by Tyra Lynn
“You think I might be able to do that, because of what I see?” I asked.
“Yes.” Mr. Knight said. “It’s possible.”
“What would I have to do?”
“Try to do what Gabriel did. You don’t have to go all the way through, though. We would know right away, and there would be no danger.”
“I don’t like it, Father.” Gabriel said.
I turned to Gabriel. “Why?”
“I don’t know, exactly.” He shrugged uncomfortably. What was he not saying?
“What, exactly, would I have to do?” I looked at Mr. Knight.
“I would hold your hand, and you would carefully try to step through the mirror. You either can, or cannot. If you can, your foot will go through, no need for the rest of you to follow.”
That didn’t sound so bad. “If I can do it, what does it mean?”
“I cannot honestly answer that, yet. There are no records of your family, and that is highly unusual—if you are a traveler.” Mr. Knight’s brows were furrowed.
“You don’t have to do it, Jessie. My Father is simply unaccustomed to not having answers.” Gabriel still seemed uncomfortable, and shot his father a sideways glance.
I turned my face to Gabriel’s and looked into his eyes. “Please tell me why it bothers you. Am I in danger? You wouldn’t let me do anything dangerous, would you?”
He sighed. “No. No, I wouldn’t let you do something that endangered you.” He sighed again, releasing my wrist and taking my hand. “If you try this, and if you find out you can travel, there is no way you won’t eventually want to do it. You’ll see something, and the lure will be too great. You wouldn’t know what you were doing. It’s not dangerous, the travelling, but things can happen, and for you...”
“For me what?”
“You wouldn’t know how to come home.” He was holding my hand so tight it almost hurt my fingers, but not quite.
“Gabriel, you’re scaring the girl, and there may be no need. You may be wasting your time, your worry, and hers.” Mr. Knight gave Gabriel a pointed look.
“I want to try it. I don’t think I can, but if I can, I won’t go anywhere. I’m not really the adventurous type, remember?” I reassured Gabriel. Somewhere in the back of my mind, however, I knew he could be right. How could you completely ignore possibilities?
“Very well, miss... Jessie, if you’ll please.” Mr. Knight held out his hand. I took the few steps to close the distance between us, and took hold of it. I felt that same electric feeling as I did touching Gabriel, though not as strongly.
“What do I do?” I asked, trying to keep my breathing under control.
“First, can you see anything in the mirror? Anything at all?”
“I see nothing unusual, just the reflection of us, and the room.” I was staring intently, looking at every inch of the glass surface.
“It won’t work, Father. That tells you all you need to know.” Gabriel said.
Mr. Knight ignored the comment. “What I would like you to do is step closer to the mirror; stop approximately ten inches from the surface. Watch it as you approach, and tell me if you see anything.”
I did as instructed. Nothing changed except the proximity of my reflection, and I suddenly knew Gabriel was right. Nothing was going to happen. It was strange to feel that sudden disappointment. “I don’t see anything different.” I admitted.
“Jessie, please raise your right foot, and place it against the surface of the mirror. If it gives, continue to push. If it doesn’t, you’ll know.” Mr. Knight gripped my hand firmly as he spoke.
I raised my right foot and moved it toward the surface carefully; I didn’t want to kick the glass in. The electric feeling intensified as my foot neared the surface, and my toes began to tingle. For a moment, I thought ‘my foot is going through the glass to the other side.’ The air crackled, I got that brief feeling of vertigo, and I heard a ‘snap.’
“So what are we to make of this?” Mr. Knights' voice sounded loud in the otherwise quiet room.
“I don’t know, Father.” Gabriel replied. “You’re the expert.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what they were talking about. I saw Gabriel go into the mirror, and I thought that’s what they wanted me to do—see it and then try it. I examined the mirror and my confused reflection.
“Did I do it?” I asked Gabriel.
“No.” His reply was short, but not sharp.
“So I failed, then?” Why couldn’t I remember what happened?
“No.” He repeated.
