Amish Regrets (Amish Secret Widows' Society #4)

by Samantha Price

“I know; if it is, I’m having the same bad dream as you.” Silvie considered her bad dream was that she’d get the blame from her parents about what Sabrina had been up to. They would blame her for not keeping a closer eye on her and they would blame her double when they found out about Bailey, her Englischer man who she was in love with. They would claim that she’d set a bad example for Sabrina.

  Silvie wondered whether that were true. Had she set a bad example for her schweschder by falling in love with an Englischer? Even though she was a grown woman, her parents still treated her as a child. “I’m sorry, Sabrina, if my entertaining the idea of Bailey joining the community had anything to do with you seeing Carmello.”

  “Nee, Silvie, it had nothing to do with it. Why would you think that? It was nothing that I planned. I never would have thought I’d fall in love with someone like Carmello. The heart wants what the heart wants.”

  Silvie frowned. “Where did you hear that from?”

  “Carmello used to say it all the time. Do you think that they will tell Carmello’s wife about me?”

  Silvie pulled a face. “I hope not. They were separated, weren’t they?” Silvie considered that it might make things slightly better if the two were officially separated before Sabrina began her relationship with the man.

  “Jah. He told me that they were separated, but they still lived in the same haus until he got the documents signed. I think in the end he agreed to what she wanted so he could get divorced without waiting any longer.”

  “Maybe she was entitled to everything. Do you know how these things work?” Silvie asked.

  Sabrina shook her head. “I know nothing of these things. All I know is that Carmello would not have lied to me. He was the nicest man who has ever walked this earth.”

  “What did he say about your faith? He obviously knew you were Amish by your clothing.”

  “He asked a lot of questions if that’s what you mean.”

  “Did he speak of marriage with you?” Silvie asked.

  “Nee, but he was in love with me. We would’ve got married; I’m certain of it. I just know it and that’s why we didn’t have to speak about it.”

  Under the circumstances, Silvie considered that it was no use telling Sabrina anything to the contrary to what she currently believed. What gut would it do to talk sense into her when the man in question was dead?

  Sabrina broke down as they drew closer to home. “It’s all my fault. Gott is punishing me because I sinned. Now Carmello is dead and it’s all my fault.”

  “Don’t be upset. Gott doesn’t punish people like that. He gave everyone the will to choose their own path. He would’ve waited for you to turn back to Him. He’s a patient Gott; he wouldn’t kill someone to pay for someone else’s sin. It’s not your fault at all.” When that did nothing to stop her tears, Silvie added, “You’ll feel better when you’ve had some sleep.”

  Silvie was looking forward to some sleep as well. She was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open and she knew that there were only a few hours before daybreak. “Sabrina, I have to go to work at eleven in the morning. Do you want me to take the day off to stay with you?”

  “Nee, I’ll be all right. You go. I’ll be better tomorrow. You’re right; I probably just need a gut sleep.”

  When her head hit the pillow less than half an hour later, Silvie was filled with worry. What was she going to do with Sabrina? Sabrina should go to the bishop and confess her sin, but Sabrina was old enough to make that decision on her own.

  Maybe the bishop might have her confess to the whole congregation and tell them what she had done. Silvie’s cheeks flushed as she considered the embarrassment and humiliation Sabrina would feel if that were the case. News travels quickly amongst the Amish and her mudder and vadder would surely get to learn of it if the whole congregation heard her confession. Silvie told Gott all her worries and handed them all over to Him, so she could have at least a little sleep.

  Chapter 3.

  Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head:

  for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

  Psalm 141:5

  Silvie peeked into Sabrina’s room before she left for work the next morning. A china cup on Sabrina’s nightstand told Silvie that Sabrina had woken in the middle of the night and fixed herself some tea. If only she didn’t need the money her job at the bakery gave her, then she would’ve been able to stay home and be there when Sabrina woke up. But she did need the money and things had been much harder on Silvie now she had to keep Sabrina, as well as herself.

  Sabrina would not have realized the financial burden that she had put on Silvie. Sabrina had never worked a day in her life and being the youngest, she had never had to do as many chores as the older ones had. Silvie wondered whether it was her easy lifestyle and lack of responsibility, which caused Sabrina to make bad choices. Maybe she should have Sabrina pay board and lodgings to force her to take a job and give her a sense of responsibility.

  When Silvie started work at the bakery/café, the whole place was abuzz with the talk of the local ‘murder.’ Silvie naturally kept quiet about what she knew and the fact that her schweschder had been the one to find the body.

  Throughout the day, Silvie kept her ears open. The rumors were that Carmello had been poisoned and his wife was distraught. She also heard talk that Carmello Liante was a ladies’ man, a charmer; some went so far as to call him a ‘womanizer.’ It was suggested that Carmello always had a mistress on the side and the loving wife, Stephanie Liante, had no idea. Silvie decided it best to keep that information from Sabrina, at least for the moment. There was no point in upsetting her further, especially as it might have been nothing more than idle gossip.

  Silvie learned that Carmello co-owned an accountancy firm with a business partner, Neville Banks.

