by Jon Chaisson
Denysia exhaled in defeat. She looked into the blank space around them, stretching and cricking her neck as she did so. She wasn't necessarily tired, but resting sounded like a good idea right now. She adjusted her robe as she sat down on the ground and crossed her legs in front of her, her own wings folding over her shoulders like a cape, keeping her warm. Annedin adjusted herself a little bit to move closer, and lowered her head into Denysia's lap. Denysia rested her hands upon her, stroking the short flame-colored ridge-tufts of fur running down the back of her neck.
“We can figure this out as we get to it.” Annedin said. “For now, we have more immediate situations to think about. The time is coming when we will need to face the Shenaihu nuhm’ndah, and we must prepare. Karinna is doing all she can, but even if she were to be trained by an Elder, I'm afraid she might not be ready. As for the others? I wish them Peace, Love and Light. I will keep them in my spirit.”
“I shall too,” Denysia said. They continued to sit there in silence for some time, comfortable with each other's company, cherishing it. Eventually Annedin closed those black eyes and fell into a light sleep. Denysia did not sleep, but calmed herself the best she could. She centered herself with an image of two intersecting circles, ribbon-thin gold, an ever-swirling image waltzing in a calm light. Nothing harmed or threatened her in this black, bleak landscape, and she had Annedin to protect her. All was peace.
She thought of Karinna trying her best to protect her, never understanding that she could only protect herself in the end. She was committed to protect her young sister no matter what the cost, which in itself was noble. Yet she did this at a price to her own survival, not always choosing to keep her own sanity from falling apart when things got out of hand. She would need to learn this, and learn this quick.
Denysia sighed quietly and Annedin stirred but did not wake up.
I am responsible for my own actions, she thought to herself. It's about time I live up to that. By now she had a good idea of how to take care of Natianos Lehanna and Saisshalé. She would be holding onto this plan until the last possible moment, but other than that she would do all she could to keep both sides at bay. This spiritual war was coming, and it would be a fierce one; she felt within her soul that things had started to happen not only in Bridgetown but in other parts of the world.
Keeping the peace she could work with. She knew how to do that. Executing this plan to neutralize Saisshalé, however, would prove difficult. If Amna — if Annedin — were with her, perhaps things might be easier. Having D'kami here would complete the picture, even knowing who he was now. Well, perhaps he would be returning soon, just as Anando had done for Karinna...
She was ready to return to Gharra, but she would not rush herself or anyone else. Things would unfold soon enough, and when they did, then she'd be ready.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Peace
The cool early evening breeze pushed against Poe’s ARU overcoat as he stood at the edge of the Crest, looking out over the Bridgetown Sprawl. He watched the lights turning on all over the city, randomly blinking to life as the sun made its slow descent over the western hills. Autumn was halfway through its course now, and the month was slowly coming to an end. The temperature hovered somewhere in the high fifties most nights now. It was the time of year when winter became an inevitability and people cherished whatever warm weather remained.
Poe stood up here, in his usual spot near the center of the rocky ridge overlooking the city, as he had been doing recently over the past few weeks. Caren was off with Anando tonight, taking a well-deserved break from work and anything else that threatened her or the city. She'd been taking the rushed Mendaihu training the ARU had offered her, little more than a refresher course on defensive theories she'd already learned at the Unit academy but every little bit helped. She'd picked up all the methods and principles as if it were instinct and expanded on them to her own liking. Emha Crittiqila Nayélha’s additional teaching had been minimal but effective as well.
Poe himself had passed on the emha Nayélha's tutoring, instead choosing to hone his vigilance up here on the Crest. Every now and again he would use his Lightseeing to watch the city for a few hours until he felt all was at peace. He'd opened up both sides of himself, Mendaihu and Shenaihu nuhm'ndah, to reach out with that gossamer thread and touch the city and listen within. Obviously he could not touch every single spirit that dwelled here, but he could listen to the city. As a profiler, as a reality seer, he listened and dissected and disseminated and pieced together what he could.
