He averted his gaze and stared down at his half empty plate. Sighing heavily, he leaned against the backrest of the chair and finally looked up at me again.
“This is hard for me,” he replied, which was not much of a reply at all.
“Why?”
“I’m not used to playing these teenage games. And this is what this comes across to me.”
“A game?”
“An immature game.”
I couldn’t agree more, but spending time with him was no longer a means to something. I was actually looking forward to knowing more about him.
“I can see why’d you think that, but we were the ones that were played. We’d be getting back at them without actually becoming involved with each other. You don’t have to worry about involving feelings.”
“Feelings are already involved,” he said and I immediately knew what he meant.
“Well, do you still love her?” I pried.
“Love isn’t something that dies overnight,” he said, confirming what I already suspected.
It was my belief that given the right circumstances love could wither and die as quickly as bolt of lightning. Since confirming Kirk’s betrayal, I had been running purely on anger. Hurt had not had time to set fully in and I would not allow it to.
I’d developed a nice defense system that allowed for me to be practically immune to hurt. It was the only way I could fight off pain. The only way I could continue on without dwelling on the past.
“This might be hard for you to understand, but for the past five years Margaret has been everything to me.” He continued, “I have done my best to make her happy, given the best of me to ensure she had no reason to do what she did. She’s the only girl I’ve ever fallen in love with and even though it might seem I’m okay, I’m really not.”
I tried my best to hide the irritation gripping my insides. Hard for me to understand? If he only knew how much exactly I had come to lose over the years. How much I’d been hurt and betrayed. Kirk wasn’t the first person to betray me in the worst possible way.
“Why do you think I wouldn’t understand losing those you love? I have loved too, you know.” And had lost more than I would ever bring myself to forget.
He raised his chin. “You don’t seem remotely upset over losing Kirk. It seems to me you’re acting only out of jealousy, because he cheated on you with someone you would consider beneath you.”
Shocked, I could only sit there and stare at him.
“You said yourself you don’t want him back, so what’s the point of all of this?” He gestured to the half empty plate in front of him. “What’s keeping you from getting on with your life and forgetting he delivered a low blow?”
Hot, scorching rage bubbled up inside of me. He was right about a lot of things, but what pissed me off was that he was assuming too much about me. He knew nothing about me. Nothing at all.
“Look.” I glared at him. “I cooked because I wanted to do something nice for you. There was no hidden intention behind it.” I scampered to my feet, abruptly pushing the chair back as I rose. “You may be good at reading people, but you don’t know anything about me. I am not jealous of Margaret; I have no reason to be. I can get any guy I want.” It did cross my mind that I was just stuffing my close-to-bursting ego, but at that moment I did not care. I was too pissed off to care. “She can have him for all I care. I only wanted to hurt Kirk the same way he hurt me, but it’s not like I can’t move on if I don’t get back at him. Besides, I have my reasons do to what I want and I certainly don’t have to explain myself to you.”
I grabbed for my plate, fully intending to storm toward the kitchen sink with it, but Dakota’s hand snaked out from underneath the table and grabbed a hold of mine, keeping me from moving.
“Did I say I wasn’t going to help you?” he said, his fingers tightly wrapped around my wrist. “Don’t be so defensive.”
“You gave me reason to be defensive.” I glared at him. “What’s with the lecture?” I spat. “You’re getting something out of this too.”
“Sit down.” He released my hand and leaned back again.
Sit down? What, he’s ordering me around now?
Nevertheless, I sat back down on my chair, still glaring.
“You have quite a temper on you,” he commented as he began to eat the rest of his meal as if he’d never riled me up.
“And you are too honest,” I retorted. “It’s annoying. How you can read people that is.”
He spared a glance in my direction. “I can’t read you,” he said. “At least not completely.”
I scoffed. “Weren’t you just pointing out how desperate I am to get payback?” I bit back sarcastically. “You read that quite well.”
Every word oozed sarcasm, but he ignored it all.
He shrugged. “Only because it’s so obvious.”
My mouth dropped open. He was really pushing his luck with me.
“But I also know you’re hiding something.”
I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. “What?”
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but people like you always have some ulterior motive to do what they do.”
“People like me? What is that supposed to mean exactly?” I began to think that maybe Dakota was a whole lot smarter than I’d pegged him to be. Maybe I’d chosen a partner fully capable of beating me at my own game. That thought scared me.
“People accustomed to getting what they want when they want it, like you, usually have to feel superior to others to compensate for something that’s missing from their lives.”
By damn if he didn’t deserve a noble prize for his ability to read deep into my dark soul.
“I will have you know there is nothing missing from my life,” I lied. “If I chose to get payback, it is because I refuse to be played for a fool. You may be smart, but you’re totally misreading me, Dakota.”
He kept his gaze on me, staring into my eyes as if wishing he could break down the barriers between us and know my deepest, saddest secrets.
“You lie so well I almost believe you,” he responded at last.
“How could you possibly know if I’m lying or not?”
“Because I have had a rough time too. I’ve had to put on a brave face just to get through too. You’re not the only one.”
