Sara arrived while the doctor was giving strict orders for Emily to stay in bed for the next two weeks. Sara now took over and lovingly enfolded Emily in her arms, stroking her hair with tenderness. Sara’s sad face and red-rimmed eyes spoke volumes about her daughter’s loss to Crystal.
“She needs her rest now, Mrs. Johnson.” Dr. Gibbons snapped his bag shut, indicating he had done all he could this day. It was apparent that he wished to speak to the others in private. They understood and followed him out of the room, where Luke was stoking a crackling fire that filled the small room with warmth.
The doctor wasted no time with small talk. “Most people die with miscarriages at this stage, but I was able to deliver the afterbirth to allay infection. Thank God I was able to get here so soon.” He ran his hand through his hair.
“I don’t know how to thank you, Doc,” Jube said.
“No need, friend. I’ll come back to check on her later this week. If you need anything, you just send for me.” After giving Sara instructions on mixing laudanum for Emily’s pain, the kind doctor left.
What a long day, Crystal thought. She had an ache in her shoulders that matched the one in her heart. She thought it best that she and Luke leave the small cabin so that the family could have their privacy, but not until she looked in on Emily.
She was propped up on two pillows, and her smile was very weak when Crystal sat on the edge of the bed.
“Crystal . . . thank you.”
“Shh . . . don’t thank me, thank God that you’re going to be okay. You just get your rest now and do as your mother says, okay?”
“Maybe I’ll never have children, Crystal . . .”
“Don’t think about that right now. I’m sure you will.”
“But why didn’t I get to keep this baby?” Tears started filling her blue eyes again.
“Honey, I wish I could answer that. Only the good Lord knows why you lost this baby . . . but I do know your baby is in Jesus’s arms right now. You’ll have a baby when the time is right, and it will be a healthy baby too. But you’re exhausted. I’ll pray for you to regain your strength in a hurry. I’m going now so you can get your rest, and we’ll talk again later. I’ll leave you in your mother’s care, and there’s no better place to be.”
Emily’s swollen eyes were already heavy now with the dose of laudanum the doctor had administered. Crystal stood, bent down to smooth the quilt over Emily, and quietly tiptoed out.
Snow had been falling all day and had accumulated four inches more atop the snow that fell earlier in the week. When the snow made the going slow on their horses, Luke began to talk in a quiet voice about life and death and the sadness of it all.
“You know, when Curly died, I started thinking . . . I always knew there was a God, but I didn’t know He cared about me in a personal way. I listened to you and Curly talking that night about the stars and God’s handiwork, and then the next day Curly was dead.” Luke’s voice cracked with emotion.
Crystal strained to hear what he said next, sensing his openness to talk about his feelings.
“I couldn’t get it off my mind. Then I really started paying attention to what Reverend Alden had to say. It began to make sense. Although Kate always took me to church, she never forced her belief in Jesus on me. I guess she was letting me make up my own mind . . .”
“And did you?” Crystal held her breath.
Luke stopped his horse. Crystal did likewise, heedless of the biting wind and snow.
“Remember the day of the bazaar? That was the day I broke up with April. I had certainly made a mess of things. That very night I asked God to forgive me for my past mistakes and be a part of my life from then on. I figured if it was good enough for Curly, then it was good enough for me.”
Crystal’s heart quickened. She looked across the distance separating them and into Luke’s piercing blue eyes, hardly able to believe what she’d just heard. “Oh, Luke. That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time. You will not regret making that decision.”
“Well, there has to be more to life besides ranching. But I don’t have it all figured out yet. Then today with Emily losing her baby . . . well, it was hard. I had to believe Someone other than me is in control of our lives, or it just plain wouldn’t make sense.”
“I don’t understand everything either, Luke. But that’s a good place to start.” Crystal nudged Bess to follow Luke as they made their way through the new drifts of snow. While Crystal was thrilled about this new piece of news, it didn’t change the fact that she would have to leave the ranch. Her eyes misted over when she thought of leaving Luke, and she felt a knot in her chest. Once he found out the ranch was his, he wouldn’t have to pretend with her anymore. He could court whomever he liked.
