by E. M. Gayle
“I didn’t think one night would matter that much.” That was the God’s honest truth. How could he have known that one taste of her and his whole world would tilt on its axis?
He walked back to his desk, opened the humidor he kept stocked and pulled out two cigars. He clipped the ends and handed one over to Jeremy.
“What’s this for?”
“I don’t know, man. Call it a peace offering. Or a I fucked up and now I need your help figuring it out thing. Whatever suits you.”
He lit both their cigars and returned to his station at the window. The sun had finally gone below the horizon and the darkness he so loved had begun.
“What suits me is the goddamned truth. Is he what all this is about? Are you using her for some sort of revenge against that fucked up brother of yours?”
Chapter Eight
Harper
Tired from a long day of baking and then organizing my next catering job, I began the three-story ascent to my apartment. With no elevator available in this building I considered this part of my daily workout. Only tonight I would have given anything not to climb these stairs. At the top I was embarrassed to admit that I was huffing and puffing, not to mention the sweat already gathering at the small of my back.
I tried to imagine either one of the men from my fantasy night at the Glass Kat going through this misery and failed. I may not have much of a bank account to talk about, but I recognized money when I saw it. The suit my mystery man had worn alone would probably cover my rent for several months. The watch on his wrist another year’s worth or more.
Once inside, I dropped my bag and keys on the table near the door and trudged into the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind me. I was about to turn on the water when the banging on my door began.
I tried to ignore it, hoping whoever it was would go away. Someone visiting my place was a rare enough event that I figured it had to be someone banging on the wrong door.
“Harper! Open the door. It’s me.”
I sagged against the wall at the muffled sound of Zia’s voice. Loved her to death, I really did, but right now I needed a shower and some rest more than I needed someone poking me for more details about my night at the Glass Kat.
She’d already called me twice in the last two days, pressing me for all the information and I’d been too busy with work to get into more than a few brief details. And if I was completely honest, I didn’t know if I could share that night yet. My feelings over it all still felt raw. I didn’t even know the name of the man who’d sent me my rose and given me more orgasms in one night than I’d had in months. What was I supposed to say about that?
Still. She was at the door and I knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t go away. I grabbed my robe off the hook and slid into it as I trudged to my front door one leaden step at a time.
With a hopefully appropriate smile pasted on my face, I unlocked the door and opened it.
“Finally,” she said. “I thought I was going to have to kick the door in to get it open.”
With a sarcastic response on the tip of my tongue, something about her banging for all of a minute, I spied the pizza she carried in one hand and the six-pack of beer in the other.
“If that’s a sausage and mushroom from Vino’s then you can come in,” I muttered, my mouth already salivating from the delicious aroma.
She laughed. “You know it is. Would I dare bring anything else? Got the beer swill you love too. I just hope you have some wine or something for me so I don’t have to choke this shit down.”
The fake smile disappeared from my face and transformed into genuine laughter. “Damn you, I was going to be mad at you for interrupting my much needed hot shower, but now I can’t.” I snagged the pizza box out of her hand and turned towards my eat-in kitchen. The one room in the whole place that made those three flights of stairs worth it every time.
“Might as well come in. It’s probably best I not eat this entire thing myself.”
My friend snorted. “You’re so damned friendly, Harper. Anyone ever warn you about that?”
As I opened the box and picked up my first slice I smirked. “I know I’m being a bitch. But I’m cranky because my boss is a slave driver.”
“I’m your boss, you ungrateful brat.”
I grinned around my mouthful of amazing pizza. “I know. Isn’t it great? Can you pass me one of those beers?”
Zia grabbed a bottle, twisted the top off and handed it to me. “You are so lucky I love you.”
I was and I knew it.
I closed my eyes and savored my pizza. If I had eaten today I couldn’t remember so she was also my life saver whether she realized it or not. That was the case in more ways than she knew. I would be eternally grateful for her hiring me as her head baker/manager at the bar. When she’d first broached the idea I thought she was crazy for putting that kind of responsibility into the hands of a barely graduated culinary student with no real experience outside of private parties and school functions we were forced to cater for grades.
I didn’t think graduating at the top of my class necessarily made me ready for what she wanted but I, like her, threw caution to the wind and went for it.
I’d also been thrilled. Thanks to her I was able to afford a decent apartment not far from the city, even if I did have to take a few trains to get back and forth.
“So…” she started. “Are you ever going to fill me in on all the sordid details of your Valentine adventure? I’ve been dying for more information.”
I swallowed my food and took a swig of beer before I responded. “I knew this was a bribe,” I said.
“Can you blame me? If the tables were turned and I’d received a sexy anonymous invitation you wouldn’t be all up my ass for every juicy detail?”
She had a point. I definitely would. I often lived vicariously through her adventures. Now that she was a celebrity, she got to meet all kinds of cool people. And she often traveled all over the world for her show.
