“Fire,” Lauren answered, rubbing her hands together for warmth.
“Yeah, but how?” Scarlett’s eyes were wide as if she opened them far enough, she could see all the answers.
“I don’t know, but he thinks I did it.”
“You? That’s crazy.”
Lauren felt the tears come back, and Scarlett must have noticed because she wrapped her friend into a tight, sisterly hug. “It’s not your fault,” she whispered into Lauren’s hair. “Shane Ramsey became a monster after he lost his wife and daughter. Everyone says so. Sure, they all put up with him, because he’s great at what he does, but nobody likes being around him anymore. He treat—“
“Wait.” Lauren pulled back to study Scarlett’s face, which was mottled with red from the cold air. “What did you just say?”
“Nobody like’s Shane anymore,” she said matter-of-factly and with a small shrug.
“About the… the wife and d-daughter?” Lauren didn’t know if the cold was causing her stutter or if it was something more, something to do with her feelings for Shane.
Scarlett waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, I thought you knew about that. Have you really been living with the guy for over a month without learning anything about him?”
“Believe me, I’ve tried, but he’s so closed off most of the time.”
“Well, I don’t know the particulars. Just that it was a nasty divorce, and after that, Shane always had a chip on his shoulder and meanness in his heart.”
“What about his daughter?” Scarlett ventured, still in shock over this big reveal.
“I don’t know for sure. People say he was deemed an unfit father and lost custody.”
“Poor Shane,” Lauren said as his sad face swum into the vision of her memory. If only he’d told her. If only.
Scarlett seemed to feel differently about it, though. “It sucks, but it doesn’t give him the right to take it out on the world. He made his own mistakes, and now he’s living with the consequences. None of what happened is your fault.”
“I know, but—”
“But nothing. Him kicking you out in the middle of the night is totally unacceptable. I always liked to think the rumors were exaggerated. I mean, how can anyone so good-looking on the outside be so ugly on the inside?”
Lauren shook her head, at a loss for words. How she wished Shane would have just told her all this himself. She could have reassured him that he was a good person, that sometimes life threw you a curve ball, but it didn’t mean you were out of the game.
“Anyway,” Scarlett said, “let’s get out of here. Put this whole thing behind you. You can stay with me as long as you’d like, of course.”
Lauren let out her breath in little puffs, refusing to cry, refusing to wonder what could have happened if things were different. She turned to her friend. “Thank you, I really appreciate that.”
“Hey, it’s what friends do.” Scarlett put her arm over Lauren’s shoulders as they walked to her car that idled in the driveway.
Lauren looked back toward the cabin one last time. This simple wooded structure had once held her hopes, dreams, even the sweet buds of love. She’d foolishly assumed this backdrop could serve as the setting to her forever, but now she realized her affection for Shane had always been one-sided.
Simply put, she loved him, because there wasn’t anyone else to love in this isolated place. No, her feelings hadn’t been real, and his had only been alive in her foolish, naive imagination. It was good—right—to leave.
She silently got into the car and refused to watch as Scarlett backed up and drove her far, far away from Shane Ramsey and hopefully from her feelings toward him as well.
By the time Lauren woke up the next day, Scarlett had already left for work. She found this out by way of the bright yellow sticky note pinned to the cork board by the fridge.
At work. See you tonight, roomie!
XOX
Scar
Lauren checked the clock on the microwave. Nearly one o’clock in the afternoon here meant that, due to the four-hour time difference, her friends back in New York would just now be getting off from work. Should she call Joanna Brocklehurst to beg for her old data entry job back? Or would it be better if Lauren closed her eyes and pointed to a random spot on the map, then headed there to start her new life… for a second time.
She had enough money from the sale of her father’s house to pick up and start over, but was it what she wanted?
For that matter, what would her father do in this situation? Indeed, he had found himself in a similar place back when Lauren was little. He’d picked them up and moved them to their life in New York without a word of their former life in Alaska, but he’d also hung on to all these old articles and other mementos for years.
Did he regret that decision? Would she regret making a similar one?
She had to figure this out—and quickly. She hated to impose on Scarlett’s kindness for any longer than necessary. Maybe one of her old high school friends could give Lauren a couch to crash on while she worked out the details on moving to a new city, new state, new Lauren.
Scrolling through her contacts, she searched for the friend most likely to be able and willing to help. Many of her classmates had stayed in their hometown, and most of them had even gotten married and started families of their own. They’d plotted their entire lives’ courses, while Lauren didn’t even know where she’d be for her next chapter.
Feeling like a complete failure, she decided to call her old friend, Helen, who had been their student body president during their junior and senior years. Helen would have the means to help along with plenty of advice. Maybe Lauren should just hand over control of her life to someone better suited. Someone like Helen.
Her friend answered after a few long, painful rings.
“Helen, it’s me, Lauren.”
“Hey, Laur.” Helen sounded distracted, but didn’t let on as to why. “I heard about your father. I’m so sorry. I wanted to be at the funeral, but I was in Paris for an internship and I just couldn’t make it back with such short notice. I hope you understand.”
