cut to corridor outside sylvia'j room. There is a sign on the door saying, always enter smiling! Frankenstein and little are about to enter.
little: She's in there?
Frankenstein: Every part of her that isn't downstairs.
little: And everybody obeys this sign, I'm sure.
Frankenstein: Part of the therapy. We treat the whole patient here.
gloria comes from the room, closes the door tightly, then bursts into noisy tears.
Frankenstein (to gloria, disgusted): Oh, for crying out loud. And what is this?
gloria: Let her die, Dr. Frankenstein. For the love of God, let her die! little: This is her nurse?
Frankenstein: She hasn't got brains enough to be a nurse. She is a lousy beautician. A hundred bucks a week she makes—just to take care of one woman's face and hair. (To gloria) You blew it, honeybunch. You're through. gloria: What?
Frankenstein: Pick up your check and scram. gloria: I'm her closest friend.
Frankenstein: Some friend! You just asked me to knock her off. gloria: In the name of mercy, yes, I did.
Frankenstein: You're that sure there's a heaven, eh? You want to send her right up there so she can get her wings and harp. gloria: I know there's a hell. I've seen it. It's in there, and you're its great inventor.
Frankenstein (stung, letting a moment pass before replying): Christ—the things people say sometimes gloria: It's time somebody who loves her spoke up. Frankenstein: Love.
gloria: You wouldn't know what that is.
Frankenstein: Love. (More to himself than to her) Do I have a wife? No. Do I have a mistress? No. I have loved only two women in my life—my mother and that woman in there. I wasn't able to save my mother from death. I had just graduated from medical school and my mother was dying of cancer of the everything. "OK, wise guy," I said to myself, "you're such a hot-shot doctor from Heidelberg, now, let's see you save your mother from death." And everybody told me there wasn't anything I could do for her, and I said, "I don't give a damn. I'm gonna do something anyway." And they finally decided I was nuts and they put me in a crazyhouse for a little while. When I got out, she was dead—the way all the wise men said she had to be. What those wise men didn't know was all the wonderful things machinery could do—and neither did I, but I was gonna find out. So I went to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and I studied mechanical engineering and electrical engineering and chemical engineering for six long years. I lived in an attic. I ate two-day-old bread and the kind of cheese they put in mousetraps. When I got out of MIT, I said to myself, "OK, boy—it's just barely possible now that you're the only guy on earth with the proper education to practice 20th century medicine." I went to work for the Curley Clinic in Boston. They brought in this woman who was beautiful on the outside and a mess on the inside. She was the image of my mother. She was the widow of a man who had left her five-hundred million dollars. She didn't have any relatives. The wise men said again, "This lady's gotta die." And I said to them, "Shut up and listen. I'm gonna tell you what we're gonna do."
Silence.
little: That's—that's quite a story.
Frankenstein: It's a story about love. (To gloria) That love story started years and years before you were born, you great lover, you. And it's still going on.
gloria: Last month, she asked me to bring her a pistol so she could shoot herself.
Frankenstein: You think I don't know that? (Jerking a thumb at little) Last month, she wrote him a letter and said, "Bring me some cyanide, doctor, if you're a doctor with any heart at all."
little (startled): You knew that. You—you read her mail?
Frankenstein: So we'll know what she's really feeling. She might try to fool us sometime—just pretend to be happy. I told you about the bum transistor last month. We maybe wouldn't have known anything was wrong if we hadn't read her mail and listened to what she was saying to lame-brains like this one here. (Feeling challenged) Look—you go in there all by yourself. Stay as long as you want, ask her anything. Then you come back out and tell me the truth: Is that a happy woman in there, or is that a woman in hell?
little (hesitating): I—
Frankenstein: Go on in! I got some more things to say to this young lady —to Miss Mercy Killing of the Year. I'd like to show her a body that's been in a casket for a couple of years sometime—let her see how pretty death is, this thing she wants for her friend.
little gropes for something to say, finally mimes his wish to be fair to everyone. He enters the patient's room, cut to room, sylvia is alone, faced away from the door.
sylvia: Who's that?
little: A friend—somebody you wrote a letter to.