I remembered raising my foot. I remembered moving toward the mirror. I remembered hearing a snap. I couldn’t remember anything else. I shook my head in confusion.
Mr. Knight turned swiftly and strode across the room to his desk. He pulled two large volumes from a bookshelf and placed them on top of it. I watched in the mirror as he circled and pulled out his chair, sat down, and flipped one of the books open. He placed his glasses on his face and started reading.
I felt Gabriel’s hands on my shoulders, and watched in the mirror as he came to stand behind me. There was something haunting about the reflection I was seeing. He pressed up against my back and rested his chin on top of my head. His hands slid slowly off my shoulders and down my arms, cupping my hands in his own.
I felt an impossible feeling of déjà vu. I didn’t know which thing caused it, the look in his eyes, the feel of the touch, possibly the setting around me. It didn’t feel like my own memory, though. It was as if I were remembering some else’s memory, or a dream.
“Don’t do that, Gabriel. It isn’t fair.” Mr. Knights booming voice cut into my silent thoughts, and the ‘memory’ was gone.
“To whom, Father?” It sounded like a rhetorical question. Gabriel released me reluctantly, and I once again felt that rushing of cooler air embrace me.
“Take your chances, then. Is there to be a dinner, or have you both forgotten?” Mr. Knight asked suddenly, sliding his glasses to the end of his nose and peering over them.
I had forgotten the time, ironic. I glanced at my watch and realized the hours had burned away, and I wasn’t ready to leave. I tapped Gabriel’s arm, and nodded my head slightly, hoping he was the only one to notice.
“I was considering calling now, Father, with your permission.” Gabriel raised a questioning brow, and I let my eyes dart to the door and back. “We’ll leave you to your study.”
Gabriel escorted me through the doorway, and I followed him down the stairs. He turned to me in the vestibule. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured.”
“No, I want to stay. You can’t just show me all this stuff, tell me all these things, and send me home.” I wasn’t about to tell him I didn’t want to leave because of him, the other reasons were partly true, at least.
“I’m sure if your father considers coming, he’ll want to ask you first. There may be some complicated phone play, will that be a problem?” I knew what he was asking.
“No. I don’t like lying to my dad, but it won’t be entirely lies.” My stomach knotted a little, even so.
“I’ll call first, from here, and then we can step outside. Can’t have the same sounds, can we?” He asked. It seemed to bother him a little, too, and I appreciated that.
Gabriel pulled out his phone, hesitating until I nodded for him to go ahead. He dialed the number, and we waited.
After a couple of seconds, Gabriel said, “Mr. McLeod, the person I was looking for. This is Gabriel.” A short pause. “Yes, Sir, I am looking forward to it.” Another pause. “No, not at all. I do have a question, a request, perhaps. My father wishes to invite you and your daughter to dinner this evening. We have just moved in, as you know, and have no other acquaintances in the area. My father is in need of adult company, and I can’t say I don’t understand. I would appreciate company of my own age as well.” Gabriel chuckled. “Certainly.”
There was a significant pause. Gabriel looked at me, hopeful, and mouthed the word ‘customer.’ He
waited patiently for my dad to return, and I shifted my weight from foot to foot. “Yes, Sir, still here.” He looked at me and smiled while he listened.
“One other thing, if you don’t mind. Would your daughter mind coming early and assisting me in the kitchen? My Father is no help at all and you told me she likes to cook. It would be appreciated, if it is not inappropriate. I could pick her up, if she were agreeable.” He smiled at the answer. “I’ll await your call, then. Goodbye.”
“What did he say?” I asked anxiously.
“Step outside, I’ll fill in what I can before he calls and asks you.” I looked at the front door, and back at Gabriel. He realized why I was reluctant. “I’ll get the door.” He said, stepping past me, obviously amused.
The breezes still blew, a little stronger than they had been earlier. There was a small table and three chairs on one side of the porch. Gabriel held one out for me and I sat down. He seated himself in the one nearest me and we waited. I fidgeted in my chair, pulled my phone out of its case, and laid it on the table.
