by Trina M. Lee
“Is that all? Feels like there’s more, something you’re not saying.” It took great effort to stare into his eyes rather than at his neck. Shit. I was such a typical vampire.
“There is more,” he confirmed with a nod. “I want you to accept that our relationship has changed but that we are still us, Lex. You and me. That doesn’t change just because you did.”
“Doesn’t it?” I asked with a brow raised, unable to fathom how someone as smart as Shaz was able to deceive himself so completely.
He shook his platinum head. His expression was stern, hardened in stubborn refusal. “You fed off me before you turned. Why should that change now? Let me be the one, Alexa. You can take what you need from me. We can still have what we had before.”
Despite his plea, there was no desperation in him. Shaz really believed what he said, that we could maintain our relationship even though I would always be the predator and he, my prey. It wasn’t right.
“Shaz, you know you’re too good for that kind of thing, don’t you? I see you as my equal. I always have. But if we carry on like that, you become only my victim. And that’s just not fair to you.”
He blinked a few times before pushing away from the car, crossing the small space between us. In a bold, possibly reckless move, he trapped me against my car, leaning in close with a hand on the hood on either side of me.
“If I thought it was unfair, I wouldn’t be here right now. I am not afraid of you. Stop trying to convince me that I should be.” With wolf fangs bared, he brazenly nipped at my bottom lip before kissing me with a passion that could only come from the beast within.
My wolf responded in full. She threw herself against my insides and unable to resist the call of his beast, I grabbed a handful of soft, blond hair and kissed him back with an all-consuming need that set free a part of me I’d tried so hard to cage.
The vampire side of me wouldn’t be outdone. It rose up hard and fierce, sweeping us both up in the thrall of it. Shaz’s kiss grew aggressive, demanding. His fingertips dug into my back as he clutched me tight.
Shaz didn’t know what he was asking. Or maybe he did, but he had no idea what it would do to us both. The changing dynamic of our relationship had never sat well with me. I knew that, to some extent, it couldn’t be avoided, but things had changed too much. Though he would age slower than a human, he would still age. And I would not. When would he realize that this could never be? Not really. Not anymore.
Those anguished thoughts drove me to a dark place. If he wouldn’t see it for himself, I would have to make him see. “You say you’re not afraid of me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I could kill you in a heartbeat.” With a sudden burst of violence, I shoved him, almost throwing him down on the ground between both cars.
Since it wasn’t the first vampire-strength shove Shaz had taken, he recovered fast, keeping his balance. His hands clenched into fists, and his wolf looked out at me through his eyes. It was exciting. I knew facing off with Shaz would be exhilarating. The darkness wanted me to do it, to push him, to see how far he would go.
Much to my surprise, Shaz smiled. Because he knew me too damn well. “I know what you’re doing,” he said. “And it’s not going to work.” Then he grabbed me with a roughness that thrilled me and gave me a shake. “Do you want to kill me? Because I don’t think you do. But if you need to try so you can get it out of your system, then I’m ready.”
He kissed me again. It was angry, daring, and filled with the longing of a man who had been patient for far too long.
Killing Shaz was not something I wanted. However, I’d already tried, the night I first awoke as vampire. The chance of losing control was always there. And I’d rather die than ever truly hurt him.
Fisting a handful of his hair, I jerked his head back and peered into his pretty, green wolf eyes. “You want it, don’t you?” I snarled. “The bite. The power. You never really did kick that, did you?”
Eyes glazed with desire, he flashed me a wolfy grin. “Just you, Lex. I just want it from you.”
There was a lie in there, or perhaps more of a half-truth. “And Arys,” I said. “You’ve been with Arys.”
Shame flicked through his gaze, but it was not accompanied by true guilt. “I missed you. He missed you. Can you blame us?”
No, I couldn’t. I didn’t. Much as I’d once hated the thought of them sharing something so intimate, Arys was the only vampire I’d ever trust Shaz with. I didn’t even trust him with me.
