"He's a powerful man, Zach. He called himself the carnivore. I don't find him, he finds me. That's what he said." My voice hitched. It was getting harder and harder to keep going, but I had to say this aloud. I'd never told anyone before and it was cleansing in some ways. "Shorty died in my arms, his blood was all over my hands. Literally and metaphorically, I guess. I may not have stabbed him, but he wouldn't have died if it wasn't for me."
Zach spun around. I thought my heart was going to explode, mostly from the sudden movement, but also from the chilling thought that this was no practice run. He'd just heard every word. I didn't have time to live out my shock. He pulled me into his arms before I could utter a sound, his chin resting against my cheek as he whispered, "It wasn't your fault. You can't be held responsible for that."
My fingers dug into Zach's back as he held me close.
"Shorty got killed for asking questions. When you said your uncle was looking into this, I just freaked out. What if he gets to you somehow?" I squeezed him to me, trying to banish the images of Zach's bloody body in my hands. "What if he hurts someone you're close to? What if he gets to your friends?"
"It's gonna be okay. We're going to beat this guy."
My insides went still. I smiled as Shorty's words reached me from the past. Don't let him win. Live for me, love.
"Running has always kept me safe, Zach." I swallowed, pressing my tear stained cheek against his. "But the past few weeks I just haven't been able to get your words out of my head. I've always been too afraid to ever consider justice. Running was the only defense I had, but it took me meeting you to realize what a coward I've been." I pulled back so I could look into his eyes. I could barely see them in the dark, but I felt his soft breath on my skin. "My parents were murdered for doing nothing wrong and I've let their killer roam free and then murder two more people who meant the world to me." Tears bubbled over my lashes as I sucked in a shaky breath. "I've let fear own me, Zach. It's made me forget about justice. It's made me fail my family."
"You haven't failed anyone." He pulled back, brushing my cheek with his fingertips."
"By doing nothing, I've let him win and kill two more people. I can't let him kill you too."
My tears turned into sobs, wrenching through my body and making me shake. Zach rolled onto his back and pulled my head against his shoulder, shushing me softly as I released the pent up emotion.
Saying I was a failure may have sounded harsh and I understood why Zach didn't agree with me, but the idea had been sleeping within me for years. Nothing could have stopped my parents' death, I know that, but if I'd fought a little harder for justice, Marlin and Shorty might have still been alive. Running had only served myself.
It was time to stop running. It was time to fight back.
Chapter 6
ZACH
Lucy's sobs tore at Zach's heart, but he refused to let her go. She obviously needed to let it all out and he understood why. Lying still and listening to her story of Marlin and Shorty had made his skin prickle with sadness. His heart had wrenched at the image of her holding a blood-soaked man as he died in her arms. It had taken everything in his power not to roll over and stop her, just so she didn't have to live through it again.
It wasn't until she started blaming herself for everything that he couldn't take it anymore. She had not killed those men. That asshole police officer had. Anger burned through his veins as he thought about how terrifying it must have been for Lucy to meet him face to face. She had suffered way too much trauma and he wasn't sure he wanted to put her through anymore, but she'd never, ever, be able to move on until they ended this. The fact she had told him the truth, and even admitted what she thought was her failure was actually a good sign.
Maybe she was ready.
As her loud cries ebbed to soft sniffles, Zach squeezed her shoulder. "It's okay. It's all gonna be okay."
"How? We don't even know who the guy is. Even if I did have the courage to track him down, how would I? Shorty got killed for trying find him. After Marlin was taken, he asked around town about him and ended up leading the guy straight to our door." She shivered against Zach and he rubbed her back to ease her tremors.
"Maybe you should go back to the beginning then."
"What do you mean?" She turned on his shoulder to look up at him.
Zach pressed his lips together before taking in a deep breath. "Please don't be mad, but I asked my uncle to look into who you might be. I gave him the vague details you'd told me and he did some research."
