by Jax Hart
The water looks so clear, so peaceful that I give in to temptation and slip my sandals off and dip my feet in. Taking my phone out of my pocket, my hands fiddle with it but I know what I need to do. It’s time I called my mother and beg for forgiveness but also seek her wisdom. I swipe, unlocking my phone noticing a new text message. Figuring it’s from Luce, I tap it open gasping at this words.
Jeff: I fucked up. Miss you. Come back home babe.
“Arghhh!” I shout, frustrated to hell. My voice echoes through the trees traveling back to me. Just when I finally meet someone else that makes my pulse race, the man I thought was it for me tries to pull me back.
How did he freakin’ know?
It’s like a curse how exes always seem to know when you’re ready to let go of the last remnants of old love.
I sink back on the riverbank, letting the rays of the sun hit my upturned face. Sighing, I hug my knees and make the call.
“Dev? Sweetie?”
“Mom,” I gulp feeling my throat thicken, “I’m sorry. Sorry, I haven’t called sooner—sorry for hurting you so much when you didn’t deserve it.”
“Hush. I’m sorry too,” she whispers. “I should’ve let you know I knew everything about Dee, years ago. I waited too long to give you her letter. It was selfish and wrong of me. You deserved to know she loved you too.”
“Yeah, but she loved the drugs more.”
“Addiction is a terrible thing, Dev. When you get in so deep, it takes too much strength to fight it. Forgive her,” she answers softly.
“I have. She gave me up and I got you as a mom.”
“Does this mean you’re ready to come home?”
My toes dig into the grass. “No. The weird thing is… I kind of love it here. I’ve made some incredible friends. I’ve met someone.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. He’s nothing like Jeff. He’s older, more self-assured. He’s settled in his ways though…”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. A man who knows what he wants can be such a relief. There’s no bullshit. No headaches when they tell you they need space to ‘find themselves.’ ”
I laugh, “Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Care to elaborate?”
“No. Dad and I are fine. But I flipped my shit when he came home with that toy car of his without even asking me.”
I laugh remembering when Dad turned forty-five and wigged out. He started dying his hair and tanning. Mom thought he was having an affair with her best friend Betty.
He wasn’t.
He was just having his mid-life crisis. And he topped it off by buying an Audi convertible two-seater.
“So, tell me about the guy?”
I sigh, “It’s complicated. Dee… she’s not well-liked in Springdale.”
“What? She died years ago. People need to let bygones be bygones.”
“I agree. But she… she came between two men who loved one another like brothers. It tore families apart. Brought down a motorcycle club and Mom, did you know I have a half-brother?”
“No. No I didn’t. God, Dev, I’m so happy for you—” She breaks off and I hear the tears in her voice. She’s crying for me.
“I’m scared. What if he hates me? What if he wants nothing to do with me because of who my mother is?”
“Nonsense. I’m your goddamned mother and you are beautiful, inside and out Dev. He’s gonna be lucky and grateful to know you’re his sister.”
I bite my lip feeling the phone slip in my sweaty hands. “I hope so. God, I hope so, Mom.”
“Take care of yourself, honey. I’m always here. I-I miss you so much. But I understand that you needed this. Can I come visit soon?”
“I’d love that. Luce is here now. School starts in ten days. I’m setting up my classroom. Roger, that’s the guy I like, he invited me to an end of summer celebration at a lake house this weekend.”
“You sound so happy. That’s all I could want for you.”
“I just hope it lasts. How am I going to tell them?”
“You’ll know in your heart when the moment is right. I have faith in you sweetie and if anyone thinks they are going to give you shit for something that was out of your control—I’ll fly across the country to kick some biker ass.”
I snort, wiping tears that I didn’t even realize I was shedding at the picture of my petite mother going toe-to-toe with Rog and Federico.
“I love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, sweetie. Maybe I’ll come in a few weeks.”
“I’d love that.”
“Oh… I almost forgot. Jeff’s been coming around.”
“What?”
