by Cherry Kay
“Six years ago.”
“But you've been coming to New York for six years and telling me you were spending Christmas with them, your only family in the world.”
“I know and in a way it was true. I have been with them...in spirit.”
“9/11. Am I right?”
“Yes. They only just moved to New York. I had one year with them in their apartment and the next year, I lost them both. I have no other family.”
I got up and held him close. This time I could not let him go.
“Grace. It is late. You should go home, have your dinner. They will look after me. Go.”
“Never, I'm staying here until they decide whether they're keeping you in or not.”
“It could be a long night. Please, Grace, if you're waiting, don't stay on your own. You understand? You need a friend to wait with you. Leave my stick and my hat. Go to the cafeteria and eat something and you can check in on me later. Promise me you will eat something?”
“I promise.”
I walked out of ER and headed for the cafeteria. I wasn't even sure it was open. In the corridor I opened my purse and pulled out my cell. There were at least twenty texts and unanswered calls from Mikey. I still had my cell switched off since leaving work.
I put it on and dialed M for Mikey. Another of our corny jokes that no one else would find funny but us. He answered straight away.
“Grace. Gracie. I been calling your cell, your apartment I even wanted to call you at work but I didn't want to get you in trouble. You've been avoiding me. I don't get it.”
“It's all right, Mikey. I've come to my senses now. I want my best friend back. That's what matters. Life is short and I don't want to push you away.”
“You could never do that. Where are you? At home? I'm coming over.”
“No, I'm at County General.”
“What! Are you sick? What happened?”
“It's not me, it's Mr. Iglesias. He had a heart attack and I'm waiting to see if they'll let him out or not.”
“I'm on my way.”
That was so typical of Mikey. He always came through for me in a crisis. I didn't even need to ask.
In no time, as I sat and waited in the corridors outside ER, I saw Mikey walking along the white, shiny floor. He was in tatty jeans and a thick, dark jacket. He had on a gray, woolen hat, pulled low onto his head and he had a half smile.
He sat next to me and put a paper bag on my lap.
“I bought you a sandwich. I knew you wouldn't have eaten and you need to keep up your strength. What have they said?”
“Well, he's sleeping now. It was only a mild heart attack but they just want to wait a little longer. Thank you for coming.”
“Of course.” He opened the paper bag and pulled out the sandwich which was wrapped in greaseproof paper. He undid the paper and held up a half sandwich for me to bite. I leaned over and took a large mouthful.
“Thank you.”
“Welcome, Gracie.”
“So we're okay? I mean you don't have to worry about me jumping on you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, we're just friends. I see that now. Anything else would ruin what we have and most of all I want to have my best friend back again.”
“Being your friend again, that's what you want, huh, Grace?” Mikey stared hard at me. I nodded.
“Well, that makes me happy, too, Grace.”
I was so glad to be sitting with Mikey. In a weird and upsetting way, Mr. Iglesias had given me another gift, I had Mikey back.
9
The next day Mr. Iglesias was out of the hospital. He came back to the Great Western International by cab and was resting in his suite. It was just four days to Christmas and now that I knew the truth about him, I wondered about asking him over for Christmas day so that he wouldn't be lonely. Maybe I could find out about how they spent the holidays in Argentina.
But I was happy that Mikey and I were speaking again. We'd been talking on the phone and texting each other as normal but, somehow, since making out with Mikey, things just didn't feel the same to me, no matter how normal I tried to act.
I told myself and I told Mikey I'd rather have him as a friend than to not have him in my life at all, but in my heart I knew that wasn't strictly true. If I was completely honest, there was really only one way I wanted Mikey in my life but he had already let me know that the feeling wasn't mutual.
So I tried to distract myself from all the day dreaming I was doing with Mikey as the subject matter in every single day dream. I spent the next couple of days trying to find distractions.
There were Christmas trees on sale very near to my apartment. I bundled up in warm clothes and dragged myself out of the apartment to look at them. This was an absolute first for me. Before I knew what I was doing, I bought the smallest tree I could find and carried it home. I had a ridiculous smile on my face as I staggered home with it. I stood it up in various positions around my apartment until I decided the best place for it was in between my little sofa and the window. It was in its own pot and once I'd got it to stand up straight. I stood back and looked proudly at it. Then I noticed how bare my little tree was. All that green and not one decoration.
I opened and closed every drawer in the place to see what I could decorate my tree with, but couldn't find a single thing to put on it. I remembered the idea of stringing popcorn on Christmas trees. I had corn so I started popping great big bowls full of popcorn, letting them cool down before stringing them all together. It was the first time I'd used my sewing kit.
