“Then I’ll have to like you enough for both of us until you can catch up. Now kiss me again.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Slowly, she felt the tension leave his body, the pain leave his heart. It would take many more loving words and kind caresses to cure Shane of the damage he’d suffered, but Lauren would be there, waiting, ready.
A few days passed. On each of them, Isabel came by the cabin, pounding and screaming at the door. Lauren had half a mind to set the dogs loose on her, but each time, she let herself out instead, calmly explaining that Shane would file his response shortly, and that Isabel would be the first to know when it had happened.
This was not news Isabel wanted to hear, which is probably why she continued to harass Shane through the door, day after day. And as much as she hated to see it, Lauren could tell that Shane was crumbling.
“Maybe I should just sign,” he said after Isabel had paid them a visit that day.
“If you give up now, then you’re just as crazy as she is. Maybe even more.” Lauren plopped into his lap and looked him straight in the eye, which was especially easy considering their faces lined up perfectly in this position. “Shane, this is your daughter.”
“I know. That’s why I’m considering signing.” He ran his fingers through her hair, not removing his gaze from hers for even a second. “What if Rosie actually loves this new guy? What if he’ll be a good father to her, and I’m ruining that? I wasn’t there for her when I had the chance, and now it’s too late.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Remember how my mom and I reconciled after more than twenty years apart? Good thing she’s coming over tonight. She can remind you herself and tell you how stupid it would be to walk away from that relationship.” Lauren gave him a quick kiss and left Shane alone to his thoughts.
Sure enough, Barb came early for dinner that night, eagerly offering to help with the prep work. “I worked as a cook for many years,” she explained while expertly julienning a carrot. “The moment I was no longer pretty enough to bring in the really big tips, they moved me to the back of the house. Lucky for me, I liked it there. And so that’s where I stayed until I decided it was time to move back to my home state.”
“Lauren’s a great cook, too,” Shane said, wrapping his arms around her from behind as she washed the lettuce for their salad. “I bet you have lots of things in common and don’t even realize it yet.”
Lauren turned her face to the side and accepted a kiss on the cheek from Shane. “I bet it’s that way with you and Rosie, too.”
At hearing the little girl’s name, Briar’s ears perked up and she let out a low whine.
“See?” Lauren said, shaking him off and scrambling over to comfort the poor dog. “She hasn’t given up yet, and neither should you.”
“Giving up?” Barb asked, washing her hands and drying them on a plain white tea towel. “Do you have a daughter, Shane?”
“Her name is Rosie, and she’s seven,” he explained. “I haven’t seen her for more than three years.”
“Well, why on earth not?”
Shane looked to Lauren. “You haven’t told her yet?” he asked, referring to the fact that Barb and Lauren had talked on the phone every night that week.
Lauren returned to the other side of the kitchen and poked Shane in the chest, standing on tiptoe to look more authoritative despite her small stature. “Why should I tell her your business? That’s your job.”
“She’s not wrong,” Barb said with a chuckle, turning on the gas over the stove and adding some butter to a cast iron skillet. “So, Shane, tell me about your daughter,” she said as she shifted the melting butter to and fro to cover the entire surface of the pan.
Shane’s eyes lit up as he told the women about Rose’s obsession with all things pink, the way she jumped into his arms every night when he came in from working the dogs, and how her favorite bedtime story was about Clifford, the Big Red Dog. “That’s how she was three years ago,” he finished. “I don’t know what she’s like now. We only just learned that I still have partial custody.”
Barb nodded along as he shared each memory. When he’d finished sharing, she said, “Now, tell me why you’re willing to give up the chance to find out.”
He shrugged and shrunk back from the stove. “Because I messed up. I don’t deserve the chance to know her now.”
“But you deserve to have your arms wrapped around my daughter, here in this kitchen?” Barb said with a wink.
“Trust me,” Lauren said, dragging her fingers through Shane’s hair. “That took a lot of convincing.”