“Yeah. He invited your father to golf with him in a charity tournament.”
“No?!”
“Don’t worry. Your father told him to get the hell out.”
“Seriously?”
“No. In my mind he did. But he declined the invite. Jeff had his chance and blew it.”
“He just texted me. Said he was sorry—”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare, Dev. Be strong. He cut and ran when he should’ve committed.”
“I know.”
“Don’t respond. Ignore him and he’ll go away.”
“Okay. We’ll talk soon.”
“We better. Love you, bye.”
“Bye.”
I pick the blades of grass out that cling to my toes. Standing up, I stretch and slip my sandals back on. I might not run here today, but I want to at least investigate the trails.
It’s quiet. There’s nothing but chirping birds, the sound of wind in the trees and the water running over rocks in the creek.
It’s a paradise.
My heart feels clear. Talking to Mom really helped and I feel foolish for not calling sooner. I walk for a bit, each step taking me deeper into the woods. My phone pings with a text. What the hell?
Jeff: We were so good together baby. Come back, I’m ready to give you the world.
My hand grips the phone so hard, I’m shocked it doesn’t crack.
Me: You had your chance. I’m done waiting for your empty promises. Move on. I have.
The sound of my ringing phone is so loud in the woods, I almost drop it. My exes name flashes across the screen. I hit ignore, sending him to voicemail. Head bent down, it looks like I’m stretching when I’m trying really hard not to cry, I’m so angry.
Someone’s coming.
Heavy feet pound on the ground so hard, it vibrates.
Twigs snap.
My heart races, remembering the last time I was caught by the woods alone.
I straighten, preparing to face whatever’s coming.
A man’s running around the bend in the trail, racing towards me. He’s wearing a hoodie with the sleeves cut. Every muscle in his arms pops as he pumps them. I can’t see his face, but his eyes are so blue they glow from under the shadow of his hood. My eyes take in his form, traveling down to the muscle in his thick legs. They’re huge, tan and covered in tats.
Holy fuck.
My knees shake.
My body trembles.
I freeze. Like prey and he’s the predator, barreling down on me. I’m in his sights and I don’t care if he catches me. I want to be caught.
He reaches me, arms snaking out, grabbing me by the waist. He pushes me up against a tree, hard thighs pressing into mine.
He growls, breathing hard against my neck, “Fair game. Out in the woods alone… a sweet thing like you is fair game.”
He kisses my collarbone and I breathe him in.
His skin is slick with a light coat of sweat. He smells like pine, the woods and… Rog.
My legs wrap around his waist. The rough bark digs into my back. I grunt feeling his heavy cock between my thighs. His nose dips and rubs between my cleavage. He lowers my legs to the ground, lifts my shirt, quick hands unclasping my bra. I mewl like a kitten feeling his hot mouth suckle a nipple before rolling it between his tongue.
“So fuckin’ sweet,”
he murmurs, moving his mouth to my other breast. I groan looking down at him loving me with his mouth. The sweet tingle between my thighs turns to a pounding ache. I groan pushing my hips forward needing relief.
His hand unzips my jean shorts, fingers brushing inside, pulling my panties to the side to slide through my slick folds.
“Dev,” he groans finding my clit with his index finger.
I cry out, as he circles it, plays with it while his lips nibble on my nipple before he takes it in his mouth suckling hard.
“Come for me baby. I want to feel it,” he says hoarsely shoving his thick fingers in.
My head falls back against the tree with a thump, he has me. All of me in his hands and I’m coming apart at the seams for this man. He’s not only commanding my body, he’s ruling my wounded heart. Re-building it and tearing it apart at the same time.
“Rog,” I groan, pulling at him, needing his kiss.
He lets my nipple go only to claim my mouth. Our kiss is as wild and rough as the Pacific Northwest woods, his fingers slip through my wetness finding my clit and stroking inside. His kiss sucks my soul from my body to fuse with his as I feel the waves of my release crash over me into his waiting hands.
He grunts, pressing harder into me, determined to coax every last bit of pleasure from my body.