sylvia: That could be anybody. Can I see you, please? (little obliges. She looks him over with growing affection.) Dr. Little—family doctor from Vermont.
little (bowing slightly): Mrs. Lovejoy—how are you today? sylvia: Did you bring me cyanide? little: No.
sylvia: I wouldn't take it today. It's such a lovely day. I wouldn't want to miss it, or tomorrow, either. Did you come on a snow-white horse? little: In a blue Oldsmobile.
sylvia: What about your patients, who love and need you so? little: Another doctor is covering for me. I'm taking a week off. sylvia: Not on my account. little: No.
sylvia: Because I'm fine. You can see what wonderful hands I'm in. little: Yes.
sylvia: One thing I don't need is another doctor. little: Right.
Pause.
sylvia: I do wish I had somebody to talk to about death, though. You've seen a lot of it, I suppose. little: Some.
sylvia: And it was a blessing for some of them—when they died?
little: I've heard that said.
sylvia: But you don't say so yourself.
little: It's not a professional thing for a doctor to say, Mrs. Lovejoy. sylvia: Why have other people said that certain deaths have been a blessing?
little: Because of the pain the patient was in, because he couldn't be cured at any price—at any price within his means. Or because the patient was a vegetable, had lost his mind and couldn't get it back.
sylvia: At any price.
little: As far as I know, it is not now possible to beg, borrow or steal an artificial mind for someone who's lost one. If I asked Dr. Frankenstein about it, he might tell me that it's the coming thing.
Pause.
sylvia: It is the coming thing. little: He's told you so?
sylvia: I asked him yesterday what would happen if my brain started to go. He was serene. He said I wasn't to worry my pretty little head about that. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," he told me. (Pause) Oh, God, the bridges I've crossed!
cut to room full of organs, as before, swift is at his console. Frankenstein and little enter.
Frankenstein: You've made the grand tour and now here you are back at the beginning.
little: And I still have to say what I said at the beginning: "My God—oh, my God."
Frankenstein: It's gonna be a little tough going back to the aspirin-and-laxative trade after this, eh? little: Yes. (Pause) What's the cheapest thing here? Frankenstein: The simplest thing. It's the goddamn pump. little: What does a heart go for these days?
Frankenstein: Sixty thousand dollars. There are cheaper ones and more expensive ones. The cheap ones are junk. The expensive ones are jewelry. little: And how many are sold a year now? Frankenstein: Six hundred, give or take a few. little: Give one, that's life. Take one, that's death. Frankenstein: If the trouble is the heart. It's lucky if you have trouble that cheap. (To swift) Hey, Tom—put her to sleep so he can see how the day ends around here. swift: It's twenty minutes ahead of time.
Frankenstein: What's the difference? We put her to sleep for twenty minutes extra, she still wakes up tomorrow feeling like a million bucks, unless we got another bum transistor. little: Why don't you have a television camera aimed at her, so you can watch her on a screen?
Frankenstein: She didn't want one.
little: She gets what
she wants?
Frankenstein: She got that. What the hell do we have to watch her face for? We can look at the meters down here and find out more about her than she can know about herself. (To swift) Put her to sleep, Tom. swift (to little): It's just like slowing down a car or banking a furnace. little: Um.
Frankenstein: Tom, too, has degrees in both engineering and medicine. little: Are you tired at the end of a day, Tom?
swift: It's a good kind of tiredness—as though I'd flown a big jet from New York to Honolulu, or something like that. (Taking hold of a lever) And now we'll bring Mrs. Lovejoy in for a happy landing. (He pulls the lever gradually and the machinery slows down.) There. Frankenstein: Beautiful. little: She's asleep? Frankenstein: Like a baby.
swift: All I have to do now is wait for the night man to come on. little: Has anybody ever brought her a suicide weapon? Frankenstein: No. We wouldn't worry about it if they did. The arms are designed so she can't possibly point a gun at herself or get poison to her lips, no matter how she tries. That was Tom's stroke of genius. little: Congratulations.
Alarm bell rings. Light flashes.