“Honey, listen to this washed up has-been. No reason out there is good enough to give up your little girl. Not a single one.” The butter in the pan crackled and began to turn brown. Barb reached for the onions Lauren had chopped earlier and dumped them into the skillet.
Shane sighed and walked toward the table with the aid of his cane. “Maybe, but—”
“But nothing! If you play it stupid now, you could find yourself one day not-so-slowly dying from cancer and wondering if your girl has forgiven you enough to take a chance on meeting you.”
“If you’re not there,” Lauren said softly. “Isabel can tell Rosie anything she wants, and Rosie will believe her, just like I believed my dad.”
Barb nodded as she grabbed a hunk of ginger from the fridge. “Is that what you want? For your daughter to know you only through what someone else has to say? Or would you rather have a real relationship?”
Shane carefully lowered himself into the wooden chair. “But how?”
“Just like I did: give her the chance. Don’t decide for your daughter whether or not she wants you in your life. She’s far too young for that. Just be there. Show her it’s never too late to apologize for your mistakes. Show her what a strong man looks like and what a good man does for his family.”
He nodded as if suddenly the things Lauren had been telling him for days made perfect sense when explained by someone with a bit more experience on the matter. “And then?”
“Then the rest is up to her, my dear.”
With convincing from both Lauren and Barb, Shane at last agreed that he would fight for his daughter.
Predictably, Isabel was none too pleased to hear this. “This changes nothing. Tom and I will move her to the lower forty-eight. Then you won’t be able to see her anyway. I know you won’t take time away from your precious dogs, and you know you were never cut out to be a father in the first place.”
“Stay strong,” Lauren reminded him each time Isabel came around. “Your daughter deserves to have at least one sane parent in her life.”
Shane laughed. “Believe it or not, Isabel is actually a great mom. She’s just a terrible wife, person, and everything else you can think of. It’s the only reason why I was so close to giving up.”
“But you won’t?” Lauren said, crossing her arms. Hadn’t they already been through this a million times?
“I won’t,” he confirmed. “Actually, I already reached out to my lawyer, and he’s setting up a renewed custody hearing. He’s even working on a clause that says Isabel can’t move more than a couple hundred miles away from me.” Shane stopped and frowned.
“That’s great news,” Lauren exclaimed. “So why the long face, fella?” She playfully pushed his chin to the side with her fist, but he still didn’t smile.
“The date they gave us is the same day as your big race.”
“So? Who cares?” she blurted.
“I care,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I want to be there for your big day.”
“No way are you missing that court date.”
“I could reschedule for a later—”
“No, absolutely not! Shane, there will be other races, but you only have one daughter.”
He continued to sulk, and it made Lauren upset with him. Could he honestly be considering undoing all the progress he’d made toward getting his daughter back over some stupid race that he wasn’t even running in?
; “You’ll need my help to get the dogs set up, and—”
She placed a finger to his lips to quiet him. “And nothing. I can call Scarlett in to be my handler. She’ll love that. And afterward, we can all go out to dinner to celebrate your custody decision and my big win.”
Shane laughed and kissed her finger. “I love how you think. And I love you, too.”
“Finally!” Lauren said with an exaggerated huff. “I was beginning to think you’d never tell me.”
He looked confused. “What? That I love you? I’ve told you before, haven’t I?”
Lauren shook her head with a smile. “Nope, that was the first time. Now if you don’t mind, I’d love to hear it again.”
“You’re so bossy,” he said, reaching down to nip her lower lip. “But it’s true. I love you, Lauren Dalton.”
“And I love you, too, Mr. Grump.”
He pressed his forehead to hers and took in a deep breath. “You know I actually believe you when you say that,” he said.
Lauren playfully hit him in the shoulder. “Hey!”
“Hey, nothing. I never quite believed Isabel. It was something in the way she said it, like there was this hesitation.”
“Don’t get me started on that witch,” Lauren said, practically baring her teeth.