From what he sensed, the city knew that a potential Season of Embodiment was upon them, and they were powerless to stop it. They would not run away from it, nor would they fall victim to it. They would stay and fight. They would protect those within the city as much as they could, as Watchers of Earth. As Mendaihu Gharra and Shenaihu nuhm'ndah, as one, in peace.
He felt a presence from behind, followed by the sounds of boot heels against the rocky ground. He turned and saw Kai standing about ten yards away, watching him without saying a word. It had gotten dark up here, and shadows had begun to hide the true shape of the ground underneath him. Now it had almost obscured her face, though he knew it to be her…he recognized her spirit as closely as he knew his own. Sensing his attention, she pushed back a few strands of black hair behind her right ear to reveal a smile. She stepped lightly over the stones and paused, not wanting to venture any further on ground she couldn’t quite see. Poe nodded at the compromise and met her halfway.
He reached out and took her hands, grasping them tight. “I'm surprised to see you up here.” He gave her a peck on the forehead, pushing her hair out of the way again and looking down into her dark eyes. “But I'm glad. I've missed you over the last few days.”
And indeed he had. He had purposely distanced himself from nearly everyone as he completed his Mendaihu training and spent his daily hour or two up here, watching and sensing the city. She had been busy herself, patrolling the streets with her brother Ashan, equally as vigilant. They both had their own responsibilities now. But even so, he couldn’t deny the sense of desolation and loneliness that welled up whenever they parted, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. There was a spiritual connection here that he didn't fully understand, and did not want to question it. Love was not something to be analyzed.
“I've missed you too,” she said, and embraced him. She laid her head upon his chest and sighed. “I only wish we could be together under different circumstances, Alec.”
“Soon enough,” he said, knowing he didn't sound very convincing. “Soon enough…if we can survive the next few weeks, we'll survive anything. I know we can do it.”
He felt Kai's shoulders hitch in a silent laugh. “Wishful thinking,” she said.
“Faith,” he whispered, kissing her forehead.
She laughed again, patting his chest. “You have too much faith, Alix,” she said. “Honestly, I don't know where it comes from.”
“Don't get me wrong, Akaina…I've had enough shit happen to me to turn me into one of the most cynical and angry bastards you'd ever have the displeasure to know. But that's just all surface, reactive stuff. You can thank Ashan for pointing that out to me.”
Kai shifted and looked up at him. Her eyes were looking deep into his, and for a quick moment he felt the instinctual emotional jump and nearly threw up that wall again. But he quashed that feeling as soon as he felt it. He might keep a wall up to keep certain people out and safe from his own imbalances, but he would not put one between himself and Kai.
“What about us, Alec?” she asked.
He cocked his head and returned her gaze. “What about us?”
“This isn't reactive, is it?”
Honestly, he'd never questioned his love for her before. He'd vowed not to, because if he did he knew it would only turn out like all the other relationships he'd had over the years: he'd overanalyze everything, never completely trusting his own heart, and they would tire of it and leave. And he’d r
epeat his mistake every single time. Except this time…this time was different. For the first time in his life, he felt his spirit sing, and that had never happened in the past.
“This is...” he paused, thinking of the right words to say. “This is from the heart,” he said. “This is from the spirit.” She did not have to answer to that; she understood completely. They were happy enough to hold each other in that silence for some time before either one of them next spoke. Eventually, Kai pulled away and guided him to another outcropping of rock and sat down.
“How is it down in the city?” Poe asked after a while.
“It's been quiet,” Kai said. “Too quiet, sometimes. It's becoming harder to get a general sense reading when there's so much tension around. It's almost as if it's part of the Shenaihu plan. Nothing is really happening, yet we all expect something big to happen soon, though we don't know what.”
“A downward spiral,” Poe said. “That's what Councillor Kelley James called it. ‘A spirit out of control and unhindered will only spiral further down into the abyss,' he said.”
