Paige raised her brows, "A couple of days?" I nodded, "Well don't bother." She stepped back into her room and slammed the bedroom door behind her.
I sighed as I continued down the stairs and caught the gaze of Maggie, I hadn't realised that she was in the house.
I nodded, "How long you been home?"
"Long enough to hear what I need to," Maggie folded her arms across her chest and waited for me to continue.
"It's been a very long day already Maggie, something came up and blew me for six and I'm having a rough time dealing with it. I'm not gonna tell you what's happened, I just need a bit of space."
She slowly nodded taking everything in, "I wouldn't dream of asking you what it is that's bothering you, that's for you to share when you're ready but don't hurt the people who love you most while you're trying to figure things out."
I nodded, I'd said all that I needed to for now and Maggie seemed to understand. She stepped aside and I strolled from the living room knowing that I needed space more than ever.
I left the house in a state of confusion, I didn't know where I was heading but I knew that I needed to think about the situation and deal with it in the only way I thought best, head on.
I walked through the back streets of Epping, enjoying my time alone to clear my head but deep down I was surprised regarding how I had dealt with the situation. I knew that I'd spent the majority of my life running away from certain issues but this is one that I thought I'd react differently to.
The various abuse that I had endured over the years from people that were suppose to love and care for me, had turned me into a fucking mess. I obviously attracted these abusers somehow and wasn't sure if it was desperation to be loved or just the fact that I was a fuck up but my childhood had now moulded me into the adult I was today, and on reflection I wasn't happy with the results.
As I turned the corner into Epping high street, I noticed a familiar face across the road. Stew stood holding the hand of a little boy of around five years. My heart lurched in my chest, what the fuck was he doing with a young boy? Had he started preying on younger children? From what I knew and had heard since leaving the care system, I was of the understanding that he was only into teenage boys not little ones although things may have changed.
I felt sick, I needed to do something and act quickly before I lost sight of him. I took my phone from my pocket and dialled 101 as I crossed the road ready to press call when I saw Jazz come out of Barclays Bank and walk towards them.
My head was frazzled, what the fuck was going on. I hung back and stood in the doorway of a local charity shop to conceal myself from them. I didn't want Stew or Jazz to see me just yet, I'd make my presence known when the time was right for me and not before. I strained my ears trying to listen to what they were discussing but the traffic was too noisy.
Fuck! Why were they even meeting each other after all these years? Jazz would've left the system three possibly four years ago so she had no reason to ever see him, unless...no fucking way!
They finished their conversation and Stew bent down to kiss the little boy on the cheek. My blood boiled watching him that close to another human being let alone a small male child but I needed to find out whether my suspicions were correct before I acted. I turned around and pretended to browse the items in the shop window as he walked passed and when I knew that the coast was clear, I left the doorway of the shop and walked up the high street in the same direction as Jazz.
She was holding the little boys hand and walked slowly making sure that they didn't step on any of the cracks in the pavement. I remembered playing this game with my mum when I was a child and it brought back happy memories. I didn't have many but the one's I did have I'd cherish forever.
I followed her at a distance making sure that I wasn't seen as I didn't want to startle her in any way. We were once close friends but a great deal of time had past since I'd last seen her and I wondered if she'd even give me a warm reception after I had left her all those years ago. Jazz turned off the high street and down Tower Road, it was harder for me to follow undetected so I crossed to the other side of the road to not look so suspicious. As the road veered to the right, she crossed in front of me and headed to a lovely looking terraced house. Jazz let go of the little boys hand and rummaged around in her handbag briefly before pulling out a bundle of keys. Jazz held out her hand for the little boy to take and opened the front door before entering.
I let out a sigh and rested my back against a thin tree on the edge of someone's front garden, I had encountered a lot today and I was fighting with a variety of different emotions. I didn't know whether Stew was living in the vicinity or if he'd just come to the area to see Jazz and her child but I needed to find out and piece the puzzle together. I had many questions and the only way I was going to get any answers was to start talking to the people involved.
I took a deep breath and slowly walked up the short path and knocked on the door.
"Just a minute," I heard Jazz call from within the house.
I fidgeted with anticipation on the doorstep not knowing how I was going to start the conversation but I was also a little excited.
Jazz and I had been close and it would be great to have a catch up.
I heard movement from behind the door and then it opened. Jazz greeted me with a huge smile but as the recognition sunk in of whom I was, her eyes filled with tears and she rushed forwards to scoop me into her arms. I removed my hands from my pockets and wrapped my arms around Jazz, pulling her in tightly to give her the biggest hug I could muster.
"Oh I've missed you," she whispered and as she did, I felt a damp patch form on my shoulder. She was brought to tears just by the sight of me, which was strange but in that very moment I realised that I had actually missed her too, much more than I had realised. We were two thirds of the three amigos and it was time that we got back together.
I allowed her to hug me for as long as she needed. It didn't feel awkward at all, in fact it felt nice and this brought back a few happy memories from the time we spent together in the children's home.
Jazz eventually broke away from my hold and placed her hands onto my shoulders as she stepped back to look at me.