The need to make Shaz see that he shouldn’t trust me either drove me. Slipping into the vampire mindset, I jerked him close again and ran my tongue over the pulse beating in his neck. His arousal soared, and I basked in it, drawing strength from it. Then without hesitation, I bit him.
For a moment I lost myself so fully in the heady energy surrounding him that I saw nothing but Shaz, felt nothing but Shaz. And it felt so fucking right that it almost killed me. Because I knew it wasn’t.
Werewolf blood spilled warm onto my tongue. I sighed as he groaned. We were both getting off on this exchange. So why was it wrong again? I wrestled with myself, a back and forth argument in my head.
The darkness demanded that I take it all the way and feast on every beat of his heart. But that was all it was, a demand that I chose not to answer. I was sure then that there was no darkness in this world so great that it could bring me to kill this wolf I loved. And I prayed that I never lived to see the day that I was proven wrong about that.
Shaz pressed against me, drawing my attention to the physical evidence of his arousal. And just like the previous evening with Arys, it snapped me out of the spell.
I shoved him back with a strangled cry. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
Shaz didn’t question it as Arys had. He just knew. He sat splayed against his car, staring at me with dismay that gave way to irritation.
“Too late.” His hand went to his neck, applying pressure to the small wound. “You can’t keep pushing me away.”
Guilt racked me. Pushing them all away seemed to be for the best. If I could somehow put enough distance between myself and all of the men I felt so strongly for, maybe we could all find ourselves again.
Not Arys, a voice inside me whispered. You will never find yourself without him.
I was so fucking confused.
“I have to go,” I said. “Briggs is expecting me.”
“I’ll be here when you get out. You need me. I’m your balance between the light and dark.” Shaz drew himself up to his full height and squared his shoulders. He seemed to be expecting a fight.
He certainly was the balance. That’s why I could never kill him. He subdued the part of me that wanted such illicit things.
Feeling charged and feisty, I laid another kiss on him, reveling in the taste and scent of wolf. Shaz always felt like home.
“You are.” I nodded, a wistful smile crossing my face. My emotions were a rollercoaster of ups and downs. “But you deserve to be so much more.”
I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I got in my car and left him standing there, watching me go. A glance at the clock on the dash told me that Kale’s flight had likely left already. I stuffed the pang of sorrow back down inside, refusing to feel it. Refusing to feel anything. He was gone, and I was numb. I had to be.
Seeking mischief, I parked in the staff parking lot beside the FPA building and waited. As expected, Briggs emerged from the back door minutes later with half a dozen agents in tow. Because I wasn’t stupid, my car was empty of anything incriminating or personal. I was sure they would search it.
“Nice to see you again, Agent Briggs.” I greeted him with a smile that was all malice and held my hands out in a dramatic gesture, awaiting the cuffs I knew were coming.
Briggs nodded to the agent at his side, and the guy stepped forward, pulling the offensive handcuffs from his back pocket. The expression Briggs wore was neutral, hard to read. “You came. I’m glad you still value the well being of your sister above you
r insatiable need to kill.”
“Well, like I said before, you just don’t know me.” I turned my smile on the agent who slapped the cuffs on me, doing his best not to touch me in the process. “I want to see my sister.”
“Patience, O’Brien,” Briggs said, arms crossed as he studied me. To his agent he said, “Make those things tighter. I don’t want the slightest chance of her slipping them.”
The moment the horrid handcuffs touched me, I felt a stifling sensation as whatever magic was in them effectively caged my power. I couldn’t use my abilities without them bouncing back at me. Though I didn’t know for sure how the FPA came to have such things, I suspected there was a deal with a demon in there somewhere.
As Briggs studied me, I studied him right back. If he planned to leave me cuffed and cut off from all power, we were going to have a problem. I’d held up my end of the bargain. Now he’d better hold up his.
