Parker's Island

by Kimberly Schwartzmiller

  “I was there, Delaney. I remember. What happened after that? You weren’t there when Molly shook me awake. Where did you go? And how did you end up…with him?”

  “I…I didn’t go anywhere. I was taken.”

  “You were taken?” he asked, sounding skeptical.

  “Yes. I’m assuming I was taken. I was out cold…for most of it, anyway,” I said, looking down and shaking my head as Chad’s image flashed through my mind.

  “Who took you?”

  “I can’t tell you that.”

  “I thought you were here to tell the truth,” Brian said.

  “I am. I just can’t tell you who…”

  “Who what?” he asked, irritated now.

  My voice was quivering and my throat was very dry, but I continued, knowing he deserved the truth. “I um, I woke up alone…in a room at the Inn…on a bed.” The tears were silently running down my cheeks now.

  “You don’t have to go on, honey,” Christine said, figuring it out.

  “Yes, I do. He needs to know,” I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “I really only have one other memory of that night. Someone was standing over me, and he um…he…” I couldn’t stop the tears, no matter how hard I tried.

  “Oh God, Delaney, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know,” Brian said, wanting to comfort me, but torn with Molly sitting at his side.

  “I know. It’s not your fault. And I finally know now that it wasn’t my fault, either.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Molly asked, obviously feeling hurt and betrayed.

  “I couldn’t. I just wanted to forget. Logan begged me to tell him who it was and to go to the police, but I refused. I just couldn’t face it.”

  “What does Logan have to do with any of this?” Molly asked.

  “He was the one who found me running up the road. He lives on the island, Molly. He took care of me that night and…and I’ve been staying with him since that day you took me to the airport,” I said, feeling terrible for bringing it up in front of Brian.

  “He just happened to find you?” Molly asked, sounding skeptical.

  “He saw us get off the boat. He followed us along the beach during our walk, Brian. He said he parked at the hotel so that he could see me again. Then later, he saw me running down the road wearing your jacket. My dress was in pieces….you don’t know how grateful I was to have your jacket,” I rambled.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Brian whispered.

  “I couldn’t face it. I thought I could just forget. For months I pretended nothing had happened. Once we were together for a while, I realized that I loved you and I thought that was all I needed; that the two of us could have the fairy tale ending. I really didn’t know I was pregnant. I hid it from everyone, including myself.”

  “I wondered how you couldn’t know. It makes sense now. I’m so sorry, honey! I wish you’d said something,” Christine said, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

  “I couldn’t. I just kept pretending it didn’t happen, but the day that you confronted us, I knew you were right. It all made sense. I’d been lying to everyone for so long. I didn’t know how to tell you the truth then, not without it all sounding like another lie.”

  “I would have believed you, Delaney. I loved you.” I saw Molly cringe at Brian’s words, but I knew we both needed to set some things straight.

  “Brian, what I told you was true. I didn’t sleep with Logan that night, I swear it. This isn’t his baby. I need you to believe that. I need you to believe that I loved you, that I still love you.”

  “Delaney, I…”

  “I know. It’s okay. I’m so happy for you two. It could never be the same between us now, anyway. I just needed you to know. I was never unfaithful to you, I swear it.” I thought about what I said for a minute and then added, “I know you always thought that Logan was in the back of my mind, and maybe he was. But what you and I had was real. Please believe that.”

  I turned to Christine, “I’m so sorry I lied to you and that I hurt Brian. I never wanted to hurt anyone.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, honey.” she said, tears streaming down her face as well.

  I turned to my best friend and said, “Molly, do you hate me?” I needed her to forgive me.

  “No. I just wish you had told me,” she said, looking hurt and angry.

  “Who…was it?” Brian asked.

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

  “I need to know. Please Delaney, I need to know.”

  “Why? Are you going to go and beat him up?” I asked, grinning at him.

  “Tell me who it was,” he said, with a rage in his eyes that I’d never seen before.

  “He’s already been punished.”

  “Not by me!”

  “I just want to forget…him, please.”

  We all sat there quietly for a few minutes, everyone lost in their own thoughts. “Well, I guess I should go home now.” I stood up, and said, “Thank you for listening to me. I’m very sorry that I lied to you all. Please believe that I never meant to hurt anyone.”

  “Delaney, what are you going to do?” Brian asked.

  “I’m going to have a baby. That’s all I can focus on right now.”

  “And Logan, how does he fit in?” Brian asked.

  “He took me in and took care of me. He’s a wonderful man, just like you,” I smiled at him.

  “Why aren’t you with him?” Molly asked.

  “He’s not mine.”

  “You said that before, I don’t understand…” Molly said.

  I took a deep breath and said, “He’s married.”

  “What do you mean, he’s married? How can he be married?” Molly asked.

  “It’s a long story, but I assure you, it’s true.” I turned to leave.

  I heard Molly whisper something to Brian, and he said, “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  Brian walked me to the door and said, “I’ll give you a ride home.”

  “No, it’s okay. I need the exercise,” I said, patting my swollen belly.

