“Dude,” Olivia said, staring at me. “Have you had a shitty week or something?”
Oh, just avoiding our best friend so I didn’t do something stupid, like try to convince her to fuck me again.
“Or something.”
She frowned as I took another long drag off the bottle.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Nope,” I grunted.
She scowled. “Look here fucker, don’t try that intimidating bullshit with me. I shared a womb with you.”
Nate’s gaze bounced back and forth between us, probably wondering if we were going to resort to pulling each other’s hair like we used to as kids. It wouldn’t be the first time he had to separate us, but it would be the world’s stupidest reason.
“I just don’t want to talk. Leave it alone, Olivia.”
Cora walked up beside Olivia and put her arm on her shoulder. I couldn’t stand to look at her tits in that low cut top or her ass in those pants so tight they might as well have been painted on.
Fuck. These were not appropriate thoughts to be having about my sister’s best friend. My best friend.
“I thought you were going to dance,” Olivia said to her.
“It’s too crowded. And hot. If I stay out there, I’m going to start losing clothes because of all the tequila.”
Olivia laughed. “At least you’re learning your limitations.”
“I’m going to bed,” I announced.
“Finn, it’s early,” Liv whined.
“Not in the mood for a party tonight.”
“Awe, don’t be a party pooper Finnius,” Cora chimed in. I glared at her.
“Seriously, can’t you two leave me the fuck alone today?”
I grabbed the bottle of whiskey on the counter and spared one last glance back as I walked away. Nate and Olivia looked concerned, but Cora, fucking gorgeous Cora, looked pissed. It was a mistake, avoiding her after everything that happened, but I was having a hard time dealing with the shit going on in my head. Thoughts that I didn’t have any right having about her. Each passing day made it harder to fight them back. And now each second I looked at Cora, it was getting harder to forget what I had remembered about that night.
Was that really only a week ago?
Climbing the stairs proved to be challenging. I made it to my room and barely let the door slam behind me before stripping down to my boxers. My vision doubled and I hit my foot on my dresser as I stumbled towards my bed. I cursed when I slammed my knee into the nightstand. At this rate I would be black and blue by tomorrow. I settled into the pillows, thankful that I hadn’t hurt myself again. It would serve me right after how I’d acted.
After spending all week convincing myself we would be okay and that sleeping together hadn’t fucked up our friendship, I acted like a huge dick when I saw her flirting with some asshole. There was also the fact that I had to talk myself out of going to her daily because I wanted to see if I could talk her into doing it again. I just plain missed her. Why did it bother me so much that she let half the fucking house touch her while she was shaking her ass? This wasn’t anything new. Cora got handsy when she drank. I knew that. So why did I want to rip apart everyone that looked in her direction?
I shook my head to clear it. Jealousy tasted bitter. It killed me that I was jealous of every bastard she let touch her. My stomach rolled as I imagined her being with anyone else, especially that asshole Chance. Cora deserved better than him. She also deserved better than me. Maybe I should go find some girl to fuck to make myself forget about her.
I took another large gulp from the whiskey bottle and leaned back against my headboard. It wasn’t okay for me to feel this way about Cora. She obviously didn’t feel the same way if she was able to act like that with other guys right in front of me. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach, telling me I might have lost her friendship forever. The more I thought about her creamy skin, or perfect breasts, the more I drank. I wasn’t going to resort to touching my cock thinking about her. The bottle slipped out of my fingers as I finally fell asleep to thoughts of her amazing mouth on me.
