I poured some wine for each of us and decided to check on her after all. It wasn’t like her not to say something when she got home. Even when she was mad about something at work, she usually said hi. One time, she stormed in and dragged me to bed. That rough tumble would stick in my mind forever.
This time though, there was no hello. Instead she was drawing a bath. That was different.
I took the wine, holding both glasses by the stems in one hand, and heading to the bathroom. I knocked softly on the door. “Trina?”
There was no answer.
I tried the handle, but it was locked. I cursed myself for fixing the lock on the bathroom door after she’d had a snit about no locks in my house worked. “Trina, baby. Are you all right?”
I heard a growl. I straightened, surprised by it. Something was really wrong.
“What’s going on?” I asked through the door.
There was no answer. Now I was a little annoyed with myself. The very least she could do was to tell me to fuck off if she didn’t want to talk. “Listen, I’ll knock the door down if I have to.”
“I’m fine.” She said in that peevish tone that suggested I was an annoying gnat. I hadn’t heard that in a month.
“I have wine. Or do you want something else?”
“I want privacy,” she bit out.
I contemplated knocking the door down, but knew that would make her even madder. We had only a day or two left in this fake marriage, and I didn’t want to ruin it. She’d quarantined herself because she needed time, and not only should I respect that, but also, maybe she’d done it so she wouldn’t be a jerk to me. I had to appreciate that she’d made an attempt to control her natural urge to lash out at whoever was around.
I left her there, going to the kitchen. I drank my wine and finished preparing dinner, listening for her movement. Eventually, she drained the tub and I heard her rummaging around in the back. But she didn’t come out to the kitchen.
Deciding to check on her again, I went back up the hall to hunt her down. She was in her room, not mine, a fact that made my heart thud in my chest. Had whatever happened changed her mind about me? I scanned my brain for something I might have done to piss her off, but couldn’t think of something. Then again, sometimes it didn’t take much.
I knocked on her door. “Dinner is ready.”
She didn’t respond. I stood there like an idiot trying to decide if I should invade her space or let her be. The protective man in me wanted to invade and make sure she was okay. The smart man warned me that she’d be pissed off that I felt protective of her, and annoyed that I wasn’t respecting her need for space. With a sigh, I gave in to the smart man, and headed to the kitchen.
Pulled the lasagna out, serving two plates on the off chance she joined me. I put the salad on the table and grabbed a beer for me. I set her wine by her plate.
I sat by myself, something I’d done for years before, but tonight I felt lame. Why was I eating all by myself like some poor loser?
I heard movement, and she entered the eat-in kitchen area. Without a glance or a word to me, she sat and stared at her plate. I’d expected her to look angry and irritated, but instead, she looked sad and lost.
I wanted to take her hand and comfort her, but knew her well enough that such a gesture might not go over well. I inhaled a breath knowing I needed to steel myself for her wrath. “What happened? Did the mayor or Sinclair, or that new girl do something?”
She was silent, staring at her lasagna. I wondered if she heard me. Finally, she looked at me, and my heart broke from how lost she appeared.
“I’m pregnant.”
What?
There were a lot of things I imagined Trina saying that would have her this torn up. She and Sinclair had had a fight. The mayor fired her. She decided to take the job offer from Stark, which could be why she and Sinclair had a fight. But she didn’t say any of those things. She said, “I’m pregnant.”
I was gaping, but I couldn’t seem to stop as I simply stared at her. Inside, I had a lot of feelings, and while not all of them were bad, I wasn’t sure which I should vocalize that wouldn’t have Trina going even further down the road of complete undoing.
“How long have you known?” Of the bazillion questions in my head, that one was the least important, and yet it was the one that escaped my mouth.
“This afternoon. I didn’t even suspect…I just missed—” She choked on her words, but she didn’t need to finish. I knew enough about women’s reproduction to know what she meant.
She sniffled. “I’m never late.” She shook her head. “It’s all my fault.”
Had she not been on the pill? I suppose I was a douche for assuming she was. With another woman, I’d have used a condom for sure, but Trina was a Boy Scout, always prepared. There’s no way she’d have had sex without protection. She wouldn’t risk upsetting her highly ordered life. No, she’d have kids when she was good and ready. She’d probably have a sex schedule set to ovulation.
The end result was that it didn’t occur to me to ask about birth control because she’d have stopped me if she’d been unprotected. Right?
“It’s not all your fault. I should have asked, or…” I didn’t know what to say. “It takes two to tango, right?” It wasn’t a time for levity and yet, I quirked one side of my lips up.
“This is serious, Ryder.” She snapped. “You can’t make everything a joke. You can’t assume it will all turn out all right. My entire life has changed in an instant and you’re laughing about it.”
“Our lives.” I took a breath and sat back, reminding myself that this was a big deal, and for someone like Trina, it would be an even bigger deal. Her temper was to be expected.
She huffed out a breath. “You’re not ready to be a father. You’re a bartender and musician. The house is nowhere near ready for a child—”
Holding my own hurt and anger back, I said, “I know you’re upset—”
“Upset!”
I held my hand up for her to be quiet. “I understand the gravity of this. But calling me a loser isn’t the answer.”
