Cocktails & Dreams

by Autumn Markus

  As she rode up to the administrative offices, she breathed deeply, trying to calm her nerves. “Professional, professional, professional,” she muttered to herself. She felt a fleeting instant of anger toward Nicholas, and was immediately ashamed. No matter how personally repelled she felt at having to approach her boss like this, it wasn’t Nick’s fault. Still…

  She kicked her heel into the side of the elevator and let a rush of frustration course through her. It wasn’t his fault, but maybe it was hers. If she knew Nicholas better, knew his family before they’d gotten into…whatever they were into…so deeply, maybe she could have predicted his father’s distaste for her. Maybe she could have done something so that he didn’t feel that way. Maybe she could have walked away before any of this was necessary.

  No.

  Judging by the way her chest ached when she even thought about losing Nicholas, that wasn’t a real possibility. Not if she wanted to keep breathing in and out. She would talk to Dr. Call, everything would be okay, and she’d go on with life with Nick. She couldn’t think of anything else happening.

  The elevator door opened, and Jena walked down the hall to Call’s office, preparing a smile for his secretary, who informed her that the doctor could see her in a moment. Jena took a seat and fought off the next wave of doubt. What if she went through all of this, and things didn’t work out between her and Nicholas? What if the easy, natural way they had together was due to sex, and once that was old hat, he was gone? What if—

  “Dr. Call can see you now.” The secretary smiled again, and Jena jumped to her feet.

  “Please have a seat.” Dr. Call’s voice was deep and smooth as he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. “How can I help you, Jena?”

  Jena concentrated on Nick’s face, and sent up a silent prayer that she was doing the right thing. “Dr. Call—” she began, glancing up to see his genuine smile and was encouraged to continue. Taking a deep breath, she started again. “This is potentially embarrassing for both of us, so I apologize in advance.”

  His perfect eyebrows drew down slightly. “All right. Continue,” he said, his tone neutral.

  “I’m seeing Nicholas Cooper,” Jena blurted out. She smoothed her hands over her thighs and tried to calm her pounding heart. Professional, Jena. “You knew that of course, from the brunch.” She flashed Call a weak smile, and he nodded for her to continue. She hesitated, and then decided to get it out there. “For some reason, his father has taken a dislike to me, and I wanted to be sure that would not impact my career, given your relationship with him. I don’t mean to imply that you are biased, but…I really like what I do. And I’m good at it. And I know you have the power to help or hurt me professionally. I wanted to be upfront about this, and I hope like hell that this was an unnecessary appointment.” She felt stronger the longer she talked. “Please tell me if I need to transfer to a different school, while I might still be able to get in at the beginning of the next term.”

  Dr. Call was quiet, studying Jena before he answered. “I talked to Will Cooper just recently in fact.” Jena’s heart plunged to her shoes. Dr. Call looked out his office window; he appeared to be choosing his words carefully. “He’s worried about his son, Jena. Medical school is cruelly difficult without any other distractions at the best of times.” He sighed and turned back to her, looking tired now. “People find this hard to believe, but there is a reason for that difficulty. As doctors, we often have the power of life or death in our hands. We hope to God that we’ll never have to make a medical decision under extreme pressure…but it can happen any time, and the excuse of ‘I was tired’ doesn’t mean much to a grieving family if we make a mistake. So we train these kids to think well and quickly under pressure, no matter how much sleep they’ve gotten or what kind of things are going on in their real lives. Does that make sense?”

  Jena nodded, and he continued. “What I think Will has forgotten is that our older students sometimes find the transition more difficult than the kids right out of school. They do better with something solid outside of the hospital, because they’re wise enough to know we don’t own them, damn it.” He leaned back in his chair. “What he’s got right is that those relationships can be tricky. If they get unstable…” He sighed. “A doctor’s wife, especially a young doctor’s wife, spends a lot of time alone, Jena.”

  An immediate flush suffused her face. “We—I mean that’s not—we haven’t talked—”

  Dr. Call held up one hand to stop the word vomit. “Understood. I’ve overstepped.” He smiled. “You have nothing to worry about, Jena. You’re good at your job, and I’m glad to have you at the PT center. I appreciate your forthrightness about this. You’ve got character.”

