by Jon Chaisson
“I'm feeling optimistic,” he said over his shoulder to the priest.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Cognizance
There is much more to this equation, Crittiqila Nayélha said from within. It is more than just equalities.
Her voice sang within Poe's spirit and resonated deeply and pleasurably within it, causing his heart to race. In his new kiralla form, all of his senses were heightened, his focus keener, his mind sharper. It was an ultimate form of his soul that he’d suspected was there, but until now he had never chosen to acknowledge it. Now, with Crittiqila as his sehndayen-ne, he could ignore it no longer. Every now and again their eyes met while they spoke, but for the most part they avoided eye contact, their gaze landing on different parts of the floor. It was a kiralla instinct of having a constantly moving focal point to remain fully aware of their surroundings.
“You're talking about dehndarra Né hra nyhndah, aren't you?” he said aloud, preferring to speak with words rather than thought. He listened to the tones of his new voice, lowered nearly an octave and reverberating off the stone walls. It was a voice that commanded attention and respect.
Yes, she said from within.
“What is going on, Elder Nayélha?” he asked. “This is not the same as the other Seasons of Embodiment, is it?”
That phrase is not only used to describe our connection with the One of All Sacred, Alix. Crittiqila shifted her talons, scraping them quietly against the floor in a random pattern as she spoke. It is the interweave of everyone we know and everything we see and everything we are. It is the God Answer, the Eternal Truth, the ultimate Anjshé, the Word of the One. The reason for our existence.
“To exist among each other?” he asked. He shifted in his own position, reaching out with his long, muscular, scaly limbs to stretch the kinks out of his back. He had adjusted to this new dragonlike kiralla body surprisingly quick+, and in fact had begun to enjoy it. He liked the dusky brown color of the scale, the slight discolorations and patterns in the pads of his front and hind paws, the charcoal black of his talons. Vanity hit him for a moment, deeply curious to see what he looked like. Knowing he was distracting himself on purpose, he cleared his throat and settled back down on his elbows, crossing paws and lifting his snout towards her. “Is that the ultimate reason? That we are here simply to exist among ourselves? What is the point of that?”
An oft-asked question with an oft-misunderstood answer, she said. If we were to 'simply exist among ourselves,' as you put it, the lives on this planet would have died a long time ago. As it is, we found Gharra to be fertile, not only in soil, air and water but also in spirit. The Rain of Light contains the indigenous people of Gharra. Did you know that as well? They are the originators here. They welcomed the Trisandi to their homeworld in the same manner that we hear today when we bless someone: 'peace, love and light.'
He frowned and huffed air out of his nostrils, unintended reactions to her words. “The Rain of Light is the original form of life? Then that would mean that their actions during the Cleansing and Ascension rituals were genuine!”
Crittiqila huffed in amusement, bobbing her snout. I think we need to back up a bit more if we want the complete answer, Alix. Then we will know what will happen in the future.
Poe nodded. “Okay...but one question: is it the same with every Season? Is this how it always pans out?”
Crittiqila nodded. Aside from the change in players and the time it takes to play itself out, yes, it is more or less the same process.
He let the events play out in his memory. “It began in September, when Nehalé Usarai started the mass Awakening ritual. In the process he affected the Rain of Light. He must have wanted to, since its confluence is at the Mirades Tower. With a ritual of that magnitude, he must have wanted the Rain to become aware of what was going on. He awakened all those spirits, including the One of All Sacred’s, and connected the Rain with them. The result was a dispersion of Rain souls into many of those awakened, making them cho-nyhndah. This merging released excess spiritual energy...the dark reddish cloud we were originally sent to investigate.”
Awakening, Crittiqila said, flashing her back teeth in what must have been a smirk. The First Cognizance.
“Nehalé knew the One of All Sacred had been awakened, as did many others directly affected, including Dylan Farraway. He called Karinna and I personally to investigate the ritual. He also called in two Mendaihu, Akaina and Ashyntoya Shalei, to help in the investigation. They weren’t sent to assist us. They were sent here to watch us. Karinna, Denysia and myself. They nudged us closer to our fates, all the while making sure that we didn't stray from the path or fall into harm’s way. We needed to awaken further and sooner than the others, so we’d understand what we had to do.”
