by Jon Chaisson
He said nothing, merely bowing. Then his form was gone and she was back in the brightness of Light. She would meet up with Amna at her lumisha dea, but for now she was going to just stay here, in this beautiful nothingness, in this encompassing energy, in this galaxy of spirit, until she was ready to return. She closed her eyes and felt the waves of love and compassion washing over her, from the countless souls flowing by and around and through her, and she knew from that sensation that she had done the right thing.
“Peace,” she whispered into the Light. “Thank you.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Reasons
Sheila sat in the same exact spot on the seventh floor deck with Nick, only this time she slouched heavily into her chair with her feet propped up on another, thoroughly exhausted. She stared distractedly at the trees across the way, watching the branches sway in the morning breeze. To her left, the sun was rising over the city, peeking around the icy black shadow of the Mirades Tower.
Nick sat off to the side, taking a drag off his cigarette. She never knew him to smoke so much in so little time. He looked gaunt and pale. His eyes were unfocused, his expression blank. Nick was not a spiritual man at all, at least not until recently. Awakening his own Mendaihu spirit and abilities had clearly taken a toll on him. He'd said little when they'd arrived here, and now he was saying nothing at all. She accepted his silence. He only needed the comforting presence of a close friend.
She was facing south for a good reason. If Saisshalé was about to have his own Awakening, she wanted to sense it, see it, and feel its effects on those around her. When she'd warned Nick last night, she had no idea exactly when it was going to happen, just that it would be soon. And all anyone could do now was wait.
“No more dreams,” Nick said quietly.
Sheila turned to him, surprised by his voice and his choice of words. “We've always had dreams, Nick, you know that.”
“No...” he said again, slowly turning his sunken eyes to her. “Dreams, Sheila. Our own prophecies.”
“Those dreams never fade,” she said. “Sometimes you just have to detach yourself from them for a while. See them in a new light when you return.”
That didn't sway him. “Fate's been chosen, Sheila,” he said. “We know what's going to happen. You and I are powerless. This is a war that will come down to two people: Saisshalé and the One of All Sacred. The rest of us are just pawns.”
Sheila shook her head at him. “I refuse to believe that. Even the pawns can influence the outcome.”
“Yes, but would it make a difference?” he said, and let out a heavy sigh as he rubbed at his eyes. “Sorry, I'm just tired. And a little pissed off. There's only so far I can take someone preaching to me, you know? I may be a Sleeper, but I'm not about to perform some sacred duty while the rest of my city gets the shit kicked out of it.”
“Are you plan on being on the front lines?” she glared at him.
“If it comes to that,” he said.
“Good,” she said, a smile slowly crossing her face. “I'll be right next to you.”
The office was just as quiet, even after radio silence had been lifted. Sheila and Nick remained here, certain that Poe and Caren would be arriving soon enough. It was still early, just past seven in the morning, and those two were not due to be in for another hour or so. Nick had chosen to catch a quick catnap on the couch in the lounge just down the hall from their office, and Sheila chose to stay awake, at least until everyone arrived.
She chose to pass the time by making a few calls. She called Christine and left a message, just checking in and making sure everything was okay. She then called Caren, but she couldn’t raise her on the comm.
Poe wasn't answering either, which was very unlike him. He'd answer that thing at any point in the day, whether he’d been sleeping or wide awake. She stopped short of calling Chief Inspector Farraway. There were a few more people she could contact, however. She hadn't heard from Kai and Ashan for a while. She found their number in the roll call file and punched it up. Kai answered.
“Good morning, Kai,” Sheila said. “Didn't wake you, did I?”
“No,” she said quietly. “Ashan's still sleeping, though. I gather you're calling about last night.”
“You gather correctly. Nick and I were down in Nulltech Alley when it happened.”
There was an extended silence on the other end before Kai answered. “Right in the center of everything, then?” she asked.
Sheila frowned. “You could say that. He's down the hall sleeping it off right now. We haven't heard from you for a while now, and we're concerned. Is something going on we should know about?”