  He rose and came around the desk, sitting on the edge and folding his arms across his chest. “That was as your boss. On a more personal note, let me give you a little more invasive advice. Will Cooper can be a difficult man, but he’s not vicious, and he loves his son very much. Give him time, Jena. He’ll come around.”

  Jena sighed, thinking of Dr. Cooper’s trick with Sofia, and wondered if Dr. Call knew his friend quite as well as he thought he did. “I hope so. Thanks for meeting with me, Dr. Call.”

  “No problem.” He waved her toward the door. “Go home and take care of my med student.” He picked up the phone on his desk and winked. “I hear that he’s doing much better lately. You wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?”

  Jena smiled and waved, shutting the door quietly before walking to the elevator. Fishing her phone out of her bag, she heard the loud buzz that indicated a new text as soon as she turned it back on:

  Emergency. Call you later? I want to hear about your meeting.

  Coming so soon after Dr. Call’s warning, Nick’s text made her smile wryly. After responding positively, Jena impulsively called Leisa and arranged to meet her at a local restaurant.

  She just had time to order a drink when Leisa bustled up to the table and tossed her jacket on the seat across from Jena.

  Leisa hugged her before she slid into the booth. “God, it seems like I haven’t seen you in forever, Jena.” She pushed her hair away from her face and smiled, her eyes sharp as she searched Jena’s face. “And how’s Dr. Drunk? I’m glad he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning.”

  Jena laughed. “So am I.”

  “After all, necrophilia is illegal, I hear,” Leisa said placidly, ignoring Jena’s groan as she pulled her glasses down to the tip of her nose so she could stare at Jena over them. “I also hear that things are noisy around your way. Wanna tell me all about it?”

  “Not in your wildest dreams.”

  “Well, damn. Guess I’m stuck hearing about work.” Leisa sighed dramatically and turned toward the grinning waiter that stood waiting for their order.

  Two hours, two enchiladas, a bowl of chips, and several drinks later, they had moved beyond shoptalk and insults and into relationships. Leisa shook her head slowly as Jena related the details of her meeting with Dr. Call.

  “Bad news, chica,” she said sympathetically. “What are you going to tell Nick about his dad talking about him with your boss?”

  Jena made a snap decision. “Nothing. He knows that I was meeting with Call about my job. The rest of it would just upset him for nothing.” She swallowed her amaretto sour and tried to convince herself that she’d decided correctly.

  Leaning back in her seat, Leisa toyed with the stem of her margarita glass. “Jen…I’d never ask this without the evil and delicious Patron coursing through my veins…but is all this drama worth it?”

  Jena abruptly stopped chewing the ice she’d just shaken into her mouth. “What do you mean, Leisa? Is it worth saving my job? Absolutely.”

  “No…” Leisa said slowly. “No, you were right about facing that head on. What I meant was…well, Nick.” She glanced up at Jena’s shocked face and winced. “We’ve known each other for a lot of years, so I’m going to be straight with you. Don’t get me wrong, Jen, he’s great, but is it se
rious enough to go through this? Especially given all the crap from Stevie’s? There are a lot of great lays out there, still unexplored.”

  Jena swallowed hard, her mind whirling. “Is that what you think, Leisa? That this is all about sex? Damn!” She turned to grab her jacket off the seat next to her, conveniently ignoring her own anxiety about that very thing just earlier that day, but was stopped by Leisa’s iron grip on her wrist.

  “Hold up, Jena!” she said. Jena turned back around, and looked pointedly at Leisa’s hand. “Seriously, sit down.” She held on until Jena had settled back. “I’m sorry if I’ve misread things. I’m just—what is he to you?”

  A myriad of memories spun through Jena’s brain: dancing with Nicholas when she was just eighteen, him teasing her about her love for stupid movies (most of which he could quote as well as she could), the argument about Hemingway they’d had just the week before, his look of quiet intensity as she described an injury whose treatment was evading her, and the suggestions he made that had made all the difference, the way he held her while they slept…the naked emotion in his eyes when she caught him looking at her unawares, and the way her own heart responded.