"What kind of research?" Lucy pressed her hand to Zach's chest and sat up.
"He found me some newspaper articles and murders in L.A. around the time you mentioned. He um, gave me a few files." Zach sat up slowly, nervous of her reaction. He watched her shadow in the dark as she turned her back to him and drew her knees to her chest.
"Were any of them on me?" She finally whispered.
"Yeah," Zach replied softly. "Yeah, there's a Lucy Tate file there. Do you want to see it?"
She drew in a full breath then slowly released it. "Yes."
He flicked on the light before she changed her mind and squinted against the sudden glare from his lamp. Stumbling to his closest he pulled out the file and walked back to the bed. He held it out to her, not daring to breathe as she reached for it.
Her hands were shaking as she drew it onto her lap. With her teeth embedded in the edge of her bottom lip, she flicked the file open and began to read. It was a struggle for her. Zach watched her carefully, noting the way her eyes closed or her body jerked as obvious memories lashed her.
"That's not true," she'd murmur occasionally.
As she worked her way slowly through each article, Zach sat down on the bed and nestled in behind her. He perched his chin on her shoulder when she began to sniff and wipe at tears.
"I didn't kill my own parents."
Reaching for a Kleenex, he passed it to her and then began rubbing slow circles on her back as she mopped up her tears.
"I know." He kissed her shoulder.
"I can't believe you invited me into your house after reading this? What did you think when I told you my name?"
She gripped her forehead, her muscles pinging tight. Zach squeezed her shoulder, nestling his lips into the crook of her neck and letting out a sigh. "I know you, Lucy," he mumbled against her skin. "I know you didn't do this."
"There were so many reasons not to go to the cops and try and find a good one among them, someone who could help me. I was afraid no one would believe me and that I'd get thrown into jail for a crime I didn't commit. I knew I couldn't hide from him if I were locked up. I didn't want to tell you. Who wants to be with someone who's a prime suspect in a murder investigation? How could I possibly explain to you that staying low was my only option? And then after a while I wasn't just hiding from the law because I was supposedly guilty of murder. I'm a thief! I'm—"
"Hey, stop trying to convince me. I know you're not capable of killing anybody." He kissed the side of her head and rested his chin back on her shoulder.
She sighed. "You're too good for me."
"Actually, I think I'm just right. Now shut up and keep reading."
Lucy snickered and lifted the file back into her hands and went quiet until she got to the final page and her shoulders jolted up, knocking Zach's chin.
He sat back with a grimace and rubbed his face, but Lucy didn't even notice. She was holding the interview of FBI agent William Tenner in her hands, her fingers gripping the image so tightly the paper was starting to rip.
"Careful." Zach tried to ease it from her grasp.
"That's him." The words rushed out with her breath and Zach's stomach flipped over.
"The guy who killed your parents?" He could barely set the words free.
She nodded, her head jerking up and down erratically.
Zach licked his lips and tried to regulate his thoughts. Looking at the page again, his face bunched with confusion. "Are you sure? Special Agent William Tenner of
the FBI?"
She nodded once more, her eyes transfixed on the image, her skin translucent with fear.
Worried that she might pass out, Zach pried the image from her and turned it over. This seemed to snap her out of it and she finally looked at his face.
"The FBI. He worked for the FBI? Dad was killed by someone he worked with!"
"I thought you said your parents were killed by a cop?"
"I thought they were! I don't know why I was so convinced of that, but I just made an assumption and it stuck." She ran shaking fingers into her hair, looking ready to hurl. "The FBI. I can't believe it. I thought a cop was bad, but this just seems so much worse."
"That's because it kinda is." Zach's heart was galloping as he mussed his hair.
"I'm sorry. This is bad. This is so much worse than what I thought. I can leave if you want me to."
Zach spun around with a glare. "Would you stop. I don't want you to leave! I thought that was obvious."
"But, Zach, this is huge. I mean, he's..." She pointed at the upturned picture. "Terrifying."