When it rang, I snatched it off the table, but Gabriel put up his hand, slowing me down. I took a couple of deep breaths, let it ring again.
“Hey, Dad. What’s up?” I hoped I sounded casual enough.
“Hi, Sweetheart, what are you doing?” Dad asked.
“Just sitting on the porch.” I didn’t say whose porch.
“How would you feel about going out to eat tonight?” He asked.
“That’s fine, I guess. What’d you have in mind?”
“I got a call from Gabriel Knight just a minute ago, and his father invited us to dinner.” He said.
“Oh, really? That was nice.” I felt like a bad actor in a c movie.
“First of all, what do you think? Would you like to go?” He asked.
“I guess. I always wanted to see inside that house they bought. That doesn’t sound rude, does it?” That was exactly what I would have said, and it sounded convincing, even to me.
“We’ll do it, then,” Dad said. “There is one other thing.”
“What kind of other thing?”
“Gabriel asked if you might be willing to help him in the kitchen. I guess he’s the cook in the family, and I might have bragged on you a little the other day. Of course, you don’t have to.” He waited.
“Hmm. I guess I could. When?” I think that’s what I might have said.
“I don’t know. I tell you what; I’ll call Gabriel back and tell him we’ll do it. I’ll give him your number and you two can work it out. All this is okay with you, right?” He asked.
“Yeah, it’s fine. What about Steve, though? He’s supposed to call me after work.” That is also something I would say, and was something I worried about.
“Maybe you could step out and take the call. Tell him we’re out to dinner.” He suggested. I wasn’t sure what I thought about that. Dad wasn’t typically devious, quite the opposite, in fact. It made me feel a little guilty, but not guilty enough.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“It’s just a dinner. If you don’t want to, say so.” I suddenly had a feeling my dad wanted to do it. I think the house had more to do with it than anything. When Mom and Dad first moved here, before I was even born, Mom saw the roof from the road. It had always intrigued her.
“Nope, let’s do it. Should be interesting. Think they’ll kick us out if we go nosing around the house?”
My dad laughed. “Maybe, but I’m going to get an eyeful first! I’ll call him back. Love you, sweetheart.”
“Love you too, Dad. See you tonight, I guess.” I hung up.
“Impressive.” Gabriel said. He held up his phone and waited, but not for long. “Hello? Yes, it is.”
I listened as they worked out the ‘details’ and then hung up. Gabriel was all smiles. “I guess that means it’s all on then.” I stated.
“Indeed. Your Father sounded—eager—to come. I’m to call you now and make arrangements to pick you up.” He picked up his phone and dialed. My phone started ringing and I just looked at it.
“So you’re ignoring me then? Or are you just too busy to answer?” He had his phone to his ear.
“Seriously?” I asked. He nodded.
I picked up the phone and answered, “Jessie McLeod speaking, how may I be of service?”
“Miss McLeod, this is Gabriel Knight calling. I wish to request your presence for dinner this evening. Arrangements have been made, providing you are agreeable, and I shall send a car for you shortly.” He smiled.
“Certainly, kind Sir. I shall be waiting by the door. Goodbye.”
“Fare well, Miss.”
“You are insane, you know that, right?” I asked as I put my phone away.
“I’ve been accused of such.” He looked off in the distance, a wistful look on his face.
“Well, me too.” I couldn’t figure out why I felt so comfortable in his presence. It threw me off balance and yet grounded me.
“Would you like to see the top floor?” He asked suddenly.
“Sure, why not.” I hadn’t thought about it until now, but I imagined the views were stunning.
He stood quickly and put out his hand. I was getting a little used to the treatment by now, and didn’t feel nearly as awkward as I had. We hurried inside and up the stairs. We walked quietly past the library door and down to a doorway. Gabriel opened it and I could see the stairs leading to the third floor. That’s why I hadn’t noticed them, they were hidden.
“After you.” Gabriel said.
