by Joan Wolf
His hair had fallen across his forehead almost to the straight black lines of his brows. His brown eyes were sober as he added, "You, on the other hand, are a remarkably self-sufficient person. You seem to need no one other than Ben and your mother."
"That's not true," she replied, feeling as if she had somehow been put down. "I need Cyrus. I need my horses and my stable. I need George."
His eyebrows flew up. "George? Who is George?"
"George is my best friend."
He scowled. "Why haven't you mentioned him to me?"
"There wasn't any reason to."
"If he's your best friend, then Ben must know him."
"Of course he does."
"You know I want to learn all about the people whom Ben knows."
Kate's patience snapped. "Don't be ridiculous. Do you expect me to make up a list of all the people whom Ben has encountered in his life and submit it to you?"
"No." She could see him making an effort to sound reasonable. "But if this man is your 'best friend,' then he must be more important to Ben than just a chance acquaintance."
Kate said conversationally, "Do you know, one of the things I have liked about you, Daniel, is that you're never stupid. Don't make me change my mind."
There was a moment of tense silence, then his face relaxed. "I'm sorry. It's just that I feel so bad that I missed the first seven years of Ben's life that I get a little carried away trying to catch up. Besides, I thought you didn't have time for a boyfriend."
"A boyfriend?" She stared at him as if this word had suddenly come out of the abyss.
"George."
She laughed with genuine delight. "George isn't my boyfriend, Daniel. He's sixty-eight years old!"
His jaw dropped. 'And he's your best friend?"
'Absolutely. I can always count on George—and he can always count on me. If that isn't being a best friend, then I don't know what is."
He gave her an odd, searching look, then said, "Sometimes I think you're the most simple person I ever met, and other times I think you're the most complicated."
"You're pretty complicated yourself," she said.
"I'm an ordinary man, but you are definitely not an ordinary woman."
He looked so serious as he said this that she didn't know how to respond. Instead she said, "Can I ask you something, Daniel?"
"Sure."
"Why is Ben so important to you?"
He looked amazed. "What kind of a question is that? He's important to me because he's my son."
She looked down at the old green blotter on her desk, and said carefully, "I can see that you would want to make sure that he is all right, and that the people raising him are good people. I can see that you would want to share some of your wealth with him. But why this obsessive need to get close to him? Most men in your situation would not feel that way."
"I am not 'most men.'"
"You just told me you are an ordinary man. Well, ordinary men would not embrace an illegitimate child the way you have embraced Ben."
He looked at her for a long moment in silence. Then he said slowly, "I will tell you why, Kata, but I don't want you to tell anyone else."
The way he pronounced her name sounded like Cotta.
"All right."
He said, "A few years ago I had mumps, and the doctors told me that I would never father a child."
There was pain in the large brown eyes regarding her, and Kate realized how hard it must be for him to reveal this information to her. He was such a splendid man, young and strong and beautiful. How it must have hurt to learn of this disability. How happy he must have been to learn of Ben.
"I see," she said quietly. "That explains it, then. I wondered."
"It is not something that is general knowledge."
She felt a sudden surge of fierce protectiveness for him. "It's nobody's business," she said. "But I'm glad you told me."
He wasn't looking at her. "What you said about my obsessive need was right. You deserved to know the truth."
"Your parents know, obviously."
"Yes." His eyes focused on the hunting paperweight on her desk. "My mother thought she would never have a grandchild. So, please, indulge her interest in Ben."
Kate nodded. She wanted to go and put her arms around him and hold him close and tell him that it didn't matter, that he would adopt children and love them as much as he loved Ben.
Good God, she thought in horror. What is wrong with me? He would hate that kind of sympathy.
She said, "I will try to be a little more . . . accommodating . . . Daniel."
"You have been very accommodating," he assured her. "The problem is not with you but with me. I never seem to have any time to spend with Ben. I'm always playing baseball!"
She laughed at the look of frustration on his face. "That's true, but the season will soon be over. What do you do when you're not playing baseball?"
"I spend some time in Colombia with my parents. I shoot some commercials. I do some charity work. I relax. It's only for a couple of months; we have to report to spring training in February."
She said with alarm, "I don't want Ben going to Colombia."
"I understand, Kata. I will keep him home in January, and drive him back and forth to school, just like a regular daddy."
"Is it really necessary for Ben to live with you during January? Why can't you simply visit him here?"
"I want to live under the same roof with him. I can't explain it, but it's very important to me."
"It's just that all of his activities are right here in Glen-dale. He'll have birthday parties to go to and things like that. It would be much more convenient not to have to keep driving him all the way from Greenwich."
'Are you inviting me to stay with you for January?"
She stared at him in surprise. The idea hadn't entered her mind. Her brows drew together as she thought it through.
It might not be a bad idea. I'm not comfortable losing custody of Ben for a month, and that wouldn't happen if Daniel stayed here. Of course, he'd be under my feet all the time.
Still, he doesn't irritate me too badly, and it sounds as if he'd have enough things to keep him busy. And Ben would be here under my eye, eating properly, getting his homework done and getting to bed at a decent hour.