“That’s okay,” Lauren reassured her, hoping that she didn’t feel so guilty she’d refuse to offer any help now. “Really. I was so messed up I wouldn’t have remembered seeing you there anyway.”
“So what’s going on now? I stopped by your house only to find you sold it in a hurry. Oh, by the way, the new neighbors there—well, I guess they’re not your neighbors, are they?—the new people who live there, they gave me some of the mail that’s come for you and your father. There’s a lot of it. A package, too. Haven’t you given a forward address to the post office yet?” Helen’s voice dripped with condescension. Ahh, yes, that was why Lauren hadn’t kept better touch with her after graduation.
“Shoot, I left in such a hurry, I didn’t even think to do that.”
“It’s quite all right. I can send everything your way. Give me your address?”
Talking to Helen gave Lauren the clarity she needed, but not the solution she expected. Now she knew there would be no going back, only going forward. New York wasn’t her home anymore, but she could still give Anchorage a chance.
She rummaged through the mail on Scarlett’s desk until she found an envelope with her friend’s address scrawled on the front. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, but if I move, my friend can get everything to me,” she explained before carefully reciting the address for Helen.
“It’s like post office hot potato,” Helen quipped. “What are you doing all the way up in Alaska?”
“I don’t know,” Lauren answered honestly. “But I’m going to figure it out soon enough.”
“Well, call if you need anything else, okay?” She wondered if her friend really meant that and prayed she wouldn’t be forced to find out later.
“I will,” Lauren promised, and the two old friends said goodbye.
No sooner had she ended the call then a new voicemail notification popped up on her pho
ne. She didn’t recognize the number but could tell it was local because of the Alaskan state area code.
Lauren put her phone on speaker and clicked play.
“Hello, Lauren,” a vaguely familiar woman’s voice greeted her. “This is Mr. Ramsey’s neighbor, Mary Fairbanks. We met a couple months ago? Anyway, Mr. Ramsey has asked me to give you a call and get your new address. He wants to send you a check for your pay. I have it right here.” There was a rustling of papers as Mary paused. “It’s a sizable amount, so you’ll definitely be wanting it. Mr. Ramsey said it was unfortunate that he needed to let you go, but he wanted to make sure you were paid for the whole year.”
Mary took a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t know what you did to the man, but he’s even more ornery than usual today. Called me at the crack of dawn, insisting I come over and help tend to the dogs. He’s lucky I’m retired, or he’d be clear out of luck. It’s not my place to judge, dear, but I think it’s generally customary to provide two weeks’ notice. Anyway, call me back so we can get this whole thing sorted.”
Lauren listened as the woman rattled off her phone number and then hung up the phone. She’d call her back later, when it was less likely she’d have to speak to Mary instead of her voicemail program.
She understood why Shane hadn’t called himself but wished he had.
“Can I keep you forever?” Scarlett asked with a laugh before taking a big bite of the salmon Lauren had prepared for their dinner that night.
Scarlett’s eyes grew wide as the flavors hit her tongue. “I mean it,” she gushed, using her hand to cover her mouth so she could talk and eat at the same time. “I am keeping you, whether you like it or not.”
“Sure, you can keep me, but I kind of need a job,” Lauren answered with a huge smile.
“What’s so wrong with being my stay-at-home roommate? I almost never get to eat like this unless I visit my parents in the lower forty-eight.”
Lauren rolled her eyes but secretly loved that Scarlett already found her indispensable. She hadn’t managed that with Shane in more than a month, but somehow, it had taken less than a day with her new roomie. Isn’t this the way things were supposed to be?
“You know…” Scarlett dragged a spoonful of aioli across her salmon filet, slathering the entire surface as she chattered on. “I’m sure we could find you something at the library.”
“Me? A librarian?” Lauren’s voice squeaked with excitement at this idea. “That would be super cool.”
“Not exactly.” Scarlett took a quick sip of water before continuing. “I mean, you need a master’s degree in library sciences for that, but you said you studied English, right?”
Lauren nodded, eager to hear more.
Scarlett bobbed her head as if in agreement with herself. “Yeah. Yeah, we’ll manage something. Or, maybe I could introduce you around U of A, see if any of the professors need a research assistant.”
“Why are you so amazing?”
Scarlett flushed. “Me? No. Actually, you’re the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in years.”
“I am?”
Scarlett nodded so vigorously that she choked on her rice pilaf. She banged on her chest, coughed, and then continued eating. Lauren wished she could eat the way her new friend did and remain stick thin. Lauren had never been a stick and, these days, she was downright Amazonian with all the extra muscle she’d put on running Shane’s dogs.
Scarlett took a few long gulps of water before explaining. “So I grew up in Texas, a tiny town world famous for its apples. Anyway, I’d always known I wanted to be a librarian, so I went where they had a job for me.”
“To Loussac?” Lauren said, recalling their first meeting over the microfiche.
“To Loussac. And right away, I knew I’d found my home. I fell in love with everything about this place—the nature, the people, the history, and especially the Iditarod.”
Lauren shook her head in awe. “How old are you, Scar? You can’t be much older than me, and I’m just twenty-five.”