Shane continued to smile despite the unsettling change of topic. “When I win the right to custody, you’ll be seeing a lot more of her. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know.” She shrugged it off, but his eyes remained curious as he watched and waited for her to reveal some secret truth. Frankly, the two of them had already been through enough secret truths to last a lifetime.
“Is that okay?” he asked slowly, and she rolled her eyes at him, then smiled so he would know she meant her words, every single one of them.
“Of course it’s okay, because I still get you.”
He brought his face close to hers and brushed his eyelids against hers. “I’m not sure why you think I’m such a catch, but I’m glad you do.”
“I do. I really, really do.”
Their faces remained close, and she felt each syllable caress her lips as they left his. “Then, tell me, will you still love me even if I lose?”
She nodded slightly and said, “I would love you harder, because you’d need it more.”
“What if I never get better? Would you love me then?” His voice hitched on this question, and Lauren pulled back to study his face.
“That doesn’t sound like a hypothetical, Shane. Is there something you need to tell me?”
His eyes seemed to quaver, as if the tremor he sometimes had in his hands had moved north. His voice came out rough, like every word had to fight to get through. “I’m not getting better, Lauren. Eventually I might be able to walk unassisted, but there’s no way my knees could deal with the strain of being back behind a sled.”
“But you love this!”
“I love you more,” he murmured.
“Shane, no. You can have both me and the dogs. It doesn’t have to be a choice.”
He shook his head, and the first tear spilled onto his cheek. “It’s not a choice. When they dragged me in after the accident, the doctors told me there was a fifty-fifty shot I’d ever even walk again. So far, I’ve been on the lucky side of that equation, figuring I could push my luck even further if I kept trying to force my body into some sort of miracle recovery. It’s time I finally accepted the truth, don’t you think? I’m not a musher anymore, and that’s okay.”
“What makes it okay that you’re losing one of the things you love most in this world?” she continued to argue, losing steam as she did.
“Because I have you, Lauren.”
“Some consolation prize I am.”
Shane cupped her cheeks in his palms and turned her face toward his. “Lauren, you’re everything I ever wanted but never dared to hope for. When the time is right and everything is settled with Isabel and Rose, I’m going to marry you, and you’re going to take my place on the sled.”
Lauren practically had to press the rewind button to make sure she’d heard him right. Only, regrettably, there was not remote control when it came to her life. “Wait, what? That’s a lot of information to take in at once! Did you just propose to me?”
Merriment danced in his storm blue eyes. “I guess I did. Not the smoothest of proposals, huh?”
Lauren laughed. “You didn’t even actually ask. I’m not sure how to answer an unasked question.”
“Lauren Dalton, will you promise to love me forever? Will you take me and all that I am? Will you marry me?”
“Okay,” she said with another laugh.
“That’s your answer?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. Maybe she had inherited some of her mother’s acting skills, after all. “That’s your proposal?”
“I promise I’ll do it right one day when you aren’t expecting it,” he said, lacing both of his hands through hers and rocking them back and forth over their laps.
Lauren raised an eyebrow at him. “I’d like to see that, but don’t make me wait too long. It’s kind of awkward living here with my boyfriend, you know. My father didn’t raise me that way.”
“I wish I could have met him,” Shane said, kissing her eyelids.
“He would have loved you, Shane.”
“I already love him for having raised such an amazing daughter. My fiancée,” he said with a huge, unabashed smile. “Look, I don’t have a ring, but I will. I’ll get one. Until then, I’m giving you everything else.”
“What do you mean?”
“The dogs, the sled, the truck, the cabin. Everything.”
“You going somewhere?”
“I’m being forced into an early retirement. My racing days are over, but Lauren, yours are just beginning.”
“So?” The room started to spin. Panic. Was Shane dying, too?
