Shirley walked past two waiting buggies and pulled herself up to settle on the buggy seat beside Glen.
“I see you know how to find buggies in the dark.”
“Didn’t think I could?” Shirley gave Glen a fake glare and then laughed. “Just because I used to ride in—” Shirley bit off the words. She didn’t want to offend Glen and revealing bitterness wasn’t necessary. “Actually, I like your buggy,” she finished.
“Glad to hear that.” Glen smiled as his horse took up a steady gait.
Shirley took a deep breath and rushed out the words she’d been thinking. “Glen, don’t you think we should both take the baptismal instruction classes this fall?”
Glen appeared startled at the sudden change in conversation. “What brings that up?”
“Well, we’re…” Shirley reached for his hand. “We’re both getting old, you know.”
They laughed together.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Glen regarded Shirley with a steady gaze.
“Yah.”
“I guess I’ve been thinking about it,” Glen admitted. “How did you know?”
“I didn’t. It was my own thought.”
“I like that.” Glen squeezed Shirley’s hand. “We think alike.”
Shirley looked up at him. “I feel all old and decrepit, but it feels okay.”
Glen made a face. “That’s not gut.”
“Oh, it is for me.” Shirley didn’t hesitate. “Believe it.”
“You? Old and decrepit?” Glen shook his head. “You’ll always be young and beautiful to me.”
Shirley clung to Glen’s hand. “Why do you say such wunderbah things to me?”
“Because they’re true!”
They traveled in silence for a while, and then Glen asked, “How’s Miriam doing with Ivan?”
Shirley leaned against Glen before she answered. “Okay, I think. She’s a great example to me. I know that.”
“They’re not dating though,” Glen said. “At least they weren’t last Sunday.”
“No,” Shirley admitted. “Miriam is coming home with Lee and Mark tonight as usual. Apparently Ivan wants a more informal approach. Not that Miriam has complained, but they do things a little differently. I do think they’ll be getting married, but not this fall since Miriam has her teaching job in Oklahoma. I don’t know how they’ll work that out. All I know is that Ivan needs a frau, and Miriam is the most decent woman available for him.”
“I wouldn’t disagree,” Glen allowed. “But I don’t understand the no dating part.”
“Miriam knows what she’s doing,” Shirley assured him.
Glen tilted his head. “I saw Mary Troyer making eyes at Ivan today. She’s been widowed for a year or so and has two small children. I’m sure she could use a husband and, unlike Miriam, quick like.”
Shirley groaned. “I hope not. I’d hate to see Miriam lose another prospect. Miriam is trying to follow Daett’s instructions since Wayne passed. I think it’ll work out this time.”
“Yah, I heard through the grapevine that your daett’s behind the whole thing. That he’s trying to set up Miriam to heal her heart and bring a blessing out of the tragedy.”
Shirley shrugged. “Daett did interfere at first, and I didn’t like that. But Miriam seems to think Daett was correct, and who am I to second-guess my eldest sister? And I’m tired of running my own life. Look where that got me! But then again, here I am…”
“With me,” Glen finished. “So I guess your logic must be right. I wasn’t trying to say I disagreed. I hope Miriam does find happiness with Ivan.”
“She will.” Shirley sat up as he turned into the Yoder driveway. “And here we are—home!”
“Yep.” Glen agreed. He pulled to a stop by the hitching post. Lee’s buggy pulled in behind them with Mark and Miriam. Glen tied his horse and waited beside Shirley while Lee and Mark unhitched.
“Howdy there, stranger!” Lee hollered over to them.
“And to you,” Glen hollered back.
Miriam approached them with a smile. “It’s gut to see you here tonight, Glen. I’m happy for the two of you.”
“Thank you.” Glen grinned in the soft buggy light. “And the best to you and Ivan.”
Miriam lowered her head. “The Lord will guide us. And thank you for the concern. I’m going inside. Are you two coming in?”