  She leaned forward. “Everything, Leisa. He means everything to me,” she said urgently. “I know caring so much is stupid, but…” She searched for words.

  “Hey,” Leisa said quietly. Jena met her eyes with a look of mute pleading, hoping she could be understood without words. “I get it. I really do. Can you forgive me for still reserving judgment about him, though? He scared the hell out of us that night.”

  Jena sighed. “Me, too. I can’t help loving him, though.”

  “‘Loving’?” Leisa opened her mouth in exaggerated shock, and laughed when Jena tossed a chip at her. “At least you’re not risking everything for just a great ass.” She skated her eyes toward a waiter two tables over, who was crouched to pick up a dropped fork. “Like that one. Oh my gah…I’d like to take a bite out of that.”

  Jena was laughing when she picked up her vibrating phone. “Hello?”

  She could hardly hear Travis’s voice over the cacophony in the bar. “As much as I adore hearing about your true love, Jen,” he said with a long-suffering tone, “I called to tell you to tell my true love to hang up her damn butt-dialed phone. I’ve been screaming my head off, but she obviously can’t hear me through all the lust.”

  Jena handed the phone to Leisa, grinning as Leisa started her twisty verbal dance to get herself out of trouble. Jena looked around the room as Leisa murmured into the phone, wishing that Nick was sitting beside her instead of racing around the hospital again. A tiny smile played around her lips as she recalled Call’s warning that a doctor’s wife spent a lot of time alone…not that she was even thinking along those lines…still…

  Leisa waved a hand in Jena’s face and then tossed her the phone when she was sure she had her friend’s attention. “That looked like an interesting thought, Jen,” she said with a smile. She grabbed her coat and the check. “On me. I have to go reassure my man about his ass.” She shook her head. “He puts so much faith in those ‘perfect jeans,’ I hate crushing his little world. Need a ride home?”

  After a quick hug in the parking lot and a promise to get together more often, Jena headed home. She’d barely dropped her bag on the chair beside the door when her phone rang.

  “Hey, beautiful. How was dinner?” Nicholas sounded tired after his nearly eighteen-hour day. “Did your mouth have anything funny to say that I missed?”

  “Like I’d give you ammunition to tease me, Cooper. But, as a matter of fact, Leisa provided the evening’s amusement for once.” Jena kicked off her shoes and flopped on the couch as she closed the door behind her.

  Nicholas laughed hard at Leisa’s being caught perving the waiter. “Serves her right. I wish I could’ve been there to see it.” He sounded refreshed after his laughter. “I missed you today.”

  “Me, too. But I suppose we’d better get used to it. Dr. Call informed me earlier that spending social occasions alone is the lot of the doctor’s wife.” As soon as the word left her mouth, Jena wished for the millionth time in her life that she would learn to think before she spoke. “Girlfriend. Significant other. Partner.” She flopped her head against the back of the couch. “This isn’t awkward or anything. Can I have a do-over?”

  Nicholas chuckled. “Not necessary. I get what you meant.”

  “Good.” Jena curled her legs under her. “When are you coming home?”

  “Home. I like the sound of that.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “Anyway, I won’t be out of here for a while.”

  “Come to me whatever time you’re finished, Nicholas.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that. This has been a crap night. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.” His pager went off and he growled. “I’d better get back.”

  “Sure. I’ll be waiting.” She yawned and laughed. “Probably asleep, but the intent will be there.”

  “You’d better be asleep. I have plans for tomorrow morning that require you to be well-rested.” He laughed. “And, Jena? I have no objections to any of the relationship terms you used before.” And he was gone.

  Holy crap. Did he really mean that? The thought thrilled and terrified her in equal measure. If someone had told her six months ago that a college-crush and a one-nighter would lead to hints of a future with Nick, Jena would have laughed in their face. Now, though…she grinned as her eyeslids drooped closed, remembering her first, early-morning glimpse of Nicholas that had started it all: his broad smile and twinkling eyes as stepped aboard the bus, laughing at the gawking freshman that she had been. Memory slipped into dream, and she slept.