  After a four-hour day, Silvie arrived home a little after three thirty in the afternoon. She hoped that Sabrina might be busying herself with gardening or housework, but instead Sabrina was nowhere to be seen.

  Silvie peeked in Sabrina’s bedroom to see that she was still in bed, fast asleep.

  Resentment rose in Silvie. She’d had hardly any sleep and had to force herself out of bed to go to work so she could make ends meet. Sabrina was still asleep and had done nothing to help with the running of the household. Not only had she done nothing to help, she had added an extra burden onto Silvie with the worry of the murder and the worry of Sabrina’s indiscretion.

  Silvie glanced at the clock; it was nearly time to prepare dinner and with Sabrina still asleep she would have to do that chore by herself. Silvie picked up her Bible and sat in the couch. “What lesson are you trying to teach me Gott?” she asked aloud. She knew in her heart before she asked that He was trying to show her how to have more compassion and be less judgmental.

  Her Bible opened automatically to Matthew chapter seven. She read the first few verses.

  Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

  And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

  She smiled and knew that she could not judge her schweschder for what she had done. Anyone could fall into temptation if they were not mindful.

  As it was nearing dinnertime, Silvie forced herself into the kitchen, pulled some vegetables out of the container in the cold box and began to cut them into pieces. A loud knock on the door made her jump a little with fright.

  She opened the door and in front of her stood a small, dark haired woman. Her hair was swept up on her head and she was wearing a cream jacket and skirt and high, spikey heals.

  “Hello. Can I help you?” Silvie asked.

  “My name is Stephanie Liante; I’m Carmello’s wife,” is all that the woman said as she looked Silvie up and down.

  Silvie’
s jaw dropped open and she was lost for words. The rumors said that this woman knew nothing of Carmello’s indiscretions, so what was she doing standing there? Silvie realized that the woman might have thought she was the one having the affair with Carmello. Sabrina and Silvie looked very much alike only that Silvie was older. Should she say that she wasn’t Sabrina?

  Silvie licked her lips. “I was sorry to hear about your husband.”

  Mrs. Liante scoffed. “I don’t think much of your religion if you think you can whore around town with other peoples’ husbands.”

  “You’re looking for me.”

  Silvie nearly jumped with fright when she heard Sabrina’s voice coming from behind her. Silvie stepped to one side, blocking Sabrina from the woman. “I’m sorry about your husband, but I don’t know what we can do for you,” Silvie said, not wanting the two women to come face to face.

  “I just wanted to look at the woman who thought she could get away with sleeping with my husband. The police told me that she was the one who found him. How do I know that she wasn’t the last person to see him alive?”

  “Are you saying I killed him?” Sabrina asked, trying to talk to the woman from behind Silvie.

  “When did you last see him? Alive I mean?” Silvie asked Mrs. Liante.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I saw him at home before he left for work in the morning after we made passionate love.”

  “That’s not true,” Sabrina spat out her words with the viciousness of a wild cat.

  Silvie turned her head slightly to speak to Sabrina. “Hush.” She turned back to Mrs. Liante. “You didn’t see him later in the day?”

  “No, I did not. It’s none of your business anyway.”

  Sabrina successfully pushed Silvie out of the way and was now facing the furious woman. “You weren’t sleeping with him. He told me you were separated. Anyway, what makes you so angry with me?”

  “How dare you. We were not separated; we were happy. I was happy until I found out about you, just today. The police told me all about you. They said you were having an affair with him and you were the one who found him dead. You probably killed him, you little strumpet.”

  It was when Silvie tried to pull Sabrina back inside the house she realized she still had the vegetable-chopping knife in one hand. While holding the knife in one hand and struggling with Sabrina in the other, Silvie said, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  “Are you threatening me with that knife?” Mrs. Liante asked.

  Silvie glanced at the knife, which was now in the air and immediately lowered her hand. “No, I was just chopping vegetables.”

  The woman backed away.

  “How did you get our address? The police wouldn’t have given it to you,” Silvie said.

  “I’ve got resources, don’t you worry about that. I’ll see you both get what’s coming to you. You religious freaks.” The woman turned and took two steps toward her car then turned around. “No, I take that back, you are whores and tarts. I’ll have you run out of town.” The woman stomped back to her car, slammed the door and drove away.

  Silvie pulled Sabrina back inside and closed the door with a heavy heart. What Sabrina had done was a sad reflection on all the Amish.

  “What a horrible woman,” Sabrina said.

  After she locked the door, Silvie said, “Sabrina, her husband has just died and she’s also just found out that he was having an affair with you. How do you think that she’d feel?”

  Sabrina shrugged her shoulders. “They were separated.”

  “Whether they were, or they weren’t, the woman has lost a husband.”

  Sabrina frowned. “So you’re on her side? I’ve lost the man I loved; why aren’t you on my side?”

  “I don’t have a side. There are no sides. Nothing is ever black or white. Just try and see someone else’s side for once.”

  “So you are on her side? I think I might go back to mamm and dat; at least they like me.” Sabrina burst into tears and ran into her room; slamming the door behind her.