I shake in his embrace, gasping into the air around us, his hands holding me firmly as I lose my mind to the pleasure he gave me.
When it’s over he rests his forehead against mine. His heart beating harder now than it was from his workout.
I did this to him—made his heart race.
A few joggers come around the same bend he did, and I jerk in embarrassment at how close I came to coming in front of complete strangers. Thank god, they are wearing earbuds, because my breathy moans and shouts echoed for a mile I’m sure.
My skin’s flushed, pieces of bark cling to my hair. He did this to me—made me forget the world. For one moment, I forgot all the lies and secrets I’m keeping—ready to burst and ruin what we’re building at any second.
The joggers pass by and my hands reach out clinging to the front of him as I jerk him close for one more reckless kiss. I need to get them now, while he burns for me because it won’t be much longer until he learns the truth.
The air’s thick between us.
So much is understood but left unsaid. I hang my head afraid of what he’ll see in my eyes. Rog is astute—he’ll know I’m hiding something.
His fingers thread through mine, he gives me a firm tug and we walk down the trail back to the parking area. He stares down anyone who even thinks about glancing towards me. I feel so… protected, as if this giant man holding my hand in his, would slay anyone who dared to hurt me in anyway.
We reach my car, my head tips back, his fingers trail down my cheek before he cups my chin and plants the sweetest kiss full of promise on my lips.
“See you at the lake, sugar.”
He opens my door, eyes hungrily devouring every inch of my tan legs up to where my shorts hug the top of my thighs.
I see it all over his face, he wants to make me his, most likely at the lake this weekend. I won’t be able to hold him off without exposing myself.
I gulp, needing him, wanting him so much. But he’ll hate me if we come together only for my lies to rip us apart.
I nod my head as he shuts the door. Driving back to the apartment my thoughts are all over the place, but it’s funny how life unravels; meeting Rog was so unscripted. Thank God Jeff dumped me. Rog’s touch makes me burn more than Jeff’s ever did. I can’t believe there was a time when I thought that man was it for me. In a fucked-up way, finding the road Dee walked brought me Rog. And I want to keep on going, excited but scared as hell to see where it will lead.
I drive home on auto-pilot, my thoughts and emotions wrecked. I’m a pendulum swinging in a different direction at every new revelation that unfolds.
It’s quiet as I pull down the lane to the apartment house. The outside light shines in the twilight. Crickets and grasshoppers sing, the brightest stars can be seen as the sun sinks so low—all that’s left is the dull pink of its wake in the sky.
My tired feet climb the stairs, finally I fumble the key in the lock and open the door. Luce already has a bottle of wine uncorked and a full glass waiting.
She arches an eyebrow, “Damn, please tell me some insanely hot mountain man ravaged you in the woods and now you can’t walk straight.” She gets up walking closer smirking, “You have sticks in your hair and a hickey on your neck.”
“H-he didn’t.”
“He did. Damn, was it the Silver Fox? ‘Cause he just marked you as his woman judging by that love bite. Oh, god, please tell me it was him,” she sighs, walking back to the couch fanning herself with one hand while picking up her wine glass with the other.
I groan slumping down beside her and practically guzzling mine. “It was him. It’s a glorious hot mess, Luce.”
“I’ll bet. Did you really do it in the woods? I knew you had it in you, you dirty slut!” She practically shrieks.
“NO! God, no Luce. I drove out to the old logging roads to clear my head. It’s a trail area now, where people workout. He was running and we kinda collided.”
“Yeah, collisions don’t leave love bites and the smell of sex behind.”
I whiff my shirt. “I don’t smell like sex!”
She rolls her eyes. “Was he huge? Did you feel him? Did you come?”
“Calm down, Luce. What the heck?”
“It’s been a long time for me. So long, I feel like a virgin.”
“Well, it’s been a long time for me too. That’s probably why I came screaming like a banshee when he had me pinned up against the tree.”
“Jesus. I’m so glad the shop next to the tattoo parlor sold vibrators.”