But he, thankfully, put her mind at ease in the very next second. “I want you to take my place as the musher, and I want to be your handler. We’ll hire someone part-time for the tasks I can’t physically do. I once dreamed of being the greatest racer in the entire state, but it didn’t happen for me. Together, we can make sure it happens for you. Lauren, you’re incredible. You can do anything. Do you believe it?”
“I’m starting to,” she said—and that was the honest truth.
Lauren tried again to look at her watch and her eyes met with a mound of mitten instead. Shane had to be in court right now and she wished more than ever she could be at his side, lending him her support as he faced off against the horrible witch of an ex-wife.
“Yup. That’s a mitten, Lauren,” Scarlett said, waving at Lauren as she hooked in another dog. “Now focus, please. We’re just a couple starts away from our own.”
“I was just thinking about Shane and—”
“Nope, none of that, girl. It’s race time! You need to have your mind on your puppies and your puppies on your mind.” Scarlett did her best to throw up mittened gang signs, and it was the most adorably awkward thing ever.
Lauren laughed as she shook out her arms and legs to wake herself back up. “You’re right, You’re right. And I’m certainly lucky to have you here to keep me focused.”
“That’s right, you are.” Scarlett laughed, patting her friend on the shoulder as she went back for another dog.
A man with a clipboard approached. “Okay, let’s see here, we’ve got Lauren… Dalton. Is that any relation to Eddie Dalton?” the official said, marking his sheet.
Lauren nodded. “Yes. My father… He passed recently.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” The official’s eyes twinkled as he reached forward to shake her hand. “But you know, I used to watch him race, every chance I got. It’s the reason I still volunteer at these events. I’m sure he’s looking down on you right now and cheering for his little girl. And he won’t be the only one.”
Lauren could feel tears at the corners of her eyes. “Thank you, Mr… Um?”
“Benjamin. Ben Benjamin,” he said with a friendly nod. “Yup, you won’t be forgetting that one anytime soon, I’d wager.”
As he looked down at the stopwatch hanging over his thick jacket, his eyes widened and he straightened his posture. “Oh, look at that, we’ve only got two minutes until your start, so I need to go over some stuff with you. We’ve blocked off the turns you shouldn’t take and we’ve got observers at those points, just a formality. There’s a flag up about a mile from the finish. We’re encouraging mushers not to pass after the flag, but if you have to pass, you have to pass.”
Lauren nodded numbly as the facts poured over her, and she wondered yet again if she was truly cut out for this. Scarlett patted her back and told her the team was set. She looked down the line, catching the attention of Fred and Stella by the sled, the larger dogs already tensing against their harnesses.
“Ready, Fred, Stella? Hank, Wendy, Kelly, Norm, Bob, Maude, Richard, Emily? How about you two, Jack and Carol?” she called out. The dogs yipped in response and pulled tight in their harnesses, ready to leap forward at a moment’s notice.
Scarlett pulled up the snow hook and placed it on the basket before heading up to the front of the line and holding the necklines of the lead dogs. Lauren untied the tether and put her full weight on the foot brake.
Mr. Benjamin had made his way to his post and waved to her, giving her a thumbs up. She responded with a thumbs up of her own.
A sharp blast from an airhorn sounded, and Scarlett released the team in response.
Lauren hopped up off the foot brake and began running, pushing the sled like a bobsledder. “Hike! Hike! Hike!” she called out, urging the team forward.
As one, they rushed forward like a bullet from a gun, and for one terrifying moment, Lauren thought she was about to trip and fall off the sled again. But that’s not what happened. The sled picked up speed until it was out-pacing her, and she pulled against the handlebar, leaping confidently up onto the footboards.
They were moving faster than normal without Shane in the basket, but when she looked down to where he normally sat, there was a little stuffed husky staring back up at her. She laughed aloud, wishing she could call him then and there to say her thanks. Now, with the addition of her little passenger, it was as if Shane was there with her, shouting corrections and giving her advice as they went.
Let There Be Love: The Sled Dog Series, Book 1 Page 14