Crystal was weary by the time they reached the ranch, and it was already dark. The sun had gone down behind the mountain range, and Crystal was cold through and through. Rusty was in the kitchen, keeping supper hot for them.
“How’s Emily?” Rusty met them with hot cups of coffee and took their coats while they stood next to the fire.
“She lost the baby . . .” Crystal’s voice trailed off. This was her first experience with babies and pregnancy, let alone the death of a baby. Her heart felt heavy, and she turned to heat her backside, noting the sadness flicker across Rusty’s face.
“Aw . . . that’s just too bad.” He scratched his red head. “I kept a little supper hot. I’ll dish it up while you two warm yourselves, and then you can tell me all about it.”
“Thanks, Rusty.” Luke took his hat off and threw his gloves inside it. His forehead bore a hatband mark, and his thick dark hair was matted down. If Crystal hadn’t been so sad, she would have made a teasing comment, but she knew now was not the time for lightheartedness.
“I was proud of you today, Crystal,” Luke said huskily. “I know that was not something you expected you’d ever have to do.”
“Thank you, Luke. I was scared. It was the good Lord that got me through it. I feel so terrible for Jube and Emily.”
“You delivered Emily’s baby?” Rusty blinked with surprise, just about dropping the biscuits he was carrying to the table.
“Well, let’s just say, I did all I could until the doctor arrived, but Luke was a big help. I wish I could have done more.”
“She did all that was humanly possible,” Luke told Rusty.
They sat at the small kitchen table, and Rusty poured more coffee and poked at the fire a few times while the two of them ate. He reminded Crystal so much of her aunt, always bustling around attending to everyone’s needs. That made Crystal think of the letter she had read earlier. Had that just been today? It seemed like days ago. Tomorrow, when she was rested, she would figure out where she would go and what she would do.
Luke was quiet, dipping his biscuit in his coffee. Before, this kind of habit would have driven her crazy, but now Crystal thought it endearing. He looked up, and his eyes searched hers. What was he thinking?
Wait until he finds out he owns the ranch.
She would tell him first thing in the morning after breakfast, after everyone else went about their ranch duties. She was too weary to mention it in front of Rusty, because she knew he would ask a lot of questions. Right now she didn’t want to talk about that. The only thing she wanted to do was get into her warm gown and robe and just sit by the fire, to be alone with her thoughts tonight.
Luke excused himself and headed off to the bunkhouse, and that made Crystal feel worse. She knew that this was his house, and if not for her, he could be sleeping in a nice, comfortable bed instead of sharing a bunkhouse with Kurt and Rusty.
She and Rusty carried the dishes to the sink. “You just go make yourself comfortable, and I’ll clean up the kitchen. That’s one thing I’m good at.” Rusty started on the plates and scraped them clean.
“Rusty, how well do you know Luke?” Crystal asked.
“Well . . . let’s see now, he came here as a fourteen-year-old boy as far as I can remember, and
his parents were Kate’s closest friends. They lived on the Blue River. Why?”
When Crystal hesitated, he asked, “Is something on your mind besides Emily tonight?” He didn’t look up but continued with his chore.
“A lot of things. Were his parents good people?”
“They were for a fact, missy. Why do you ask?”
“He told me tonight that he had asked God into his heart the night of the bazaar.”
“Does that surprise you?” He stacked the clean plates on a fresh towel to dry.
“I guess . . . We had a big fight yesterday, and he didn’t act so Christian.”
“Crystal, you don’t go pulling up your carrots from the garden to see if they’re growing and then shove them back in the ground, do you? Give him time to grow. His faith is new, not that he was ever a bad person to begin with. Luke wants to do the right thing, and he’s a man of his word.”
