Washed and slightly more human, he knocked on the doors in the passage. Derkins’s cabin was almost subterranean, every chink of light blocked. He was in a foetal crouch on the bed, a flannel clamped to his forehead. “Make it quick,” he moaned.
“You’ll live, you soft git. Coming?”
“No way. This is meant to be a holiday.”
The other door was ajar, the blinds scrolled and the bed made. It was heartbreakingly neat.
“Josh?”
Alfred retraced their movements last night. They’d deposited a paralytic Derkins outside his cabin. Josh was only marginally more sober, walking into his wardrobe and counting the shoes. He mustn’t assume the worst. Josh was sensible, he wouldn’t go wandering outside or, gods forbid, into somebody’s cabin.
The hub was deserted. Balloons wilted, empties rolled down the corridors, discarded shoes lay outside doors. Alfred stuck his head into the ballroom - more of the same, the odd waiter slumped in an alcove. He pushed the glass doors open and climbed onto the deck, shaking his head at the blast of cold air.
Good old hubs. Alright, they were noisy and slow, but at least you travelled in comfort. He hated those ghastly airbuses with passengers packed together or blitzen shrieking like witches. You couldn’t get a decent coffee on board for love or money. How horrified the Adventurers would be.
“Cheers, chaps,” he mumbled, taking a nip from his hip flask.
He was still drunk, wasn’t he? Perhaps it was for the best. Yes, Derkins was here to make sure he didn’t disgrace himself, but when they disembarked he and Josh would be left to their own devices. It was the first time they’d been truly alone. What if Josh got bored? What if he got lost?
Something on the observation tower caught his eye. A lacy scarf drifting on the wind. It resolved into a long grey coat, golden hair. He clattered up the steps.
“CER’ll be overjoyed if I have to mail bits of you back,” he roared.
“It’s something, isn’t it?” Josh called back.
“You weren’t about to chuck yourself over, were you?”
The artificial stared at his shoes as though they had nothing to do with him. “Didn’t notice. I love heights.”
“It’d be safer if you go back over.”
Josh slipped between the bars and sat beside him. “No need to worry.”
“You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“As if I’d do that to you.”
As his arm rested against Josh’s on the bar, Alfred’s eyes were drawn to his profile. It should be a crime looking like that. The pale curls stopping short of his collar, the creamy skin, the massive eyes. Looking at him made you intoxicated. Alfred had always been repelled by older men slavering over pretty boys. He’d never dreamt one day he would be one.
“It’s funny, being somewhere CER can’t check up on me.” Josh kicked off his shoes and dangled his feet over the edge. “I could be doing anything.”
“Do they usually?”
“They can see my interface. I always feel like someone’s going to jump out and yell, ‘Gotcha!’”
“Is that why you don’t talk about them?”
“I’m trying to ward them off.”
Alfred pulled out his cigarette case. “Mind if I smoke?”
“Why would I?”
“People do. They go through this daft coughing routine.”
“How very stupid.”
When the matches wouldn’t light Josh cupped his hand around it. There was something companionable about sitting up in the clouds with their heads together, the sea slipping away beneath them.
“How’s Derkins?” Josh asked.
“Dug himself in.”
“I thought I was a lightweight.”
Now was the chance to hear what Josh really thought about the doctors.“Tell me about your team.”
“There’s Dr Ozols. She coaches me in human behaviour; she says she’s done a better job on me than her boyfriends. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve seen.”
Alfred bit back a twinge of jealousy. “I’d remember a science muse. Who else?”
“Dr Sugar you know. He’s alright, though he goes on a bit. I know you don’t like Dr Malik and I can’t blame you. She doesn’t like people.”
“Maybe that’s why she went into robotics.”
“Pip says it’s the last stop for the weirdest people in the world.” He remembered who he was talking to. “Sorry.”
“Gussy never minded being called weird. She saw it as a compliment.”
“Who wants to be normal? Normal’s boring.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Alfred toasted Josh with the hipflask. “Want some?”
“Isn’t it a bit early?”
“A bit late, you mean. No one’s watching.”
Josh put it to his lips. “It’s got a kick to it.”
“Good, isn’t it? Puts hairs on your chest.”
The artificial looked revolted. “Why would I do that?”
“People like them?”
“I never want any.”
Alfred tried not to think of his own chest, as hairy as the rest of him. “What about Dr Fisk?”
The response was immediate.“I don’t like her.”
“How’s that work? She’s your handler.”
“Have you ever met someone and thought, ‘I don’t like you’? It floats around whenever you see them.”
“Must be awkward.”
“If I could’ve picked anyone at the Centre, why her? Pip, Mandy - even one of the other doctors.”
“Why would she make it up?”
“Who knows? Anyone would’ve been better. Except Adrian, perhaps.”
“Who’s Adrian?”
“The CEO. He struts around and tells everyone to look busy but doesn’t do anything himself. Looks like a ferret in a suit.”
“White hair, pink eyes?”
