He watched in amazement as Abby happily did as she was asked. He’d deliberately not asked much of her, believing she needed the freedom to adjust, but maybe leaving her to do as she pleased wasn’t the best way either. His mood sagged. He should know that. He was her father. But this young teacher was far more adept at caring for his child than he was.
Julie fit easily into their life. In the past few days he’d looked forward to seeing her when he came home, even if it was only a brief encounter. She was always smiling and upbeat. No wonder Abby adored her. She would be an easy woman to love. Julie turned and caught him staring.
“Is something wrong?”
He cleared his throat and shut down his wayward thoughts. “No. I could never get her to help with anything. She always sulked and went to her room.”
Julie smiled, flashing her lone dimple. “I didn’t give her a choice. We all have to pitch in. I think she enjoys it now.”
He got the hint. That’s the way it had been in his family. Everyone did his or her part. No options available. But none of them had been through what Abby had. He didn’t want to do anything to upset her or cause more distress.
Seated at the table, Gil let the peaceful feeling seep through him. Julie did most of the talking, telling him what she and Abby had done in the afternoon, how Abby had won the most games of Sorry and some of the funny things her online students wrote in their papers.
“When are we going to get my puppy?”
He’d been enjoying the meal so much he’d forgotten about the weekend plans. “Saturday morning. Your uncle Linc and I are taking you and Evan to the shelter in Sawyer’s Bend so you can pick out your pets.” The big smile and bright eyes on his child’s face stole his breath. If only he could make her this happy every second of her life.
Julie chuckled softly. “Have you thought about a name for your dog?”
“Not yet. But I’ll know after I pick it out.”
After cleaning up the kitchen, Julie sent Abby upstairs to get ready for bed.
Gil called after her as she left the room. “I’ll be up to tuck you in, sweet pea.”
“I want Julie to do it,” Abby said.
All the blood drained from his face. Of course she did. “Good night, then. Sleep tight.”
He glanced over at Julie. The tenderness in her eyes drew him. “No Father-of-the-Year awards for me.”
“Be patient. It’ll take time. She’s gotten used to me, and she hasn’t seen much of you this week.”
His defenses kicked in. “I couldn’t help it. Our business is on life support right now. We would have lost the company if my brother hadn’t stepped in. I need to be there.”
“That wasn’t a reprimand. I’m just pointing out she’s spent more time with me, that’s all. But I have a suggestion.” She pulled a sheet of paper from the counter. “Your church is holding a father-daughter dinner soon. You could take Abby. It would be a special outing for you both. I think she’d like that.”
Gil studied the paper. What would they talk about over dinner? “I’m not so sure, but I’ll think about it.” He could tell she wasn’t pleased with his response, but he had more important things on his mind.
She tilted her head, a half smile causing her dimple to briefly appear. “How did the meeting with Mrs. Taylor go?”
He rubbed his temple. Another sore spot. It had been a lousy day—except for coming home and hearing Abby’s laughter. “She seems to think I should force Abby to participate in school and make friends.”
“Is that really what she said? I’m a teacher, and we only send notes like the one she sent when we have concerns for the student’s well-being.”
“How can she know what’s best for Abby after only a few weeks?”
“Experience.”
“Seems to me she’s just putting more pressure on her.” Gil glanced up when Abby called for Julie from upstairs.
“I’ll be right back. But you should go and say good-night, too. Later.”
“She doesn’t want me.” Julie caught him off guard when she rested her small hand on his arm. The warmth of her touch soothed his disappointment.
“Go anyway.”
Gil retreated to the office, hoping to sort through his emotional turmoil. In a short span of time he’d gone from irritation to joy to hurt. He’d never anticipated the hostility and rejection from his daughter. Or that she would latch on to a stranger. Clearly Julie had an ability with children he lacked. Yet every inroad she made left him feeling resentful. He needed advice. Direction. Things his parents had always provided, but Dad was gone and Mom was out of the country. He glanced at the clock. Not a good time to call his mother. Not a good time for much of anything.
* * *
Julie tucked Abby in and said good-night, telling her that her father would be up to see her soon, gently reminding her how much he loved her. The kitchen was empty when she returned, so she went in search of her employer and found him in the office off the family room. She’d never been inside. The door was usually closed, but not this evening. The room was predictably masculine with a dark wooden desk and brown leather chair. There was a drafting board set to one side, where a round container held rolls of blueprints.
But it was Gil who drew her attention. He stood in front of the fireplace, his hands clutching the mantel edge as he stared into the firebox. The dejected slope of his broad shoulders said it all. Abby had hurt him deeply with her comments. Her heart went out to him. He wanted desperately to connect with his child, but he was floundering.
“Abby is all tucked in. I told her you’d be up to say good-night later.”
Gil straightened and faced her, shoving his hands into his pockets. He pressed his lips together. “She doesn’t want to see me.”
Julie’s heart ached. She didn’t know whom she wanted to comfort more, Abby or her dad. “That’s not true. She does, she’s just confused and uncertain. If you don’t mind me asking, is there more going on with Abby than losing her mother?”