The Second Cognizance, Crittiqila said. The discovery of knowledge.
“Now that so many were awakened, the Rain of Light began to gather its knowledge of everyone affected. A sort of sehna lumia of its own, I suppose. And it began to gather itself, mostly around the Tower. Concurrently, the Shenaihu responded to Nehalé's ritual with their own, the hrrah-sehdhyn. They chose an old five-point attack, just like they always did back when they were spacefarers.
“Saisshalé had been summoned at that time, though I'm sure he hadn't made any moves yet. And if he did, they were inconsequential.
“The Rain grew agitated from all these spiritual changes happening at once. It knew that both sides were just going to react off each other rather than work with each other. They had to learn from that mistake. And that was when the Rain began gathering energy over the city, slowly turning into a storm.”
The Third Cognizance, Crittiqila said. The Soul's interaction with the Other.
“So...” Poe began tapping his claw on the floor again, working everything out in a linear fashion rather than the jumbled mess he was used to. He found it surprisingly easier in this kiralla form. “Nehalé's followers sensed this storm coming, and gathered at the warehouse. They were gathering for protection, otherwise the Shenaihu and the cho-nyhndah would not have been welcome. They were gathering to make sure that the Rain of Light did not destroy everything. They knew that someone would harness it and bring it back, disperse it among everyone.
“But that was the first major diversion from the past: it was Denysia who fulfilled that role, not Nehalé or someone else. The One had never performed that ritual in the past. The Rain would disperse among everyone and give each person their eventual fate. And Christine and I walked straight into that one, when we used the Benjamin's Key to ground it. The hrrah-sehdhyn attacks served a dual purpose; the Shenaihu knew the Rain's fury had to be contained. It was used as a barrier to keep it confined to a specific area rather than the entire city. And once the Rain dispersed, people's fates were cast. Including mine.”
The Fourth and Final Cognizance, she said. The Soul finds its Divine Purpose and acts.
“It was then that the One of All Sacred was supposed to Ascend.”
And here the paths diverge further, she said.
“The Dahné Shenaihu nuhm'ndah summoned Saisshalé in order to keep that from occurring. He still believes this is just a fight between spiritual extremes, a game of balances. This puts everything in a whole new perspective: the One has not Ascended, leaving her with only the powers granted to her through the Goddess, to be used on Gharra. She cannot access the previous Dearest except through her sehna lumia. But this problem gives her a unique perspective: she's able to see and understand what is happening both as the One and as Denysia.
“Backing up a little bit: Denysia must have understood Nehalé’s plan by this time, to have her awaken the entire world and not just Bridgetown. She must have had some reservations. After the failed Ascension, though? She must have realized it was worth pursuing, via an alternate route. She accepted this, and managed to connect even more spirits into the realm of the Goddess, both Mendaihu and Shenaihu alike. More and more, cities are becoming 'enlightened' to the Divine.”
The First Divine Act, she said. The shepherd gathers its flock.
Poe snorted in amusement. “Interesting choice of words, coming from a kiralla.”
The meaning is the same, Alix, she said with equal humor. Regardless of belief.
“One thing is dogging me, however. Does this mean that Saisshalé is gathering his own flock, now that he's taken spiritual control of the Shenaihu?”
Perhaps, she said. That is inevitability, and is not your concern. Your focus should be on yourself, Alix.
Poe reared back his muzzle in confusion. “Why? It's the fate of Gharra I'm talking about!”
So you were...but did you not notice the subtext? Did you not notice that you have followed the Four Cognizances and ascended yourself? You are kiralla now! You knew you had a Divine Purpose when Denysia awakened, and that purpose is to protect her with your life. But you knew there was more to it than that, didn't you? Once you discovered you had a cho-nyhndah spirit, you felt it. You could touch it, this kiralla state of being, but you didn't know what it was.