  I turned back and smiled at Christine, thanking her with my eyes. I saw Molly and I knew I had lost her. I turned back around and just as I was about to walk out the door, I heard her say, “Still Best Buddies Forever?” She was openly crying now, something I hadn’t seen her do since she was five years old.

  I ran to her and hugged her hard. “I thought you hated me! Please understand why I couldn’t tell you.”

  “It’s okay. I should have known something was terribly wrong,” she said, hugging me back.

  “Are you happy?” I asked her.

  “Yes. I love Brian. That’s okay, isn’t it? We didn’t plan this….we only started talking because of you.”

  “It’s great, Molly! I couldn’t be happier for the two of you. I never really liked Jason,” I smiled.

  “You were right about him.”

  “Maybe, but you have a wonderful man now.”

  “You’re staying now, right?” she asked.

  “I’m going to stay with my Aunt Vickie for a while. Logan’s going to come and try to talk me into going back with him, and I can’t be here, or I’ll cave.”

  “I don’t understand. How could he be married, and why is he coming after you if he doesn’t love you?”

  “He does love me, but it doesn’t change the facts.”

  “I’m trying to understand, but you’ve lost me.”

  “We both have a few issues to work out. Maybe in time we’ll be able to be together. But right now, we have to work things out on our own.”

  “Will I see you soon?”

  “You can call me anytime. But, I’m asking you to promise me that you won’t tell him where I am. Swear it!”

  “Okay, okay.”

  “Thank you. I have to go. I’m getting on a bus in a few hours. I love you, Molly.”

  We hugged once more and I walked out the door with Brian following clo
se behind.

  “I’m fine to walk, Brian. Go back to Molly,” I said.

  “Not a chance,” he said, opening his passenger car door for me.

  “Always the gentleman,” I said, and stepped into the car.

  We drove in silence for a while, and then finally he pulled over a block from my house.

  “What are you doing, Brian?” I asked.

  “I need to know who it was, Delaney. Please tell me who it was.”

  “Brian, I can’t tell you.”

  “Dammit Delaney, stop being so brave, and tell me who hurt you!”

  I stared straight ahead, unable to say his name, “Brian, I can’t say it…please don’t make me.”

  “I need to know.”

  “Why? What are you going to do? And will that make everything alright?”

  “Was he what you saw the night that we were…together?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “I need to know who it was, Delaney. I don’t think I can live with all this anger.”

  “You have to let it go. He can’t hurt me anymore.” I turned to him and saw the pain in his eyes, pain that I was once again responsible for. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does to me.”

  “What are you going to do if I tell you?”

  “I’m going to beat the hell out of him!”

  “Well, that was an honest answer. But I won’t let you do that. I can’t let you do that.”

  “Why are you protecting him?”

  “That’s what Logan said. But I wouldn’t tell him and I’m not going to tell you.”

  “Logan doesn’t know?”

  “Yes, he does know. But I didn’t actually tell him. It kind of slipped out in a moment of panic and he guessed. He took care of it, Brian! He punished him, somehow. I know some of what he did, but I know there was more and I didn’t want to think of him that way, so I asked him not to tell me. And I don’t want to think of you that way, either. Just go home and be happy with Molly. You deserve it! You do love her, right?”

  “I love her. But I won’t lie, she’s not you. I finally understand exactly how you felt about me and Logan. Whatever happened between you two, you need to fix it. Don’t let him go.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “You said that before, yet you went to him when you needed someone the most and I wasn’t there for you. He took you in, then. I’m certain you can work it out, now.”

  “You were always there for me, Brian. Molly is so lucky to have you!” I said, kissing his cheek.

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  “Yes…eventually.”

  He started driving again and soon we were in front of my house. “Thank you for the ride,” I said, and started to get out.

  He reached over me and closed the door. “Delaney, I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For not protecting you that night.”

  “You were drugged, Brian. We both were. It wasn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself.”

  “I have to know,” he said again, clenching the steering wheel until his knuckles were white and bloodless.

  “Please, just forget it.”

  “Do you still see him, like that night?”

  “I used to, but not anymore.”

  “So that makes it alright, then? You don’t have flashbacks of him anymore, so suddenly what he did is okay?”

  “NO! It’s not okay. I hate him! I saw him every night in my sleep…and I woke up screaming every night until…” I said, knowing that was the first time I had actually said anything bad about my attacker.

  “Until what?”

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

  “Then tell me who it was!”

  “NO!” I yelled.

  “Tell me, Delaney. I have to know.”

  He wasn’t going to stop until I told him, I knew that, but the name just wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I had held in the anger for so long, that even then, when I was finally furious, I couldn’t say it out loud.

  “You can’t even say it, can you? You can’t even say his name. How is it ever going to be over until you can tell someone who it was?”

  “It is over,” I said, crying, and started to step out of the car.

  He stopped me from getting out of the car again. Then he pulled me to him and held me. I was sobbing, and he cradled me against his chest.

  “I’m sorry, Delaney. But don’t you see; if you don’t tell someone, then he wins.”