She said cautiously, "Would you like to do that?"
"If it's all right with you and your mother, I would love to do that."
"You wouldn't expect me to entertain you?"
He smiled. "No. I realize you are a busy woman, Kata."
"We do have a guest room. Let me talk to Mom and get back to you about this."
"Fine." He got to his feet, looking very tall in the confined quarters of her office. "I brought a few carrots for Abraham," he said, referring to the horse he had ridden on his trail ride with Ben.
"He's out in the back paddock. I'll show you."
"There is no need to disturb yourself. I know the way. Then I have to be getting home. We fly to Atlanta this afternoon."
"Well... if you're sure."
He nodded. "Go back to your bookkeeping, or whatever it was that you were doing."
"Good luck in tomorrow's game. When do you pitch next?"
"Wednesday, when we come back to New York. That is, if the series goes that long."
"Maybe it won't. You're ahead two games to nothing."
"I know, but the Braves can be very tough in Atlanta, and we have three games there."
"Well, good luck."
He grinned at her. "Thank you. Give my love to Ben."
"I will."
Daniel finished feeding carrots to all of the school horses that were turned out in the back paddock, then made his way back to his car. As he turned down the state road that would take him back to Greenwich, he thought about his interview with Kate.
I can't believe I told her. Was I crazy?
Not only had he told her, he was not feeling uncomfortable that he had told her. Somehow it had just seemed the natural thing to do. He
r question about his feelings for Ben had needed to be answered, and you just did not look into that direct, aquamarine gaze and lie.
Her response had been perfect. She had accepted the fact for what it was, recognized that it validated his behavior, and put it aside. If she had commiserated with him, he would have hated her.
If any other woman had confided in me about her best, friend George, I would think she was trying to make me jealous. But not Kata. That thought never crossed her mind.
He grinned as he thought about her delighted laugh when he had accused her of having a boyfriend. Any other woman would have seen that I was jealous and played me along. But not Kata.
He knew she hadn't planned to invite him to stay at High Meadow. The look of utter surprise on her face when he had mentioned it had given her away. He thought he had been very clever to suggest it, and was pleased that she was considering letting him come.
She drew him. He had grown up with people who felt passionately and who expressed those feelings with ease and fluency. Kate was different. Her feelings were deep and concentrated, and she shared them with very few people, but no one who had been in her company would doubt that she had them. She was like a tiger in the zoo, controlled, confined, yet dangerous in her very passivity. He remembered how she had once warned him that if he did anything to hurt Ben, he would have to deal with her. She had been serious, and he had taken her seriously. To hurt Ben was to hurt Kate, and she would retaliate.
He thought that being a guest in her house for a month was going to be very interesting.
* * *
11
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Ben went into school late on Friday, and when Molly went to pick him up at soccer practice, she found herself preceded by Alberto and Daniel's parents. They all smiled and greeted her as she joined them.
"We decided at the last minute to come, and it was too late to phone you," Alberto said apologetically. "I can easily take Ben home if you have other things to do."
"This is what I do on Friday afternoons," Molly said comfortably. "Don't worry about it."
"Ben is a marvelous player," Victoria said enthusiastically. "It is almost like watching Daniel all over again."
"Ben is not Daniel, however. He is himself." Molly thought it was necessary to make this point. She didn't want to see Daniel's parents try to push Ben into a preexisting mold.
"We know that, Molly," Rafael said gravely. "And there is one way in particular I am hoping that he differs from his father. I would like to see my grandson choose soccer over baseball."
"He certainly seems to like it," Victoria said, and they all fell quiet as they watched Ben dribble the ball down the field in a drill.
"He loves all the running," Molly said, when Ben had finished. "Boys have so much energy! I thought Kate was full of fire when she was a child, but Ben even beats her."
Rafael laughed. "He is a healthy boy. Of course he has energy."
Alberto said, "My grandson is the same way. Never still. His sister can sit and draw, but not him. He must be racing his trucks all over the room."
Molly laughed. "That sounds familiar—although Ben can play with Legos for hours. He loves to build things."
"That is interesting," Alberto said. "Perhaps he will grow up to be an architect or an engineer."
"He'd like to be a rocket engineer, I think. He's into all the space stuff."
The subject of their conversation had been running across the field while they spoke, and now he pulled up beside them. "Grandmama, Grandpapa, my coach wants to meet you. Would you mind coming to say hello to him?"
"Of course not."
"Do you want to come, Nana?"
"I already know your coach, Ben. Take your grand-mama and grandpapa and Alberto."
"No, no," Alberto said. "You go, Rafael and Victoria. I will remain here with Molly."
He and Molly looked on as Ben escorted his grandparents across the field to where his coach was huddling with the team.
"It is good of you and your daughter to be so welcoming to Daniel's parents," Alberto said. "It means a great deal to them to get to know their grandson."
Molly remembered Kate's words about how unusual she found Daniel's parents' behavior, and said carefully, "To be truthful, I have found it a little surprising that they care so much. Not many parents would be so pleased to discover they have an illegitimate grandchild."