“So how am I to fulfill my so-called Divine Purpose, if I focus only on myself?”
Faith, Alix. Faith. You've said it yourself, time and time again. 'I have faith.' Have faith in your kiralla soul, Alix. Trust it. Care for it. Show yourself that you understand and accept who you are. It is a pity that most Gharné cannot or will not do either, but you are blessed. You have fully lifted your veil, enough that it can be torn away. All you need do is make the choice.
Poe dropped his jaw slightly. “Are you asking me to become an Elder?”
Crittiqila bobbed her muzzle. The choice is yours, Alix.
He thought about this for several minutes. It made an inevitable, horrific sense to him, to become a spiritual leader of such magnitude. He was the least spiritual person he knew. “If it means I retain all the aspects of my life...” he began slowly. “If it means I retain my responsibilities as an ARU agent. I retain the connection with my adoptive family. I retain the love I have for Akaina Shalei.” He ducked low, hiding a shudder. “If it means I retain my Divine Purpose in protecting Denysia, and nothing changes unless I will it...then let it be done.”
Faith, dear eicho, Crittiqila said, baring her fangs in a startling smile. Faith.
She reached out a taloned paw and laid it over his. He felt the shudder of electricity flowing between them. The sensation of a soul's energy entering his own and swirling and mixing into a new and fragile being. His own soul, becoming all that it can possibly become: a kiralla, an Elder. A galaxy of spirit. He felt, for that brief moment, a familiarity, as if he'd gone through this before, in his dreams or in another time...
Faith, he said from within.
Then all was brilliant, searing white Light.
And so it begins, he heard the man say. Welcome, Alix Eiyashné, sa'im somfei!
“Wh-who...” Poe muttered as he opened his eyes to the blinding light in front of him. He barely made out the shadow of a tall, older man walking towards him. He blinked and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms. Where was he? He looked up at the man again. The white light dissipated nearly all at once, pushing away the clouds of low-lying fog and revealing a park somewhere in the Sprawl. He could hear the slow hum of traffic on a nearby thoroughfare, and after a cursory scan of the park, he found the Mirades Tower peeking out over the tree line to the northeast.
The man was wearing an Elder uniform.
“We're in Swope Heights,” Poe said, absently bringing up his hand to push hair out of his eyes. To his surprise, he saw a human hand inches from his own face, and a brown duster sleeve covering part of his wrist. He’d gotten so used to his kiralla form that seeing himself as human again came as a shock. He cleared his throat and looked around again. “I’m back.”
“And in one piece, I see,” the man said. “You are most definitely back in Bridgetown. I'm afraid that your section of McCleever Sector is a bit too congested for us to reappear. Weaver Park was the least populated, and also provided you with a more relaxing transition from Trisanda back to Gharra.”
“Not too far from the river, then,” Poe said, still blinking from the early afternoon sun shining down on them. “We're just a few blocks from the Jamison Avenue Tunnel.”
“That is correct, edha Eiyashné,” the man said. “This park is the closest to our enclaves across the river. You are always welcome there, eicho.”
He rubbed at his sore eyes and laughed quietly. He realized he hadn't slept since...since last night? How long had he been on Trisanda? How was it that he could firmly believe that he had even been on Trisanda for the last few hours? He didn't even know who this man was, and had even less reason to believe anything he said, yet he knew him to be trustworthy and a kiralla. His own spirit had told his consciousness that.
And he was now an Elder himself.
“Goddess,” he exhaled. “Been one hell of an evening.” He cleared his throat again and felt the nagging urge to light up a cigarette. He decided he'd light up after this man left, or at least until after he could think straight again. “I'm sure I'll make it over to the compound at one point or another, but right now I have more important things to do. I have to find my partner. I have to find Christine. Hells, I have to find Kai!” He adjusted the lapels to his duster, and chanced a look down. He was in fact wearing the black bodysuit, the kind all the Elders wore, with calf-high leather boots that were snug and surprisingly comfortable. He burst out laughing, shaking his head. It was all so ridiculous and impossible! And yet, here he was…ascended, beyond anyone’s expectations including his own.
