Holding the knife by my side, I curl my pinkie around hers. “I promise.”
Ava gives the little girl one last wistful glance before she stands, pulling me out the back gate and down the side of the house as the woman’s voice screams again. “Paige! Oh, thank God!”
* * *
Ava doesn’t speak the entire drive back to Fort Lauderdale, which, shockingly enough, I’m okay with. I’m not sure what I’d say if she did. To see Ava’s past replay in front of her face like that was almost more than I could handle. It took every ounce of willpower not to take out my knife and cut that motherfucker to pieces myself.
She didn’t have to say it, and neither did he. I know what he did. I know he was the one. But he was her ghost to slay, not mine. She deserved those bullets.
When I pull in the driveway of the modest sand-colored stucco home, a flicker of life finally ignites in her eyes. “Where are we?”
“Mikhail’s house. He left it unlocked for us. I told you we couldn’t stay in Okeechobee anymore. It’s too risky. I put Mik up in a hotel, and he’s letting us stay here until things die down.”
The car barely stops before Ava is out and running toward the house. I call after her, but I already know it’s no use, a fact proven when she winds her way through unfamiliar surroundings in order to find the bedroom door and slam it. I pace outside, trying like hell to give her privacy, but I can’t help remembering that handling shit on her own put her mother six feet under. Worrying if Ava’s going to react the same almost has me breaking the door down.
Eventually, soft crying filters through into the living room, and I’m done. “Ava!” I yell, pounding on the door. “Open this door, or I swear to Christ, I’m breaking it down.”
“Please, give me time,” she rasps, her voice hoarse.
Time. Time. Time.
Time is all she’s asked for today, and every time I oblige her, more shit happens. More bodies fall. More secrets come out that destroy more of my soul. She begs again until I resume my pacing. I pace for another hour until I can’t take it anymore.
I’m fucking done.
Popping the blade on my knife, I wiggle it around in the lock until it clicks and the spring snaps. When I open the door, I find Ava asleep, curled up on the bed, her arm hanging off the side.
That’s when I count the marks.
Eight in all.
Hatred hotter than a thousand suns burns through me as I walk a slow pace and stand by her. I have no idea what the hell she did, but I do know one thing.
She’s going to answer for it.
Ava
I know I’m being watched before I even open my eyes. Maybe it’s a sixth sense from being raised in a house where hitmen came and went like couriers of death, but I know he’s there.
Niko’s face is sullen and weary. He’s sitting in a chair directly across from the bed, bent over with his elbows resting on his knees, and his hands folded over his mouth. Dark circles underline his eyes, and they’re so red it appears as if he’s been—no, it can’t be.
This is Niko Gaheris, ex-Bratva soldier and one of the Cavalieri Della Morte. He’s a merciless assassin, a man without a conscience. One who doesn’t feel pain. Not his, and definitely not anyone else’s.
“Hey,” I say softly, brushing my fingers over his knee. “You okay?”
Niko’s gaze lowers to where I’m touching him, and his nostrils flare before he clamps a tight hold around my wrist, tugging it toward him.
“What the hell?” I barely catch myself before I tumble off the mattress.
“Explain this.” He strokes his thumb over the first puffy, jagged scar about six inches above the inside of my elbow. All I can do is stare as his strokes become harder, more insistent. I want to tell him. I want to make him see the moment darkness claimed me, but at the same time, I’m terrified he will.
“It’s a scar.”
“I know that, Ava. How did it get there?”
“I cut myself.” I close my eyes, remembering the sting of the blade as it sliced my skin. It hurt, but the pain was only secondary to the cathartic rush of relief. The power to inflict suffering, even if it were my own, drew more satisfaction than accepting the nothingness I’d become.
“Why?”
“To punish myself for breaking my promise.”
Niko slides his thumb up another scar. Then another, and another. Eight in total until his hand stills just below my armpit. “And the rest?”
“One for each year of penance for the first.”
“And this?” He tears down the sheet, and pulls up my shirt to reveal a six-inch scar on my pelvis. “Was this penance?”
“Let go of me, Niko!” I fight him with all I have in me as he straddles me. He’s holding my wrists, but I thrash and twist, landing one good long scratch across his chest before he pins me flat against the mattress.
“Goddammit, Ava! Tell me the truth! Was this from the man your father sold you to?”
Oh God, he knows.
The one secret I’ve been holding onto for eight years has gone up in flames, and I’m tied to the stake, left to burn with it.
Something inside me snaps. “You want the truth? Fine! Yes, Niko, that scar was given to me by the man you had the pleasure of meeting today. The one who paid half a million dollars to be the first man to ever fuck me! After you left, Senator Dresden tied me up and beat me with a barbed wire whip so hard my skin split open. Are you happy now?” I expect a rush of anger from him, punishment for resisting, and I brace for the impact. When it never comes, I slowly open my eyes to find the redness in his eyes returning, along with an unreadable expression that ignites a fire inside me. One that’s ready to incinerate every secret I’ve ever held.
“Sergei killed your mother, didn’t he?”
I nod. “In the kitchen. I watched him smother her with a dishrag.” He doesn’t say anything in response, only closes his eyes and breathes. “Do you know why the attic was always my safe place?” I ask.