I pushed my plate aside, already full with the conversation. I folded my arms over my chest and frowned. Watching him closely, I took a sip of juice while I waited for him to continue.
“You know, it almost sounds as if you’re psychoanalyzing me.” I placed the now empty glass of juice on the table and turned my attention back to him.
He smiled. “I’m not.”
“Do you want to dissect my soul and find out what I’m hiding?” I leaned forward in the chair, placing both elbows on top of the table as I gaped at him. “Is that it?”
Fixing his glasses, he released a puff of air before saying, “We all have secrets.”
It was not a valid response. At least not one that clarified what he truly wanted, but I left it at that. Though I was not sure if he was telling me that he, too, had secrets, or simply that he was not judging me, I opted for changing the subject instead.
“So you want to just let destiny take charge and forget we ever met up with the intention of getting something out of our ex’s betrayal?” I asked.
“That would probably be the wise thing to do.”
I nodded. “Of course, but you’re not going to do it.”
He would agree and we both knew it. He needed answers as much as I needed to get back at Kirk. We were in this together.
“We’ll just have to see where things go from here on out.”
He gazed at me for a few minutes without saying a word, and I in turn, gazed back, taking in his Native American features in admiration. Dakota was handsome in his own way. Probably not as striking as the kind of guy that usually caught my eye, but he was not far behind. He was also polite, easy to talk to, and definitely in
teresting. In other words, he was nothing like I’d imagined him to be. He was everything I had ignored in a guy before—everything I had convinced myself was unattractive in a man.
Now I wasn’t so sure anymore.
Maybe, just maybe, I had chosen the wrong type of guy all along. Maybe I was better suited for a guy who didn’t spend hours caring for his appearance, but for a guy who was a little more sensitive and was more of a decent human being.
“I guess we do,” I replied with a smile.
Chapter Eleven
After diner, Dakota was kind enough to offer to help with the dishes. So we teamed up. I washed and he dried. In no time at all we had taken care of all the dirty dishes and had cleaned up the stove, counter, and table.
Because we had to get up early the next morning and make it to class on time, we didn’t linger around in the house, talking as much as I would have wanted. Instead, I drove him home, watching my speed as I traveled the few miles that would take us from my place to his. When we finally arrived and I parked my car just outside the apartment building he lived in, Dakota unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted on the seat so that he faced me.
“Are you sure you want to be seen around with me?” he asked with a smile.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked him for the second time since we started talking to each other.
He laughed. “People will wonder if we’re just trying to get even.”
“We are,” I said. “So what if they do anyway? I’m not going to say anything about us just pretending to be together. Are you?”
He shook his head. “As far as everyone else is concerned, you and I are together.”
I beamed. “See, we’re a team already.”
Although the car’s windows were rolled up, a distinctive male voice carried Dakota’s name being called to us and we both glanced up at the same time to spot Uziel and Demarco standing on the second floor terrace, looking down at us and grinning.
“We’ve been spotted.” Dakota glanced forward and frowned.
“Looks like you have some explaining to do.” I laughed at the sight of Uziel giving us the two-thumbs-up move.
“Yeah, he’ll be all over my case now.” He looked at me and smiled.
“Well, we have to start fully convincing everyone at some point.” Fisting my hand in Dakota’s shirt, I pulled him toward me and planted a quick kiss on his soft lips. I only did it for the benefit of those watching us, but I never expected the tightening in the pit of my stomach nor the hot flashes that suddenly coursed through my body as our lips came in contact.
Totally confused, I drew back and glanced up to look at his face.
He had not been expecting the kiss and the surprise was clearly visible in his face.
“I’ll see you tomorrow around campus,” I said, hoping to distract myself from the electrifying atmosphere inside the car. Though it had been only a quick peck, it affected me more than I ever thought a simple gesture like that ever could. “How about we meet up for lunch tomorrow.”
He nodded. “Lunch sounds good.”
Releasing his shirt, I glanced up as Uziel’s excited cheers carried over toward us.
“Someone’s happy,” I commented.
“Yeah, he has no life.” Dakota reached for the door handle but stopped short of opening the door. “Thanks for diner. It was delicious.”
“It felt good to cook again. It’s been a while.” I smiled at him. “I was almost afraid I’d lost my touch.”
He looked on at me with surprise. “You mean, you never cooked for Kirk?”
I shook my head. “No. Never. It was always take out or he’d make us something. I never bothered with him.”
The reality of what came out of my mouth hit me full force. I’d just cooked a meal for a virtual stranger but never bothered to do that for Kirk. I had never felt compelled or inspired to share that part of me with him. And my mind quickly scrambled for an explanation as to why but found no answers.
“It’s the first time since I left for college that anyone’s cooked for me,” he said, snapping me out of my thoughts. “We usually take care of ourselves.” He pointed to where Demarco and Uziel were standing, punching each other on the arms.
“Well, what can I say, you inspired me,” I admitted aloud, blushing as soon as I realized just how much I was giving away.
What the hell is wrong with me? I’m like a freaking open book all of a sudden?