Shirley stepped forward but Glen touched her arm. “The moon’s coming up. I thought Shirley and I could go for a little midnight stroll.”
Miriam chuckled. “Not till midnight, I hope.”
“Figuratively speaking, of course,” Glen said with a laugh.
“You enjoy yourself then.” Miriam moved on toward the house.
Once Miriam had left, Glen whispered, “She’s burdened about something.”
“She’s suffered a lot,” Shirley whispered back. “Suffering can do that to you.”
Lee’s booming voice interrupted them. “How’s the happy couple tonight?”
“Going for a moonlight walk,” Shirley chirped.
“Can’t get more romantic than that,” Mark smirked.
“I didn’t know the moon was up!” Lee peered around teasingly.
“Shows how romantic you are!” Mark pointed at the horizon. “Just coming up.”
“I have other sterling qualities,” Lee protested as the two moved on.
“He’s just teasing.” Shirley glanced at Glen. “Don’t take him seriously. Lee’s the kindest and humblest fellow around.”
“Yah, I thought so.” Glen’s gaze followed the two men as they entered the house. “I like your family a lot.”
“That’s gut, but come, let’s go.” Shirley pulled on Glen’s hand. “You were going on a romantic stroll with me, remember?”
“Oh, I remember.” Glen moved ahead of Shirley and pulled them both into a run.
At the pasture gate they paused, and Shirley undid the latch. On the other side, they walked hand-in-hand, pausing moments later to watch the moon rise. The globe inched upward and soon hung inches above the horizon.
“It’s so peaceful,” Shirley said softly as she leaned into Glen’s shoulder.
“I know,” he said. “But time moves on, and I guess our rumspringa time is about over if we join the baptismal class.”
Shirley pulled her head away. “Now what brought that up?”
“I guess the night and the seriousness of this.”
“Romance is serious,” Shirley mused. “I never thought of that before.”
“It’s the Lord’s way of pointing us in the right direction. Family, home, children, responsibility, hard work. He makes the way as pleasant as He can.”
“Now you’re going to make me cry. Stop it!” Shirley ordered.
Glen dug in his pocket and came out with his handkerchief. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He touched her cheek lightly. “I think the Lord is leading the two of us together, Shirley. To spend our lives with each other.”
“Is this a proposal of marriage, Glen?”
“No,” he chuckled. “That would be a little rushed, but I can’t imagine myself with anyone else as my frau.”
“Hush, Glen. You’ve said enough.”
“I know. Scratch my denial and take this as a statement of my intentions.”
Shirley leaned against Glen’s shoulder again.
Why she always hesitated when Glen tried to deepen their relationship, she had no idea. But he was patient with her, and she usually gave in. That meant they would likely be engaged before long. A thrill ran through her at the thought. Glen would be her husband someday! Not this wedding season, of course, but perhaps the next or the following. The possibility seemed very real and close. Like the moon in the sky. The large, glimmering globe felt like a person could touch it even though it remained far in the distance.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Glen teased.
Shirley felt heat rise up her neck, but she would be honest. “I was thinking about our wedding someday.”
He pulled in a long breath. “That’s nice to hear. I needed that encouragement.”
“You’re always so patient and kind.”
He shrugged. “With you, it’s not difficult.”
“You can kiss me, you know.” Shirley lifted her face to him.
Now Glen hesitated. “Don’t couples usually save kissing for their engagement?”
He was quite innocent, Shirley thought, and then the words blurted out of her mouth. “Jonas and I didn’t.”
“And see where that ended up?” Glen regarded her skeptically.
“You’re not Jonas. Kiss me, Glen, please.”
“I’m not like Jonas,” he protested.
“I know.” Shirley pulled him close, and Glen’s hands tightened around her shoulders. “Kiss me, Glen.”
“I’m not sure about this, Shirley.”
“Stop talking, Glen, please.”
He still hesitated.
Shirley reached for his face with both hands. The moon hung beside him and illuminated part of his handsome face.
