When he handed one to her and their hands brushed, she tried not to think about the sizzle of pure lust that flared at the contact. Yeah, they’d always just clicked. That was, when they weren’t sparking off each other like fireworks.
She cleared her throat. “Thank you.”
And there was the awkwardness again.
They both ate in silence for the first few minutes. The food was really good, and she thought she should tell him, but every time she opened her mouth to say so, she shoved in another bite of chicken instead.
Man, she didn’t like this tension, or how she was hyperaware of his every move. There was no denying the intense sexual attraction, and even though he’d laid down the no consummation rule—well, wouldn’t it be easier to just jump each other’s bones and get it out of their systems? They weren’t going to fool anybody into believing they were husband and wife when they shied away from touching each other.
Shelby drew a breath and took a sip of her wine for courage. “So…” She twirled the stem of her glass between her fingers. “I’ve been thinking. Since the money thing wasn’t working for either of us, maybe we can also reconsider the no-sex rule?”
Reece fumbled his glass, and wine sloshed down the front of his shirt. “No.”
Okay, that sounded final. She watched him blot at the stain, then finally give up and pull the shirt off. Underneath he wore a tank top that showed off his carved biceps and broad chest, which did nothing to help calm her libido. He had such a drool-worthy body, with a slim waist and washboard abs dipping into a sharp V at his hips, and she desperately wanted to tie him up and make him beg again. Or he could tie her up.
Either way, they’d have a fun time together.
“Why not?” she asked.
Without looking at her, he stood and grabbed some paper towels to clean up the spill on the counter, then picked up his plate and took it around to the sink on the other side of the island. “Because.”
“Because you’re the boss and you said so? That doesn’t work with me and you know it.”
He rinsed his plate and placed it in the dishwasher, but he still avoided facing her. “I don’t want—”
She pointed her fork at him. “You better not say you don’t want me, mister. I’ll know for a fact you’re lying.”
“I do want you.” He braced his hands on each side of the sink. His shoulders slumped, his head dropped forward, and he sighed. “But I don’t have the experience to…uh, I mean I’ve never…”
He trailed off. Seconds ticked by in silence. Then a few more. His shoulder muscles knotted tighter with each passing beat, and realization struck her with all the shock of a lightning bolt.
No. No way. He couldn’t be.
She left her seat and circled the island to stand beside him. “Are you telling me you’ve never had sex?”
His spine straightened, and he met her gaze. “Yes.”
Whoa. For a solid half minute, her brain fizzled out, and she couldn’t find two words to put together. Her mouth worked soundlessly. “You mean, at the hotel in Vegas…? The oral sex? Was that your first time?”
“No.” Shrugging off the hand she’d set on his forearm, he turned away, but not before she caught the stain of color filling his cheeks. “I’m not a monk, but I’ve never gone beyond oral.”
“How is that even…? You’re a handsome, successful, healthy, thirty-something-year-old male, and you’ve never gotten past third base? With anyone?”
He winced. “Not because I didn’t want to.”
“But…” Crap, she was approaching this all wrong. She shook her head, hoping to clear it. “I’m sorry. I’m not bashing your lifestyle choice. I-I’m just…stunned.”
“Remaining celibate wasn’t a conscious decision,” he said in a carefully modulated tone, as if they were discussing a business matter over a boardroom table. She could almost see him building his walls up, surrounding himself with the supercilious attitude he had down to an art.
That attitude was a shield.
How had she not realized it before? He acted all uptight as a way to protect himself. As someone who was well versed in internal shields, she should have made the connection sooner.
“Okay,” she said. “So if it wasn’t a conscious decision on your part, then why didn’t you find yourself a willing high-society lady and do the dirty?”
“I…” He cleared his throat. “I merely felt there were more important ways to spend my time than pursuing a bedmate.”
“A bedmate?” She snorted a laugh, hoping to break down his wall again. She hadn’t meant to goad him into rebuilding it in the first place, and she preferred relaxed Reece over this uptight version. “Oh, Hershey, you were born in the wrong century, pal.”
“Fine,” he snapped and, yes, that was more like it. “I had more important things to do than look for a fuck.”
“That’s better.” She waited a beat, but when he said nothing more, she prompted, “More important things like…?”
“Like making enough money to take care of my family.”
Not the answer she’d expected. “But your brothers all had their own careers. You didn’t have to provide for them.”
“Yes, I did. I do.” He paced away from her, did a lap around the kitchen. When he circled back, his expression was serious, and was that sorrow lurking in the depths of his eyes? “You have to understand, Greer could have let the foster care system sweep us up, separate us, but he worked his ass off to make sure we stayed together in our own home. He gave up his childhood to take care of us, and he didn’t have to.”
“So you gave up your adulthood.” Her heart cracked, just a bit. She went to him, circled her arms around his waist, and pressed her check against his spine. He was tense, all knotted, and her hug only tightened his muscles more. Wasn’t that always the way? Whenever she tried to help, she only made things worse. But she wasn’t letting go. This time, she knew exactly how to help.
“I didn’t give up anything,” Reece said, again using that restrained tone.
“What about college?”
“I went to college.”
