She felt a little silly having a conversation with a newborn, but there was no one else around, and she was feeling restless. In her pre-babysitting life, she’d kept a busy schedule with work, and jogging, and keeping up with friends, but since this little boy’s arrival, she’d spent a lot of time in the house. The beautiful sunny day was beckoning to her, but her mother had gone to church and also had lunch plans, so she was on her own for a while. Getting outside would have to wait.
“You need a name,” she told him, “but I’m afraid to give you one. I wouldn’t want to confuse you if your mom comes back and wants to change it.”
She hated that she’d thought in terms of if Annie came back rather than when.
The sound of her doorbell brought relief. Someone she could talk to who might actually talk back. She picked up the baby and went to answer the door.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Joe on the porch. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, looking even sexier than usual, and a little jolt of electricity ran down her spine.
“Hello, Charlotte,” he said. “I wanted to update you on our search this morning.”
Judging by his tone, it wasn’t particularly good news.
“It’s not bad,” he said quickly, obviously reading the worry in her eyes. “It’s nothing. We found no trace of Annie or her father. We’re going to widen the search area tomorrow.”
She let out a sigh. “I guess no news is better than bad. Do you want to come in?”
“Is Andrew still here?”
“No, he’s at the church,” she said, leading him into the living room.
“But he slept here, right?”
“On the couch,” she said, meeting his gaze.
“Your mother likes him, doesn’t she?”
“She’s over the moon about him. He’s a minister, and she’d love to see me follow in her footsteps. You should have seen the sparkle in her eyes when she first came in last night and saw him.” She put the baby in his car seat on the coffee table and sat on the couch. “I know Andrew has gotten in your way on this case, but his heart is in the right place. He’s not a bad guy.”
“Sounds like you’re back on Team Andrew,” he said, sitting down across from her.
“What team should I be on?” she asked, feeling a little reckless. Joe flirted with her, but he always pulled back.
Joe drew in a deep breath, then let it out. “We should drop this.”
“You started it,” she reminded him.
“It was a bad idea. You and Andrew have a history.”
“We do,” she agreed. She hesitated for a moment. “I told Andrew about my teenage pregnancy last night. We were talking about Annie’s baby and my stepping into this instant but temporary motherhood, and it just came out. I’d been thinking about telling him ever since he got back, but I wasn’t sure it was worth getting into after all this time.”
“How did he take it?” Joe asked.
“He was shocked and angry that I didn’t tell him when it happened. Not that it mattered in the long run.”
“Does Andrew know you told me?”
She shook her head.
“Why did you tell me before him?” Joe asked curiously.
“You’re easy to talk to. You don’t judge me—and I’m not used to that. My parents had such high expectations, and with Andrew a minister, I can’t help but feel I’m going to fall short with him, too. Yet I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not.”
She paused. “What I didn’t tell you before is that I was never sure if it was Andrew’s baby. I also had a one-night stand, or better described as a five-minute stand, when I was really drunk and depressed. So that’s all of it—though I’m sure you’re not at all interested.”
“You know I’m interested, Charlotte.”
She shifted uncomfortably at the intensity in his eyes and tried to lighten the mood. “These sleepless nights are making me really talkative. I was chatting to the baby earlier, and he dozed off in the middle of my sparkling wit.”
Joe smiled. “I can’t imagine how he could do that.”
She smiled back. “Shocking, I know.”
Silence fell between them, and it wasn’t as comfortable as she would have liked. She wasn’t very good at reading Joe. He’d had a lot of practice not revealing his emotions, which she imagined made him a good cop, but it also made him difficult to get to know.
“So you and Andrew are good?” he asked.
“I think so. I gave him a lot to think about, but ultimately, my keeping it a secret didn’t really affect him. If anything, I saved him from three months of worrying about what to do.”
“Why did you save him from that?” Joe asked.
“Because of the other guy. I was ashamed, hurt, angry.” She let out a sigh. “I was so messed up. Part of me just wanted the pregnancy to go away. But then, when it did, I felt guilty, as if wishing it had made it happen.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Logically, yes. But my heart has never been as convinced.”
“From what you’ve told me, Andrew didn’t treat you very well in high school. Is that what’s holding you back with him now?”
“Partially.” The other part was her interest in Joe.
He gave her a thoughtful look.
“What?” she prodded. “What are you thinking?”
“I was wondering how well you know Andrew. You didn’t see him for more than ten years, right? What was he doing all that time?”
“He was going to school for quite a bit of the time. I don’t really know. We haven’t talked about those years much.”
He nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
“What? You think he’s hiding something?”
“Andrew tries a little too hard.”
“It’s difficult to take on the role of spiritual leader for a community that watched you grow up. He’s trying to earn respect. Why do you sound suspicious of him?”
“Sometimes he seems too good to be true,” Joe said simply.
Had Joe picked up on something that she hadn’t? “Are you aware of something specific that you want to share?”
“No, forget I said anything.”
“So, back to Annie,” she said. “I’d like to get out and search for her myself.”
“You’re doing the most important thing, taking care of her baby.”