Frankenstein: Who could that be? (To little) Somebody just went into her room. We better check! (To swift) Lock the door up there, Tom—so whoever it is, we got 'em. (swiftpushes a button that locks door upstairs. To little) You come with me.
cut to patient's room, sylvia is asleep, snoring gently, gloria has just sneaked in. She looks around furtively, takes a revolver from her purse, makes sure it's loaded, then hides it in sylvia'j knitting bag. She is barely finished when Frankenstein and little enter breathlessly, Frankenstein opening the door with a key.
Frankenstein: What's this?
gloria: I left my watch up here. (Pointing to watch) I've got it now. Frankenstein: Thought I told you never to come into this building again. gloria: I won't.
Frankenstein (to little): You keep her right there. I'm gonna check things over. Maybe there's been a little huggery buggery. (To gloria) How would you like to be in court for attempted murder, eh? (Into microphone) Tom? Can you hear me? swift (voice from squawk box on wall): I hear you. Frankenstein: Wake her up again. I gotta give her a check. swift: Cock-a-doodle-doo.
Machinery can be heard speeding up below, sylvia opens her eyes, sweetly dazed.
sylvia (to Frankenstein): Good morning, Norbert. Frankenstein: How do you feel?
sylvia: The way I always feel when I wake up—fine—vaguely at sea.
Gloria! Good morning! gloria: Good morning.
sylvia: Dr. Little! You're staying another day?
Frankenstein: It isn't morning. We'll put you back to sleep in a minute. sylvia: I'm sick again? Frankenstein: I don't think so.
sylvia: I'm going to have to have another operation? Frankenstein: Calm down, calm down. (He takes an opthalmoscope from his pocket)
sylvia: How can I be calm when I think about another operation? Frankenstein (into microphone): Tom—give her some tranquilizers. swift (squawk box): Coming up.
sylvia: What else do I have to lose? My ears? My hair?
Frankenstein: You'll be calm in a minute.
sylvia: My eyes? My eyes, Norbert—are they going next?
Frankenstein (to gloria): Oh, boy, baby doll—will you look what you've done? (Into microphone) Where the hell are those tranquilizers? swift: Should be taking effect just about now.
sylvia: Oh, well. It doesn't matter. (As Frankenstein examines her eyes) It is my eyes, isn't it? Frankenstein: It isn't your anything. sylvia: Easy come, easy go. Frankenstein: You're healthy as a horse. sylvia: I'm sure somebody manufactures excellent eyes. Frankenstein: RCA makes a damn good eye, but we aren't gonna buy one for a while yet. (He backs away, satisfied) Everything's all right up here. (To gloria) Lucky for you. sylvia: I love it when friends of mine are lucky.
swift: Put her to sleep again?
Frankenstein: Not yet. I want to check a couple of things down there. swift: Roger and out.
cut to little, gloria and Frankenstein entering the machinery room minutes later, swift is at the console.
swift: Night man's late.
Frankenstein: He's got troubles at home. You want a good piece of advice, boy? Don't ever get married. (He scrutinizes meter after meter) gloria (appalled by her surroundings): My God—oh, my God— little: You've never seen this before? gloria: No.
Frankenstein: She was the great hair specialist. We took care of everything else—everything but the hair. (The reading on a meter puzzles him.) What's this? (He socks the meter, which then gives him the proper reading) that's more like it. gloria (emptily): Science.
Frankenstein: What did you think it was like down here? gloria: I was afraid to think. Now I can see why.
Frankenstein: You got any scientific background at all—any way of appreciating even slightly what you're seeing here? gloria: I flunked earth science twice in high school. Frankenstein: What do they teach in beauty college? gloria: Dumb things for dumb people. How to paint a face. How to curl or uncurl hair. How to cut hair. How to dye hair. Fingernails. Toenails in the summertime. Frankenstein: I suppose you're gonna crack off about this place after you get out of here—gonna tell people all the crazy stuff that goes on. gloria: Maybe.
Frankenstein: Just remember this. You haven't got the brains or the education to talk about any aspect of our operation. Right? gloria: Maybe.