The way he watched me with such thinly veiled satisfaction was concerning. This man had been a huge pain in my ass since the first time we met. I didn’t doubt that our relationship would end with one of us killing the other.
“All right,” Briggs barked. “Let’s get her inside. Follow basic protocol for all inhuman detainees. Do not let your guard down with this one.”
I was pleased to be considered a threat even while cuffed. Still, his command left me feeling uneasy. I didn’t have a clue what their protocol was other than what I’d seen them do to Kale. It made me thankful that he’d left town without knowing about this. I never wanted to see him at the mercy of the FPA again.
The group of agents ushered me into a lobby that was in much better shape than most of the bedraggled, rubble-filled building. Maintaining the abandoned appearance of the old, haunted hospital allowed the FPA to operate unnoticed. They made use of the top floor and the basement, leaving all floors in between exactly as they’d been for many years: haunted and in total disrepair.
They led me to a large, caged elevator at the back of the lobby. None too gentle, they shoved me inside, all crowding in around me with Briggs entering last. He hit a button that I knew was taking us to the basement. Not good.
The basement was the worst part of the whole building, and I hadn’t even seen all of it. It housed the lock up and the labs, not to mention the evil that lived in the land, getting inside the mind of anyone with any connection to the dark. Already I could feel it. Like a wordless whisper, it welcomed me back.
Being confined in the elevator with them all surrounded me with their human scent. Though my bloodlust had been appeased, part of me was certain I could kill them all without any power. The evil lurking in the building pressed close, encouraging me. Should I try? No, better to be patient.
Briggs was watching me like he knew my thoughts. “Let’s just all play nice, O’Brien, and nobody has to get hurt.”
“Well now, where’s the fun in that?” I bared my fangs and winked at the agent closest to me. He stiffened, maintaining his tough-guy stance, though he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
When the elevator stopped and the door opened, we were in a part of the basement I’d never seen before. Last time I’d been here, I’d come in on the opposite end of the maze of halls.
I was nudged, jostled, and guided out of the elevator into a lab. It must have been the same one Jez had told me about. The main area we stood in was large and white. It was filled with cabinets and drawers with labels marking what was inside.
A hallway led to separate exam rooms. Every door was closed. An alarm went off in my brain. What the fuck was Briggs up to?
Being cuffed didn’t affect my senses. I was able to feel the energy of another vampire behind one of those doors and something else that felt human but more. I was wary, but I wasn’t afraid. I’d been curious about what went on down here, and I was about to find out.
“What are we doing, Briggs?” I asked. “Am I receiving the grand tour?”
His eyes narrowed, and he shot me a warning glare. “Something like that.”
Ok, I got it. He needed to go through the motions as he would with any vampire in custody. I didn’t want to blow his cover, but I was not too keen on being a lab rat. In fact, I was very much against it.
“Room number three,” he barked. Briggs wasn’t much of a calm talker with his agents.
They herded me down the hall to room three, and I let them, until they pushed the door open and I saw inside.
It looked like a medical room from hell. A gurney-like bed took up the far wall. The restraints attached to it appeared to be made of some kind of heavy metal, more like chains than straps. Beside it sat a medical tray filled with tools: needles, scalpels, and other assorted devices I didn’t know by name.
“I don’t fucking think so.” I stood rooted in the doorway, refusing to take another step. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Briggs?”
Agent Briggs shouldered the guy next to me aside and took his place. “Just following protocol.” Then he pulled out a Taser and held it inches from my neck. “Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”
I searched him for some kind of sign that we were still on the same page, but I didn’t find it. He was going to have to tase me then, because I was not going to be a willing lab rat.
“Fuck your protocol.” I regarded him with defiance, daring him to take this as far as he could.
So he did. The Taser hit my skin and sent wave after wave of electricity surging through me. It wasn’t my first time being tased by a man who needed a weapon to replace his balls. Being beyond human life and death made it easier to take, but it still hurt like a bitch. It still dropped me to my knees and left me feeling dazed.