Glen’s hands gently gripped Shirley’s shoulders as he gave in. The slight bristles of his shaven face brushed her cheek before his lips met hers.
Shirley slipped her hands into his hair and wouldn’t let go.
Glen pulled back after a moment, but lowered his head and his lips met hers again.
Shirley shivered. Glen’s kisses were better than Jonas’s! Glen’s kisses had something Jonas’s didn’t. With Jonas, yah, her heart had pounded, but tonight there was a soft throb in her throat and Glen’s solid character all around her. This man would always be here for her. He was steadier than a massive rock in midstream. Pleasure in his presence hadn’t come in a hurry, but it had built until it enveloped her whole heart. That had never been in any of Jonas’s kisses.
Glen lifted his head and appeared dazed.
Shirley held his hand and waited for his response.
“You are very wunderbah, Shirley,” he finally whispered. He pulled her close, and his lips brushed the hair on top of her head.
Shirley looked up at him. “What did you really think when you saw me the first time—back at the gathering when I had all those ugly scars?”
Glen shushed her with a touch of his finger on her lips. “You kept your face hidden for a while. Remember?”
She nodded and his finger found her cheek and traced it gently. “You were more beautiful than I could ever imagine, Shirley. As you will be when I kiss you in the light of day.”
She buried her face in his chest. “I’m going to write down and sell your beautiful words someday, Glen. They’re worth their weight in gold.”
“No, they’re not,” he whispered into her ear.
Shirley embraced him again. She let go when the tears had ceased to sting her eyes. “Should we go home now?”
“Yah.” He led the way slowly back across the pasture. “This is where you agreed to date me, remember?”
She nodded.
“It’s a magical meadow.”
He let go of her hand to open the pasture gate, and invited her to lead the way.
Glen was sent from the Lord, Shirley told herself. Certainty grew, and she figured it would continue to grow the longer she knew him. She took his hand again as they walked to the house.
Chapter Forty-One
Ivan tossed in his sleep as he dreamed of great waves and crashing breakers lashing a rocky seashore. He was trying repeatedly to place a small boat in the water, only to have it cast back before he could climb in. He could hear voices calling him from the distance, but he couldn’t make out the words. Ivan strained to listen and finally answered, only to awaken with a start.
He sat bolt upright and peered around the early morning darkness in his bedroom. This was the second dream he’d had that night, and it was the same as earlier. It was odd because he didn’t often have nightmares. Was this a warning of some sort? But of what? He had only been to the ocean once in his life—with a group of young people during his rumspringa time. The experience hadn’t been unpleasant, and certainly there had been no storms…and no bad dreams at the time. Even the accident when Laura passed hadn’t produced nightmares. Yah, great sorrow, but not bad dreams. He rubbed his head. Miriam had been along on that rumspringa trip to the ocean, and he had enjoyed her presence. They had smiled and spoken to each other every chance they had. Miriam didn’t give him nightmares.
Ivan groaned and got out of bed, dressing in the darkness. Next week he had to go back to work—a fact he didn’t look forward to. He couldn’t allow his relationship with Miriam to lurch on like this, though he knew his heart hadn’t healed yet—nor had Miriam’s. Ivan found the kitchen and lit a kerosene lamp. He paused to gaze at the flickering flame. This time the truth must be faced. That was what his dream was about. He’d have to face this issue head on. Laura might be alive today if he’d spoken his mind sooner instead of when they were on their way to town for a shopping trip.
Ivan set the lamp on the kitchen table. He had to be honest and admit that his heart was not drawn to Miriam again like he’d hoped and even prayed. Instead, he was being oddly drawn to the widow Mary Troyer. He’d noticed this at the last two Sunday services but hadn’t wanted to admit the feelings. Likely the bishop’s words that morning after Ivan left the graveyard had focused his attention on Mary, but he’d avoided the matter, as usual. The widow Mary’s smiles reminded him a lot of Laura’s. How Mary had remained a widow for almost two years, he couldn’t imagine. Maybe Mary’s two children were a drawback to some men, but he didn’t mind. They were cute little girls, and he could easily imagine them as his own.