She blinked at me. I thought maybe she was gathering steam to lambast me again, but instead, her expression crumpled and she burst out crying.
Oh fuck. Her pissy moods I could handle, but this. Did I hold her? Did I let her get it out by herself?
“I was on the pill. How did this happen?” she cried.
“Okay. So, it didn’t work. That’s not your fault.” I wasn’t sure why we were focused on this. Of all the things to talk about, what happened didn’t seem the most important. What to do seemed like it should be top of the list.
“It was my supplement. It made the pill ineffective. I didn’t know, Ryder. I’m so sorry.”
Feeling safer to reach out to her, I stood and went to her. I reached for her hand and pulled her up, and then guided her to the couch.
“What are you doing?” she asked as I sat and pulled her into my arms.
“I’m being grown up.”
She gave me a look like she didn’t like my calling her out on how she treated me. I squeezed her against me.
“Aren’t you scared?” she asked.
“Yes. A little,” I admitted. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree with her that the unknown and unexpected could be scary. Right now, I did agree with her. But it could also be exciting. And I knew we had support from family and friends. The world wasn’t going to end.
“Why aren’t you freaking out?”
I laughed. “Because I’m not entirely upset by the news.” I tensed, waiting for her to go off on me about how could I not be upset. Instead, she looked up at me like she didn’t know me.
“Why not?”
Did I tell her I loved her now? Did I mention I’d already pictured us married and having a family? Probably not. Having a baby was enough to process. Her head might explode if I mentioned marriage.
“Because I like kids. And I like you. So, having one with you, while a bit inconvenient at the moment�
�”
“A bit inconvenient?”
“It’s not something you and I aren’t equipped to manage.”
“It’s a baby, Ryder. It will need…stuff, and things, and…” It wasn’t often Trina seemed at a loss for words.
“It’s not like we don’t have any experience. We were both pretty involved with Alyssa’s care when Sinclair first had her.”
Her brows knitted together as if she was considering that. Then, as happened with her, a new issue popped into her head.
“How can I even do this?”
“Trina, honey.” I kissed her forehead. “First, you’re not alone. I’m here. Right here. Maybe I’m not perfect, but I stick. Second, we’ve got my parents and Sinclair and Wyatt.”
Her eyes watered a little bit. I thought she was going to settle down, but then a new concern came to her. “What about my job?”
“What about it? Politically correct Mayor Valentine isn’t going to fire you for being pregnant. In fact, you’ve been worried about your job. This baby sort of saves it doesn’t it? It would look bad if he replaced you with that other woman now. In fact, it might be illegal to fire a pregnant woman.”
I was making light of the situation again, and prepared for her to go off on me. Instead she gave me that same look like I was a different species. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Just take everything with ease. Don’t let it get to you? See the silver lining?”
I shrugged. “I suppose it’s part of who I am the same way you are the way you are.”
Her head plopped against my shoulder. “I’m not mom material.”
“That’s bullshit.”
She jerked up at me. “I’m not. You know I’m not. I always see the world with the glass half full. That’s what Sinclair says. I know she’s right. I just can’t afford to be all Pollyanna like you and her.”
“Well, the thing is, your half-empty glass and my half-full glass make a one-hundred-percent full glass.” I smiled, willing her to let some of her worry go. Not all of it. It was in her nature to be on guard, but she didn’t need to keep being in a tizzy about this. We’d figure it out.
“You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?” I asked.
“Making it seem like this isn’t that big of a deal. It feels monumental to me.”
I tugged her in closer. “It is a big deal, Trina. We’ve made a life. It’s a big responsibility and despite what you think of me, I can be responsible. But it’s also exciting. Will she have red hair like you? Will she be organized and efficient, like you? Will she like music, like me?”
“It could be a boy.”
“It could be. Won’t it be an adventure to find out what sort of person we made?”
She rested against me, her tension easing. Her breathing slowed. “I’m scared.”
“Me too, but we’re not alone,” I said again. “It’s like a roller coaster. Scary, thrilling, fun—”
“Dangerous.”
I laughed and kissed her on the head. “I’ll take the kid on the coasters then.”
She looked up at me. “You really feel okay with this?”
I nodded. “I really do.”
I studied her eyes. They were red from crying. They looked tired too. I remembered Sinclair being really tired when she’d been pregnant with Alyssa.
“Why don’t you eat some dinner? I’ll reheat it and then you go to bed. You and Katrina Junior need nourishment and rest.”
Her lips twitched up into a small smile, giving me hope that we’d get through this.
20
Trina
Ryder’s lackadaisical way of going through life notwithstanding, I was having a hard time understanding how he was so calm about all this. Babies changed everything. In an instant, all my plans for the future were gone. Not that I had anything significant, but I liked having a steady predictable life. That was gone. Ryder took with a shrug and a smile. It was a characteristic that normally would irk the hell out of me, but right now, when I felt like my entire world was upside down, it was nice to have his calming demeanor.
He reheated the lasagna, which was perfect. Kids liked lasagna, right? Then I shook my head at the thought of us with a kid eating Italian because this marriage was fake. Baby or no baby, in a day I’d be back at my own place. We’d have to work out a co-parenting schedule. I hoped the kid liked take-out because that’s what it would get at my house.