The popcorn was a start, but the tree needed lights and it needed baubles, too. I rushed back out again and practically cleaned out the local store of all the remaining decorations. Well, I figured I had years of decorating a tree experience to catch up on, so I might as well go for it.
Soon my little tree was weighed down with so much glitter it looked like Earth, Wind and Fire were doing a show in my living room.
When I had finally finished, I sat cross legged next to my tree with a cup of hot chocolate and suddenly felt a pang of loneliness. The only thing I could think about was Mikey.
So, I snapped out of it and left the apartment to visit Mr. Iglesias at the hotel and take him some flowers. I knew if I bumped into Miss Poole, she would have a few questions to ask, but I really didn't care, I was off duty and Mr. Iglesias was my friend.
When I got there, he was up in his suite. He was sitting on the sofa in the living room wearing his pajamas and dressing gown, reading a newspaper with his feet up.
“These flowers are for me? Thank you, Grace. But I am the one who should be giving you presents. You saved my life.”
We hugged each other and I took off my coat and sat on the sofa opposite him. The suite was one of the more expensive ones with large vases and alabaster figurines on the mantel. The upholstery was soft cream and the woodwork was solid oak.
Mr. Iglesias loved the flowers and we talked about his health, but in no time at all the subject of Mikey came up.
“I'm really sorry, Mr. Iglesias, I know I shouldn't be bothering you with my problems when you're supposed to be resting.”
“Grace, I'm feeling perfectly well, you know that.”
“I feel stupid. I know Mikey doesn't feel like I do. I guess I just had to talk to someone and get it off my chest. I'm sure I'll get over myself. After Christmas things will be back to normal. I think I got swept away by the festivities and I just don't know myself anymore.”
“Oh you know yourself perfectly well, Princesa. And maybe it's time to take the situation into your own hands.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, to me it seems that this Mikey and you could be the perfect couple and that maybe he just needs convincing that you are the one for him.”
“But I'm not, though. Not really. We're so different. Mikey is a slob, he has a crappy work ethic, and he just sees me as one of the guys. He always has.”
“Well sometimes best friends become lovers and s
ometimes there is no better person to marry than the person who knows you best. I married my best friend.”
“Well, I'm not talking marriage or anything. I just want to go on a date with him. Speaking of which – what are you doing Christmas Day? I know it's just a humble place, but I'd love it if you could join me. What do you say?”
“Oh, my Grace. I should have told you. I won't be here. I'm going back to Argentina tomorrow. I'm going to spend Christmas with my sister and her family. She has been inviting me every year, she cannot bear the thought of me being alone in New York the way I always used to be.”
“Well, that's really good news, Mr. Iglesias.” I got up and gave him a hug. “And I won't be worried about you being lonely now. But...”
“But what?”
“That means you won't come to New York anymore.”
“Well, maybe not at this time of year but I would come again. And I hoped one day you might come to visit me at my ranch.”
“I'd love to.”
“That only leaves one thing, then.”
“What's that?”
“For you to go to Mikey and tell him how you feel. You said you didn't want me to be lonely and I feel the same about you.”
“But, I can't just march over there and tell him... can I?”
“I can't see why not.”
When Mr. Iglesias said it then, I suppose, I couldn't see why not either.
“So I suppose this is goodbye...for now.” I said to him.
He got up and picked my coat up off the armchair. Like a gentleman, he helped me on with it. I gave him another big hug and really didn't want to let him go. I would miss his yearly visit but I was equally looking forward to seeing him at his home in Argentina.
“Good luck, my Grace, and have a wonderful Christmas.”
I took the subway back and my heart was in my throat. I was going to go straight to Mikey's place but I thought when I got there I'd lose my nerve. I'd already thrown myself at him once. This time I was going to keep all my clothes on and ask Mikey if he could ever see us being more than friends.
Frank opened the door when I got there.
“Hey beautiful, I know you didn't come to see me but maybe I can persuade you to reconsider your choice.”
“Frank, when you stop entertaining a different woman each night then maybe, just maybe, I might let you take me out for a drink and then I'll consider your offer,” I smiled and became a little more at ease.
“Ah, don't tease me, now. You know I've always loved you from afar. Anyway, must run, I got Joanna or is it Jackie, meeting me at eight.”
“Have a good night, Frank.”
He was putting on his coat and standing at the door.
“Your boy is in his room,” he said. “Don't do anything nasty.”
He left and Stewie smiled at me from his computer table. I had a terrible feeling that Mikey might have told them both about us making out a couple of weeks ago. I walked towards Mikey's room thinking, this is a bad move. I wanted to turn back but Mikey opened his door and poked his head out.
“Grace, it's you.”
“Hope you don't mind me coming by.”
