“At least take your car.”
“No, it’s alright. I have enough money saved up to get a new one. I’ll take a cab tonight and figure out the rest tomorrow. I don’t want to drive that car into any neighborhood that I can afford to rent in. Someone will smash out the windows just because they can.”
“But you love that car.”
“And that’s why I’m going to keep it here, safe with you both. It’s in dad’s name. He can sell it if he wants.”
“He bought it for you.”
“Then tell him to sell it and put the money aside for when I finally decide to get an education. Oh, and tell him if he’s going to do that, when I go, I’m going to choose and I’m not going into business. I’m going into art or education or design or something.”
Her mom’s lips trembled again, like she was going to burst into tears at any minute. Laya inhaled deeply and let the air out slowly, as she counted in even slower, measured numbers to keep her own emotions under control.
“There isn’t anything I can do to stop you from going?”
“No. Even if you and dad had welcomed Jay tonight and everyone had hit it off, I’d still be telling you that I was planning on moving out. This just pushed up my plans by a few months.”
“You’re my only child. You’ll always be my baby.” Helena gripped Laya’s hand tightly in hers.
“I know. I know that, and I’m so glad that I still have you in my corner. I’ll need it. Just because I want to move out, doesn’t mean that I don’t want you in my life. I need you to know that. And dad too. Please, help him understand that this wasn’t to get back at him. Like I said, I don’t want to punish anyone.”
“Alright, honey. I’ll make sure he knows. Just promise me that you’ll be smart and be safe.”
“I’m not going across the world. I’m literally going in a cab across town.”
“Text me when you get there?”
“Of course. I’ll let you know where I’m at, so that you don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I made a good meal. I really did want Jay to come over. He seemed like a nice man.”
“I know you did. And he is.” Laya leaned into her mom and wrapped her arms around her. She noticed, for the first time in her life, how thin and frail Helena truly was. She’d always viewed her mom as a pillar of strength, the woman who had all the answers, the amazing mom who could fix anything. It was like she’d suddenly opened her eyes and realized that her mom was a woman, just like her. She’d once taken a chance and married the man she loved. She’d nearly lost a pregnancy and received the hard blow after that she’d never have another child. She gave everything she had, every part of her soul, to those who needed it. “I hope one day, that I can be just like you,” she breathed as she pulled away, eyes watering all over again.
“What’s that honey? I didn’t hear you?”
“Nothing,” she whispered. “I just love you, mom. You and dad.”
“And we love you. More than anything in the world.”
“I know.” And she did. It was why her mom let her walk the rest of the way down the hall and up the stairs to her room, alone.
Chapter 19
It’s Over
Jay
“It’s fucking over, Rone. Whatever it was, it’s done.”
Rone’s brow lifted, his usual tell that he was surprised. He had to clear his throat before he could even speak. “That’s shitty, man. I thought for sure that you guys were going to make it.”
“What tipped you off? The fact that she’s the only one I’ve ever gone on more than one date with? That I brought her home to meet my mother? That I brought her here to meet you guys?”
“No. The fact that you were less of an asshole when you were around her.”
Jay had to smile, just a fraction, but Rone kept a straight face. “Really?”
“Yeah. Seriously. You used to be such a dick and this past month, it was actually like you had a heart.”
“Maybe because I was actually happy for a change.”
“You know, that could be it.”
Jay blew out a long breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. He felt… wrecked. Just wrecked. Like he’d been on one hell of a drinking bender. The hard stuff. Unfortunately, that was still coming and he already felt like shit.
“I left her house and just drove. I didn’t know where I was going to end up. I just found myself here, after a couple hours of going in circles. I needed to talk to someone who- I guess someone who would listen.” He expected Rone to scoff at his corny statement, but the guy didn’t. There was a whole lot of soulfulness going on in his friend’s dark eyes.
“Of course I would listen, you stubborn fucker. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”
“I thought you gave up swearing.”
“Heather isn’t here. She doesn’t have to know.”
“She probably swears more than you do now. Must be because she’s in that tattoo shop all day.”
“Must be because she has you for a brother.”
Jay shook his head. He didn’t know how Rone did it, but he already felt just slightly better. Instead of feeling like absolute shit, he just felt like shit. Maybe with a drink or two, or twenty, he’d graduate to partial shit and then he’d black out and wouldn’t have to think about it. In the morning he could blame his sloshing stomach and pounding head on the alcohol, not on the woman who stomped all over his heart. Or her father. That would be more apt. Laya actually hadn’t done anything except fight to keep him there and make him understand.
“You’re going to give up, just like that?” Rone leaned forward, hands on his denim clad knees. The guy was massive. In reality, so was the chair he was sitting in, but he made it look tiny.
“What else am I supposed to do? Her dad basically told her that I was a fuck up and I was going to fuck up her life.”
“That’s not really what it sounded like. It sounded like he was just worried. Why didn’t you stand up for yourself and contradict him?”
“I tried. It didn’t come out right. I didn’t want to sit there and look like an idiot. The guy’s a lawyer and by the looks of his house and all his money, a good one. He’s used to debating and battling it out in court.”