CHAPTER XVII
What am I now that I was then?
May memory restore again and again
The smallest color of the smallest day.
—Delmore Schwartz
I climbed up slowly, again not touching anything. I had never been so averse to touching things in my life, but I had the strongest feeling I shouldn’t, so I went with it.
At the top of the stairs was a small landing with a single door. “Open it.” Gabriel said from behind me. I looked at the doorknob, and was afraid to touch it. Unusually afraid. He placed his hand on my shoulder and whispered, “Open it, please.”
His voice was so quiet, pleading. I felt that tingle where his hand was touching. I reached out, and it felt like I was watching someone else’s hand. “I’m afraid.”
“Don’t be.” He whispered. “Open it.”
What was I afraid of? I put my hand on the knob. Though I had never been there, the room looked exactly as I knew it would.
It took a few seconds to register that the door had not opened – I had never turned the knob. I could hear voices inside. It sounded like Gabriel and his father, nearby, but not visible.
I could hear Mr. Knight saying. “I don’t know, I haven’t figured out what. There has to be something we are missing.”
I heard Gabriel’s voice, “If it isn’t a what, then it must be a who.”
“No, no,” Mr. Knights voice again. “That doesn’t make any sense. They would not start randomly, not every time. I’m missing something.”
“I can’t take much more of this. I can’t keep doing this.” Gabriel’s voice again, sounding distressed. “I know fate, Father. I know it.”
“You aren’t the first one tormented, Gabriel.”
“Tormented. An apt description.” I heard a loud sigh.
I released the knob. “What was that?” I demanded.
Gabriel reached around me then, opening the door and swinging it open. The room looked – exactly as I knew it would.
“I don’t know what you saw.” He said quietly.
I stepped into the bedroom, looking around, and getting that feeling of vertigo again. I knew where the bed was, and went straight to it, sitting on the edge. I had my hands up, like a begging dog, up and away from everything.
Gabriel followed close behind and kneeled down in front of me. “Jessie, do you feel all right? Can I get you a glass of water? Give me your hands.”
He put his hands out and I placed mine in
them. “I feel dizzy.” I said. “I heard you – I heard you talking to your dad.”
“When?” He asked, an intense look on his face.
“When I touched the door knob.” The feeling of lethargy was coming back, just like at the park, and I felt so tired.
“What did you hear? Did you see anything?” He spoke quietly, rapidly scanning the room, as if he thought someone might be listening, or watching.
“Just you and your dad, trying to figure something out. You sounded – distressed. You said you were tormented.” I wanted to lie down; I didn’t care what it looked like. I didn’t care if it was inappropriate. I just needed to lie down, just for a few minutes. “I want to lie down.”
“Of course.” Gabriel rose quickly and went to the head of the bed. He fluffed one of the fat pillows and angled it low against the headboard. He then slid an arm around my back, the other under my knees, and lifted me, all in seemingly one movement.
I was swept up, and then gently placed with my head on the pillow, feet on the bed, shoes and all. My head sunk into the fluffy pillow and mattress. The sheets felt cool and smelled freshly washed – and they smelled familiar. I wondered if they used the same laundry detergent we used. My eyes closed.
I was conscious of Gabriel, hovering over me. I felt his hand touch my forehead and slide down my cheek, leaving a burning trail behind. His finger traced my lips, my eyebrows, my nose, my chin. Every place he touched leaving the same sensation.
I became aware of arms around me, holding me close from behind. A cheek against mine, a voice whispering, “Please don’t forget me, not this time.”
I tried to roll over and he loosened his arms so I could. “You’re insane.” I snuggled in close; put my lips against his neck, and his arms tightened.
“But you will, when I’m gone.”
“Then don’t go anywhere.” I said. It was that simple, wasn’t it?
“I don’t get to choose”
“Then I’ll choose. I won’t let you go.” I said. Why was he being so absurd?
“I wish it was that simple.”
“It is. Now shhh. Stop talking and kiss me.” I turned my face up, eyes still closed.