“No, I mean…the whole college experience. Frat parties and questionable one-night stands. You didn’t do any of that?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I was ROTC and worked full time in the school’s IT department for money to send home to the twins and Jude. My free time I spent setting up DMW Systems.”
She huffed out a breath in disbelief. “You really are a workaholic.”
“Yes, I am.” He finally turned and faced her, jaw set. “I promised Greer years ago that I’d make damn sure we never had to scramble to survive again, and I’ve worked my ass off to keep that promise.”
Scrambling to survive. God, she knew how that felt. Their childhood experiences had been vastly different and yet surprisingly the same. And she got it. She got him. Understood why he’d ignored his own wants and needs all these years. It was equal parts dedication to his family and guilt.
But she wasn’t going to let him cast himself aside. Not anymore. She’d simply have to ease him into it. “I want an ice cream sundae for dessert.”
Reece just stared at her. “What?”
“Ice cream. It sounds good.” She walked over to the freezer and found the carton of vanilla she’d bought during her grocery run earlier in the day. She held it up, wiggled it side to side. “Want some?”
He blinked several times. “Uh…that’s it?”
“Well, no. Duh. We need hot fudge, peanuts, sprinkles…” She opened a cupboard and gathered the ingredients. “Oh, and Reddi-wip.”
His jaw dropped. “I just told you something nobody else knows and your only response is…ice cream?”
“What did you expect?” She had to fight to keep from grinning as she dug the scoop into the carton. He was making this too easy. “You said sex is off the table. And although I’d rather have sex on the table—literally—and I think your self-imposed celibacy is kinda martyr-ish—and not in a good way—I’l
l still respect your decision. I’m all about alternative lifestyles. Live and let live.”
He looked completely baffled. “That’s…mature of you.”
“It is, isn’t it?” She grabbed the canister of Reddi-wip, shook it, and aimed at him. “But this isn’t.” She pressed her finger on the tip.
“Shelby!” He sputtered in disbelief as the cream splattered his face. “What the hell?”
“Hey, you said no sex, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun.” She hit him with another spray from the can. “You need to learn about fun and spontaneity.”
“Give me that.” He tried to swipe it and got another face full of whipped cream for his trouble. He growled and lunged. She dodged. They circled the island, her grinning, him scowling, until he feigned right and caught her around the waist when she darted to the left. He swept her up off her feet, but lost his footing on the now slippery tile, and they tumbled to the floor in a knot of limbs.
Reece took the brunt of the fall, but it didn’t slow him down. He snatched the can from her and constructed a neat pile of cream on top of her head. “You are trouble.”
“Yeah, I am.” She scooped up some of the cream and smeared it over his face and chin, down his neck and chest.
And like that, the mood changed, just as she hoped it would. His heart pounded under her palm, and his breathing quickened, became choppier. She moved her hand up his chest, around the back of his neck, and tangled her fingers in the hair at his nape.
He tensed. “I know when I’m being manipulated.”
“And you like it.” Obviously, judging by the action going on below his belt. She continued skimming her hand down his back, over his ass, then circled around to cup the growing bulge of his cock. “Still so sure you want sex off the table?”
He shuddered. “If we do this, it doesn’t change anything.”
“Of course it doesn’t. It’s just sex.” As soon as the words left her lips, she knew she was wrong. For a man who had put aside his physical needs for years, it wouldn’t be just sex.
Still she wanted it. Wanted him. Wanted to be his first.
His fingers trembled as he traced the line of her jaw, the caress light and soft. He leaned down, and she thought for sure he was about to kiss her, but he stopped at the last second before their lips touched. “Shelby…there’s something else.”
“What?” she breathed. For the love of all things sexy, what else could there be?
“I didn’t deny myself for only the reasons I told you.” His breath fanned her cheek as he nuzzled her just under the ear before giving the lobe a quick little nip. “I’ve…there’s a darkness in me, and it’s always frightened me. Like I’m not normal.”
Her pulse fluttered. “What kind of darkness?”
“The first time we met, I wanted to put my handprint…” He skimmed a palm up her leg and squeezed her ass. “Right there.”
She shivered and wetness pooled between her thighs. “I want it there, too.”
“And I thought I’d want to tie you up, blindfold you, and maybe I still will, but the way you had me splayed out on that bed in Vegas was so fucking hot, I want you to do it to me again.”
She speared her fingers into his hair and tugged until he met her gaze. “If you think you’re turning me off right now, you have another think coming.” She was so hot she was about to internally combust. “Touch me, Reece. See for yourself.” She guided his hand between her legs.
He growled and traced the seam of her jeans. “Let’s take this to the bedroom and get these off you.”
“No.” She pulled him back when he tried to get up. “Here. Right here.”
She expected a protest. Instead, he scooped her up, stood, and laid her on the island. His hands shook as he fumbled the button on her jeans, slid them and her panties down her legs. Whether from nerves or desire, she didn’t know. Maybe a bit of both.
Her hands weren’t all that steady either when she reached to unfasten his belt. He stepped back and pulled off his shirt, his muscles bunching with the movement. His belt hissed as he whipped it off. He trailed the end of the leather strap over her stomach. “Next time, I plan to tie you up with this.”