“Or maybe you knew he was right. Maybe you knew that you’re a little shit and you’re no good for his daughter. She is way too good for you, man. We all know it.”
“Fuck you, Rone.” Jay’s temperature spiked inside. He knew he was probably red on the outside. He wanted to break something, anything. The urge to get up and put his fist through the drywall was becoming more tempting with every passing second.
“That’s more like it. That’s the Jay I know. You’re a fighter. You gave me a beating before I could be with your sister.”
“You didn’t fight back.”
“I was trying to prove a point. You could kick my ass and I’d let you, but I wasn’t going to stop seeing Heather. I’d loved her for years and when I found out that she felt the same way, there was no way anyone could have kept us apart.”
“So you’re trying to say that you did what it took and stuck with it, even though I was against it.”
“Pretty much. I’m trying to tell you to stop being a pussy and man up and go get Laya back.”
“She said she was willing to fight for me.”
“Damn.” Rone leaned back in his chair. “That’s pretty impressive, Jay. You’re an idiot. If you let her go, you’re a straight up idiot. She’s the best thing that’s ever going to happen to you.”
“And you know that how?”
“Just look at her. She’s a sweetheart. Heather and I liked her. Your mom is in love with her. She’s already praying for a wedding invite. We really could see that you were happy, as you said. She’s a nice person. Truly nice. The kind of nice that no one is anymore. And I saw the way you looked at her. Heather noticed it too. She said you looked at Laya like she was the only person in the world. It’s the same way I look at your sister.”
Jay said nothing. What was there to say? He leaned back and closed his eyes, willing the pounding at his temples to let up just a little so he could get a coherent thought in. He wanted to be with Laya, he truly did, but then her father’s words kept tossing around over and over in his head. It was only natural. He himself had doubts about his ability to provide for Laya and make her happy. He couldn’t believe that a woman like her would choose to be with a guy like him. A guy who had zero experience in the making another person happy department. In the not being a huge asshole department. In the being committed and selfless and loving another person department.
“I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
“What?” Jay nearly fell off the couch. Rone sat across from him. He suddenly looked wary, like Jay was going to explode up and hand out another beating.
“Is that alright? You guys don’t have a dad that I can ask. I’ve already talked to your mom. I wanted to be respectful and ask you both first.”
“You’re telling me this in the middle of the shittiest night I’ve had in a long time and you want my blessing?”
Rone didn’t bat an eye. “Pretty much. Sorry, man, I know it’s shitty timing.”
Jay shook his head. Rone slowly grinned and Jay found that he couldn’t keep a straight face. Rone truly did know just how to get through to him. It was why, after driving around aimlessly for hours, he’d found himself at his best friend’s house and not the bar or the edge of the city or back at his own silent, empty place.
“That’s great. Really. Yes, ask her. You don’t need my permission. I know that you love her. I can see how happy you both are. I’m glad she has you there to watch out for her. It used to drive me nuts, how pretty she was, how small she was, how guys could just come and prey on her.”
“She can hold her own. And if not, yes, she has me there for her. Always. If anyone ever dared lay a hand on her, I’d make them sorry for a long time to come.”
“And that’s exactly why I’m glad she has you.”
“I do love her. I promise I’ll always be there for her. I’ll take care of her-”
“You don’t have to convince me. Save the speech for Heather herself. She’s the one who might be a tough customer, but I doubt it. Maybe if you got her an ugly ring-”
“It’s not an ugly ring. It’s vintage. I bought it at an antique store. I think she’ll like it.”
“Sounds like you know her style. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled. Unlike me, she still has this romantic notion that marriage can actually work out.”
“I think it can. If both people want it to. I want to believe people can grow old together. I’ve loved your sister for longer than half my life and I’m not going to stop anytime soon.”
“I think you guys are the exception. I don’t think you’re the norm.”
“You should give it a try. Maybe not marriage, but romance. Keep the belief alive. What are you without it?”
What indeed? Jay thought about the lonely nights, not spent alone, but with women he didn’t know and didn’t care to know. It was ironic that he just realized how truly alone he was, even in the presence of others. He didn’t want to go back to that. He didn’t want to be with anyone else. He already knew that if he wasn’t with Laya, there wouldn’t be another for a very long time. He was done with one night stands, now that he knew what it was to actually connect with someone. He was done with treating people like shit in a sad attempt to make himself feel better.
“You know, I really should get going.” He went to stand, but Rone put up a hand and stopped him.
“If you’re thinking about going to the bar and getting hammered, think again. I have drinks here. If you truly need to drink yourself into oblivion, at least I’ll make sure you get home okay after.”
“Thanks, but I’m sure you don’t have what I need.”
“There are two bottles of whiskey in the cupboard waiting to be dusted off. Heather and I got them as a Christmas gift, but we haven’t opened them.”
“You don’t even drink whiskey.”
“I know. I was saving them for a night like this.”