Kai smirked. “I've never known you to quote someone before.”
“I've been reading a lot of him lately,” he said. “He makes more sense than people let on. And Caren's still trying to get some time with him, but I don't know if she's going to succeed. He's hard to pin down.”
“Councillor James?” Kai said, glancing at him. “That's because he's up on Tigua right now. You didn't know that?”
Poe frowned deeply. “Tigua!” he exclaimed. “Fine time for him to be up there. Is he part of the ESD shutdown team?”
Kai shook her head and leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees. “Maybe, I don’t know. I doubt it. Or maybe he’s up there for when it gets turned on again.”
“Did they announce it yet?”
“Earlier today,” she said, and turned to face him. “It was on NewsComm 9 just a few hours ago. I'm surprised you didn't hear of it.”
Poe mouthed a curse and shook his head in disgust. “They didn’t give out the truth, did they?”
“No.”
Poe raised an eyebrow. “But...?”
“Well...” Kai sighed, as if knowing she was delaying the inevitable. “NewsComms were calling it an 'overhaul.'“
“For the whole month?” he mumbled.
“Six weeks.”
“They’re damned terrified then,” he growled. “They all are. Phillips, Rieflin, all of them. They’re leaving the ARU blind, dumb and deaf.” He pushed himself up before any more of this aggravation surged within him. He forced himself not to grab a cigarette from his inside coat pocket as he paced along the uneven ground…he'd vowed never to smoke up here in this pristine environment. He hated his cho-nyhndah mood swings, and this was one he wasn't sure he could control. He let out another slow breath of frustration and looked out over the city. It had gotten dark enough for some of the brighter stars to come out over the ocean waters, complementing the dotted threads of streetlights crisscrossing the sprawl below. He felt disgusted and helpless at the same time, and he didn't know what to do about it.
Kai watched him with sympathetic eyes from her perch. “He's leveling the playing field,” she said. “For both sides.”
“The playing fields don’t look all that level to me,” he said with barely held restraint.
“Look at it from their side, Alix,” Kai reminded him. “There are Shenaihu nuhm'ndah that are equally as lost. Not everyone here is cho-nyhndah.”
Poe stopped in his place, suddenly ashamed. She was right, and he’d forgotten so easily. “Nyhnd’aladh, Akaina. I just…”
Kai nodded, and flashed a grin at him. She knew him too well already. “Say it, Poe.”
He waved a hand in the air at how stupid he felt, at how idiotic this situation was. “We’ve all been falling into this downward spiral each and every time, going from reactionary to acceptance to inevitability to defeat. It's like we're pawns. All of us, Mendaihu and Shenaihu alike. And that’s what’s pissing me off.”
“With Denysia and Saisshalé as the key players,” Kai added, and shivered. “This is Denni's game, not ours.”
Poe nodded. “This is what I've been trying to avoid thinking about all this time…but it makes sense. Everything that's happened since the failed Ascension. Saisshalé's attacks and the graffiti. All of us suddenly finding our place in this. Even Matthew's arrest. It is a game, Kai. Too many coincidences lately, you know? Too many for comfort.”
“I know,” Kai said quietly.
“And Farraway getting us all trained and ready for a spiritual war that may or may not happen? He knew something was up back in September, the very first day he threw the four of us on this case! It's damn frustrating, Kai, being used like that.”
“I know,” she repeated.
“Hell...” He wanted to continue but all the fire had gone out of him, leaving him tired and thirsty. He sat back down next to her. He reached out and touched her shoulder, fingers sliding through her long black hair. He caressed the bare skin underneath, sensing the subtle electricity within her spirit as he did so. He moved closer and kissed her on the cheek.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I didn't mean to vent on you just then.”
“It's okay,” Kai said, and smiled at him. “You made a perfectly valid point. Governor Rieflin shouldn't have acted as he did, shutting down the ESD and blocking all the access. He's under the false assumption that if neither team has the advantage...”