“One thing at a time,” the man grinned. “You don't need to do everything at once. One person at a time. I believe Karinna should be first. She's at the Moulding Warehouse.”
Poe cocked his head at him. “The Warehouse? Odd place for her to be.”
“She's been there since early this morning. Shall we?”
Poe smirked. “Lead on,” he said, waving his hands at the space in front of them.
“Certainly,” the man said, and touched Poe's hand. He heard a high-pitched pop and they were in Light again...
...only to reenter the normal world three seconds later on Holgate Street, a few blocks from the Warehouse. He realized he was standing at the other end of the block from Christine's building, and contemplated going in to say hello. But time was of the essence now. He'd have to talk to her later. He turned and started for the warehouse.
He could sense the heavy spiritual presence even from this distance. He felt the excitement of community and the fear of imminent attack; he felt the love of others and the wariness of the Dahné Shenaihu nuhm'ndah and of Saisshalé. He could easily pinpoint the four thousand or so people crowding the floors and the racks and the pavement outside, identify each one, and match the spirit with the person as soon as he arrived.
The one spirit he was looking for was in a dormant spot, high up on racking, relaxing. She was taking a much-needed, well deserved rest from everything. Eventually she'd recognize him as soon as he entered, and they'd finally be a team again. Only this time he'd be an Elder and she'd be the Mendaihu's strongest soldier. As unnerving as that sounded in his head, there was an element of safety to it that he could understand.
Alix, he heard. It was the man speaking from within. I cannot go to the warehouse yet. I cannot explain why; all I can say is that you must join Karinna and Denysia as soon as possible, before it is too late.
He turned to the man and frowned. “I don't understand,” he said.
Faith, the man said. That's all you need to know right now. Peace, Love and Light to you, Alix Eiyashné. The man bowed and turned to leave. He took a few steps, stopped, and turned around. He smiled at Poe and bowed again. I do apologize, Alix, but I have my reasons. I also apologize for not introducing myself, but you already know me by spirit, from quite a long time ago. My name is Sidhaki Emmadha in this frame of time. You may also know me as Reverend Edward Miriam.
“Miriam!” Poe yelped.
He hadn't even recognized him! As edha Emmadha he looked much younger than his file picture, which had him in his late sixties.
“Alec,” he said with a grin. “I'm sorry but I must leave. But if ever you need help, do not hesitate to look for me.”
“I won't,” Poe said. “Thanks. Peace, Love and Light to you as well.”
“Taftika, eicho,” he said, and turned back again. He walked perhaps ten feet when the air around him picked up. Poe felt a shiver of energy push his way. Poe shielded his eyes, but through his fingers he saw the tendrils of light as Miriam stepped out of this reality and into Light. The flash died just as quickly, leaving just a delayed snapping sound.
And not a foot from where Miriam had just stood, he saw freshly applied smartpaint, saying the words here lies fate.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Vigil
“Do you feel that?” Saone said. “Feels like...”
Kryssyna shivered. “Shenaihu close by,” she said. “Up on the hill.”
Saone felt the presence of the nuhm'ndah approaching. To another Shenaihu, they registered in the spirit's consciousness as familial to the point of claustrophobic. Just like the Mendaihu, the Shenaihu were wired never to forget the connection among themselves, no matter what the situation. There was no way and nowhere to hide; they were already aware of their presence in Branden Hill Park. Overly curious about their reasons for being there.
She leaned against the brick wall of the subway entry, looking up the hill at the tall and narrow micromansions lining the park perimeter and pursing her lips as she debated their next move. The nuhm’ndah were shifting back and forth, closer then farther away. She never knew a Shenaihu to purposely shift like that, not without reason. They were moving from high street to the southern park border then two streets north to Yorke, then back again, all within the span of a few seconds. She didn’t trust their movement at all and told Kryssyna so.