Ivan poured milk over his cereal and sat down to eat. Mary would heal his heart in ways that Miriam couldn’t. How, he wasn’t sure. Maybe because Mary was further from the pain of her loss than either Miriam or he was. Things worked that way, didn’t they? And Mary attracted him in ways that Miriam didn’t. He admired Miriam, but it wasn’t the same as attraction. He’d thought this time things would be different, and they might have been if Mary hadn’t appeared. Then the question had come into his mind: Would Mary welcome his attentions?
Yah, she would. He was sure of that. Mary’s shy smiles in his direction were all the evidence he needed. In the meantime, Miriam must be told. He would have to face her with the truth this time. And sooner rather than later. She must not be hurt again.
The thought straightened his back. He finished his cereal and set the bowl in the sink. With his chin set, he slipped out into the dawning light and entered the barn. Old Billy was in the harness in no time, and Ivan was on his way. He would visit Miriam first. She needed to know. Then if Mary turned him down, he would be left with no prospects, but that would just have to be.
Sorrow gathered around his heart as he drove along the still, morning roads. Miriam would be surprised to see him, especially so early in the day. But would his words upset her? It was even likely Miriam had already picked up the uncertainty in his heart. Miriam was that kind of woman. She was a woman worthy of a decent husband, and that would not be him. Miriam would take his decision with the same grace she took all the sorrows life handed her. She might even be relieved. Their former attraction had not revived itself for her either. He would have known if it had.
“Hurry up there,” Ivan urged Billy. He wanted this chore over and done with. The dread of it crept on him as the Yoder farm appeared in the distance. He could still drive on to Mary Troyer’s place, which lay a few miles on the other side of Possum Valley. He could stop in to see Miriam on the way home. But his hands pulled the reins to the left, and Billy turned in the Yoder driveway and stopped in front of the hitching post.
Thankfully Miriam opened the front door and stepped out before he reached the porch. A slight smile played on her face. “Gut morning. What brings you out so early?”
“Well, I have to go back to work next week,” he said haltingly. The words made no sense, but nothing did right now.
“I see. Are you fe
eling well?” Miriam regarded him with concern.
“I’m okay.” Ivan stepped up on the porch and sat on a porch rocker without invitation.
Miriam obviously wasn’t convinced and stepped closer to feel his forehead with her hand. “Are you sick or troubled?”
“Nightmares.” Ivan looked up at her. “I’m sorry, Miriam, but will you sit down? I have something to say.”
“Yah.” Miriam tucked her dress in and sat on the other chair. “Were they dreams about the accident and Laura?”
“No, this isn’t about the accident…or Laura.” Ivan let out a long breath. “It’s you and me, Miriam. I can’t go on like this, and you deserve to know.”
Miriam was silent, her gaze fixed on the porch floor. The front door flew open before Ivan could continue, and Shirley stepped out.
“Oh, it’s you, Ivan. I thought I heard someone drive in.” Shirley smiled at them.
Miriam waved her away with a quick motion of her hand, before she turned to Ivan. “It’s okay. I think I understand.”
“Yah, I suppose you do. You’re that kind of woman. Please don’t think you’re to blame for this. Your daett was well intentioned, but in my heart, Miriam, I just don’t think we are meant to be.”
Miriam sat back in her chair. At last she said, “Thank you for being honest this time.”
He reached for her hand. “I’ve enjoyed our times together, Miriam. I really have. Like I did before when we were in our rumspringa time. Remember that trip to Virginia Beach?”
Miriam didn’t answer.
Ivan hurried on. “You’ll meet someone someday who will be just right for you, Miriam. I know that. You’re decent and upright and…”
“It’s okay, Ivan.” Miriam smiled slightly. “You don’t have to go on.”
A Blessing for Miriam Page 28