“W-what?” I stutter.
“Don’t worry. I got one for you too. And hopefully after this weekend, you won’t need it because you’ll have that Silver Fox’s big dick in you every night.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Toad told me what happened with the club. My birth mother brought it down. Her name is cursed by them.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Dev. Men are dumb shits—always losing their head over what we got between our legs.”
“Yeah? Well Jeff fell out of love with mine. But he did text me all afternoon.”
“Shut up?”
“Yep. He wants me back.”
“Did you tell him to go to hell?”
“No. I-I didn’t dignify him.”
“That probably pissed him right off,” she snorts, digging her hands into a bag of chips she left next to the remote, “he’s got an ego the size of the city of Chicago itself.”
“Tell me how you really feel?” I mutter grabbing a handful of chips myself.
“He’s a prick. He probably would’ve cheated on you if you did marry him and it would’ve been a trainwreck.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Cheer up, Dev. You’ve caught the big bad wolf.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of. It all started years ago with these two men, Colin Flynn and John Masters. Oh, before I forget—I have a brother.”
She chokes motioning me to continue.
So, I do. I tell her every sordid detail while we pass the bottle of wine back and forth. Twenty minutes into the story, we stop using glasses and chug straight from the bottle.
“You need to tell him Dev. Now before it’s too late. If he’s catching feelings for you and you sleep with him—then he finds out. Damn, I’d hate to see that man angry. He’ll cut you out for sure. Not because of who you are but because you didn’t trust him with the truth.”
I shiver, “I know. I like him so much,” my hands crumble the empty bag twisting it in a ball, “I’m so afraid that once I tell him… the way he looks at me is going to change and I won’t be able to do anything about it.”
“I know sweetie,” she hugs me and strokes my h
air, “but you owe him the truth. What he decides is up to him. But I know you’re a woman worth knowing, Dev. Fuck him if he holds your DNA against you.”
“I hope he thinks so, too.”
We decide to order delivery and snuggle under a blanket watching Sons of Anarchy all night until we can’t keep our eyes open, despite how hot Jax is and we turn it off.
The last thought I have as my head hits my pillow is of the way his eyes glowed like a predator as he rounded that curve in the woods and came for me.
I shiver under the covers, close my eyes and slip my hand between my thighs. It doesn’t feel as good as he did. Groaning, I open my eyes confused for a second at the hot pink dildo sitting on my dresser. Shoving the covers away, I bound out of bed and grab it. It hums loudly, I press another button and the head of it vibrates like a jack hammer.
Biting my lip, I fall back into bed, pinch my nipples and moan as I slip it in. “Rog,” I gasp, throwing my head from side to side, pretending it’s him hitting my G-spot, not a pink plastic dick. My phone pings with a text disrupting me.
Rog: Can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout you sugar.
I was so close to coming, I decide to text him back when I’m done. My hand slaps the phone away as I pick up where I left off.
My hand pumps it in and out, I rise, sitting on it reverse cowgirl, so it goes deeper. It hits my G-spot with the speed of a jackrabbit. The old bed that came with the rental squeaks loudly in rhythm to my hips fucking the toy. I moan, arching my back coming and gasping his name, “Rog.”
“Yes, sugar,” he chuckles in the dark.
My eyes pop open, I’m still having aftershocks as my eyes fall to my cell where it says I’ve got an open call going on for over a minute.
Yelping, I hit end call and fall back on the bed mortified.
He texts:
Rog: I’m so fuckin’ hard right now. It’s all your fault. Pick up your phone and make it right.
Me: I have no clue what you are taking about.
My phone rings. I answer but don’t speak.
“Hearing you say my name when you came right now was the sweetest thing I ever heard. Don’t you dare deny what you were doing, Dev. And don’t do it again. The next time you come, it’s gonna be with my dick inside you. I want to hear you say it Dev. I want to hear you scream my name in my ear as my dick drives into you so deep—you’ll remember it for the rest of your life.”