He shakes his head.
“I used to watch my father and Yuri take girls through the kitchen down into the basement. Those girls never came back up. That’s why the basement scared me so much. I thought if I climbed to the highest place I could find, I wouldn’t drown.”
“Heaven and Hell,” he says in a rough voice, and I nod. “I should’ve fought my way back, Ava. I should’ve come back for you. I didn’t know…I thought…”
“You thought I’d betrayed you, and I did, but not for the reasons you think. We were both manipulated by my father and Yuri.”
Niko tips his head to the side, his grip loosening on my hands. “I don’t understand why. It couldn’t have only been about money. Sergei had more money than God.”
I feel Niko’s hands shake. It tears me apart that it’s more self-loathing than rage. He blames himself, and he can’t. Not for this.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“That night in the basement,” I say, and he winces at the memory. “What Yuri did to me was because of you.”
“Me?”
“Before he…before he did what he did, Yuri accused me of things. He was so angry. He’d overheard our conversation the day before.”
I remember that conversation like it was yesterday. It’s burned into my memory and seared into the space that once held my heart.
“I can’t do this, Ava. It’s wrong.”
“I—I understand. It’s okay if you don’t want me.”
“Don’t want you? Ava, I want you so bad it hurts. I love you.”
“I love you too. And I’m ready. I want my first time to be with you.”
“That’s just it, pchelka, you’re not ready. You’re only sixteen, and while you’re wise beyond your years, I’m twenty-two. I won’t take advantage of you.”
“So what do we do?”
“We wait until you’re eighteen.”
“That’s two years, Niko! You have needs. You’ll fall in love with someone
else and forget about me.”
“I’m yours, pchelka. I promise. But you have to make me a promise too.”
“Anything.”
“Save yourself only for me. When we finally make love, I want to know I’m the first and last man to ever have you.”
I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t. There’s boiling rage on his face as he connects my words with the memory.
I clear my throat and continue. “Niko, Yuri feared that once we consummated our relationship, we’d marry, and since I was the only direct bloodline to the Chernov empire, you’d inherit the throne instead of him.”
“So he raped you?” he rasps. “How did he think that’d win him any favors with Sergei?”
I open my mouth then quickly close it, turning my face away while twisting my fingers in my lap. “It made me damaged goods, Niko. It violated my promise. He thought it would disgust you and turn you against me. I guess he was right.”
His eyes turn to steel. “But it wasn’t just that.”
“No, it wasn’t. My father was behind it all, pulling the strings. He thought we were getting too close. Yuri told him what he overheard, and my father knew he had to get rid of you before I turned eighteen. Yuri’s death just provided him the perfect opportunity. He knew I’d say anything he wanted me to as long as he promised to let you leave.”
“But he didn’t.”
“I know that now.”
Niko lifts himself off me, shifting to the edge of the bed. “I left you alone for eight years to suffer at his hands. I let him turn you into a…a…”
“Whore.” The word falls from my tongue with ease for the first time as I speak the truth. “It’s okay. You can say it.”
Niko’s eyes flare. “It’s not your fault! You did what you had to do to survive. He would’ve killed you if you opened your mouth or refused him.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll never know.”
“I should’ve let you go.”
“What?”
“Look at us, Ava,” he says, motioning between us. “I’m as bad as your father. He may have made you a whore, but I’ve made you a killer.”
“Niko, I’ve always been a killer. It’s in my blood. Even if I hadn’t killed Yuri, eventually, this side of me would’ve taken over. For Christ’s sake, I shot a man today, and I don’t have an ounce of regret in me. Does that sound like the actions of a normal, innocent girl to you?”
“No.”
“So stop worrying about what should have been, and start looking at what is. We’re fucked up. We’re sadistic, and we do things most people would consider the darkest of deeds. But that’s who we are.” Wrapping my fingers around the top of the white cotton dress Niko bought me, I pull it down, my breasts spilling over the top. “You’re a free man, but as for me? I’m owned. I wear the mark of a killer, remember? No matter what happens, I’m yours.” I lower my head and add softly, “Just like I promised.”
Heat flares in Niko’s eyes as he takes in his artwork. “Mine.”
“Yours,” I repeat, crawling over to him. Trailing my fingers over his zipper, I gently cup him. “And mine.”
“Ava,” he groans, reaching down to still my hand. “It’s been one hell of a day, and you’ve been through a lot.”
“Exactly,” I say, shaking off his hold and unbuttoning his jeans while slowly pulling down the zipper. “Which is why I need this more than ever. I need to know that even after learning my secret and seeing me kill, you still want me.” Slipping my hand underneath the waistband of his boxers, I find him already hard and swollen. Freeing his cock, I give it a few light strokes.
Niko curses, thrusting his hips into my hand. “Harder.”
I jerk him harder, wetness gathering between my legs as pre-cum leaks from the tip of his shaft.
Once again, Niko’s hand stills my movements. “Use your other hand to touch yourself, Ava. Take back all the power.”