“You were not. You just didn’t have anyone come over who actually wanted to drink it.” Rone was never into the hard stuff. He much preferred beer. Usually Jay wasn’t either, but he supposed he could make an exception.
“You know me too well. Anyway, now I have someone who wants to drink it. Shall I get the ice?”
“Yeah. And a tall glass. Make it a triple. Or more than that. I don’t care. I just know that beer isn’t going to cut it tonight.”
“This isn’t going to help you feel better. It’s only going to make things worse.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Nothing could be worse than knowing that you met the woman you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with and knowing that you have to let her go.”
“There isn’t any have to in that, Jay. You’re choosing this. You’re choosing this because you think that you aren’t good enough for her.”
“Am I?”
“Honestly, no. But you could be. Isn’t that the beauty of love, if we’re going to throw that word around. Love makes you a better person. It makes you want to be better and do better and try like hell to be worthy of it.”
“Yeah, well, I never really was any good at love, was I? Now will you please go get the whiskey?”
Rone shook his head, but he got up and left the room. A minute later, Jay heard ice clinking against glass in the kitchen.
Chapter 20
Taking Him Up On His Offer
Laya
Pulling up in a cab outside the house of the man whose actual relationship status with her was in hazy territory, was more than daunting. It nearly took more courage than she had to swipe her credit card in the cab’s backseat card reader, shoulder her bag and walk up to the front door.
She and Jay never really had discussed terms. She’d never once called him her boyfriend. Did that mean that there was no possible way he could be an ex-boyfriend? Those terms seemed somehow juvenile. He’d said at the beginning that they would just go with it until it no longer felt right. That was their term. That was their status. She wasn’t done with it. Even after the disastrous dinner, it still felt right to her.
All the lights were off in Jay’s bungalow, but his truck was in the driveway. It had taken her longer to pack than she thought it would. Her mom hadn’t let her out of the house without a packed lunch, though it was well after dinner time, and a few more tearful hugs. Even her dad came out and offered a silent hug. She could tell he was upset. The pain was there, in his eyes.
Laya closed her eyes and rang the bell. Her entire body was vibrating with energy, which she told herself wasn’t a fearful tremble. She didn’t know what was happening or where she was going to end up. She just knew she couldn’t go back home. She knew it was for the best. She had to break out on her own sometime.
There was no answer. Not a movement from inside. She rang the bell again and waited. Nothing. After a few more rings and a few tense minutes, she raised her fist and resorted to banging on the front door.
“I know you’re in there, Jay. Open up. I’m not going to go away.”
The silence of the night was overwhelming. A car passed by on the street, the noise fading in the distance almost as quickly as it had come. She wondered if the neighbors were watching out their windows. Jay sometimes joked about the drama that went on in the neighborhood. He’d once seen his neighbor, a woman who he let her picture as she was inclined to, come out wearing nothing but skimpy lingerie and actually throw a high heeled shoe at some guy who was trying to make a dash out of the house and to his car. At least she couldn’t be worse than that, even though it was humiliating pounding in Jay’s door.
He told me he wouldn’t answer the door if I came but I wouldn’t listen.
She still wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Laya dug in her purse, intent on pulling out her phone and calling Jay until he answered. Just as she wa
s about to dial his number, she heard a noise inside. She peered into one of the glass inserts at the top of the front door. It was only because she was so tall that she could stare through them, into the house.
A light flicked on down the hall and a few minutes later, Jay stumbled down the hall. And she meant stumbled. He had to put a hand out to keep himself from falling over. It was pretty obvious that he was drunk. It was a harsh blow, knowing full well she was the reason. The painful iron band around her heart tightened a little more.
She stepped back as the door opened a crack. Jay stared out at her, bleary eyed. She wondered if his eyes were red rimmed from the amount he’d drank or because… because he’d been crying. Laya steeled herself. She couldn’t think of it. She’d die inside if she imagined a man like Jay weeping over her. She hated that it was her who caused him pain. Hated it with a force that was so raw it was shocking in its forceful intensity.
“Laya…” Jay seemed shocked to see her there. Or maybe that was a question in his voice, since his eyes wouldn’t focus…
“Jay.” She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Her bags fell from her shoulder and in the next instant, she wrapped her arms around Jay’s neck. She fell into him, crushing him, holding on tight to him.
Because he was definitely drunk, the force of her hug nearly knocked them over. They fell against the nearest wall. He wasn’t angry like she thought he’d be. She waited, still clinging to him. She waited for him to push her away. She waited for him to right them both and shove off the wall, to turn her around and shove her out the door. She waited for him to tell her that it truly was over.
And all he did was sigh next to her ear.
“Laya,” he said softly. His hand came up and tangled in her hair. He pulled her even closer to him. She let him crush her cheek into his chest. She inhaled the scent of whiskey on his breath.
He went straight to the stuff that was going to banish me. She didn’t know if she should be honored or feel yet another wave of remorse.
“I came to take you up on your offer.” Her words were muffled against his chest.
Forbidden Soulmates_A Steamy Hot Revenge Romance Page 11