She caught her breath. “There’ll be a next time?”
“I’m not going to kid myself. I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you after this.” A smile quirked his lips. “I can barely do it now.”
“I don’t mind.” She captured his hands, guided them to her aching breasts. He massaged her through her shirt, then tugged the fabric off over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra and basked in the appreciative sound he made before he dipped his head and sucked one nipple into his mouth.
For a virgin, he had the mouth of a sex god. Especially when he worked his way down her stomach and licked her slit in one long motion.
She moaned and worked her hips against his mouth. She was close. So close. All she needed was…
His tongue left her and he walked away.
Shelby lay there on the island counter, confused and panting, right up to the edge and vibrating with the need for release. Where had he…?
But then he was back, tearing open a small package.
Condom.
He’d gone to get a condom.
Thank God.
She propped herself on her elbows and watched him roll it on. Their eyes met and his flared hot before he took himself in hand and stepped into the V of her parted legs. She watched as his cock nudged into her opening, inch by inch. It was erotic, feeling the slow friction of his intrusion, seeing him disappear inside of her, and knowing he’d never done this with anyone before.
He froze, trembling. “You’re tight.”
“You’re big,” she gasped and couldn’t force herself to hold still for a second longer. She lifted her hips. “God, Reece. Move.”
It took him a moment to find his rhythm, then another to keep her counter-thrusts from throwing him off. But once he got it…dear God. He fucked her mercilessly, driving her toward orgasm with an exuberant, single-minded focus.
“Fuck,” he gasped. “I need to go deeper. Lift your legs.”
She did as commanded, and he shackled her ankles with his hands, holding her still as he drove harder into her. Her sex opened wider to him, and he watched with hooded eyes as their bodies slammed together.
“Look at you taking all of me.” He punctuated each word with a merciless thrust. “You like it, don’t you? Nod.”
She nodded and managed a gasped “Yes!” which faded into a moan when he hit a spot deep inside her that made her convulse. He was so wonderfully rough, demanding, and yes, now she could see that bit of darkness, the edge in him he’d been so afraid of.
And, holy God, she couldn’t wait to explore that further.
An orgasm exploded through her, taking her by surprise, and her body locked down on his. Reece shouted and jerked through his own climax, then released his grip on her ankles. He’d left red handprints there, but she didn’t mind one bit.
Gasping, he collapsed forward, his damp forehead pressed to her belly. “You tightened up like a fist. I wasn’t ready for it. Jesus.”
She laughed and combed her fingers into his hair. “Want to try again? Practice makes perfect.”
“Hell yes. Except this time…” He straightened and climbed up on the counter beside her. Wrapping his hands around her waist, he lifted her easily, setting her down over his hips. “You’re going to ride me, and you’re not going to come until I tell you to.”
Chapter Twelve
Shelby floated through the morning, all nerves about her upcoming shopping trip with Libby buried by memories of excellent sex. Reece had proved to be a fast learner. A fast, enthusiastic learner. And, holy hell, he liked to be in control. He about killed her by not letting her orgasm until he was good and ready for her to. And when he finally let her…
Boom.
She’d detonated. She still wasn’t entirely sure she had all of her pieces put back together again.
After spending several hours the night before fucking on every flat surface they could find, they had worked themselves into exhaustion and parted ways, each going to sleep in their own beds. It was a really good arrangement. One she had to be careful not to get used to, she reminded herself as she dressed comfortably for a daylong shopping marathon. This situation was only temporary.
Still, nothing would be able to ruin her mood today.
Or…so she thought. Then she spotted Jason Mallory loitering by the mall entrance where she was supposed to meet Libby.
She stalked over to him. “What are you doing here? You need to leave! Now.”
When she turned away, he grabbed her arm. “You fucking married him?”
She tried to jerk free, but Jason was too big, too strong. “You wanted me to get closer to him, so I did. I’ve done everything you’ve asked. What more do you want?” She again tried to free her arm with one hard tug.
He let her go. “How about thinking with your head instead of your hormones? After all these years, haven’t you learned? Sex only gets you into trouble. Remember Steven Moore?”
She flinched. Direct blow. Her sister had even said something similar to her in Vegas, and Eva was right. They both were right. She always let her hormones cloud rational thought. She was no better than her mother that way, and her ex-boyfriend Steven had died because she got too involved.
“It’s not like that this time.”
“Are you willing to wager your future on that? Because that’s exactly what you’re doing, Shelby. Giving up your freedom for an easy lay.”
“No.” Heat gathered behind her eyes, and her vision started to blur. “I promise, I’m only doing what you asked. Please, believe me. But it’s not going to work if you keep approaching me like this.”
Jason said nothing for a long moment. “You have a week. Next time we talk, you’d better have something good for me.”
She slumped against the wall as he walked away and willed herself not to cry. Oh, God, she didn’t want this duplicitous life anymore. She hated Jason with every fiber of her being. Hated the things she’d been forced to do for him. The things he was still forcing her to do. She’d thought The Bean Gallery would be her ticket out from under his thumb, but now that was gone, and she was right back to where she started.
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