He closed his bedroom door like I wasn't welcome and I knew this was a big mistake. But how could I leave here, feeling the way I did without even trying to ask Mikey out on a proper date. I thought if we could have dinner or go for a drink as boyfriend and girlfriend he might just fall for me the way I had him.
I looked over at Stewie, who nodded at me. I couldn't talk to Mikey in the living room I had to get him somewhere in the apartment where we could be alone.
“I could do with a coffee, Mikey.”
“Oh sure,” he said and led me to the kitchen. He put the kettle on and I could see he was wearing a shirt I'd never seen before and even his jeans looked new, or clean.
He made me a coffee and we seemed to have nothing to say to each other. He was opposite me at the table and I took a deep breath.
“Mikey, I wasn't just passing.”
“No?”
“I went to the hotel, I went to see Mr. Iglesias.”
“And how is he?”
“Oh he's great He's going home tomorrow, spending Christmas with his sister in Argentina.”
“Well that's good news. And you have your time off work, like you wanted. So all's good.” He looked at his watch.
“Going somewhere?”
“No, no, just wondering.”
“Look, I don't want to take up your time, maybe I should just go.” I stood up then sat back down again. I hadn't even taken a sip of my coffee. “Mikey.”
“What is it, Grace?” He leaned across the table and his arms slid towards me.
“Mikey, I lied to you.”
“You did? When?”
“The day you came to the hospital. I told you I wanted us to go on being friends and that wasn't strictly true.”
“You mean you don't want to be my friend anymore? What did I do?”
“You didn't do anything. Something in me changed. I don't even know why it happened. It sneaked up on me and now I can't stop the way I feel.”
“What are you saying, Grace?”
“I'm saying I'm in love with you.”
He rocked back in his chair, his hands came to his face and he slid them down so that he pulled the skin on his cheeks downwards.
“What are you doing to me, Grace?” He shook his head and looked down at the table.
“Mikey all I wanted was a chance for us to get together, romantically.”
“Gracie, I don't know what to say.” He stood up.
My heart had sunk to my stomach.
“You don't have to say anything,” I said. “I understand. I've just blown our whole friendship. I should go.” I walked to the door, he was blocking it but stepped aside.
“Gracie, wait.” He put his hands out before I could open it. “You can't leave after dropping a bomb like that.”
“I can't help how I feel, Mikey. I tried to be just friends but this damned Christmas has made me crazy. I don't know what's gotten into me.”
I heard some movement in the living room and a female voice. The voice called out.
“Oh, Mikey!” And then a tall blond walked into the kitchen.
“Delores, hi!” he blurted out.
Dolores marched past me and threw her arms around Mikey.
“We ready?” she asked and then turned back to look me up and down.
“I'm just leaving,” I put up a hand and left the room.
Before I could get to the front door, Mikey stopped me.
“I'm sorry, I arranged this the other day,” he said. “I didn't know you were coming.”
“You never told me you were seeing someone,” I said. I opened the door and walked into the hallway. Mikey grabbed my hand.
“You never asked. Anyway it's been on and off and now Delores wants us to spend Christmas day together and I kinda said yes.”
“Well, you're a free agent, Mikey. Just tell me one thing. The other day when we were making out on your living room floor, were you two on or off.”
“Off. Definitely off. I hadn't seen her in a while. She's so temperamental. I don't know where I am with her sometimes.”
“I know the feeling. Merry Christmas, Mikey.”
I ran down the stairs and he called me back but didn't follow. In the streets I dodged through the crowds and walked as fast as I could all the way home.
10
It was Christmas Eve. I had to work for four hours at the hotel from late morning so I was able to sleep in. And I needed a few hours to lose the dark circles and bags under my eyes from crying myself to sleep. I got up and made a strong coffee and sat on the sofa looking up at my tree. Some of the glitter had fallen onto the carpet and I realized I didn't have a present under it. That would have made it a proper tree. But there was nothing proper about this Christmas. I wished I'd never told a lie about being engaged and needing time off for the holidays with my fiancé's family.
I cringed.
The buzzer for my apartment sounded. I wondered who it could be. My first thought was Mikey.
“Yes?” I answered into the intercom.
“Package for Miss Danvers. Grace Danvers. Needs to be signed for.”
“Come on up.”
I pressed the buzzer. What could it be? I stood with my fingers crossed waiting for the courier to take the elevator up to the fifth floor. I was secretly hoping that Mikey had had a change of heart and that his on off relationship with the blond was off for good.
There was a knock on the door and I still half expected to see Mikey standing behind the courier because he wanted to see my face when I got his present.
“There you go, sign here.” The courier was on his own and he was expecting a tip. I grabbed five dollars from the coffee table, it's all I had. Any spare cash had gone on decorating my tree.