Every muscle in Niko’s face is strained, but his eyes don’t darken this time. The magnetic silver gray remains, challenging me to prove my words with actions. My heart squeezes as I lock my gaze with his and slide my panties down my legs.
Letting out a groan, I circle my clit a few times before dipping it inside and sliding back out. “Oh God,” I moan.
“How fast do you want to come, Ava?” Niko’s voice is hoarse, his cock pulsing in my hand. “You’re in control.”
“Now,” I pant, my finger circling relentlessly. “I want it now.”
“Then take it,” he commands, his eyes watching every stroke. “Take what’s yours, pchelka.”
My pace becomes out of control. I can’t breathe, collapsing onto one hand as my body starts to shake. Just before my orgasm hits, a strong hand covers mine, and together I’m pushed off the cliff into oblivion. Every muscle in my body convulses as I cry out his name.
“How do you feel?” he rasps, pulling damp hair away from my face.
I look into his eyes, and all I see is pride. No shame or pity, just raw honesty. “I feel free.”
He smiles, but there’s a pained edge to it. Old insecurities creep in until I notice his huge erection is still unattended to. Crawling over to him, I straddle his lap.
Niko shakes his head. “Ava, you don’t have to do this.”
“I don’t have to do anything anymore. I want to. Besides, I’m selfish.” Reaching behind me, I grab the base of his cock, steadying it as I slowly lower myself until it’s buried inside me. We both groan as I circle my hips. “I want you.”
Gripping my hips, he gives a hard upward thrust. “Then take me.”
I lift my hips, only the tip of his shaft still inside me, then pause. Niko opens one eye, his brows clenched. “Ava, you’re killing me.”
“Tell me you love me.”
“What?”
“You made me tell you when you were fucking me on the table. I was at my weakest, Niko. I need to hear the words from you.”
Niko runs a hand up my neck and through my hair before jerking down and impaling me on his cock. I let out a hoarse scream as he flips us over, settling in between my legs.
“I’m not fucking you tonight, Ava.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Loving you.”
Pulling almost all the way out, Niko kisses my neck before pushing in torturously slow. Over and over he does this until the heat builds again, this time with even more intensity. The deep, passionate kisses and soft touches are foreign but intimate. This isn’t fucking. I’ve been fucked by a lot of men, in a lot of ways, but it’s never been like this. I have no point of reference, but this has to be what it means to make love.
“Niko,” I beg, needing to hear the words before I shatter.
Taking my head between his hands, he brushes my lips with his as he continues thrusting tender and slow. “I love you, pchelka. I’ve always loved you.”
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, I explode. My release triggers his, and he groans my name against my neck as he spills inside me.
We lay like that for the rest of the night, neither of us speaking of what the future holds.
As blissful as it is, we both know this bubble we’ve created can’t last. Tomorrow, I have to meet with Ethan and either salvage what I can of this broken triangle or destroy all three sides.
And in case the latter happens, I need a little insurance.
As Niko sleeps, I slip out of bed and carefully slide his phone out of his pants pocket. As quietly as possible, I key in the password on his phone I watched him type yesterday. Once I’m in, I start committing everything to memory.
Niko
“I don’t like it.”
Ava is bent over, furiously brushing the tangles out of her long red hair when I walk past her. Flipping her head back, she stares at me with the same exasperated look I’ve been getting from her all night. She’s irritated, and seeing her standing next to the bed in nothing but a pair of ass-hugging black lycra short shorts and a white tank top, my first inclina
tion is to throw her on top of it and fuck the attitude out of her. But I’m too focused on talking her out of doing something that has my every instinct on red alert.
Tossing the brush on the dresser, she stomps past me without a word. I have no idea why that small act of defiance pisses me off so much, but something has me on edge today, and I can’t put my finger on why. Regardless, I take off after her, grabbing her around the waist as she reaches the kitchen.
“I wasn’t finished.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says, placing her hand on her chest. “Would it be all right if I get a snack before the second act of the caveman show?”
“This isn’t funny, Ava.”
“No, it’s not.” Sighing, she wraps her arms around my neck and leans into me. “Nothing about this is funny. I know you aren’t happy about me meeting with Ethan tonight, but I have to. He’s expecting me, and if I don’t show up, he’s going to get suspicious.”
“What does it matter? You didn’t find anything at Seven to give him.”
“Which makes it even more important to see him in person. I have to ask for more time.”
“More time?” Reaching up, I pull her arms from around my neck. “Ava, you called an FBI agent and bargained for three days when nobody’s seen you in four. You don’t think the man’s going to have questions? Do you think he’s just going to accept your, ‘Oh well, I tried,’ excuse and high-five you as you walk away? Use your brain. He’s going to arrest you right there.”
A flash of sadness sweeps across her face. “I can handle it.”
I have no doubt she can. From what I’ve seen in the last forty-eight hours, the woman has transformed from someone I thought would cower under my dominance into a force with undeniable authority all her own. However, it doesn’t mean I’m going to throw her to the wolves.
“If you’re determined to do this, I’m going with you.”
Her eyes snap my way, panic racing through them. “No! Niko, if he sees you, this will all be over. I’ll lose my chance.”
Darkest Deeds: Cavalieri Della Morte Page 15