Scarlett waggled four fingers at Lauren. “I’ll be thirty next year. But, anyway, that’s not the point. The point, is I fell in love with dog racing every bit as much as I’ve always loved my books. I read about it, studied it, watched it, but I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I could actually maybe do it for myself. That is, until you came along.”
Lauren laughed in disbelief. “What did I do?”
“You were just you, Lauren, and that was enough. You came to the library that day, coming to the sport with no background, working for one of the most infamous men in the business, and when you told me you did it all on a whim? You blew my mind a little.”
“I did?”
“You did. I’ve always planned and plotted my life so carefully, done the things you’re supposed to do, not necessarily the things I wanted to do. But then, I thought, she’s doing it, so why can’t you do it, too?”
Lauren glanced around the small apartment which housed a noticeable absence of dogs.
“Oh no. Not yet. A tiger can’t change its stripes overnight, but I did put in for a sabbatical, so that maybe next season, I can…” She blushed and set her fork down beside the empty place. “I can be a musher, too. You inspired me to follow my dreams, and that makes you my favorite person in basically the whole wide world.”
“I’m not part of that world anymore. Shane fired me. Well, I kind of quit, kind of got fired. Point is, it’s not what I’m doing any longer.”
“But your father…” Scarlett blushed and the color overtook her entire face. “It’s who you are,” she finished.
Lauren sighed. “I’m starting to wonder if I really knew my father at all. He kept such a big part of himself hidden from me, and I’m no closer to learning why he quit or why he kept this huge secret for so many years.”
Scarlett carried their plates to the sink and began to scrub at the dishes. “Well, tell you what. As much as I love having you stay home and cook for me, come to the library with me tomorrow. I’ll set you up with some more research materials, and you can have the whole day to learn more about your family’s history. The answers are out there. You just have to keep looking, and I’ll help, too.”
“Scarlett, that’s so nice. Thank you.”
“Hey, no need to thank me. It’s what friends do. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Lauren said, returning the fist bump Scarlett offered. So this is what it felt like to be wanted, accepted, and appreciated. None of these were things she’d felt while living with Shane—at least, not for longer than a few moments at a time.
Being here with Scarlett was right. She’d made a friend for life. The rest would come in time.
Lauren left the library the following afternoon having learned many things. She’d learned that Iditarod was named for the Ingalik word Halditarod, which meant “distant place,” and that the most winningest musher of all time was Rick Swenson, whose fifth and final victory had taken place in 1991—meaning, Lauren supposed, that her father had raced against him at one time. She knew that in the early 90’s, people were proud of their mullets and high tops.
But what she hadn’t learned was anything new about her father.
Scarlett invited her back for the following day, but the more Lauren researched without uncovering any additional clues, the more it felt like she would never know the man her father had been—not during his racing years, and not in the years since.
The betrayal stung anew. She’d confided her first crush in him, told him schoolyard secrets she otherwise only entrusted to her Lisa Frank diary, even confessed when she’d stolen the fancy feather pen from Heather McEntyre’s desk. But he’d kept years of his life from her.
Years!
Did the secret-keeping stop when he’d left the sport, or had he hidden other things as well? Her father could have been living a dual life for all she knew, and here he’d been her entire life and world.
“Chin up,” Scarlett said as she pulled into the carport. “W
e’ll figure out what happened. I promise.”
“We?” Lauren asked with a sniff.
“Of course, we. You think I would leave you alone in this? No way. Let me use my librarian super powers to help you find the truth. I can get you more books, more primary sources, even normally off-limit stuff.” Her friend squealed as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. “Oh, it’s going to be so much fun!”
Lauren felt her tears turn to laughter as she followed Scarlett back into the apartment building.
“Books, and databases, and microfiche, oh my!” Scarlett sang as she linked her arm in Lauren’s. “We’re off to discover the secrets, the surprising secrets of… Lauren’s dad.”
More laughter rang out as the two women skipped up the stairs, still arm and arm, and Scarlett continued her Wizard of Oz parody. “We hear he was a—Oh, hello!”
Being taller than Lauren, Scarlett spotted the figure sitting on the floor outside their door a second before her friend as the two climbed the stairs. There, pushed back against the wall with his crutches propped neatly beside him, sat her former employer, Shane Ramsey. He lifted his chin and widened his eyes as the women approached, but neither smiled nor frowned, hiding his true feelings just as well as ever.
“I’ll just go get started on dinner,” Scarlett said, letting herself into the apartment and gently shutting the door behind her.
“What are you doing here?” Lauren remained standing because it felt like it gave her more control of the situation, that at any moment she could make a run for it if she needed.
“Come home, Lauren,” he said. “I made a mistake. I need you.”
She wasn’t sure which part was nicer to hear—or which made her angrier.
“We can’t keep doing this,” she said, crossing her arms and staring down at him with the coldest expression she could muster. “You’re yanking me around like I’m some kind of toy. It’s not right.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. You deserve better than that.”
Let There Be Love: The Sled Dog Series, Book 1 Page 9