Kai had paused again. “We?”
Calm yourself, she thought, and took a breath. “Okay, I've been concerned. With everyone else busy in their appointed roles, people like Nick and I, who are apparently just observers, are bound to notice something. Caren's got her hands full with Denni, Poe is tackling his own demons, and we've even got a few outside people helping us. Which begs the question: what are Kai and Ashan doing?”
Kai sounded hurt by the accusation. “Haven’t you read our reports?”
“They're not telling me anything,” she said. “Just observations of B-Towners in general, which I already know. They don't know why they're suddenly hearing all these new voices, using these new senses they've never used before. It's all observation, Kai. Your reports are just that: observation, nothing else.”
“Are you accusing us?” Kai asked curtly.
“I admit I am not,” she said. “But why are most of the upper ranks here cognizant of something about to go down, and not telling any of us? This is just like before, Kai. We’ve had to piece it all together by ourselves. I get that, though. The only way we’ll understand it is if our spirits experience it. But for Goddess’ sake, what are we supposed to grasp at?”
“We’re holding nothing back, Sheila. I promise you that.”
“No one's accusing you of that,” Sheila said. “We just want to know why we’ve been given these roles to play that none of us are prepared for. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve accepted the role and I’ll do my best. We weren’t chosen by chance, because of Denni. We’re a part of her world, and she trusts us. And I'm quite certain that if you and Ashan are not involved somehow, you at least know something about it.”
“It was out of our hands as soon as Denysia awakened the planet,” Kai answered. “She is whom you should ask, once she gets back. She has gone to talk with Saisshalé, and should be on her way back now. Once she awakened Gharra, she caused a ripple effect. What was once something that happened once a generation in Bridgetown may now happen anywhere and with more frequency.
“You see, the Season of Embodiment is there for a reason. It insures that the balance between the Mendaihu and the Shenaihu remains in place. And for that to happen, certain movements need to take place. The One, the Dahné, the Elders, all the way down to the believers and the acolytes.”
She’d purposely goaded Kai into answering, and this was exactly the answer she’d expected. They didn’t have any answers at all, other than what had been dictated by Elders. Did they truly not know what was going to happen next?
“I can’t believe that, Kai. Nothing is ever set in stone.”
“I am sorry that you doubt me,” she snarled.
“I don’t doubt you at all. I just don’t believe that’s the full story. Not even close. I thought this had something to do with some mystical, spiritual thing that we had to go through, but I was wrong. Sa’im nyhnd’aladh if I offended you, but from now on, Nick and I are not a part of whatever the hell is going on. We'll watch, we'll observe, just like the good Mendaihu that we are, but we're not taking part in any war simply because it’s prophecy. We refuse. We’re here to break this damn cycle once and for all.”
Kai did not respond. Sheila could only guess as to what was going on in her head right now, surprised by her outburst and dismayed by her vow. Sheila felt a bit guilty for speaking for Nick
, but things had gone far enough.
“Are we at an understanding?”
“Yes,” Kai said quietly. There was deep trouble in her voice.
“Good.”
“Thank you,” Kai said, though it clearly lacked conviction, and disconnected.
She dropped the phone down on her desk and rubbed at her eyes, groaning.
Goddess, she needed to sleep! Just a few hours away from this insanity, that’s all she wanted. She pushed herself out of her chair with some exhausted difficulty, and left the office to join Nick in the lounge. He was passed out on one of the three couches in the otherwise empty room, softly snoring away. Quiet, calming music wafted down from the ceiling speakers, music deliberately engineered to enhance a relaxed atmosphere. She was too irritated to rest, however, and too wound up. She tumbled onto the adjacent couch and lay on her side, looking over at her partner. She had grown to care deeply about him, as ARU partners should, as the close-knit family that they were.
“Hey,” she said quietly. “Nick. You awake?”
“Hmmm,” he mumbled. “…time is it?”