"It's really you," she stated smiling.
I sniggered, "It's really me Jazz."
"Well don't just stand there, please come in." She dropped her hands from my shoulders and turned on her heels. "You'll get to meet my son," she said excitedly as I followed her into the house and closed the door behind me.
"You have a beautiful home," I stated glancing around the entrance hall.
Photographs of Jazz, her son and someone who I could only assume was her partner, lined the walls in white frames. They looked happy, really happy and I was pleased that she had finally found happiness in what had been a horrible start to her life.
"Thank you," Jazz looked back over her shoulder and grinned at me. "I can't believe that you're really here, like how did you even find me?" she asked drawing her brows with confusion.
I couldn't lie to her, I needed to tell her the truth and be up front about the whole situation.
"I saw you in the high street just now."
Jazzes smile faded, "Did you see him?"
I nodded, "I did Jazz, what the fuck is going on?"
She became visibly upset and I immediately stepped forward to comfort her but the little boy came running into the room and I halted my actions.
"Mummy can I have a drink?" he asked pointing to the orange squash on the kitchen worktop.
Jazz composed herself quickly, "Of course you can little man but what do you say?"
He smiled, "Please."
"Well done," Jazz took a sippy cup from the draining board and poured a little orange squash inside before filling the rest with water from the tap. "There you go Thomas, now be a good boy and go and watch TV while I catch up with Uncle Cade."
Thomas took the cup from his mother and ran down the corridor excitedly towards the living room.
> I turned to face Jazz, "You called him Thomas."
Jazz smiled, "It seemed like a fitting tribute to such a great person."
That was just like Jazz, thoughtful in everything that she did. Lesser people would've given up if they experienced her upbringing but she was a fighter for sure.
"So are you going to fill me in regarding Thomas junior?" I had figured it out in my own head but I wanted to hear it directly from her.
"When you and Thomas left me, things didn't get any better in the home." Jazz screwed the lid onto the orange squash and picked up a cloth to wipe the surface down. "There was an investigation into Thomas' death, of course Stew and Lynn had all the correct answers and it was deemed that he committed suicide due to depression. You and I both know that was bullshit, coz he was one of the most upbeat people I had ever known but the system got to him."
I let out a sigh, didn't I just know it. The system as she put it had gotten to us all and had affected us all in a variety of different ways. A system that was put in place to protect vulnerable children had in fact created more damage than good.
"Anyway, Stew and his band of merry men changed tact soon after and turned their attention to a wider audience." Jazz turned to face me and rested her lower back against the kitchen cabinet. "They raped me and several other girls at a variety of different children's homes. Threatening us with our lives if we mentioned it to anyone, you know the same old story I've heard all of my life." Jazz folded her arms across her chest as she contemplated her next response. I moved the chair from under the kitchen table and sat down, ready to play the waiting game. I wanted her to tell me in her own time, not for me to rush her. I leant on the table resting my chin on my steapled fingers, keeping quiet hoping that she'd continue with her story.
"He decided that I was going to be his rather than passing me around the men like the other girls. I suppose that worked out better in a way for me because I at least knew who was going to be fucking me each evening."
Jazz was trying to rationalise what had happened to her, rape was rape no matter how many men did it and whether he wanted her or not.
"I fell pregnant quickly and I concealed it from him for as long as I could. I'd seen it happen to Leanne, she'd told him that she was pregnant and he made her have an abortion against her will to get rid of the evidence of the abuse. I wasn't going to be told to do that by anyone. He took my body against my will and there was no way I was allowing him to take my baby."
I could see the fire in her eyes, she was a fighter and I saw that spirit that I loved about her.
"Eventually I couldn't hide it any longer, Mrs Wright brought me into the office and read me the riot act." She smirked, "Her face was a picture when I told her that the baby was Stew's."
"You told her?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Jazz laughed, "Of course I did, and it was my one bargaining chip. She couldn't afford to have any more shit at her door coz she'd lose her job so I used this to get as much as possible from her."
Jazz waved her arms to her sides, "All this is down to her. She pulled some strings and I was able to move in here along with another kid who was coming of age. We've been here for four years now and have settled in really well."
"Are you in a relationship with the boy from the home?" I ask genuinely interested.
"No, we're just good friends but we've helped each other out. They were going to put him in a hostel miles away from where he'd found work. We lied and said that we were partners so they housed us together. Stew liked that story coz he thought it was believable and that it was more likely that I'd keep my mouth shut if I was happy."
I nodded taking everything in, "Okay but why are you allowing Stew to see Thomas?"
I couldn't get my head around the idea of her putting Thomas' safety at risk.
"Whoa, easy there partner." She raised her finger towards me, "Don't ever question my skills as a mother. I've been to hell and back many times over the years and been abused all throughout my childhood so don't ever think for one minute that I'd put him at risk."
I held my hands up, "I'm just asking a simple question Jazz don't get all defensive."