Frankenstein: What will you say to the outside world? gloria: Nothing very complicated—just that. . . . frankenstein: Yes?
gloria: That you have the head of a dead woman connected to a lot of machinery, and you play with it all day long, and you aren't married or anything, and that's all you do.
freeze scene as a still photograph, fade to black, fade in same still. Figures begin to move.
Frankenstein (aghast) How can you call her dead? She reads the Ladies' Home Journal! She talks! She knits! She writes letters to pen pals all over the world!
gloria: She's like some horrible fortunetelling machine in a penny arcade. Frankenstein: I thought you loved her.
gloria: Every so often, I see a tiny little spark of what she used to be. I love that spark. Most people say they love her for her courage. What's that courage worth, when it comes from down here? You could turn a few faucets and switches down here and she'd be volunteering to fly a rocket ship to the moon. But no matter what you do down here, that little spark goes on thinking. "For the love of God—somebody get me out of here!"
Frankenstein (glancing at the console): Dr. Swift—is that microphone open? swift: Yeah. (Snapping his fingers) I'm sorry.
Frankenstein: Leave it open. (To gloria) She's heard every word you've said. How does that make you feel? gloria: She can hear me now?
Frankenstein: Run off at the mouth some more. You're saving me a lot of trouble. Now I won't have to explain to her what sort of friend you really were and why I gave you the old heave-ho. gloria (drawing nearer to the microphone): Mrs. Lovejoy? swift (reporting what he has heard on the microphones): She says, "What is it, dear?"
gloria: There's a loaded revolver in your knitting bag, Mrs. Lovejoy—in
case you don't want to live anymore. Frankenstein (not in the least worried about the pistol but filled with contempt and disgust for gloria): You total imbecile. Where did you get a pistol? gloria: From a mail-order house in Chicago. They had an ad in True Romances.
Frankenstein: They sell guns to crazy broads.
gloria: I could have had a bazooka if I'd wanted one. Fourteen-ninety- eight.
Frankenstein: I am going to get that pistol now and it is going to be
exhibit A at your trial. (He leaves) little (to swift): Shouldn't you put the patient to sleep? swift: There's no way she can hurt herself. gloria (to little): What does he mean?
little: Her arms are fixed so she can't point a gun at herself, gloria {sickened): They even thought of that.
cut to sylvia's room. Frankenstein is entering, sylvia is holding the pistol thoughtfully.
Frankenstein: Nice pla
ythings you have.
sylvia: You mustn't get mad at Gloria, Norbert. I asked her for this. I begged her for this.
Frankenstein: Last month.
sylvia: Yes.
Frankenstein: But everything is better now.
sylvia: Everything but the spark.
Frankenstein: Spark?
sylvia: The spark that Gloria says she loves—the tiny spark of what I used to be. As happy as I am right now, that spark is begging me to take this gun and put it out.
Frankenstein: And what is your reply?
sylvia: I am going to do it, Norbert. This is goodbye. (She tries every which way to aim the gun at herself fails and fails, while Frankenstein stands calmly by) That's no accident, is it?
Frankenstein: We very much don't want you to hurt yourself. We love you, too.
sylvia: And how much longer must I live like this? I've never dared ask before.
Frankenstein: I would have to pull a figure out of a hat.
sylvia: Maybe you'd better not. {Pause) Did you pull one out of a hat?
Frankenstein: At least five hundred years.
Silence.
sylvia: So I will still be alive—long after you are gone?
Frankenstein: Now is the time, my dear Sylvia, to tell you something I have wanted to tell you for years. Every organ downstairs has the capacity to take care of two human beings instead of one. And the plumbing and wiring have been designed so that a second human being can be hooked up in two shakes of a lamb's tail. {Silence) Do you understand what I am saying to you, Sylvia? {Silence. Passionately) Sylvia! I will be that second human being! Talk about marriage! Talk about great love stories from past! Your kidney will be my kidney! Your liver will be my liver! Your heart will be my heart! Your ups will be my ups and your downs will be my downs! We will live in such perfect harmony, Sylvia, that the gods themselves will tear out their hair in envy! sylvia: This is what you want? Frankenstein: More than anything in this world.
The Ultimate Frankenstein Page 8