“I told you the other day, there isn’t that much to tell.” I kind of felt guilty that I wasn’t sharing everything, but I still had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Filling a fantasy was one thing, not knowing anything about the two men was another. Not that I thought Zia would ever judge me. Not long after her divorce, she’d had a few interesting adventures, to say the least.
I still smiled when I thought about her fling with a certain movie star when she’d spent a summer abroad with her film crew.
“You’re full of shit you know that?” She grabbed a slice of her own and flung herself down into one of my chairs. “It was the Glass Kat. I may not have ever been through those hallowed doors, but I know exactly the kind of thing that happens there. And you, young lady, are lying through your pretty white teeth.”
I smiled like I did harbor a secret, because we both knew I did.
“I still can’t believe you didn’t get his name though. I can’t decide if that’s the sexiest damn thing or the most disturbing thing I’ve ever heard. Hot sex with a complete stranger does have a certain appeal. No pressure. No expectations. One night and it’s done. It’s the perfect way to scratch an itch and was just what you needed.”
She had no idea.
“So what’s next? Are you finally going to get serious about putting yourself out there now? Maybe some dating. I happen to know a couple of good candidates.”
I groaned. “Oh God, no. I am not going on any arranged dates or anything else like that. I’m pretty sure I used up my luck on Valentine’s Day. Besides, it’s only been a week for cripes sake. I think I deserve a buffer before you start planning out the rest of my love life.” And I still needed some time to process last week’s adventure. Until I could get my mystery man out of my head I did not need to meet someone else.
Not that I blamed her for trying. She was a good friend and that’s what friends did for each other. They wanted them to be happy and for Zia that meant me finding someone who cared about me and happened to be really good i
n bed. That was a high criteria on her list of boyfriend qualities.
Well, I couldn’t give her a rating on my mystery man. Not in the truest sense because it wasn’t him I’d fucked. That had belonged to the equally mysterious Jeremy who I hadn’t even seen. I could still hear his voice though. A shiver worked over me. That deep, dark caress of sexiness wouldn’t be forgotten anytime soon.
I fought a smile. Otherwise I’d have more explaining to do.
There was also the matter of my past that I’d left a huge chunk of the details out of the story I’d told Zia. I couldn’t tell her the real ugly truth.
Not that it had started out that way. Not to me anyway. When I’d met Bill he was everything. Beautiful, smart, mature and really into me. I couldn’t believe then that the new substitute history teacher at my high school, who I had a massive crush on from day one, could possibly have feelings for me as well. Or that we’d end up dating in secret my entire senior year.
God, I’d been so naïve. And a virgin. Apparently that had been the most important thing and the whole reason he was drawn to me.
Bill had admired that about me. While every other girl I was friends with back then had already found a way to lose theirs, he’d said I was special for protecting mine. For nine long months we met in secret. Sometimes it was in the back of a darkened theater in the city, where he would kiss me senseless for two hours. Or on the rare occasions when we had more time, we’d go hiking in the woods where he patiently taught me what it was like to get on my knees and suck his dick.
There were rules for it of course. I always had to keep my hands crossed in my lap so that I never touched him with more than my mouth. My eyes had to remain closed the entire time so that I kept my focus on the love that flowed between us more than the physical act. I never understood that one and had I been a little more worldly at the time instead of an infatuated idiot, I might have seen some of the warning signs.
I also couldn’t touch myself. That was strictly forbidden the entire time we dated. I broke that rule once and Bill introduced me to his belt.
I was supposed to hate it, I knew I was. He was punishing me for breaking his rules. Instead I was excited from the moment he made me pull up my skirt and push down my panties. He didn’t go easy on me either so that doesn’t explain why I found it so exciting. Maybe it was the desperation I’d been feeling from feeling deprived. It didn’t matter. All I know is that day I went home with red welts on my ass, swollen eyes from my tears, and so much joy in my heart I thought it would burst.
What I couldn’t have known at the time was it would be the last time I felt that good with Bill Bennett.
The following week he showered me with gifts and apologies for his behavior. This unfortunately led to confusion and shame on my part. If he was sorry for spanking me, then my enjoyment of it must be very very wrong.
The seed of doubt about myself and the horrible kind of person I must be was planted that week and it quickly began to grow.
Two weeks later I graduated from high school and turned eighteen. Bill announced I was finally ready for him as a woman, but first we had to get married. He whisked me off to the justice of the peace that same day, we were married along with ten other couples and that was that.
No romantic proposal, no pretty dress or flowers. Just I Dos in front of a sea of strangers and with the flourish of a pen, I was Mrs. Bill Bennett.
“Earth to Harper. Are you listening?”
Zia’s question pulled me out of the past and back into the present. I blinked a few times and took a deep breath of relief. That part of my life was over and I was never going back.
But remembering those days made it a whole lot easier to understand why one night with a mystery man was enough. I didn’t know him, but he didn’t know me either. It was actually kind of perfect if you thought about it. All fun, no mess. The last thing I needed in my life were entanglements. Especially with two men.