This had been the worst week possible. Monday started out bad when torrential floods started on my way to class. I looked like a drowned rat by the time I got in the building, and then I was soggy and freezing cold for the rest of the day. Tuesday, I lost my debit card and dorm keycard. I had to wait three hours for Hannah to get out of class because I had also locked my cell phone inside our room. No RAs were around to let me in, so I pouted as I waited outside and pretended to study. Wednesday, I got a parking ticket and a notification that my Dad hadn’t paid for my parking pass this semester. Way to go dad of the year. I’d only reminded him three times already. It irritated me that he insisted on paying for it himself when I could easily do it. Thursday my alarm didn’t go off. I had a quiz in my first class of the day and ended up missing it. With any luck, I would be able to talk my professor into letting me retake it, but I didn’t hold out much hope. All of this coupled with the fact that it was the one year anniversary of my Grandmother passing away had made for an incredibly horrible week. Top all that with a best friend that couldn’t be bothered to pick up a phone to call or text and we had a really shitty week.
That brings us to today, Friday. I had made it through the morning without incident and things actually seemed to be looking up. Olivia had texted me about meeting up for lunch today in the Union. We were going to eat then head out for some shopping. I grabbed my tray and started towards our group of friends when I stopped dead in my tracks. There was a girl sitting on Finn’s lap that I didn’t recognize and he didn’t seem like he was in any hurry to push her off. I wasn’t in the mood to watch him flirt with another girl. I was too raw this week. Every nerve I had was exposed and I couldn’t fake it today.
Nate saw me standing there and called me over to join them. I gritted my teeth and walked the last few feet to the table. Finn’s surprised eyes met mine and I looked away from him quickly. He deposited the girl on the seat next to him and scooted towards where I was standing next to Nate.
“Hey Princess.”
I ignored him and turned towards Nate. “Is Liv here yet? I actually got a break this week and my TA is going to let me retake my quiz, but it has to be this afternoon. I need to go now, but I wanted to tell her first.”
The lie fell off my tongue easily and I hated myself for it.
“You’ve had the shittiest week ever. You deserve something good after everything you’ve been dealt. Go, she’ll understand. If you want to go shopping afterwards, call her,” Nate said, shooing me away. He had been there as I’d bitched to Olivia about everything going wrong in my life.
Finn frowned. “Why have you had a bad week?”
I put my tray down on the table harder than I intended, making a loud banging noise and catching everyone’s attention as I said, “Well, Finn, if you had been around at all this week instead of whoring it up with another one of your cheap tramps, then maybe you would know. Thanks for being there for me, buddy.”
I whipped around and practically ran away from the table. I couldn’t take all those eyes staring at me. This was all just too much for me after this awful week. Tears pricked at my eyes and I just wanted to get away from here as fast as possible. Fingers wrapped around my arm, causing panic and fear to fill me. My chest felt tight and my breaths came quicker. I wanted to throw up. I yanked my body away, trying not to fall to the ground from the force.
“It’s just me,” Finn said, as he pulled me tight against his chest. “It’s just me, Princess. I won’t hurt you.” He tried to say the soothing words quickly, but my breaths were short and quick and to my utter embarrassment, hot tears streamed down my face. “Breathe, baby. You’re safe. I’m so sorry. I never should have grabbed you like that.”
The acidic taste of bile rose in my throat. I swallowed several times trying to keep it down. I thought I was past all this. This week was conspiring against me, wanting me to relieve every bad moment of
my life. What the hell had I done to get all this bad karma put on me?
“Finn, I’m fine, just let me go. Please.” He reluctantly let me pull away. I took a deep breath. “I can’t do this right now. If you really want to know about my week, go talk to Olivia; she can tell you all about it.”
“I don’t want to talk to Olivia; I want to talk to you.”
“If you actually wanted to talk, then maybe you should have picked up your fucking phone.”
I pushed past him and took off running towards the dorms. All I wanted was to lock myself up and ignore the world for a while. Thank goodness Hannah had already left for the weekend because there was no way I could explain why I was such a hot mess right now.
I slammed the door behind me and sank down on my bed. Hot scalding tears were already running down my face. I must have fallen asleep at some point because when I woke the room was darker. The clock on the wall it said it was four pm. I’d been asleep for at least three hours. My body ached and my head was throbbing after all the crying I’d done. Maybe I could just hide out, pretend that this past week hadn’t happened. The thought was short lived because my phone started buzzing.