There was the briefest of pauses, then Alberto said, "We have a great sense of family in Colombia."
He was looking out across the field and Molly looked at his profile. It was calm. Kate was right, she thought. There's more here than meets the eye. There was no way she could pursue this train of thought without being rude, however, so she let the subject drop.
"Are the Monteros going to Atlanta with the Yankees, Alberto?"
"Not unless it looks as if the team will win the championship down there. So we will be around all weekend, getting in your way." He gave her a rueful smile.
"Nonsense," Molly said lightly. "You won't be in our way at all. I have Ben all the time. I certainly don't grudge the time he spends with his other grandparents."
"And your daughter? Is she as . . . forbearing?"
"Kate feels as I do, that it is in Ben's best interest that he become acquainted with all of his extended family."
He looked at her, a faint smile in his usually grave eyes. "You are a very nice woman, Molly Foley."
To Molly's great surprise, she blushed. Good God. Is it that long since I received a compliment?
"Thank you," she managed to say.
"You're welcome. I was wondering if you would care to see a movie with me on Sunday night?"
Molly had to tighten her jaw to keep it from dropping open. "What movie?" she said stupidly.
"I saw that Jealousy was playing in the local art theater.
I never got a chance to see it when it was first out, and I prefer to watch films on the big screen rather than the television. But perhaps you have already seen it?"
"Actually, I haven't. I would love to see it, though. It's one of those movies that I would like and Kate wouldn't."
"Daniel saw it and said it was wonderful."
"Nana!" Ben was racing across the field in their direction. "Grandmama wants to know if I can go out with them for ice cream?"
"I'll look up the times and call you tomorrow," Alberto said.
Molly said, "Fine."
The following morning Kate had just finished feeding the horses when Rafael came into the barn. She smiled when she saw him. "Now I know you're a true horseperson. No one else would get up at this hour to give a lesson."
He was dressed in khaki pants, collared shirt, and soft suede jacket, and he smiled at her words. "I don't have to get up like this at home, I must confess. I have a man who feeds for me. You can't do all the work of this stable by yourself?"
"I do as much of it as I can. Labor is one of the biggest costs involved in running a business like this, and I save where I can. I'm lucky to have a woman who does stalls in exchange for lessons and riding time for her kids, and that's a great help. And my friend George is great about fixing things, so I save on labor that way, too."
"Who takes care of the horses?"
"I do all the turnout and I have a few high school kids who groom for me after school. Boarders do their own tacking up here."
"Are you telling me you run this barn with no paid help?"
"I pay the kids who work for me," Kate said defensively.
"But my dear girl, you yourself must work from sunup to sundown."
Kate laughed. "I work later than sundown in the winter. It's a pretty busy life, but when I look around here and see all my healthy, happy horses, it's worth it."
They both paused to listen to the soothing sound of horses munching on hay and crunching on grain. Then Rafael said, "Is there anything I can do to help you before we start?"
"No. I'll give them a chance to eat, then put them out after our lesson. All I h
ave to do is tack up Aladdin."
Rafael followed her to the stall. "Is this your horse?"
"No, my own horse is eighteen, and I decided that it would be better not to use him. This horse belongs to a client of mine. She pays me to train him, so our session will be a lesson for him as well as me."
They chatted easily as Kate put the saddle and bridle on Aladdin, then they walked together into the indoor ring, which they reached through a double door in the back of the barn.
"This is very nice," Rafael commented as he looked around. Kate's father had built the indoor arena many years ago with high windows all around the top of the walls to let in the light. The year before he died, he had had several skylights installed as well, so there was much less feeling of enclosure than there often was in similar indoor arrangements.
"I'm going to have to replace the footing next year, which is a huge cost, but it will have to be done. It's okay for now, though."
Rafael nodded. "To start with, let's lower your stirrups two holes."
Kate had a wonderful lesson, then Rafael got on and showed Kate how to get Aladdin to soften through his back. When he got off, he said, "You need to get a dressage saddle if you're serious about doing this work. I'm amazed you were able to do what you just did while you were sitting in this."
"This is Aladdin's saddle. My own saddle is better," Kate said.
"Is it a dressage saddle?"
"No, it's a flat hunt seat saddle."
"If you want me to give you another lesson, borrow a dressage saddle. You'll be amazed at the difference."
"Would you give me another lesson?"
"Of course. By the way, this is a very nice horse—for a Thoroughbred."
"You don't usually like Thoroughbreds?"
"I like them for racing, but they are not built for dressage. Their necks are set too low and their hindquarters are meant to push out, to run, not to come under, for collection."
"That's true, but Aladdin has a wonderful stride."
"He does. But you must ride one of my Andalusians to really feel what collection is like. Come to Colombia with Daniel, and I'll open your eyes."
Kate surprised herself by thinking, I would love to do that.
She managed a smile. "That is very kind of you Rafael, but Daniel must have told you that I have strong feelings about taking Ben to Colombia. There is just too much going on there right now."