“I guess my own faith has grown since my daddy died and then Aunt Kate. I know I have a lot more to learn too. I don’t know why I should expect so much of others when I’m not being the best that I can be either.”
Rusty gave her a quick, fatherly hug. “That’s human nature, missy. You are doing fine, what with having to find your own way and all. Just let the good Lord above be first, and everything else will fall into place.” Rusty set the last dish on the towel. “Now, as for me, that last dish is done. Can’t wait for Carmen to get back,” he said good-naturedly. “I’m off to bed. See you in the mornin’.”
After a restless night going over the day’s events and the letter from her aunt, Crystal knew what she must do. Once the men had had breakfast and set about their chores, she pulled her suitcase out of the closet and started packing the most needed items. Later, when she knew where she would be staying, she would send for her trunk.
She would miss the life here that she had come to know. Maybe she should have left when her aunt died.
Crystal picked up the columbine pin and tucked it between the folds of her clothes. She had no animosity toward Luke because Kate hadn’t left the ranch to her. Now she just felt embarrassment that she had given orders to the cowboys as if she owned the place and had decided to take over without ever giving legal ownership a second thought. It just never occurred to her.
Her first stop would be Franklin’s Mercantile. She would ask Mary if she could use some help in the store and perhaps find a room at the boardinghouse.
Crystal dragged the case into the front room. She would see if Rusty would drive her to Steamboat. Tiny snowflakes began to fall, and it was bitterly cold. She went back to fetch the letter from her aunt to give to Luke before leaving, and she was just getting ready to go find Rusty when Luke knocked on the door and walked in.
“Crystal, I’m going to ride up to the line cabin later and check on Emily—” He stopped dead in his tracks. “You going somewhere?”
Crystal swallowed hard. “I’m going to see if Rusty will drive me into Steamboat this morning.”
“Whatever for? It’s still snowing.” He raised an eyebrow and frowned.
She moved around him with a snap to her step. “It’s best that I leave, Luke.”
“Crystal, what are you talking about? What do you mean, leave? Permanently?”
She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Luke, I have something for you.” Crystal handed him the envelope that held the letter from the attorney. She watched him unfold the parchment and read it. Her mouth went dry, and she waited for his anger to descend on her like a thundercloud.
He shifted his hips, making his spurs jangle softly. “When were you going to tell me?” His voice was stern, but his steady blue eyes were kind. Before she could answer, he asked, “How long have you known?”
“I found out yesterday, right before we left for Emily’s. There just wasn’t a time to tell you.”
“So, you were just gonna up and leave?”
“This place belongs to you, Luke. I have no right here.” Crystal couldn’t meet his gaze.
Luke took a step closer. “Don’t leave . . . I knew about the deed when the trail drive ended in Denver.”
“What! And you never said anything?” Crystal’s heart was pounding in her ears.
“I wanted to, but I didn’t because I figured you’d go back to Georgia.”
“But how could you not tell me? Especially after I made a complete fool of myself that night at the skating party, saying you wanted to marry me in order to own the ranch.” Hot anger flashed over Crystal. She stepped away from him and jerked her coat off the peg, nearly pulling the rack right off the wall.
Luke placed a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry. I thought if you knew the place rightfully belonged to me, you would leave and go back to Georgia and Drew.”
“Instead, for months you let me dictate orders to you and the cowboys, when I had no right to?” Crystal was shaking now. Her conscience pricked her. She knew her indignation was not warranted. She knew if she looked straight into his eyes, she would crumble.
Luke took her coat and hung it back on the peg and reached for her trembling hands. His callused hands were warm as he caressed hers. “Crystal . . .” His voice was low and husky. “Please look at me.”
Crystal slowly lifted her eyes to look at Luke’s pleading blue ones. His nearness made it difficult to breathe. “I’m so embarrassed that I just assumed a role that I was not entitled to. What will everyone think?”