"And guilty. He's not any kind of special agent. He's a dirty criminal and he has to be brought to justice." Zach's voice was like steel and at first he was worried it might scare her, but her head bobbed.
"Don't let him win." A watery smile flashed onto her face. "That's what Shorty told me. I thought he meant, don't let him catch me, but you bring a slightly different meaning to it all."
Zach took it for the compliment it was, brushing his knuckles gently along her cheekbone.
"So you want to do this then?"
"Yes." She shook her head.
He grinned.
"It's gonna be okay." Zach kept his gaze steady, trying to hide the churning in his belly. They were taking on Goliath and he didn't feel very David-like. "We're gonna need to let some people in...to help us."
Her shoulder twitched and she squeezed it. "You're Uncle Alex."
Zach nodded. "I know it's scary, but you have to trust me...and him...with the whole truth. Do you think you can do that?"
"I'll try, Zach." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, blinking at yet more tears. "I'll really, really try."
With a soft smile, he leaned forward and kissed her lips, a sudden surge of excitement racing through him. Yeah, it was scary, but they could do this. And then the girl whose lips were pressed against his would be free...to be Lucy again.
Chapter 7
LUCY
My knee wouldn't stop bobbing. It bounced like a jackhammer under the table. I tried to hide it as Zach passed me a glass of pineapple juice, but his eyes narrowed slightly as he slipped into his chair. His sure hand was soon resting on my leg.
"You need to relax."
"I know." I sipped my juice and looked to the door.
Zach had called his uncle at 7am. We knew it was early, but we'd both been wide-awake since around four and having to wait for a decent hour had been really hard work. Alex had been pretty forgiving and actually scolded Zach for not calling him earlier. He was on his way now and I wanted to throw up.
Placing my juice on the table, I nibbled at the edge of the crispy toast Zach had prepared for me. He really was useless in the kitchen...and all I could do was slice fruit! What a pair we made.
"Sorry, I know it's crap. I really have to learn how to cook."
I snickered and reached for his hand. "So do I. Maybe AJ can teach us."
Zach groaned. "Not sure I could stomach lessons from that guy."
"Oh come on. He's great."
"Yes, he is great, but when it comes to the kitchen he's a pompous control freak. If you want to risk it, you be my guest."
His sweet smile squeezed my heart as he leaned towards me with another kiss. It was so nice to just be here, acting like a normal couple. I could almost forget all the crap I was hiding in moments like this.
And then the doorbell rang.
My leg began to bob again as Zach went to answer it. I could just see the edge of his face as he pulled it back and greeted his uncle. Even from the micro-glimpse I spied, I could tell they were close.
"You're a genius." Zach chuckled as he reached out for something. A second later he stepped back with three takeout coffee cups and a paper bag.
My mouth started watering, but didn't take long to dry up as Alex stepped through the door. He wasn't at all what I expected. Zach's father was surely in his mid-to-late forties. His younger brother looked to be in his mid-to-late twenties. I took in his broad smile as he approached me, his straight, white teeth and scruffy curls were some how enchanting, but the whole deal was sealed with those blue eyes. He was a bit of a heart stopper.
I fumbled my glass, spilling large droplets of juice on the table before catching it.
"Sorry."
Zach just grinned and went to grab a dishcloth as Alex extended his hand to me.
"You must be, Lucy."
I took his hand and nodded. It felt weird having people just know my name now. I'd kept it hidden for so long. It made me feel naked having them just say it aloud so easily.
"Zach's told me a lot about you."
My nose wrinkled before I could stop it and Alex laughed. "Don't worry, it's all good."
Trying to chuckle with him was hard work. Now that people were finding out the truth about me, I felt like all my acting skills were disappearing. It was not cool. I couldn't lose my touch now. Not when things were about to get really dangerous.
My knees buckled and I slumped into the chair.
"Here." Alex removed a cup from the holder and placed it in front of me. "I wasn't sure if you were a coffee drinker, so I got you a hot chocolate. I can swap if you want though."