A door on the other side of the room opened and in walked a man wearing a lab coat. I recognized him. He’d been helping two other agents interrogate one of Arys’s victims last time I’d been in here, when I’d come to find Kale.
“You,” I said through clenched teeth. “You just happen to be on my FPA hit list.”
The doctor paused, gave me a dismissive once over and reached for a syringe from the tray. He tore it from its packaging and shared a look with Briggs.
Several hands grabbed and pulled at me as the agents struggled to get me onto the gurney. I resisted by throwing my weight into those closest, knocking them down before turning to the others. One received a head-butt in the face that had his nose gushing. Another caught my elbow in the eye.
Guns were drawn, equipped with a handy crossbow feature just for vampires. What a bunch of damn babies. They had been improving their weaponry, but it would only get them so far.
“Are you gonna shoot me, Briggs?” I demanded, advancing on him.
He didn’t fight back as I backed him up against the door we’d entered through. He held up a hand to calm the agents ready to plug me full of crossbow bolts.
“We just want to take a little blood, O’Brien. That’s all.”
“Just a little blood, huh?” I sneered into his face, seething. “Does that exchange go both ways? Seems only fair.”
My gaze dropped to the pulse in his neck. I watched it beat beneath the surface of his smooth, dark skin. He had left this part out of our discussion two nights ago. How convenient for him.
“It can,” he said, surprising me. “You want blood, I’ll give it to you. Take your pick.” He gestured to the room full of men. Some of them were visibly shaken by this while others remained stoic and silent.
I shook my head, unimpressed. “No deal. If you want my blood, then I want yours. Fair trade or nothing.”
The idiot doctor made the mistake of thinking I was too focused on Briggs to notice him creeping up behind me. He might have gotten the drop on me once, but I’d changed since then. That wasn’t going to happen a second time.
I whirled to face him before he could plunge the syringe into me. Grabbing hold of his arm, I slammed it down so the needle stabbed into his thigh. Then I got both hands around his neck and squeezed.
It happened so fast. Bones
broke beneath my hands. His breath choked off, and his face turned red. I flung him backward so hard he fell over a chair and hit the floor flat on his back. His dead eyes stared up at the ceiling. That was easy. Too easy. Not quite enough satisfaction in that one. Oh well. Briggs never should have left my hands in front of me.
“Hold your fire,” Briggs shouted. To me he held out a hand, like he was pleading with a rabid dog to calm down. “Alexa, if you want to see Juliet then you better learn fast how to fucking cooperate.”
I wanted to hurt him so bad I vibrated with the strength it took to keep from rushing him. “I need to fucking cooperate? I’m not the one treating you like a science experiment. Take me to my sister now, and I’ll do my best not to kill anyone else.”
He shook his head and gave me an imploring look. He wanted me to be on my best behavior so we could play out our little ruse, if indeed he still intended to hold to that, and my antics were making that hard for him. Too bad. Briggs never should’ve tried a stunt like this. No good would come of the FPA having a sample of my blood.
“Sir?” A young, twenty-something agent spoke up. “Should we just tranq her?”
I raised a brow and awaited Briggs’s response. He looked tired and somewhat defeated when he nodded and waved a dismissive hand.
“What the fuck, Briggs?” I hissed, betrayed and livid that he would treat me like an animal. I wasn’t surprised though.
“There’s enough in that shot to take down an elephant,” Briggs said, nodding to the tranquilizer gun the agent held ready. “Or a vampire. You’ll sleep it off within an hour. We’ll talk then.”
Rage exploded out, but there was nothing I could do with it. “You pathetic little man, I am going to fucking kill—”
I never got to finish that threat. A tranquilizer dart in the shoulder flooded me with a dose of sedatives that would have been lethal on anyone with a true heartbeat. My vision blurred, and my tongue grew heavy. Seconds later I was out.
