in Los Angeles, never bothering to call to let him know she wasn’t dead.
Their reunion was also not going to take place calmly in a Mexican restaurant. She hadn’t had a lot of hope that Danny would be able to sit at a table and discuss the fact that she’d run out on him without raising his voice. This situation called for more shouting than margaritas. Therefore the alley behind Taco Land that smelled faintly of wet cardboard and rotting meat was very appropriate.
“I should have called before today,” Jackie said after she had watched him pace for almost a minute. He had always been one for pacing. His thin, lively frame was made for movement. Danny spun around and the gleam in his eyes was just a little wild.
“You should have called before today? Jesus Christ, Jane, this isn’t about some call you might have made after running off! I haven’t seen you for nineteen years and you decide surprising me out on a public street was the right way to let me know you’re in town?” She hugged her body with her arms, trying not to look ashamed. When he put it that way it did sound a little absurd.
“I didn’t think it out.”
“No shit!” He ran a hand through his hair and, as it always had, it stuck up in every direction. “Who the hell is Jackie Chase?”
“That’s my name now,” she said. “I had it changed when I moved down here.”
“So your family wouldn’t find you?” he asked. Jackie nodded and he sighed, a little anger draining from him. “All right, I understand that. I don’t understand why you didn’t come to me when you decided to run. I would have gone with you.” The image of them running away together and how much safer she would have felt with someone to support her nearly made her cry. But she knew it never would have happened.
“I wasn’t the same person anymore, Danny. When I was in the hospital - ”
“Your father told me what was done to you,” he interrupted, a pained expression on his face. Some of that pain turned to irritation when he saw her shock. “It was my child, too, Jane. He thought I had a right to know.”
“You did,” she mumbled. She was starting to feel a little overwhelmed by all the events of the last few days. Her head was spinning. All the times her father had stopped by for lunch, he’d never bothered to mention that Danny knew what had happened to her. Just when she thought she knew where she stood with the men in her life they threw her for a loop. It seemed to be a pattern. “You did have a right. I’m sorry.”
Those quick, nervous fingers ruffled his hair again as he paced briefly. Then he stopped and stared straight into her. “I loved you. I would have done anything for you. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jackie swallowed hard. She hadn’t thought she’d ever get the chance to explain to Daniel how he deserved so much more than the scarred husk of a woman. Now she didn’t know how to say it. “I loved you,” she said at last, deciding that perhaps echoing him might be the best way. It helped that there was space between them. She could almost pretend she was alone or talking to a ghost of a memory. “I would have done anything for you, too. But I couldn’t make you a father. I didn’t even manage to protect our child. I was young and screwed up after what happened.”
“You weren’t the only one who was young,” he muttered but there was no anger in his voice anymore. He seemed tired now, as though there was only so much remembering he could do without exhausting himself. She didn’t blame him. Memories could take a lot out of a person and theirs were not the cheeriest.
“I know I wasn’t. I also know I should have told you. But I couldn’t do it.” Jackie considered putting her hand on his shoulder but she couldn’t take the idea of him shaking her off. It would be too much. “I was afraid,” she confessed as she looked away to stare at the dirty brick walls making up the alley. He stared at her, a thin line developing between his eyes as he frowned.
“Afraid? Why…? Oh, Jesus,” he whispered and closed his eyes. “You thought I would blame you for something you had no control over. Clearly you had a very high opinion of me.”
“It made sense at the time. If I blamed myself then why wouldn’t you?”
“Because your mother drugged you and your brother butchered you!” he shouted, spinning away from her to start angrily pacing again. For a moment she thought he might punch the black dumpster that occupied the alley with them but he let it go unscathed before he turned back to her. “My world may have revolved around you but I wasn’t so deluded as to believe you were capable of superhuman acts like being impossible to drug or cut. You were a victim.”
“As opposed to a vampire,” she threw out. Immediately she regretted it. If she had wanted to change the subject, she shouldn’t have jumped to that.
“What?” His face had gone perfectly blank. It reminded her of Liam enough to infuriate her. She closed the distance between them so she could stare directly into his eyes.