  Silvie returned to the kitchen to finish cutting the last of the vegetables. There was no use speaking to someone when they were hysterical. Two minutes later there was another knock on the door. This time, Silvie was careful to put the knife down before she answered the door.

  “Stay in your bedroom, Sabrina. I’ll handle it.” Silvie was sure it was Carmello’s wife back again.

  Silvie opened the door to see the two police they had spoken to in the early hours of the morning. “Oh, come in.”

  “Sorry to disturb you. We’ve got some questions for Sabrina.”

  “Certainly, come in.”

  She knocked on Sabrina’s bedroom door. “It’s the police.”

  Silvie showed the police to the living room and Sabrina joined them moments later.

  “You said in your statement that you saw Mrs. Liante come to Mr. Liante’s office?”

  “That’s correct. I’ve already told you everything I know. I saw him dead; I hid in the next office because I wasn’t supposed to be there. I only hid because I heard someone walking in the hallway and then they called out his name. I heard someone come in the room and leave almost straight away. I heard the downstairs door shut and I looked out the window and saw Mrs. Liante cross the road. No one else was around; it had to be she who was in the office.”

  The two policemen looked at each other.

  “Why do you look at each other like that?” Silvie asked.

  “Mrs. Liante claims that she was at home at the time. Her housekeeper testifies that she was there with her, all day.”

  “She’s fibbing of course,” Sabrina said. “She was just here threatening to run us out of town.”

  The older of the two policeman said, “Do you want to file a complaint against her?”

  “Yes,” Sabrina said.

  “No,” Silvie shouted over the top of her schweschder. She glared at Sabrina, as she continued, “No, we do not want to file a complaint. The woman was just upset.”

  “Very well. If you change your mind let us know.” The policemen stood up.

  Silvie and Sabrina followed suite.

  “Did you find the cause of death yet?” Silvie asked.

  “It looks like he was poisoned.”

  Sabrina doubled over and held her stomach. Silvie sat her back down on the couch and walked the policemen to the door. “What type of poison was it?”

  “We’re not certain yet; we have to wait for the lab reports. It could be something else, but the initial examination suggested poison. That’s all I know at this stage.”

  Silvie lowered her voice so Sabrina would not overhear. “So do you think that it was murder? Or could he have somehow accidently taken the poison?”

  “Murder,” one of the policemen said, while the other nodded in agreement.

  “You came here just to find out if Sabrina had made a mistake about seeing Mrs. Liante there?”

  “That’s correct. Seems one of them must be giving us false information. Mrs. Liante has an alibi and your sister has none. Maybe she should re-think her statement.”

  “Is Sabrina a suspect?” Silvie asked.

  The policeman who had done most of the talking said, “Not at the moment, unless we find evidence to suggest otherwise.”

  “Is Detective Crowley handling this case?”

  “Yes, he is. He’s in charge of the investigation.”

  “All right. Thank you.” As Silvie shut the door, she was thankful that Crowley was in charge of the investigation. Detective Crowley had helped her and her group of widow friends in the past.

  Chapter 4.

  Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved,

  bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

  Colossians 3:12

  The next night was the night of the widows’ meeting. The five widows regularly met at the elderly schweschders, Elsa-May and Ettie’s, haus for friendship and to disc
uss whatever was on their minds. Silvie brought Sabrina because Sabrina did not want to be left alone.

  Emma was the first to speak to Sabrina. “I’m sorry to hear what happened, Sabrina.”

  “Denke, Emma.” Sabrina shot a quizzical look to Silvie.

  “All the ladies here know about what happened. We don’t have any secrets and we can all help you,” Silvie said.

  “What way can they help me?” Sabrina asked.

  Elsa-May leaned forward. “This thing’s not over yet, not by a long shot. You saw Mrs. Liante cross the street after she saw her husband dead in his office. She had no reaction, neither did she call the police. She denies to the police she was ever there and had her housekeeper say that she was at home. Something stinks.”

  “I suppose it does,” Sabrina said. “But there’s nothing much I can do.”

  “There are things that we can do though,” Ettie said as she waved one of her long bony fingers in the air.

  Maureen leaned her ample body towards Sabrina, “Don’t you worry about a thing; we’ll find out who killed him.”

  “He’ll still be dead though, so what’s the point?” Sabrina wriggled in her chair. “How do you people sit in these chairs? Don’t you have anything more comfortable?” Sabrina looked at Elsa-May and Ettie. “Why don’t you have a couch like everyone else does?”

  Silvie lowered her head in embarrassment at her schweschder’s constant ungratefulness and complaining.

  “What’s wrong with the chairs?” Elsa-May asked.

  Silvie was embarrassed at Sabrina’s words. The elderly sisters had no couch, just several wooden chairs. No one had ever said anything to them about the discomfort, up until now.

  Sabrina scrunched up her face. “They’re hard and they’re worse than what we have to sit on at the gatherings.”

  Silvie shot her head up. “Be quiet about the chairs. Everyone is trying to help you.”

  Sabrina lifted her chin to the ceiling. “I’m not in any trouble.”

  “Jah, but you might be if they start thinking you had anything to do with his murder,” Emma said. “You wouldn’t be the first innocent person to end up in jail.”