It had stopped by the time I finally dug it out, but when I swiped my finger over the surface, my heart pounded in my chest. I stared down at the screen incredulously. I had twelve missed calls and six text messages. One call was from Olivia. The rest were all from Finn.
Finn: I’m sorry I’m an asshole.
Finn: Olivia just told me about your week. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. This is just harder than I thought.
Finn: Please answer your phone. I know you’re mad at me, but I need to talk to you. I hate that I scared you.
Finn: Are you okay?
Finn: I’m starting to get worried. Please call me back.
Finn: I’m coming over.
There was a soft knock on my door. I didn’t want to talk to him, but I knew he wouldn’t leave until he saw for himself that I was alright. Fuck it. If he wanted to see me like this, I would let him. He could see how worn down I was after everything. Seeing him with that slut wasn’t the worst thing that had happened this week. Hell, it barely even registered in the week of misery, but it was the final straw. I pulled open the door and glared at him.
“What do you want, Finn?”
“Princess, baby, what can I do?”
He reached up to cup my face and I swatted his hand away.
“Nothing, you leaving me alone would be a big help.”
He winced. “I needed to see you and make sure you were okay.”
I stood in the center of the doorway blocking it so he couldn’t come inside. We didn’t need this to be a social call to clear his conscious.
“You’ve seen me, so your conscious can be clear. I was asleep until about five minutes ago.” I started to close the door. “And now you can leave.”
He shoved his foot in the doorway and grabbed the door before I could close it in his face.
“Cora—”
“No, Finn. Fuck this. You don’t get to swoop in at the end of my bad week like some knight in shining armor and act like you actually give a shit. I needed my friend this week. The only person that truly cared for me in my family has been gone an entire year.” I choked back a sob. “And I might have been able to deal with that better if this whole week hadn’t been such a shit show. So take your meaningless apologies and shove them up your ass.”
“Is that what you think this is? That I don’t fucking care about what goes on with you? Cora, I don’t know how to fucking act around you. I want to be here for everything, but I don’t know up from down right now. I don’t know how to be your friend anymore because everything that was us means so much fucking more now.”
I looked down the hallway and sighed. Grabbing his arm, I tugged him into my room and shut the door. It wasn’t a good idea to be talking about this where anyone could hear.
“What are you talking about?”
“Tell me you aren’t thinking the same thing. Every touch or inside joke means so much more now. I thought the sexual tension between us was bad before, but now it’s like a fucking inferno. Just the smell of your perfume makes me hard as a rock. And you know what sucks the most? You’ve basically said you don’t feel any of that for me.”
“I never said that, Finn. Talk about loaded statements,” I muttered. “If avoiding me makes things easier on you then go.” I pointed to the door. “Get out.”
He took a step closer to me. “That’s the problem, Cora. I don’t want to go. Things are changing between us and we need to figure out what to do to fix it. I can’t lose you.”
I covered my face with my hands. We were supposed to be friends. I’d shoved my feelings for Finn away for so long that I didn’t know what to do or how to act either. It wasn’t just him that didn’t know what to do or say. His arms wrapped around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.
“I just needed my friend this week, Finn.”
“And I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you, but I’m here now.”
He kissed my forehead and pulled me into his chest. His fingers brushed along my cheeks and I stared into his captivating blue eyes. I closed my eyes as he slowly lowered his head to mine. Our lips brushed softly at first. I was lost in his kiss. We stayed standing there for longer than we should have. I finally pulled back, gasping a little for air. He rested his forehead against mine.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I said softly. Hurt flashed across his face. “Finn, we just admitted that we were afraid of losing each other because of what we’ve already done. Why are we making this even more difficult on ourselves?”
“Because maybe once wasn’t enough.”
I shook my head. “What are you saying, Finn?”