“It doesn’t matter what they think as long as we set it straight. They won’t care, believe me. They love you, and you have treated us all like family. Just like Kate did. I wouldn’t have expected any less.” Luke continued to hold her hands. “I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to protect you. Don’t you see? I don’t care about the ranch, I care about you, and I don’t think I could live without you if you left. I realized that fact on the trail drive, and that’s why I had to break it off with April. I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through since you came here. And I’m sorry for all your losses you had in Georgia. I’m sorry for that smart comment about Drew too. If you’d let me, I’d like to take away that loneliness you have. I want us to be real partners, Crystal, if you’ll have me. I’ve already been praying about this, and I believe we would have God’s blessing.”
“Oh, Luke, I’m sorry too,” she whispered. “I was afraid that you really wanted Aspengold instead of me. I have judged you wrongly.”
His fingers reached up to graze her face, and he pulled her to his chest. Crystal welcomed his embrace and encircled his back with her arms. She was right where she’d always wanted to be since the first day she’d met him. Thank you, God. You’ve kept the best for last.
Crystal pulled back and turned her face up to him, inviting a kiss. Luke was so tall that he had to lean down and lift her up to kiss her. Crystal had waited months for this kiss. A flicker of passion quickened deep within her heart as she returned his kiss. His moustache tickled her upper lip, and she giggled and pulled back for air, breathless.
“You are so beautiful, Crystal, inside and out. I love you and cannot bear thinking of spending one day of my life without you.” Luke set her feet back on the floor. His eyes shone, full of love and expectation.
“I love you too, Luke. But you know I can’t cook very well. Are you sure about this?” Crystal laughed, but she seriously wanted to know if he loved her with all her flaws.
“That’s one of the things I love about you—your honesty and humor. Don’t ever change. I love everything about you.” He pulled her to him and crushed his lips against hers again. “Don’t guess I’ll ever get that fried chicken?”
“Together we might have fun learning how to whip up a whole dinner on the church grounds.” She reached up to touch his eyebrow with her thumb. “Yes, I think it’ll be fun to live in the Wild West.”
25
A black-crested, brilliant blue Steller’s jay swooped down and perched on the ledge of an open window of the little white church, as though called to be a witness of the ceremony taking pl
ace inside. The day couldn’t be a more perfect one on this pristine June afternoon. Despite a chilly start, it had warmed to an agreeable temperature. Luke couldn’t be happier than he was at this moment. He surveyed the small room and smiled to see so many in attendance.
Guests crammed the pews. Friends, cowboys, farmers of the Yampa Valley, and merchants from Steamboat had driven miles, excited to be a part of this happy occasion. Emily, now expecting again, sat with Jube’s arm curled protectively around her shoulders. Luke nodded at them. He was tickled for them and prayed that God would protect this child. Kurt sat with the Johnsons. Everyone Luke cared about was here, except Kate and Curly, and he felt his eyes sting at the thought.
He was surprised to see the McBride family present. April was sitting between her parents, and Josh was next to his mother. Crystal insisted on inviting them. Luke guessed that April didn’t want to miss any social event if there were eligible men present. When he had run into her in Steamboat, he’d talked to her, but she had been cool toward him. Luke didn’t wish her any ill will. He hoped one day she could find happiness, and he prayed God would change her heart.
The organ music started playing the wedding march, and Luke and Reverend Alden turned to face the back of the church, awaiting the moment Crystal would walk down the aisle.
Carmen entered in a green gown. Hadn’t he seen that somewhere?
Even though it was a mild day, Luke was sweating beneath his necktie and vest. His nervousness took him by surprise. He’d waited all winter for this very moment.
He had stayed in the bunkhouse, despite Crystal’s offer to move into a hotel, and had spent a lot of time with Rusty, fixing up the log house when weather permitted. Crystal had decided that she and Luke would move into her aunt’s larger room once they were married, so Rusty had helped her clean the room and get it ready for the couple. Luke had wanted to make sure that he and Crystal would have free time to get to know each other more and, who knows, maybe start a family.
No Place for a Lady (Heart of the West Book #1): A Novel Page 23