He stared at the floor a long moment before answering. When he met her gaze again, she saw sparks of anger flash in his blue eyes. “Remember when you asked me why I didn’t see Abby after the divorce? It’s because my wife lied to me.”
Julie’s conscience pricked.
“She was bipolar, but she never bothered to share that fact with me and I was too blind to put it all together. I didn’t find out about her illness until a year after the divorce. I found her meds and confronted her. She accused me of spying on her. That’s when I started trying to regain custody of Abby. I didn’t know anything about bipolar disorder. There’d been nothing like that in my family. Do you have any idea how it affects people?”
“I do. My close friend’s mother is bipolar.”
“Then you know the damage it can do to children.”
Wrapping her arms around her middle, she tried to fend off the images of what little Abby might have endured and keep her focus on Gil. “I do.”
“I started custody proceedings, but that only made Leah angrier. That’s when she and her sister started their campaign to discredit me. Every time I showed up in Mobile to visit Abby for the weekend, there was some new hoop to jump through or some event that had come up that demanded Abby stay with them. One time I’d gotten as far as Hattiesburg when the police stopped me and said I had no right to take Abby across state lines.”
Julie moved closer. “Oh, Gil, I’m so sorry. That must have been horrible for you.”
He ran a hand along his jaw. “I can only guess what they told Abby about me. She probably thinks I’m some kind of monster.”
“I don’t think she does. But you will have to work harder to show her how much you love her. Find out what movies she likes to watch. Read to her each night. Tell her about yourself, and share the memories you have from when she was a baby. And
don’t let her retreat to her room so much.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Has Abby been to see a psychologist about her grief?”
“Yes. And he said she’s shy and she’ll come out of it when she’s ready, and not to push her.”
“I don’t agree.”
Gil narrowed his gaze. “What makes you an expert? Do you have children?”
Julie blanched. “No. But I do have a degree in child psychology and years of experience with children.”
“But that doesn’t give you the right to...”
His cell ringtone intruded. He pulled it from his pocket and stepped away. When he faced her again, she could see the deep concern in his eyes and the hard set of his jaw.
“Is everything all right?”
“No. More bad news. We lost a bid we were counting on.”
“Sorry.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Forget what I said earlier. I appreciate all you’ve done. I just want to make her laugh the way you did. How did you do that?”
The pleading in his eyes drew her closer. She looked up at him, her gaze skimming the faint stubble appearing on his face and the small scar beneath his lower lip. She wondered where he’d gotten it. “Time together. We talk on the way to and from school. We are together each afternoon until you come home. She’s gotten comfortable with me.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“And you’re making it much too hard.”
She rested her hand on his forearm, sending a charge through her system that fired every nerve ending to life. She pulled her hand away. Something about Gil compelled her to draw closer, to know him better. That was something she couldn’t afford. Especially after learning his wife lied to him. “Relax, Gil. Love her. That’s all that matters. It’s late. I need to go.”
He followed her to the door. She looked up at him, resisting the impulse to reach up and caress his cheek to ease his worry. “Go up and say good-night to your daughter. She’s expecting you.”
Julie fought tears all the way home. She cried for Gil, who was longing for his child’s love, for Abby and the chaotic life she must have lived with her mother and for herself, for bringing another lie into the Montgomerys’ life. What a mess this was. Thankfully, tomorrow was her last day. She’d have to pray that Gil’s mother could guide the pair to a new relationship. But in her heart, she knew she was the only one who could do that. She had a bond with Abby neither of them had.
Biology.
* * *
Julie waved goodbye to Abby, then pulled away from the school, unable to shake the shroud of sadness dampening her spirits. Today was her last day as nanny, and she was determined to embrace every moment, imprint each second in her heart and mind. They’d have to last for the rest of her life. But how would she ever find the strength to walk away from sweet Abby?
Stepping into the Montgomery kitchen a short while later, she allowed her gaze to travel around the room. Memories flowed through her. How had she become so entangled in such a short amount of time? Her lungs squeezed painfully in her chest. She wasn’t ready to walk away from Abby. Or Gil. He was a good man who loved his daughter dearly. She’d found several books around the house on parenting, which told her he was committed to helping his child. But he was afraid of making mistakes and instead was too lenient.
Opening her laptop, she attempted to work, but her mind kept drifting into dangerous territory. What would her life have been like if she’d chosen to keep her little girl? In her fantasies she saw herself nobly carrying on, working, going to school, all the while toting a baby on her hip. But the ugly truth slapped her in the face. Welfare. Food stamps. A one-room apartment. Shift work at a fast-food place or a quick-stop. A little girl with no hope. No toys. No future.
Turning on her cell phone, she opened it to her pictures. She’d taken as many of her little girl as she could and several of her father. She scrolled through them to the one she’d caught of him looking lovingly at his daughter. The tenderness in his cobalt eyes, the slight smile on his mouth, had lodged in her heart. She had many regrets about leaving, but one of the biggest was that she’d never seen Gil smile. She wanted to see him happy. She suspected Gil’s smile would be a heart-stopping sight.