“Nobody likes him. There were four Pinder brothers but the others died, all with golf clubs in their heads.”
“Isn’t that unlikely?”
“Maybe it’s one of your coincidences.”
Josh’s expression had darkened since Fisk was mentioned. Time to change the subject. “We’re crossing the Joop. You can borrow my binoculars.”
“We can see it from here? It must be how high?”
“Twenty thousand feet. But yes, you can.”
Alfred showed Josh how to bring objects into focus, to swing round and away. “There’s Mount Akka. It hasn’t blown in twenty years. I saw the island last time it did. Petrified trees, animals and people - nowhere to run.”
“How awful.”
“There’s the Flying Bridge, one of the wonders of the world -”
“Look! What are they?”
“A school of porpoises.”
“Oh,” Josh said, “if someone told me two months ago I’d be whizzing through the air doing this, I’d never have believed them. It’s not a dream, is it?”
“I’m dreaming too if it is.”
“Please don’t wake me up.”
They shared a smile. Josh nudged him. “Can I have another swig?”
“Go ahead.”
He took genteel sips at first, then bolted it down.
“Steady on! I don’t have a bottomless supply.”
“What’s that?” Josh pointed shakily at the binoculars.
“That cloudbank’s in the way -”
“Maybe I’m seeing things, but it’s getting closer.”
“You’re tizzicky - Shit, it is. Get down!”
The observation deck swayed. At the same time something struck the side of the hub, making it veer off course. They heard screams and breaking glass. Six figures swarmed the deck.
“What is it?” Josh whispered.
“I don’t know.”
“What shall we do? Stay here?”
“Michael’s in there.”
“I didn’t know he meant that much to you.”
“All my friends mean that much to me.” Alfred brought
out his gun. “Do exactly as I say.”
“Or what?”
“We’re dead.”
“Sounds like an incentive.”
They went back in through an escape Alfred had noticed earlier, Josh clutching his arm. He felt more alive than he had in years.
“Are you sure we’re going the right way?”Josh hissed.
“No.”
“Why are you smiling?”
“It’s very hard to explain.”
To anybody who opened their door, they said, “Everything’s under control. Stay in your cabin.” One woman gave Josh her spare key card. Alfred shut the door in her face.
“She was only being friendly.”
“She’s old enough to be your mother.” As Josh raised his eyebrows, “Someone’s mother, anyway.”
“Isn’t this our floor?”
“Yes. Let’s check on Michael while we’re at it.”
Derkins lay face down on the bed, foot up like a periscope. Josh prodded him and he gave an almighty snore.
“He’s well away.”
“The less he knows, the better,” Alfred said grimly.
“Where do you think those guys are?”
“If they’re not in the ballroom, we can chase them around.”
They passed down the rows of cabins and came out into the service corridor. “Get in,” Alfred said. It was a lift shaped like a lantern, its sides distempered glass. They could see out but no one could see in.
“Will we fit?”
“It’ll be cramped, but yes.”
Cramped wasn’t the word. Josh’s head was crammed under Alfred’s arm and the artificial’s legs were around his ears. It would have been exciting if the moment wasn’t so tense. Alfred typed in a few numbers and the lift began to move: not up or down like conventional lifts but in a sidelong slant.
“Won’t they hear?”
“Nobody notices service lifts.”
“We can’t hear them.”
Alfred punched out a panel. “We can now.”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“You know me so well.”
Soon the lift dangled above the ballroom. The stragglers from earlier were assembled, hands above their heads. More black clad men had arrived - there were fourteen altogether. They all wore visors and belts decked with murderous instruments. Thirteen were tall and imposing, the fourteenth shorter and thicker set. He was clearly the leader. He prowled the room and stared into the faces of the passengers. Some he dismissed outright. Others he pushed towards his colleagues. They were taken outside.
“It’s the women,” Josh said. “They’re taking the pretty women away.”
Alfred felt sick. “Where are they going?”
“The gym, I think.”
Skyhub gyms were always a deciding factor on cruises; this one was no different. It was modern and shiny, each wall flanked with exermobiles, running belts and stepfloors. Normally they would be droning, zipping and buzzing. The only activity was amongst a ring of chairs, where twenty women were seated. Six of the men were patrolling, stopping and scrutinising each one.
“What are they doing?”
“Looks like they’re styling their hair.”
“Get away with you!”
The men stood over their targets, sifting through their hair. It resembled nothing so much as nit checks at school.
“Hairdressing skyjackers?”
“Maybe they need the practice.”
They couldn’t stop giggling, not the best idea in a confined space. After the last woman had been examined, the tallest man shook his head. The captives filed outside.
“It can’t be here. Must’ve got the wrong hub.”
“Himself swore it was the right one -”
“Himself’s past it!”
The speaker found himself surrounded by a forest of guns. “Okay, okay,” he said, holding up his hands. The guns were lowered.
“What do we do?”
“This can’t be everyone, it’s huge. We’ll have to knock on doors.”
“More trouble than it’s worth -”
“We find it, we’re made. No more shit.”