  “I…can’t. I told Logan.”

  “No you didn’t, you said he guessed. You have to tell someone. You have to face it before you can put it behind you. You have to say his name.”

  “No.”

  “Who was it?”

  “I won’t tell you.”

  “Who was it? Whose face did you see the night we started to make love?”

  I was tired of fighting and I was tired of trying to forget.

  “Who was it?” he asked me again, softly, pulling my face up to look him in the eye.

  “Chad,” I whispered.

  He didn’t say anything, he just held me while I cried. After a while he asked me if I was okay.

  “I think so.”

  “I know that was hard, but you needed to say it. You know that, right?”

  “Yes. But just because I told you who it was doesn’t mean I want you to do anything about it. Please don’t. Promise me. If you do, and something happens to you, then I couldn’t live with it.”

  “I knew who it was, Delaney. I knew the second you told me you were…raped,” he said, his anger even more apparent now.

  “You knew? Then why would you make me…?”

  “I told you why. You needed to say it. And, I needed to be sure.”

  I knew he was right. He was always right. “What do you mean you needed to be sure?”

  He ignored my question. “I know that things are different between us now, but I do still love you, Delaney. If you ever need anything, I’m here for you.”

  “Thank you.” I sat up, dried my eyes and stepped out of his car. True to his gentlemanly nature, he walked me to the door, one last time.

  “Take care of yourself,” he said, and started to head to his car.

  “Brian, wait. How did you know who it was?” I asked, needing to know.

  “I remember the night Molly told us about what happened to Chad. I remember your face went pale white and you were shaking. I always knew he had a thing for you. I had heard about some conquest he had bragged about that night, but I never thought he meant you. I should have guessed then, but I didn’t see it. I’m sorry.”

  “Please stop apologizing! Don’t you see; you were there for me when I needed you? You loved me, and that’s what I needed more than anything.”

  “It doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t protect you that night,” he said, and then added, “Were the transcript and steroids Logan’s handiwork?” he asked, guessing right again.

  “Yes. There was more, but I didn’t want to know, so I wouldn’t let him tell me.”

  “That’s pretty good. Logan’s a smart guy. Hit him where it hurts. I would have just beat the hell out of him.”

  “Brian, PLEASE don’t go after…Chad. Please. Promise me! I couldn’t bear to see you get hurt.”

  “I won’t!” he said, and then headed back to his car without another word.

  I walked in the house, thinking about his answer, and realized what Brian said could have been taken two entirely different ways. I felt a chill run down my back as I thought of him going after my attacker. “Certainly he meant that he wouldn’t go after Chad, not that he wouldn’t get hurt?” I asked myself.

  Suddenly I knew the answer to my own question. He was going to go after him, and I knew I had to stop him. No one was home at my house. I didn’t drive and I certainly couldn’t call Molly this time. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the spare set of keys to my Mom’s car off the hook and ran outside. I got in the car and started i
t. “So far so good,” I thought and then put it in to reverse. The car shook and jerked as I tried to back it out of the driveway, but I was finally able to do it. I was able to get it into drive and go forward and then it hit me…I had no idea where Chad lived. I did know where Hailey lived though, and it was very close, so I headed to her house.

  I pulled up to Hailey’s house, barely missing their mailbox. I left the car running and ran to the door.

  Hailey answered the door and I quickly asked her where Chad lived.

  “Why do you want to know?” Hailey asked, looking at me funny.

  “Because Brian Walters is on the way to his house to beat him up and I need to stop him.”

  “Why would Brian want to beat him up?”

  “Please Hailey, I don’t have time to explain. Just tell me where he lives.”

  “I’ll take you there.”

  “No. Just tell me,” I pleaded, not wanting to get her involved in my mess.

  “If you want to know, then take me with you. I wouldn’t mind seeing that son of a bitch get beat up!”

  “Fine,” I said, knowing it was the only way I would be able to stop Brian.

  “Have you ever driven before?” she asked, holding on for dear life.

  “No,” I said, trying to concentrate on the road.

  “Pull over then and let me drive. You’re scaring the hell out of me. I certainly don’t want to die and miss the fun.”

  “Wow, he must have really hurt you, too!” I said, feeling sorry for Hailey.

  “Hurt me, too?” she asked, looking at me strangely.

  “You can drive,” I said and stopped almost at the side of the road.

  We traded places and then she asked, “What do you mean, ‘hurt me too’?”

  “Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

  She looked over at me, then scanned her eyes down my body and rested them on my belly. She took a deep breath and I realized she knew. “You’re the one…the one at the Grad party. I didn’t want to believe it. I tried to ignore his friends. I didn’t want to believe that Chad would…”

  “I’m sorry, Hailey.”

  “Why? It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I’m still sorry. You don’t deserve this. Neither of us do.”

  “Well, let’s go stop Brian before he kills Chad…but not too soon,” she said, with obvious anger.

  She pulled up to Chad’s house and we both got out of the car. We headed to the door and then I heard a loud crash coming from the back of the house. “Sounds like Brian’s here, alright,” Hailey said.