"No, this is good." I dragged it towards me and took off the lid, the chocolatey smell hitting me instantly. Three marshmallows too. Score. I pushed one into the liquid with my finger, then sucked off the gooey sweetness. "Thank you."
"I also grabbed you guys a couple of bear claws." He slid the bag towards me then leaned forward with a wink as Zach wiped up the spill on the table. "I know this guy can barely microwave a frozen dinner. I figured you'd be hungry."
Zach gave him a sarcastic smile look then flicked the dishcloth at him. It landed splat on his face making them both break into laughter. My next few minutes was spent watching Zach and Alex throw that disgusting rag at each other and tussle in the kitchen.
Man, some families were weird...although it did remind me a little of my dad and his uncle.
My dad.
The bemused smile fled my lips as I turned from the scuffling and pictured my dad. I never usually let myself do it. Every time his blue eyes wafted into my mind, I shunted them aside. If I played with the image it brought forth a tidal wave of memories. Sweet moments were always dumped on by the final picture of his body lying limp on a bloody kitchen floor.
I sniffed, pulling my back straight and reaching for the bear claw. The guys returned to the table and I handed one to Zach. After taking a couple of bites, he gave me a quick look and pulled the file from the edge of the table, flicking it open.
Alex's playful blues grew dark as he pulled the pages towards him. Sitting on the top was the large image of William Tenner. My eyes were transfixed on his pale, green eyes as Alex softly asked, "So this is him?"
The boulder in my throat was impossible to speak past, so I just nodded.
"You're sure?"
I met Alex's gaze and gave him a firm nod. "I'm sure." My eyes flittered back to the picture, my face bunching tight.
Alex cleared his throat and flipped the image over. "I know this must be really hard for you. I'm guessing you've tried to block the memories from your mind."
Unable to look up for fear of showing my tears, I sniffed and gave a short nod.
"But you're gonna have to recall everything that happened that night. We need your memories so that we can get a full picture, okay?"
His gentle voice was soothing. I let it wash over me and tried to still my frazzled heart.
"Okay." My voice was so tiny.
"I'm gonna record it, alright?"
I froze as he pulled out what looked like an iPod and set it up to record. He pressed the red circle on the screen and sat back. "It's June 26th, I'm talking with Lucy Tate about the night her parents were murdered."
"Wait." I sat forward. "Please delete that. I don't want...don't use my name." My hand slid towards the recording device, looking for the off button.
"Lucy." Alex's warm fingers stopped me. "You're the key witness. We have to use your name."
"I'm also the prime suspect and the key target of William Tenner. If this gets into the wrong hands, he'll kill me. It's better that he doesn't hear the name."
"Sweetie, from what Zach told me on the phone this morning, he already knows you're alive."
"I know, I just don't want to be linked to you...or Zach."
Zach moved so he could rest his hand on my shoulder. His fingers kneaded the tight muscles before sliding down my back.
"None of this will surface until the day we bring him down. I know finding out he's FBI somehow makes this more terrifying, but you don't need to be afraid. I'm the only one with access to this recording device. You're safe. And what you give me today can be used as evidence to bring this guy down. We need you, Lucy. We need you to be brave."
My mouth dried up like the salt flats, but for some reason my head bobbed.
"Okay, so let's start with the night of your parents' murders." Alex swallowed, his eyes filling with sympathy. "What time did it happen?"
I squeezed my eyes shut. Other than admitting the truth to Zach and Marlin, this was the first time I'd ever had to talk about that night in detail. I wasn't even sure if I could remember it all, but as I opened that wretched door and finally let the memories seep into my brain, the images returned with a clarity that sucked the air from my lungs.
I pulled in a sharp breath and opened my eyes.
"It's okay," Zach murmured in my ear. He continued to rub slow circles on my back. "You told me you'd just had dinner."
Set Me Free Page 4