“I don’t know, but I’m through pushing you away. We’re friends and we’re going to start acting like it. If you need to talk, call me.”
“Okay.”
He walked towards the door, but stopped with his hand on the knob. “By the way, I wasn’t busy with cheap tramps all week. I’ve been stuck studying in my room. Ask Nate, he tried to get me to come over every night just so I would leave my desk. I’ve never seen that girl before today and I don’t think she’ll be back any time soon after the way you laid into her.”
I fought back the smile trying to escape. Maybe that was the reason why I didn’t have many girl friends. Everything I thought came out of my mouth without a filter. In this case though, I didn’t regret it one bit.
It took a few days, but Cora and I tried to navigate this new version of our friendship the best way we could. We decided to go to the beach and walk the boardwalk on Saturday afternoon. At the very least, I wanted to help get her mind off of all the things going wrong in her life. I contemplated another tattoo and she talked me down. She had been there for all of them. The script on my chest that said ‘and the chaos within me found balance’, that I needed after a particularly rough discussion with my Dad, the arrows that Olivia and I had gotten as soon as we turned eighteen and of course, my sleeve. I had spent a pretty penny on my sleeve this summer and honestly I didn’t know what to do next. My tattoos all had meaning and I didn’t want to do something stupid, spur of the moment, that I would regret later.
If I could keep my mind off of the kiss in her dorm, I would be doing a lot better in the friendship department. Every time I turned around, I wanted to kiss her again, but friends didn’t kiss. I thought that getting her out of our normal routine might help. Now, watching her be goofy as we shopped just made me want her even more. Cora picked up a huge, floppy beach hat and handed me her phone to take a picture. I smiled as she kissed at the camera. This was my favorite version of her, carefree and happy. I hadn’t seen enough of it lately. It was entirely my fault.
“It’s getting late. We should probably head back to campus,” she said reluctantly. I shot her a questioning look. “I’ve got to meet up with my Dad and the stepmonster for dinner.”
�
�That’ll be so much fun.” Sarcasm dripped from my voice. It wasn’t a secret that I hated her dad. The guy is a prick and he only does things that benefit him in some way. Cora wasn’t particularly close with him. To my relief, he wasn’t around much, so I didn’t have to pretend to like him.
“Where is he taking you?”
“Who knows, who cares? I just have to show up so he’ll keep paying for college. If I play nice, I’ll be able to get my trust fund early. Otherwise, I’ll have to wait until I’m twenty-eight.”
“Cora, what are you even going to do with a trust fund? In all the years I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you spend more than a hundred bucks at one time.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, but it would be nice not to have to depend on my parents for everything. They are unreliable and self involved. Hence the parking ticket.”
I watched her pick a few pieces of jewelry up to examine them. She kept going back to a dainty little anchor necklace. It reminded me of the anchor in my tattoo. She finally put it down, shook her head slightly, and moved to the other side of the store. I picked up the necklace and took it to the register quickly, making sure Cora wasn’t watching. The clerk had me checked out before Cora wandered back over. Her wink told me that she understood the need to be quick. I flushed as she put the necklace into a bag.
Cora startled me as she walked back up. I was trying to act nonchalant, but I jumped a mile when she came up behind me.
“You ready to go?”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I guess. I just don’t want to go tonight.”
I rubbed her back and tucked her under my arm. “Just think, you can get drunk and make condescending comments in French that your Stepmom won’t understand.”
She laughed and let me lead her back to the car. We drove back to the dorms in comfortable silence. Each of us lost in our own thoughts. I put the car in park and leaned over to give her a hug. My pulse kicked up as she leaned in to wrap her arms around me. The smell of her perfume filled my senses and I had to stop myself from kissing her goodbye. Cora’s lips parted as her eyes dropped to my mouth. I swear she looked like she wanted me too.
Waiting to Fall: Book Two of the Waiting Duet Page 3