  The quiet beeping of the alarm awakened Jena gradually, and she reached over to click it off before it woke Nicholas. She could feel the slow, steady thumping of his heart under her hand and smiled as she rose up to rest on the opposite elbow, studying him. Her dream brought college-Nicholas strongly back in her memory, and she compared that to the man sleeping beside her.

  His face was different from the young, half-formed face of dream Nicholas. That boy was beautiful, but the man whose fingers were entwined with hers was so much better. The hair that tumbled over his forehead was shorter and darker because he spent much less time outdoors than he could when he was younger, and the fine lines around his eyes and heavier beard took him beyond pretty and made him truly handsome. His shoulders had broadened and his chest thickened in the last seven years, making him even more attractive. In sleep, the slight lines of tension that typically marked his face were gone, and Jena shifted a little so she could trace the relaxed line of his jaw.

  She sighed and brushed her lips against his shoulder, hating to wake him up and see the lines deepen around his mouth and the tired set of his shoulders as he sat up and mentally prepared himself for the day.

  The minute speeding up of his heart let Jena know Nicholas was awake an instant before he spoke. “If you keep staring like that, I’ll have to start charging admission.” His lashes opened, and his eyes smiled into hers. “Hi.”

  Jena untangled her fingers from his and smoothed his hair back from his forehead. “If you charged every time someone stared, Nicholas, you’d be a rich man.” He rolled his eyes, and she leaned in to kiss him. “You could have paid for a year of college from how often I stared at you at crew practice when you weren’t looking. What time did you get in last night?”

  “This morning, you mean.” He yawned. “About three. Luckily, surgical rotation allows a little more sleep than other rotations, so I don’t have to be back in until ten.” His eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned. “Is crew what you were dreaming about last night?” She dropped her face on his shoulder, blushing, as he chuckled. “It must have been a good one. I was being so quiet, trying not to wake you up, and then you started whimpering and saying my name…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “I couldn’t resist when you started rubbing against me.” He laughed. “Why couldn’t you hav
e done that in college?”

  Jena raised her head. “Would you have liked it?”

  “Hell, yes.” Nicholas looked at Jena from the corner of his eye and grinned. “So, what was your dream about?” Jena shook her head, covering her face with her hands. “C’mon. I actively participated, so I have a right to know.” He tugged on her wrists. “Was it sex in the boathouse? I thought about that a lot. Definite spank bank material.”

  Jena shrieked, flopping down and burying her head under a pillow. “You’re not supposed to ask about dreams, Nicholas. They’re private. It’s like asking about fantasies.”

  “We’ll get to them later.”

  “What if you don’t like what you hear? It’s a big risk.”

  “If this morning was any indication, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Nick kissed her shoulder, laughing. “I didn’t hear any names other than mine, so don’t tell me any different.”

  Jena raised the pillow and kissed his hair. “You’re safe. You’re my dream and my fantasy.” She snorted. “How gagging sweet is that?”

  Nicholas captured her mouth in a slow kiss. “Perfect answer,” he murmured. “Thank you.” He laid his head on her chest, and they were quiet for a minute. “Okay,” he finally said, “I answered a question, so now it’s your turn. Why did you leave that morning after the New Year’s party?”

  “Duh. You’re my dream and my fantasy.” He looked up, his brow furrowed in confusion. “Okay, look at it from my perspective, Nicholas. I’d had a massive crush on this unattainable guy—you—for years, and the fantasy suddenly becomes real, right?”

  “I’m with you so far, except I wasn’t unattainable.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t know that. So, what if you woke up, and it was awkward? Or you were disgusted? The fantasy is ruined. Until you woke up, it could be perfect. I like perfect.”

  “Okay, but what if I was thrilled when I woke up? I would have been, though I can’t deny that it might have been a little awkward at first. You could have stuck around to find out.”