Jazz lowered her hand and licked her lips deep in thought, "Stew made contact asking to see Thomas. I thought about this long and hard before I agreed to anything but I decided that he could see him for just half an hour a month. That way no bonds can be made, he's been introduced as someone I know and that's it. I would never allow him to be alone with Stew and if he tries any funny business I'll tell the authorities." Jazz folded her arms displaying a serious expression but I was still a little unsure about the whole situation. He was clearly a predator, why would she even entertain him.
"When I saw him in the high street Jazz, he was on his own with Thomas."
Jazz looked at me with disgust, "I was only in the shop for a couple of minutes Cade."
"It only takes a couple of minutes Jazz." She was listening but she wasn't hearing and I was getting frustrated.
"To do what? Abuse him in the street?" Jazz rolled her eyes.
"No, to get him in a car and take him," I shouted back at her. She was being naive and I needed her to see him for what he was.
She raised her hand and placed it over her open mouth as her eyes began to water. I stood from my chair and made my way over to wrap her into my arms.
"Jazz you're being too trusting, he groomed you and he's still doing it now. You think that you're in control with the situation but you're not. He's good at what he does, that's why he hasn't yet been caught but you've gotta keep your wits about you hun."
Jazz sobbed in my arms, I pulled her close and held the back of her head as she unleashed her tears.
"Is Mummy okay?"
I turned as I heard the small voice coming from the hallway. "Yes she's fine Thomas, Mummy just banged her head so I'm giving her a little cuddle to make her feel better." This was the first thing that came into my head and quickly realised that if I would've said this to anyone else, it wouldn't have been believable.
Thomas nodded, "I banged my head the other day and it hurt."
"And did Mummy give you a cuddle?" I asked trying to engage him in conversation. He was a little sweetie and looked very much like Jazz.
His little face lit up, "Yep, she gives the best cuddles."
"Well there you go but there's no one to give Mummy a hug so that's why I'm doing it." I pulled her in again, letting her know that I was here for her.
"Stew gives Mummy hugs." His words stung me hard in the chest. I grabbed Jazz by the shoulders and pulled her from my chest so I could see her face.
She didn't make eye contact and I knew immediately what had been going on. I looked over my shoulder at Thomas, "Go and watch TV mate and I'll bring you a snack in a minute."
I wasn't sure if he was allowed snacks but I needed him out of the way so I could roast Jazz. His little face lit up again and he eagerly ran down the hall into the living room.
"What the actual fuck! What was all that speech about that you wouldn't put your child in any harm?"
I stepped back trying to make sense of the situation but there was none. Why the hell was she letting this paedophile into her life again?
"I can explain," she shouted back at me.
"You don't need to explain shit, you just need to give me an address." She glared at me shocked that I had asked for it.
Jazz shook her head, "I can't do it Cade."
"Yes you can and you will, coz otherwise I'll blow this out of the water by revealing everything." I spat visibly shaking with anger.
"They'd take Thomas away from me," her eyes started to water again.
I shrugged, "I don't care, you're putting him in harm's way now by seeing Stew anyway. He's probably safer with other people." I knew my words would hurt her but she needed to realise the seriousness of the situation.
"But then people would know about you also." She tried to hurt me in the only way she knew she could.
I pause
d and swallowed hard, "I don't actually care anymore Jazz. He must be up to the same old tricks if he's sniffing around your boy and I'm gonna put an end to it."
Jazz hesitated but she clearly saw that I was serious about wanting his address. She opened the kitchen drawer and fumbled around inside until she finally brought out a brown address book. With a loud sigh she opened it at a particular page and handed me the book.
"Thank you," I retrieved my phone from my pocket and took a screen shot of the page.
Jazz looked upset but she didn't carry the argument on, "Can I have your mobile number?" she asked quietly.
"Sure," I brought up my number and showed her the phone so that she could type it directly into her contacts.
"Right I better be going coz I've got things to do." I handed her back the address book and turned on my heel ready to leave.
"Cade," I heard the pleading in her voice and glanced over my shoulder. "Please don't leave like this. I've prayed for many years that you'd find me again and come back into my life, I couldn't bear it if I wasn't to see you again."
I turned to face her, "You are one special woman Jazz, I know you've been through a lot hun and I'll be here to help out as much as you want." She smiled knowing that I wasn't about to fuck off from her life, "But you've fucked up and now I need to do something that I should've done a few years ago." I turned and stomped towards the front door, "See you soon little man." I waved to Thomas as he looked up from the TV.
I stepped outside into the front garden feeling a new sense of purpose. Jazz followed me and wrapped her arms around my waist giving me an almighty squeeze.
"I've really missed you Cade."
"I've missed you too squirt," I stated before kissing her forehead. "You look after yourself and little man, and I'll be in touch soon."
Jazz smiled as she watched me turn and walk away. I'd gone for a walk earlier to clear my head but as I now walked towards the high street again, my head was buzzing with more than it was an hour ago.
Chapter 4
Chloe
"Hi, I'm just picking up my purse. I can't believe I left it here but I was in a rush this morning." I rattled on walking into the kitchen. "What's gone on mum, why are you upset?" I rushed beside her and engulfed her into my arms.
Cade (Aces MC Series Book 5.5) Page 4