“I know that’s true, but it doesn’t feel like enough—and I have a case of cabin fever. Do you think it would be all right if I took the baby for a walk in the stroller? I don’t want to put him in any danger.”
“I’m sure you’d be fine, but why don’t I go with you?” he suggested. “It’s a nice day, and I could use a walk, too.”
“You’re on,” she said, getting to her feet. “I’m craving a soy latte with a hazelnut sprinkle. I hope you don’t mind a stop.”
“Not at all,” he said.
She grabbed her bag and snapped the baby seat into the stroller. Then they were ready to go. “I’ve never felt so excited to get out of the house,” she said with a laugh as Joe opened the front door. “This is the baby’s first trip, too, since he came home from the hospital.”
“I hope he doesn’t sleep through it.”
“I’m fine with his sleeping. When he’s awake he can get loud.”
“Isabella used to be like that when she was a baby,” Joe said, following her out onto the porch. “I remember going to sleep with earphones after she was born.”
“How is Isabella liking Angel’s Bay?”
“She’s fitting right in, working at the theater, making friends.”
“Maybe she’ll stay. It would be nice for you to have some family around.”
“It would, but I doubt it will happen. Izzy doesn’t stay anywhere for too long.”
“Why is that?”
A thoughtful look entered his eyes. “You know, I’m not really sure. Her constantly changing plans have always been kind of a family joke, but the more time I spend with her, the mo
re I realize that I don’t know her as well as I thought I did. I was twelve when she was born and out of the house long before she hit high school. I always thought of her as a free spirit with a quirky personality, but there’s a serious side to her, a vulnerability, that I never noticed before.”
“Maybe she hid it,” Charlotte said as they walked down the street.
“Why would she do that?”
“Because we all try to live up to who people think we are. In my family, I was the screw-up. Sometimes I screwed up on purpose, just to be who they thought I was.”
“Maybe you could have changed their minds by not screwing up,” Joe suggested.
“That thought was far too logical for me,” she said with a grin. “Now, you, as the oldest and the only son, were probably spoiled rotten. Your parents no doubt adored you. Your sisters looked up to you. I’m betting it was pretty fun to be you.”
He laughed. “I had it all right.”
“I hope I’ll meet your parents sometime. Do you think they’ll ever come to Angel’s Bay?”
“They might, if I ever invite them.”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“They’re disappointed in my decision to divorce. They’re very religious.”
As much as Charlotte wanted to know more about his divorce, she was reluctant to go there. She certainly wasn’t an objective observer, because on the few occasions when she’d had contact with Rachel, she hadn’t been all that impressed. Whether that was because Rachel wasn’t all that nice or because she wanted Joe for herself was debatable.
“Anyway,” Joe said, “they’ll get over it.”
“Do you think you will?” she asked.
He gazed down at her for a moment. “Yeah, I think I will.”
FIFTEEN
“You’re very popular, Tory,” Isabella commented as she opened the door to the Java Hut. Nick’s sister had been stopped several times on their way into town from the beach.
“Small-town life,” Tory answered with a smile. She gave her order to the cashier, then told Isabella, “This one’s on me.”
“Thanks,” she said as they sat down at a small table to wait. “You seemed a little upset earlier. Everything all right?”
“Yes. Watching Nick and Megan just reminded me of the fact that I don’t have the family I’ve always wanted. Not that I begrudge Nick. He and Megan should have always been together. I was angry with him for a long time for not trying harder to make that happen, and I’m so glad she’s here now. I just want those silly, small family moments with a child of my own.”
“I hope you get them.”
“Me, too.” Tory got up to retrieve their coffees. “I’m also worried about Steve. Hiring a lawyer makes no sense to me, and while I want to believe him, I’m having trouble doing that.” She took a breath and looked around to make sure no one was in earshot. “I think Steve might have cheated on me with Annie.”
Isabella chose her words carefully. “It’s one thing to think it and another to know it for a fact.”
“Which is why I think Steve doesn’t want to give his DNA. Because until he does, it’s speculation.”
“Or he’s just concerned about his privacy,” Isabella said, playing devil’s advocate.
“It would be unimaginably difficult to find out that Steve cheated on me. But even worse would be knowing that he turned his back on his baby. The biological father should be stepping up. Why has he left his son with Charlotte? Not that she’s not capable and wonderful, but this man has a responsibility to his child.”
“I agree. Is it possible that Annie lied? I don’t know her, so I could be off base, but it seems strange that so much time has passed since she disappeared, and no one has come forward to claim the baby.”
“I guess it’s possible, but . . .” Tory’s voice drifted away.
Isabella looked over her shoulder to see what had caught Tory’s attention, and was surprised to see Joe and Charlotte through the café window. Charlotte was pushing a baby stroller, and Joe had his hand on the small of her back. He was smiling at Charlotte, and Isabella hadn’t seen that kind of tender look on her brother’s face in a very long time.
As they stepped into the café, Charlotte offered a big, warm smile.
“Isabella, Tory, hello,” she said.