Chuckling softly, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Tomorrow.”
Opening the car door, he climbed out, and stood to one side of the car as I shifted the car to reverse, and waived before driving off.
***
The next day held a hint of promise as I readied myself for another long day of classes. Since my first year of college, I had not felt such enthusiasm over getting up and going to campus. The week before I’d dreaded even making it there, but my high spirits had returned. I now had a purpose for being present—aside from finishing my major of course.
Dakota would be waiting for me and in spite of how much I tried to deny it; I was looking forward to seeing him again. During the entire drive to campus, my mind kept drifting back to him and our plan. To most it would sound crazy, but to us, somehow it made sense. Maybe Dakota and I had a lot more in common than we knew.
Even though Delilah and Audrey were engrossed in a deep conversation as I drove us to campus, I paid no attention to their rambling whatsoever. It wasn’t until we arrived that I finally snapped out of my wandering thoughts and finally fixated my gaze on them as they excitedly exited the car and started for where Michaela and Delilah’s brother, Kevin, were standing, waiting for us.
Shaking my head, I quickly climbed out of the car and hurried toward them.
“Hey, girls,” Kevin greeted us. “You’re almost late,” he teased.
Delilah shoved him playfully. “So what?”
“You keeping tabs now?” Audrey asked.
Kevin shook his head. “Nah, I’m just messing with you girls.”
Michaela looked up at me and smiled. Something was up.
“Hey, you,” I said, my eyes flickering down to their joined hands, recognition dawning at once. They were official now. Michaela had had a thing for Kevin for a while, but he had always played hard to get. Since they were holding hands, I came to the realization that they both wanted everybody else to know they were now dating.
“Hey, Janessa.” Kevin grinned as he added, “I heard you have a new boyfriend.”
Michaela tossed me a knowing look.
Fidgeting with the strap of my messenger bag, I said, “He’s just a friend.”
“That’s not what it looked like to me,” he continued.
“What are you talking about?” I asked intrigued.
“Michaela and I were at the mall yesterday and we saw you leaving together.”
Ah, so that’s where he was taking his assumptions from. Right, as if Michaela’s influence had nothing to do with that.
“His name is Dakota,” I replied.
“So, are you two dating?” he asked, arching one eyebrow.
I smiled. “We’re…” I paused for emphasis. All eyes were on me and I wanted to make them anticipate my answer. “Getting to know each other.”
Kevin laughed. “It sure took you long enough to dump Kirk.”
I rolled my eyes. Was there someone, aside from his best friends, who even liked Kirk? I mean, seriously. For the past two days I’d heard that one sentence three times.
“So I’ve heard.”
“I, for one, am so happy he’s out of the picture,” Delilah, who wore a vintage 1940’s aplomb dress with a layered, red-trimmed collar, low cut V-neckline, and a triad of round scarlet buttons at the bodice, said. She really looked as if she’d just walked out of a movie set.
“We all are,” Audrey added.
Kevin nodded. “You’ll have to introduce us to the new guy some time.”
“I will.” I smiled, l
oving that my friends were so supportive. If only they knew this whole dating thing was a big fake. Well, Delilah and Audrey knew, but they had promised not to tell anyone else and I knew I could count on them to keep the secret.
“Well, here’s your chance.” Michaela gestured behind me and I spun around just in time to see Dakota walking toward us with his cousin, Uziel.
My heart immediately picked up pace at the sight of him, but I ignored it. Tried to convince myself I was just nervous, but the thump, thump, thump of my beating heart did not lie.
“Who’s that with him?” Audrey asked, interrupting my brain’s denial tantrum.
“His cousin, Uziel,” I replied, keeping my eyes locked on my partner in crime.
He looked positively appealing with his hair braided and tied at the nape of his neck. The t-shirt he wore outlined his broad shoulders and biceps perfectly. His long legs were encased in a pair of jeans that really made it hard for me to stop staring. He was muscular and I loved scrutinizing him.
“I’ll be right back.” I started for him, ignoring the sly comments and school girl giggles coming from my friends as I moved along.
The moment Dakota spotted me moving toward him, he smiled, meeting me half way as I walked the short distance that would bring us face to face.
“Hey,” I said, straining my neck to look up at him. He was a good foot taller than me, which I happened to think was sexy. I had a thing for tall, good looking guys and Dakota sure fit the bill.
“Hey,” he replied. “It’s nice to see you first thing in the morning.”
“Right back at ya,” I said with an enthusiasm I actually felt.
“So what’s up?”
I was about to respond to that when I spotted Kirk exiting his car a short distance away and my impulses kicked in. Without giving much thought to my actions, I closed the gap keeping us apart and wrapped my arms around Dakota’s midsection, burying my face in his chest.
He tensed up a little, but then wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me close as he whispered in my left ear, “I’m glad to see you too.”
My action had been deliberate, because I knew there was no way Kirk could miss it from where he stood, but the effects coming in close contact with Dakota had on my body was definitely not planned. The way I shivered when his breath feathered over my earlobe was not something I could have possibly calculated. Not in the least.
Payback is Sweet Page 10