“I met up with your father at a function where a lot of the people were on a liquid diet. Imagine my surprise when I saw he hadn’t aged a day,” she told him, sarcasm acting as one of her only defenses. “Did you forget to tell me something when we were dating?”
“If you have been moving in the circles you say you have you know secrecy is the most important thing. Once we were married you would have known everything about my father. Or my great grandfather, if you want the truth. He came in to take care of me when my parents died in a car crash. I was only a few months old. I don’t remember any other father than him.” He tucked his hands under his armpits.
Jackie remembered that move. It meant he was feeling uncomfortable and defensive. She closed her eyes. It was almost unbearable to remember just how well she’d known this man. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have expected you to tell me. I wouldn’t have told me, either.” She felt a hand on her shoulder and her eyes snapped open. Danny was right in front of her. His long, delicate fingers were touching her. A shiver went down her spine, nearly making her body convulse. After all she’d shared with this man, the contact after so many years was a harsh shock to her system. There was history here. No one in the world had known her better when she was young. It was impossible to look at Danny now and see a stranger. Then how could she be sure she loved Liam when sometimes she didn’t even know who she was looking at when she was with him?
“I would not have blamed you,” he whispered.
The conversation had apparently gone back to the more important issue at hand. She shook her head. “It would have eaten me up, Danny. It tortured me enough from miles away but if I’d stayed with you I never would have managed to get over it.” Jackie laid her hand over the one he’d put on her shoulder. “I would have looked at you and wondered if our child would have had your hair. I would have thought of all the love you could give a son or daughter. I would have agonized over the fact that I couldn’t give you a family. And I never would have forgiven myself.”
There was something in his eyes that seemed akin to understanding. It worked to soothe her fears that he would never accept what she had done. “Have you forgiven yourself?” he asked.
“Some days it feels like I have,” she said. Jackie let his hand go as Danny stepped back to begin pacing once more. His speed had slowed considerably so she knew he was not as anxious as he had been. It didn’t look like he would start assaulting the cardboard boxes stacked alongside the dumpster either. At least that was something.
“I failed you, too.”
She blinked. That wasn’t what she had expected to hear.
“If I’d just done what you’d wanted and married you before you graduated we wouldn’t be where we are now,” he said.
Jackie opened her mouth to protest but there wasn’t much she could say. It was true. If they’d been married she would have been with him when she’d found out she was pregnant. They would have celebrated like normal couples do. They would have planned for their child and loved it and this very moment they would be paying college tuition. “You wanted better for us than a quick wedding in some anonymous chapel,” Jackie reminded him. “You were right to want to wait until I wasn’t a high school student anymore. It was responsible.”
“I should have wanted what you wanted.” He leaned against the wall, which was only marginally better than sitting on the filthy ground, and his expression was pained once again. Jackie realized as she looked at him that she was not the only one who had spent the majority of her life questioning what she might have done differently. Danny had done his fair share of regretting.
“I never once blamed you for what happened, okay? You need to know that. I ran because I didn’t want to know if you blamed me.”
He shook his head. “I never blamed you for that, either. I wanted to strangle your mother and I did break your brother’s nose but - ”
“You broke Alec’s nose?” she asked, stunned. He grinned and it was the very same grin he’d given her the first time they’d met. The face was just a little different.
“Smashed it into pulp,” he told her. Jackie felt the corners of her lips quirk upward and suddenly she was grinning, too. “You should have heard him scream. I’ve never heard a grown man’s voice go that high.”
All she had to do was visualize the look of disbelief on Alec’s face that anyone would ever dare punch him and she was doubled over laughing. It wasn’t an entirely sane laugh. She’d been over a few too many emotional hurdles the last week for her to merely giggle. Jackie needed a good, long and slightly unbalanced hysterical laugh. “Dear God,” she wheezed once she had enough breath to speak. From the look on Danny’s face, it was clear he’d needed a crazy laugh, too. Some of the shadows he’d had when he’d looked at her faded and he seemed genuinely pleased to see her standing across from him.