“Quarter to eight,” she said. “Poe and Caren should be here soon.”
“Hmmm,” he said. “Wake me.”
“Okay,” she said, holding back tears.
“Why do you not know where they are?” Farraway barked from behind his desk, glaring at them. “It's nearing ten o'clock and neither Johnson nor Poe have logged in. Now is not the time for them to disappear.”
“Believe me, I have tried, sir!” Sheila snapped back. “I’ve called everyone, multiple times. No one has seen them. I’m as concerned as you are.”
Farraway leaned forward and was about to say something when he stopped himself and turned away in disgust. “I'm sorry the two of you ended up in South City last night. We’re all short tempered today, between the ESD being shut down and Saisshalé pulling his stunt. Losing Poe and Johnson right now is last thing we need. I apologize for raising my voice.”
“Accepted, sir,” Sheila said.
“One more thing: I want Team Two to head down to the Moulding Warehouse. The earlier the better. Something’s going on there this morning, after what happened last night.”
“You want us to spy again?”
Farraway frowned deeply at her. “You're treading thin, Kennedy,” he said slowly. “No ulterior motives here, I promise you. I just want you to keep me updated. I want you to report back with anything you hear, observe, or sense, you got me? We may be unplugged right now, but that doesn't mean we're closed down. Any kind of uprising, anything even remotely like St. Patrick's, and I want you to get the hell out of there, understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Anything else? Slater? You've been quiet so far. Anything to add?”
“No, sir,” he said, forcing back a yawn. “If you could keep us informed if Caren or Alec come in at any point?”
Farraway nodded. “Of course, Slater. The minute they step in the door.”
“What the hell was that about?” Nick said as soon as they'd left Farraway's outer office. “You trying to get written up?”
She shook her head and kept her eyes forward as they headed back to their office. “I don't want to hear it,” she grumbled. “Farraway's in on it. I'm not sure how, but I can sense it just the same.”
Nick frowned at her. “Hefty charge.”
“I know.”
“We're still going to the Warehouse?”
“Yeah.”
They returned to the office to prepare themselves for the day’s assignment, and busied themselves with running safety checks on their weapons. Sheila dreaded heading back to that place after what happened to her during the failed Ascension. All those people down there knew her, and she knew all of them. It felt like a lack of privacy, a lack of being grounded by her own psyche. She wasn’t in full control of herself down there.
“Maybe we should skip the uniforms, go civilian,” Nick suggested.
“I like that idea. Less intimidation.”
Nick frowned at her. “We're observing, not infiltrating.”
“It certainly seems like it,” she said.
“Hey, if you don't want to go...”
“I'll go,” she said with a little more force than necessary. “Forget I said anything.”
“Just that you may want to dial back the irritation. You walk in with that mood, and guaranteed, they'll be all over you.”
“I said forget it!”
He said no more, but she did notice a sly grin crossing his face as he turned away. Somehow, that one smile made her feel better.
They were met at the front entryway to the warehouse by Anando Shalei himself. He’d sensed their approach and ensured a quiet, low profile entry. Most of the dock bay doors were open wide to let fresh air into the building, and from outside Sheila could see the makeshift multi-story shantytown they'd created in the racking. Bustling energy spilled out into the streets, the hectic preparations of a war that may or may not come. The energy was decidedly optimistic either way. Sheila quickly threw up a protective wall around her spirit. She could not let herself be affected by it, not now.
“I'm happy you made it,” Anando said. “I was wondering when the two of you would join us.”
“Don't get your hopes up,” she said. She didn't want to speak so harshly, but she had little choice. “We're here to observe and check in at HQ.”
“I understand,” he said without missing a beat. “Please, make yourselves comfortable. We've got vending down at the far end if you need anything.”
“We're okay for now. However, I was going to ask if you've seen Caren yet today. We've been trying to get a hold of her— ”
“Oh!” Anando beamed. “She arrived here about two hours ago with Denni. Shall I call her for you?”