He put me in his bed and appeared to be prepared to leave, but I needed his comfort, so I asked him to stay. With a smile, he climbed in next to me and pulled me close.
“I know you’re worried, but it’s going to be fine,” he said, softly, calmly.
Okay, that statement did irk more than comfort. “You don’t know that, Ryder.”
“What’s going to go wrong?” he asked.
“Maybe it will be born with a congenital problem. Maybe it will hate me.”
“Maybe aliens will land and abduct it.”
I jerked. “I’m being serious.”
“You’re letting your fear run roughshod over your common sense.” His hand slid over my belly. “People have babies all the time, and yes, it changes things, but change doesn’t necessarily mean for the worst. Look at Sinclair. She was eighteen for God sake. Still in college. But she finished school. She got a good job. She’s now poised to win the next mayoral election.”
“She had help.”
He pulled back his head to look at me. “And you don’t?” He gave a nod and smirk. “That’s right. I’m chopped liver.”
God I was such a jerk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just…I’m used to doing everything alone and I don’t know how I’ll do that.”
“You won’t do it alone, you won’t.” He kissed my head. “Just relax. Let it go for now. It’s not like it won’t be here in the morning.”
I tried to do as he said, but my head was a crazy jumble of thoughts and worries.
“Try harder,” he said as if he knew I was having a hard time. He rubbed my back and kissed my neck.
That was the answer, I realized. I needed to escape my head and go to a place of physical sensation only. I pressed my lips to his and reached between us to cup his dick.
He let out an oomph. “That’s what got us into this predicament.” His voice was amused as he shifted so I could better stroke him.
“Might as well make the best of it, right?”
He grinned. “That’s the spirit.” He rolled me back as he tugged my sleeping shirt and shorts off. Then he ran his hand down my body, strewing kisses until he reached my belly. “Hey baby. It’s your daddy.”
The scene was sweet and yet also so scary. Then with a kiss to my belly, he continued downward.
Yes, I thought as he pushed my legs apart and settled his broad shoulders between my thighs.
“Just feel, baby,” he whispered and then lapped his tongue through my pussy folds.
“Yes,” I said on a long breath. I threaded my fingers through his hair, holding him there. Sweet pleasure began to course through my body, overtaking the racing thoughts in my mind.
He worked his magic, sucking and licking, and then thrusting his tongue and then a finger inside me until I was writhing with need.
“Ryder,” I said on a gasp as I teetered on the edge.
“Come for me, Katrina.” Two fingers thrust inside me as he sucked on my clit. White lights went off in my head as my orgasm burst out, radiating through my body. I gave into it. Into the release. Into him.
As I came down, he moved up my body, shucking his pants and t-shirt off. “Do you want to make love too?”
It always jarred me when he said make love. As sweet and pleasurable as this was, I knew it wasn’t love. At least for him. Did he care for me? Yes, that I was sure of. But not love. If he loved me, he’d have asked me to marry him now that I was having his child. Of course, I’d have said no. That would be too much upheaval and things to consider. Plus, he’d only ask be
cause of the baby. We seemed to get along all right at the moment, especially naked in bed. But I understood myself well enough that at some point he’d get frustrated and resentful. Just as I would by his easy-going, come-what-may way of going through life.
“Fuck me,” I said.
There was a quick flash of something in his eyes that I couldn’t quite read. It wasn’t desire. Was it annoyance?
Before I could try to process it more, he was kissing me. He hooked his hand under my knee, lifting it up and opening me. He slid in, slowly. Oh so slowly.
“Do you feel me, Katrina?” He whispered in my ear.
“Yes.” I clung to his back.
“I’m a part of you.” I wasn’t sure if he meant his dick or the baby. Both were true.
He finally reached the hilt, and I moaned and arched at the sensation of him filling me so fully. He started to move, again, so slowly it was maddening even as it was gloriously pleasurable.
“Do you feel me?” he asked again, this time his voice strained.
“Yes.” I arched, reaching for pleasure. Wanting only to feel. To feel him inside me. To make all the worry and fear disappear, even if just for this short time.
He groaned, and levered up on his hands, picking up the pace as his own need urged him on. Together, we moved, up and down, in and out, like a perfect dance. We were so different in so many ways, except in this. Our bodies fit like they’d been made for each other. Like this, we were the same.
“Aw, fuck…” he growled.
He was close. I could feel the tension in his shoulders. His face contorted into that mixture of pleasure and pain as his need grew. He was so handsome. So sexy. So sweet. I wished I could keep him.
“Come with me, Katrina.” He reached between our bodies and rubbed my clit with his fingers, effectively launching me to the heavens.
I arched again, crying out his name as the sweetest pleasure once again flooded my body.
There was some truth about the idea of things being darkest before the dawn. When I woke the next morning, I didn’t feel quite as freaked out by my unplanned pregnancy as I had the night before. Then again, I’d only just woken up. Given a little time, I’m sure my brain would have me freaking out again.
Accidental Baby: Ryder & Trina's Story (Fake Marriage Romance Book 2) Page 12