“I’ve wanted to share that with you for years. And not just that. There have been a million little things I’ve wanted to tell you.” Despite the fact that they were talking about what they’d lost, Danny wasn’t frowning. He seemed to be casually stating a fact that had ceased to bother him ages ago. Jackie smiled at the man who had never failed to make her happy even on this day when she was sure he’d leave her guilt-stricken and hurt.
“Well, I’ve got some time for lunch. We could always start with that. Speaking of starting, I think we got off on the wrong foot today.” Jackie cleared her throat and held out her hand. “Hi there. I’m Jackie Chase and I’d like to get to know you all over again.”
Danny took her hand, long fingers covering her own. “Hi there. I’m Daniel Wallace and I’d like to know you, too.” There was a tingle in her hand and for the briefest moment all the pain and uncertainty connected to Liam seemed to fade. And miles away, for the briefest moment, Liam could not feel her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
JACKIE’S LIFE TEETERED ON the edge of disaster. After what Sofie had told her, Izzy was absolutely certain of it. Of all the things that Jackie could have done to sabotage her relationship with Liam, reconnecting with her ex-fiancé hadn’t even made the list of possibilities in her head. She hadn’t gotten any news about Liam’s whereabouts from the other donors, although if she had to guess she’d say he was probably lying low at Jack’s place. Izzy hoped that the vampires sorted out whether or not he could stay in Los Angeles quickly. The Danny Wallace issue needed to be handled fast and the best way to point out how much better her relationship with Liam was in comparison to the young love from her past was to have Liam present. With him out of the game, the only thing keeping Jackie from making an enormous mistake was her dynamic team of best friends.
Sofie and Izzy watched from the kitchen as the man they knew was a threat to their friend’s happiness was shown around Free Spirit Ranch. Neither of them believed Danny and Jackie were soul mates who were destined to be together forever. If that sort of thing even existed, it would be between Liam and Jackie. Throwing away what Jackie had with her vampire lover was a mistake of epic proportions. Their eyes narrowed simultaneously when Jackie threw her head back and laughed at whatever irritatingly clever thing Danny must have said.
Izzy let out an angry huff of air. “He’s too skinny. No one with a soul is that skinny. Am I right?” Sofie nodded her agreement, picking up the sponge she’d abandoned in favor of spying. Ever since Jackie and Liam had started dating the two of them hung out more. That kitchen had been witness to a lot of gossiping between the two young women. Today was no different. “And he’s all polite and good-natured and crap. That’s got to be an act.”
“Absolutely,” Sofie agreed as she scrubbed food residue off the stove. “When Jackie introduced us and he acted as though meeting us was a real pleasure after all she’d told him about what good friends we were… Total bull. There’s no way an ex is ever nice.” This opinion might have been formed after Sofie’s ex tried to kill her but Izzy wasn’t about to mention it.
“Liam didn’t act like that when he met you, right?”
“Of course not! He was suspicious and aloof. It was reassuring,” she added. Vampires weren’t supposed to be too friendly. If he’d acted too interested in her she would have thought he was going to bite her. “Hey, could you hand me a paper
towel? I got this sponge a little too wet and now the water’s everywhere.”
“What was this guy’s excuse for lying to Jackie about his dad anyway? Why isn’t she more pissed about that?” Izzy demanded, ripping off a paper towel from the rack by the sink. Sofie frowned as she remembered what Jackie had said.
“Apparently his dad is really his great grandfather. He’d been keeping an eye on his living descendants and when Danny’s parents died he adopted him. Supposedly he was going to tell her everything once they were married but since it wasn’t his secret to tell he had to respect his father’s wishes.” She accepted the paper towel from Izzy who was frowning now, too. That was actually a really good excuse. She had been a donor and she knew just how important secrecy was to vampires. Sofie knew it, too. Even though her relationship with Max had gotten serious, she hadn’t mentioned much about Jackie’s boyfriend. It wouldn’t have been right to share a secret like that with someone who wasn’t permanently connected to them.
“Okay, so he had a good reason for that. But he’s still too squeaky clean for me. What’s with his ‘I’m a good person who’s courteous to others and pays my parking tickets’ attitude?” Izzy grumbled. A full minute of silent cleaning and brooding passed before the two women turned to look at each other.
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