With a low groan, she closed the app. She was only making things worse. By the time she went to pick up Abby, her nerves were frayed and a lead weight lay in the pit of her stomach. She was determined to ignore the physical distress and have as much quality time with Abby as she could squeeze in to these last few hours.
She was preparing a small snack of apple slices when Abby came to her side to watch. “Almost ready. Do you want to sit at the table or in the family room?”
“Miss Julie, I like you.”
Julie’s heart melted, tears stung the backs of her eyes. Unable to stop herself, she pulled the child into her arms and held her close. “Oh, Abby, I like you, too.” It was the first time she’d hugged her, and now she didn’t think she could ever let her go. But she’s not my child. Julie ended the embrace and stepped back.
Tears welled up in Abby’s eyes. “I wish you could stay longer.”
“I do, too, but your dad only needed my help for a few days. Your grandma should be back soon to take care of you. You’ll like that.”
“I guess.”
She hugged her close. “I couldn’t stay much longer anyway. Remember, I told you I’m moving to France soon to teach in a school.” After learning how Abby felt everyone in her life went away, Julie had explained about her job overseas. Abby hadn’t made a fuss. But that was when they were still getting to know one another. She hoped her departure now wouldn’t be too upsetting.
Julie tried to keep the mood light the rest of the day, but Abby grew more and more quiet after dinner, which only increased her own guilt. Five days with her daughter had given her the reassurance she’d craved, but the interaction may have had the opposite effect on Abby. It was good that her assignment was over today.
Gil had worked late again, so they’d eaten without him. Abby retreated to her room immediately after. Julie had tried to coax her into watching a movie, but she’d refused.
Julie met him at the back door when he got home. Her expression must have revealed her tension because he searched her face, a frown drawing his dark brows together. “I saved you some supper. It’s in the oven.”
“Thanks.” He glanced around the kitchen. “Where’s Abby?”
“She’s in her room. She’s not happy about me leaving.”
Gil shrugged out of his sport coat and rubbed his bottom lip. “Yeah, I want to talk to you about that. Something has come up. Mom is staying in London longer than she expected. At least four more weeks, so I’m going to need help with Abby. I’d like you to stay on.”
Her mind balked at the idea. Four weeks? Impossible. She’d be a fool to risk exposure, not to mention the threat to her own mental stability with such a long-term stay. Dread pooled in the center of her chest. And what was she going to do now?
She couldn’t do this. If she was having trouble leaving her child after five days, how could she ever let her go after a month? But what if, by staying those extra weeks, she could unite father and daughter the way they were supposed to be? Then she could leave for Paris without any regrets or doubts.
She turned away, unable to look at the hope in Gil’s eyes. No. It was out of the question. It was completely wrong. Fighting the urge to grab her belongings and run from the house, she struggled to remain calm. This was her chance to back out. She’d found what she’d come for. Abby would be happy in time. Gil would see to it. She met his eyes and opened her mouth. “Of course. I’d be happy to stay on.”
Relief was clearly written on his face, and the corner of his mouth lifted. “Which brings up something else I’ve been meaning to discuss. I’d like you to consider moving into the apartmen
t above the garage. That way you’ll be available to watch Abby on short notice.”
“I don’t know.”
“I mentioned our business is facing some problems. The truth is we’re struggling to survive. There are a few out-of-town projects that I might have to check on, which would require an overnight stay. Linc usually handles that part of a job, but he’s planning his wedding and I need to carry my share of the load. He’s been doing it for too long.”
Julie clasped her fingers together. It was logical, practical and dangerous. She’d never anticipated this. But the opportunity to have more time with her little girl—and with Gil—was too tempting to pass up. “I suppose that would be more convenient for all of us.”
“Good. You can move in tomorrow. Linc and I are taking Abby and Evan to pick out their dogs. The apartment is completely furnished down to the dishes, so all you’ll need is your personal belongings.” He pulled a key from the drawer and handed it to her. “I appreciate this, Julie. You’ve helped my little girl. I didn’t think I’d ever see her smile again.”
His sincere tone touched her. “She’s a special child. All she needs is love.”
“She has all I can give her. Always.”
Julie fingered the key. There was no turning back now. She was as deeply embedded in the Montgomerys’ life as she could get. The only thing she could do was make it her mission to bring Abby and her dad together. Then she’d step aside. It would make it harder on her, but that’s what she deserved for thinking this situation was a good idea.
All she could do now was to try to right the wrong before she had to walk away from them forever.
Chapter Four
Friday night was girls’ night for Julie and DiDi. It had been for years. The only time they missed was when Julie lived in Huntsville, Alabama, for a year, and the two weeks Di and her husband, Ed, were on their honeymoon. But tonight Julie wasn’t looking forward to getting together. She’d been dreading telling her friend about the change in plans with the Montgomerys. She poured tea into the glasses, painfully aware of her friend’s disapproving glare on her back.
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