She gaped at him. “She’s been here all morning?” Despite her better judgment she tossed out a meager thread of energy to sense those in the immediate area...and recoiled it just as quickly, as soon as she’d felt it. She could still feel the blissful optimism that saturated the place just weeks ago, keeping the mood light and friendly; that hadn’t gone away at all. No, it was what she felt underneath that bothered her. She couldn’t quite place a name on it, but she recognized it just the same — a nearly blind dedication to the One of All Sacred.
This was an extremely dangerous moment in time.
“Yes...” she said, her voice uneven. “Yes, Anando. Please, get her for us.”
He nodded and disappeared into the crowd. Unobtrusively she followed his spirit, an unmistakable aura stronger and unique among all the others here, as he weaved in and out of people, took corners, headed down the third rack lane from them, and stopped after five bays. She felt him climb up, faster than anyone could possibly climb on a rickety wooden ladder, and stop the fourth bay up.
Moments later there was a very personal wave of energy she had no reason to be sensing.
“She's here,” she said, exhaling.
Nick moved to her side and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I know,” he said. “I can feel her as well. She's gotten stronger. You okay?”
She shivered and turned to him. “Fine as I'll ever be. I just...”
“It doesn't feel right,” he said. “Does it?”
“No. It doesn't.”
Nick hummed in agreement. “We'll see, then.”
Moments later she sensed then saw Caren approaching them, Denni and Amna in tow. She breathed a sigh of relief and masked the apprehension she felt. Now was not the time and place to show it. Caren caught sight of them and flashed a wide smile. “Hey there!” she said brightly. “I was wondering when you'd come!”
Denni burst ahead and ran to give her a big hug. “It’s so good to see you!” she squealed.
Goddess... Sheila thought. What is happening here? Denni did not squeal. Nor was Caren ever this jovial. “Uh...good to see you too, kiddo,” she said, placing an awkward arm around the girl. “Listen...I need to talk to your sister for
a bit. Boring work stuff.”
Anando caught on quickly and took Denni's hand. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s do our rounds, Dearest.”
Denni nodded happily and fell in step with Anando, Amna quietly walking behind. Sheila watched them walk away, and felt a shudder crawl down her spine. This optimism felt so forced, so unnatural. She turned back to Caren, only to see the same giddy happiness that was so unlike her.
“Something's wrong,” she muttered. “Poe is missing, you don't make it in and forget to call...what's happening here?”
“Preparations,” Caren said.
She winced at the word. “And you're happy about this?”
“This isn’t happiness, Sheila, it’s —”
“It’s misguided zealotry is what it is,” Sheila grumbled. “You truly know what you’re doing here? I mean, truthfully, in your spirit? Will the Mendaihu win this stupid fucking war that we shouldn't be having in the first place? What's got into you, Caren? I know you too well, you’re not one to have a fesh piann. This whole damn situation is dangerous, and now is not the time to lose focus.”
“I have faith,” she said, a bit forcefully but losing none of the cordiality.
“And what if Denni hadn't been the One?” she asked.
Caren faltered, but only for a second. “I'd...eventually follow,” she said.
“Don't you lie,” Sheila warned. “Not here.”
“I'm not,” she said. “I'm being honest here. I have to do this. I'm an integral part, just as you and Nick are.”
Nick moved in, too close. “Don't bring us into it,” he said, his anger barely restrained.
“But...”
Nick shook his head at her. “No. Please, don't.”
“It's not that I don't trust you...” Sheila said. “It's the situation I don't trust. Denni’s back and she’s strong. Damn scary strong, and a hell of a lot more knowledgeable than anyone ever expected. And you’re along for the ride, sehnadha. I can't say I blame you, and if it wasn't for the fact that I can't sense all this action as strongly as you do, I'd probably be right there next to you. But this...” She shook her hands at her, frowning. “This is not you. I swear, in any other situation, you'd be the last person to jump on the bandwagon…”