Tory paled as Charlotte pushed the stroller next to the table.
The baby was adorable, Isabella thought. He was fast asleep, with his little hands at his side, his fingers so tiny, his expression so sweet.
“His first public appearance,” Charlotte said. “We both needed to get out of the house.”
“I’ll get your coffee, Charlotte,” Joe said, “Soy latte with hazelnut sprinkle, right? You don’t want decaf, do you?”
“God, no,” Charlotte said with a laugh. “I need something to keep me awake.”
“He’s perfect,” Tory said, staring in fascination at the baby. “Just beautiful.” Her voice caught. “How could anyone not want him?”
Charlotte’s gaze softened, and she put a hand on Tory’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t think when I brought him out that—”
“Don’t be silly. Of course you should be out. You should do whatever you want to do. I have to go.” Tory jumped to her feet and ran toward the door, almost knocking over a woman in her haste to escape.
“What’s going on?” Joe asked, returning to the table.
“Tory just saw the baby she thought she was going to get,” Charlotte said quietly. “I didn’t think. I was worried about running into Annie’s father, but I forgot about the adoptive parents.”
“I’ll go after her.” Isabella got to her feet. “It’s not your fault, Charlotte. She had to see the baby sometime.”
“Tell her I’m sorry,” Charlotte said.
“I will.”
Isabella caught up with Tory at the corner, just as she was about to step into traffic. She grabbed Tory’s arm as a driver laid on his horn. “Hold on there. We need a green light.”
“The baby—he was going to be mine,” Tory said, her eyes dazed. “I really thought I was going to be a mother. I was going to push him in the stroller around town, and people would stop and say how cute he was. And some people wouldn’t know that he was adopted, and they’d say, ‘He looks just like you.’” Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Let me take you home.” Isabella led Tory to Joe’s truck, parked a couple of blocks away. Tory didn’t say anything along the way, and her silence was even more unnerving. It was as if she wasn’t even aware of reality. When they arrived at Tory’s house, Isabella followed her inside.
Tory disappeared down the hall. Isabella hesitated, not wanting to be intrusive, but she couldn’t imagine leaving Tory alone in the state she was in.
She moved through the house, stopping at an open door. The room was sparsely furnished with a rocking chair and a twin bed. The walls were light blue, and there was a wallpaper strip of colorful alphabet blocks running along the top.
Tory sat in the rocking chair, her arms wrapped around a stuffed white teddy bear. “A friend of mine gave me this bear the first time I got pregnant. She didn’t know it was a good idea to wait three months before sending any presents. Neither did I.”
“Do you want me to call your mom or Nick?”
Tory shook her head. “No.” Her mouth trembled, more tears slipping out of her eyes. She brushed them away as she rocked in the chair. “When we bought the house six years ago, Steve said this would make a perfect baby’s room. We could plant a garden and put in one of those rock waterfalls in the yard. Then we would sit in here and look out the window and rock our baby to sleep. It was the most beautiful image, and I’ve carried it around in my head all these years. We got this chair the second time I got pregnant. When I made it one week past three months, we thought we were out of the woods. But we weren’t.” She took a breath. “It’s never going to happen for me. I won’t be a mother. I have to find a way to accept it.”
Isabella had no idea
what to say in the face of such raw pain, but she had to try. “Even though this adoption didn’t work out, you’ll have another chance. You’re young, Tory. There’s still time to have a family.”
“Is there? I don’t even know if I still have a husband. The past few years, I became obsessed with having a child. After the first two miscarriages, nothing happened for almost three years. So we tried in-vitro. I gave myself injections, spent a lot of money, and it didn’t work. When Steve brought up Annie’s baby and her situation, it was the first time I’d ever considered giving up on having my own child and adopting.” She took a minute and then continued.
“After we talked to Annie, I became really hopeful. She’s a sweet girl, and we hit it off. When I put my hand on her stomach and I felt the baby move, I thought it was the best decision I could make. I knew there were other couples who wanted the baby, too, and that the father was unknown, but once I felt that little kick, I was hooked. He was going to be my baby. How stupid was that?”
Isabella felt helpless. The woman was breaking apart in front of her; she needed to get someone to help.
“I’ll be right back,” she said.
Tory didn’t reply, just kept rocking back and forth, her gaze on the window, probably focused on that beautiful image she had in her head.
Isabella rifled through Tory’s purse, found her cell phone, and punched in Nick’s number. Glancing down at her watch, she wondered if he was still on the beach. The phone rang so many times she was about to give up hope, when Nick answered in a breathless voice.
“Tory?” he asked.
“No, it’s Isabella. I’m at her house, and she’s really upset, Nick. I know you’re busy at the beach, but we ran into Charlotte with the baby, and I think Tory is having some kind of breakdown.”
“I’ll be right there,” he said immediately.
Nick never paused when someone was in trouble, she thought as she set Tory’s phone down. He just acted. It made her wonder why she was so hesitant to get involved with her own visions. Maybe she needed some of his courage.
At Hidden Falls (Angel's Bay Novel) Page 23