“...neither team will cause that much damage,” he said with a shrug. “You have to admit, he makes a good politician.”
Kai laughed. “True enough.”
They continued to sit in silence for a good twenty minutes or so, getting some distance between themselves and this little outburst, and generally enjoying what little time they had left together tonight. Poe would have to leave soon, head back to his apartment and practice his latest Mendaihu lesson before it got too late in the evening. Kai had to return as well, meeting Ashan at ARU Headquarters for a late meeting. Poe, having learned of this earlier, chose not to ask what it was about. He was curious, of course, but knew that it would just cause him more stress if it had anything to do with Dark November. He just didn't want to know until after the fact.
“Hey,” he said, nudging her slightly with his shoulder.
“Hmm?” Kai turned and faced him, brows lifted. She had the makings of a smile on her lips and a gleam in her eyes.
“Sa’im shadha, cho-shadhisi,” he said. He pushed his mouth up into a lopsided grin.
Kai beamed. “I know. Sa’im shadha, cho-shadhisi.” She turned and looked back at the sprawl. He watched her watching the city, smile still on her face, wind picking up and pushing her locks back over her shoulder. She blinked once, twice, at the breeze, but her gaze never wavered. He watched her Watching the city, a hint of pride showing on her face. Pride that she was doing so in the name of the One of All Sacred. Pride that she was working with the Alien Relations Unit on a case which truly meant something to her. Pride that she was doing so with someone she loved dearly.
“Peace, Love and Light to you all,” she whispered, directing the blessing out over the city.
“Peace, Love and Light to you all,” Poe repeated, taking her hand. “Stay safe.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Trust
Caren stared into her coffee mug, absently stirring its contents as she waited for Denni to return. It was getting late, far too late for her to be out in her otherwhere. She’d been gone for close to six hours. She was tempted to throw out that gossamer thread and search for her. Some days she could feel her presence, other days she could not. Those particular days she had to rely more on her trust and her intuition rather than the spirit link they shared. Even now, as she sat at the kitchen table in their apartment, waiting patiently, she found herself hoping for the best and fearing the worst.
Anando had left about an hour ago after escorting her back to the apartment. He understood that she'd r
ather be here upon Denni's arrival, having missed her for most of the day. He could have stayed, at least for a little while, but she knew he had his own responsibilities outside of their relationship. It was just lonely here, without either of her anchors close by.
She did honestly love him, but that nagging question always remained when they were apart...why? Why did she love him so deeply? He was her cho-shadhisi, her soul mate in the most literal sense. They'd been together throughout the ages, in one time and space and universe or another, forever connected by their spirits in Peace, Love and Light. Yet she still found herself questioning its legitimacy. She wanted to love him as herself, not as fate commanded it! Perhaps this was the reason behind their pairing in this life...she had to relearn how to truly love, to truly trust...to truly have faith...
...and it was a daunting task and she didn't have the courage to face it.
“Get home safe, Den,” she said to herself.
The coffee in her cup had grown cold, and it looked as though she would be staying up for a little while longer. She got up, dumped out the old contents into the sink, and poured herself a fresh cup. On the way back to the living room couch she also grabbed a small bowl of fruit. Ever since she'd started her Mendaihu training, she'd made a concerted effort to avoid the snack foods she'd always bought and started eating healthy. She chose an apple and was about to bite into it when she heard a knocking on her door.
“At this time of night?” she mumbled. After a cursory sensing, she got up and unbolted and opened the door. Madeleine Jakes stood just outside the doorway, a wide smile on her face and standing tall and proud, her walking cane looking more like a piece of regal accoutrement than a medical aid.
“Good evening, Madeleine!” Caren said happily. “Come on in! What brings you here so late?”
“Late night chores,” she said and stepped in, hobbling slightly. She was trying not to put too much weight on her prosthetic leg. “I sensed you were up and about, so I thought I'd stop by. Where's Denni?”