“Yeah, I’m listening,” I finally answered. “Although I’m ignoring you for good reason.” I straightened in my chair and leveled a serious look at my friend. “I know you mean well, but you need to hear me when I say this this time. I am NOT looking for a new man in my life. I’m just not. I’m so busy with keeping up with the demand at the dessert bar and now I’ve gotten more catering jobs, I need to focus on that for now. I know you understand this.”
“But—”
I cut her off because I already knew where she was going. “Trust me. If I get the itch, I’m going to scratch it. I like sex too much to totally ignore it.”
Zia laughed. “Truth! But I’m still going to keep asking you about the Glass Kat. I’ve heard so much about the infamous place.”
“I can’t believe you’ve never been invited.”
“Right?” She reached for the wine bottle and poured herself another full glass of the red something or other she’d scrounged from my sad liquor cabinet. “What’s a girl got to do to snag one of those? Maybe your mystery man has a friend.”
I choked on my swallow of beer and started to cough. Beer went everywhere including up my nose.
“Oh my God, Harper!” Zia jumped up and ran for the towel draped over my sink. “What the hell?” She swiped at the table and the floor. “Are you okay?”
Obviously not. I couldn’t even hold it together with the mere mention of a friend. Oh lord I needed that shower more than ever except now I needed a cold one.
“I’m fine. You just made me laugh at the wrong time.”
Zia cocked her head. “You didn’t look like you were laughing. Are you sure there isn’t more you want to tell me about that night?”
Between the burn in my nose and the heat crawling up my neck I was sure everything I was feeling at the moment was super obvious. Secretive I was not. Well, technically I was, but that didn’t mean I was very good at it. Especially not with people like Zia getting so close.
“I’m sure. And enough talk about that night, okay? It was a really nice night, but that’s all it was. One night. And before you ask, because I know you will, I am not ashamed of a second of it. I’m never going to be ashamed of my sexuality again.” And I meant it. It had taken a while to get there, but I had and while I didn’t share a lot of my past with Zia, some of the more personal details about my sexuality did come out and she helped me learn to embrace that side of myself. "It’s just time to put it behind me and move on to more important things like all these catering jobs you keep sending my way. What’s up with that anyway?”
Her face spread into a huge grin. “Well, that’s the thing. Whatever the hell you served those people at the Glass Kat a few weeks ago must have left a lasting impression. We’ve been getting calls left and right and since that was your job, it only seems right that I send those clients your way. Why? Is it too much?”
I shook my head. “It could be if I tried to handle it all on my own. But I’ve put a call into Chef Rainey and he’s going to line up some temporary help for me from his top students that are close to graduation. You know he’s happy to overload them at this point.”
She laughed. “I definitely haven’t forgotten that man’s evil ways. But it does sound like the perfect way for you to find some eager help that also come with the skills you need. I may hate that man from our days in his classes, but he knows how to weed out the ones who can’t hack it in this business for sure. Maybe some of them could work as permanent hires too. I have a feeling your popularity is going to skyrocket in the coming months. Maybe you’ll have your own TV show someday.”
That idea struck fear in my heart like Zia didn’t know. I had come to New York for the anonymity of a city this size and I preferred to keep it that way. I shook my head. “No thank you. I’m perfectly happy to live out any celebrity fantasies I might have vicariously through you. I just want to cook and enjoy doing it. You can keep all the rest of that nonsense to yourself.”
And maybe, one day, sometime in the not necessarily near future, I would find someone to share a little slice of my
life with. When the time was right.
Three hours later, Zia had gone home, the pizza box laid empty on the table and I had consumed at least four beers and had a good buzz going on. Despite that, I was restless. And I was feeling a little guilty about overindulging.
I shoved my chair back from the table and decided some yoga might loosen things up. Nothing too complicated, since I doubted drunk yoga would get me anywhere good. Just some mindful stretching that would settle my mind and my nerves.
I didn’t even bother with my yoga mat. That would have required a trek into my bedroom and some digging in my closet. I hadn’t actually seen it in quite some time. Usually I came home from work so exhausted I had no trouble falling into my bed and sleeping like the dead.
But my conversation with Zia had my mind focused on the wrong things. I did wish I had a name to go with the face that was stuck in my brain. Although if I did, I’d probably end up obsessively googling him and that felt way too stalkerish for my peace of mind.
I stretched forward and down, getting into what I affectionally called the dastardly dog and let all the blood rush to my head. Despite the alcohol loosening me up, my muscles were tight and sore. Something I’d felt for days after my ‘date.’ I would forever use that word loosely about that night. It was far too unconventional to be defined by such a basic word.
I flipped to my side and lifted my left arm all the way to the ceiling. I did have one of their names. Jeremy. And I could possibly find something that way. Maybe.
No. I would just let it go and move on. That was the smart thing to do and I’d made a vow to stop doing stupid things.
That thought made me snort. I’d been making crazy moves for as long as I could remember and as far as I could see that hadn’t stopped just because I changed zip codes. Some might argue that walking out of the house I shared with Bill in the middle of the night with not much more than the clothes on my back was about the craziest thing I could have done.