A sigh rippled the group. “That’ll totally be worth it.”
It looked as though they were punching each other; in fact they were bumping knuckles in the shape of a star. Alfred’s eyes widened. “We need to bring the lift down - quietly -”
Josh keyed it in. As the last of the men stepped into the corridor, the lift was level with the ground. The leader waited, his arms folded.
“Well?”
“Nothing, chief.”
“Do I only recruit imbeciles? The quality will still be in bed. Get on with it!”
He spat a gob of tobacco onto the floor, hitching up his belt. He was only five feet away. As he moved there was a sultry aroma of hair oil, spiced tobacco and musk. Alfred’s memory stirred. He didn’t speak until the men had disappeared, the leader kicking the walls.
“I’m going to negotiate.”
“What? They’ve got guns -”
“Let’s get out of here. I’ve a crick in my neck.” They clambered out, stretching and rubbing their stiff places.
“I don’t want you to do this,” Josh said.
“I’ve been in this sort of situation before. I can handle it.”
“CER’ll love it if you get killed on the first day!”
“No one’s going to be killed -”
“That’s not what you said before.”
“This could be the one chance we have to find out what they want.”
“Why you?”
“Why not me?”
“Your ego’s gone to your brain! You want to be young again. You want to be the hero.”
That hurt. To be fair, Josh seemed horrified he’d said it.
“I didn’t mean it,” he whispered. “I want you to be safe. Is that so wrong?”
“Go to our suite and stay there. Trust me.”
Josh gripped his hand. “Come back in one piece.”
Now Alfred was walking into a hostage situation. He’d done it before, but not with people he loved on the line. What if he was wrong?
The hijackers were remarkably slack. Nobody stopped him. The only guards were stationed outside the control room. One was brawny and black, the other pocket sized with long hair and liquid eyes. “Who the hell are you?” the tall one demanded.
“Ask your leader.”
They conferred. “Whatever,” the short one shrugged. “He’s in a foul mood. Be gentle.”
Smutty sniggers. Alfred stole into the control room, struck again by that familiar scent. He tousled his hair, rolled up his sleeves, tightened his belt a notch. After a second’s thought he undid a few buttons.
The leader lounged in the central chair, feet on the panels. He was burly and stubble faced, his oily hair flecked with grey. Snake tattoos wound up his arms.
“I had a theory once,” Alfred said, “that if somebody dropped me in the middle of the Pole, I’d bump into one of my exes.”
The leader spun in his seat. “Fredo?”
“Hello, Ramon.”
“What are you doing here?”
“On holiday. What about you and your hairdressers?”
“That’s not very nice.”
“Are they the Brethren?”
“My fame precedes me! Didn’t a Farvan king once say soldiers fight better if their lovers follow them into battle? And,” a crooked smile, “it has benefits.”
“I’d rather not speculate. Something I am interested in: why is the president of Arthro attacking sky hubs?”
“I got deposed.”
“Again? This must be the third time!”
“Fourth. I have to raise funds somehow.”
“I thought you married that de Wesseldorf woman.”
“She divorced me. It was only a political alliance. As far as Arthrans are concerned, men -”
“Don’t have fun with other men?”
“Uh-huh.�
��
Alfred sat opposite him. Ramon’s shirt was open to the waist, displaying an indecent lawn of hair. “Could you cover yourself up?”
“Why, is it too tantalising?”
“It’s a bit much on an empty stomach.”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to go home. There’s no cargo, just pleasure cruisers. I’m taking it because it’s the only way my PA agrees to fly.”
“Rumour has it we’re sat on a goldmine - if we find the bloody thing.” He snapped his fingers and the woofy guard came in. “Milo, you bum. Any luck?”
“Not one.”
“Probably not looking hard enough.”
“Not true, chief. Everyone knows their offswitch is in their hair.”
Alfred’s fists clenched. “Off switch?”
Ramon grinned. “Apparently there’s an artie on board. Pure platinum. Where else can you lay hands on that in a hurry?”
Alfred turned away. He couldn’t hide his emotions. Josh broken up piece by piece, bundled in the hold –
Milo stumped outside. Ramon stretched his legs. “What’s eating you?”
“You do realise artificials are national property? You’ll go to jail.”
“Give it two years, they’ll let me out for good behaviour.”
“How do you know there’s one here?”
“It was on the list of assets. Didn’t give its name, but they’re not thicky bobs. Maybe they thought the passengers would be weirded out. Seen one?”
“You know I have.”
“I forgot you’ve friends in high places.” He started to cough. “I’m not budging till I get my prize. And, if I know you, you’re going to sit and glare till I go.”
“You’re making a wicked mistake, Ramon.”
“Conscience is for rookies.” He held out his cigar case. “Want one?”
“Your papers are vile. Like chewing nappies.”
“You never used to be this self righteous. What happened?”
“I grew up. You should try it.”
“Ain’t gonna happen. Fancy watching veebox? I love my coverage.”
Love and Robotics Page 17
