by L. J. Smith
But instead of driving it into my chest, he glanced at me in disgust, then spit onto my face.
“You’re not worth killing; that’s too easy,” Samuel muttered, almost to himself. “I want you to suffer. You deserve it. In fact, that’s the only thing you deserve.”
I closed my eyes, not bothering to fight. Instead, I allowed my mind to conjure up Callie. Sweet, fierce Callie, with red hair and freckled skin and mischievous eyes. I knew this would be the last time I saw her, even in my imagination. She was surely in heaven, and I would soon be bound for hell.
With Samuel’s swift motion, pain was everywhere. The stake had driven through my chest, but missed my heart. Pain radiated from the wound to my hands, my feet, my brain.
“Enjoy hell,” Samuel said with a laugh. Then he swept out the door, leaving me in the fire-filled cabin, a precursor to what I knew was to be my final resting place.
Chapter 18
When death is inevitable, the passage of time both quickens and slows. It had happened the first time I died, when I felt a bullet rip through my body, and I felt it now. I felt the heat from the flames that raced along the perimeter of the cabin. I felt pain pulsing in my gut. I felt trapped, unable to wiggle the stake more than a few inches in any direction. But what I also felt was regret, anger, sorrow, and relief. It truly was as if a lifetime were passing before my eyes.
Or rather, both my lifetimes.
I hadn’t accomplished very much, either as a human or a vampire. What I’d accomplished was death. And as much as I felt I was better than Damon, was I, really? For in the end, we were both vampires. We both had a trail of destruction following us. And I was so tired. I was tired of fighting when nothing seemed to work out. I was tired of hurting. And I was tired of always being a puppet in Damon’s games. We were no longer children, the games had been deadly for far too long, and maybe my death was the only thing that would end our war. If so, I embraced it. I was ready to be consumed by an eternity of flames. That would be more peaceful than the life I’d been living.
The fire was taking its time, dancing along the seam between the wall and floorboards as if it were a cautious beau at a ball. I watched, entranced. The flames were made up of red and blue and orange and, from a distance, they reminded me of the brilliant fall leaves that would soon dot Abbott Manor. I’d never see that again.
Please don’t kill them, I thought, thinking of the rest of the Abbott family, frightened, grieving, and so terribly, terribly betrayed. It was a habit, thinking others could read my thoughts. It had sometimes worked with Damon and me, but that had only been because our closeness as brothers meant we often could guess what was on each others’ minds. I doubted Samuel and I were on any sort of familiar wavelength that would allow him to receive a message like that from me. Not that it mattered. Hearing it would only further encourage his thirst for blood.
I didn’t care about my own life, but I felt a tiny tug of loyalty toward Violet, who was now off with Samuel somewhere. She was a brand-new vampire, surely confused and overwhelmed. She needed guidance. And not the kind a cold-hearted killer would give her.
I tried to move my arm, desperate to pull the stake out. A renewed vigor surged through my limbs. I wasn’t ready to die. Not until I could save Violet from becoming a monster. I owed her that much after she was denied her choice. I tried to tear the stake from my chest as flames came closer and closer to my body. I heard the sound of the door creak, and I arched into the pain, ready to confront my fate.
“He’s in here!” It was a girl’s voice.
My eyes snapped open and I saw Violet’s sister, Cora, her red hair flaming around her face and dark circles under her eyes. Her pendant swung back and forth from her chest, momentarily mesmerizing me. I closed my eyes again. Just one more person I probably couldn’t save. When I was desperate to get Violet out of Damon’s clutches, I had abandoned Cora.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the dream-image.
But then, I felt lightness in my chest, from where the chair leg had been. My eyes flew open.
“You almost got yourself killed, brother,” Damon said. Before I even fully comprehended what was happening, I felt warm liquid rushing down my throat. I gagged as I realized a red fur carcass was being shoved into my face. It was the limp body of a fox.
“Drink more,” Damon instructed impatiently, glancing nervously behind his back. The flames were higher now, having caught onto the wall.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as more blood trickled down my throat.
“Saving your life,” Damon said, dragging me to my feet and pulling me outside and into the forest, just as my tiny cabin exploded into flames behind us. “After you left the party I realized Samuel was the one who must have killed Violet,” Damon continued. “The blood under his fingernails practically gleamed against his champagne glass. When I confronted him about it, he said he had a plan in motion, for both of us, and he took off. Let’s just say I decided to not let you die, at least not today. You can thank me later,” Damon said, brusquely depositing me on the cool forest floor. Far in the distance, I heard a cacophony of bells, screams, and thudding horse hooves. It was just like the siege Father had begun in Virginia. And once again, my brother and I were side by side, sticking together.
“We have to run!” I said raggedly. “Turn left.” We didn’t have time for a long explanation, but if Damon could have some compassion in him, I thought we could escape anything. I knew the forest better than anyone, and once we got to the center, underneath trees so tall the sky wasn’t visible even on a clear summer day, we’d be all right.
Damon picked Cora up and threw her over his shoulder with one hand while half-dragging me with another. We ran over the brook and around a quarry, circling the far perimeter of the Abbott farm, and finally, I brought them to the glen below the Chiltern River. It was a place that would take humans half a day to reach, but with us running at vampire speed, we had reached it in no time. We were safe. At least for now.
“I’m going to find Samuel,” Damon said, his face red from exertion. “He needs to know the consequences of his actions.”
“Damon, do you know what he’s done? He’s framed you for the Jack the Ripper murders. The police are getting a sketch of you even now. You can’t follow him; it’s not safe,” I said.
“I won’t let him get away with this, brother,” Damon said angrily. “Stay here. I’m going to see if I can find him.”
I didn’t have the strength to argue with him. I could hardly believe I was alive. I sat down on a rock and cradled my head in my hands. Then I held my hand over my wound. It was shrinking, but it still hurt, and I felt like there was a tiny heart beating in time to my breath.
“Are you all right?” Cora asked finally, breaking the silence. She was sitting on a fallen tree branch opposite me, nervously biting her fingernails. I wondered how much she knew about Damon’s true nature. But I had no energy to ask questions. I sank back upon the leaves as Cora sat beside me, eyeing me like a hawk. I could hear her heart thumping—ba-dump, ba-dump—and I sighed in relief. If I could hear her heart, that meant she hadn’t turned. She was human. I concentrated on the noise, as reassuring as the raindrops during an April shower.
I had to tell her about her sister.
“Violet . . .” I began.
“How is she?”
I shook my head. “Not well,” I managed to say. Cora’s heart sped up, but her breathing continued to be steady.
“Is she a vampire?” Cora asked, locking eyes with me.
I couldn’t lie.
“Yes, she turned,” I said. “Samuel forced her.”
A flash of hope lit up Cora’s eyes. “She did? So she’s not dead. Well, not dead dead. But . . . where did she go?” she asked in confusion.
“Samuel took her,” I said. “She didn’t have a choice. She must be frightened.”
“I’m sure she is,” Cora said in a small voice, twisting her vervain charm around her index finger. “When we were
children, Violet used to have to fall asleep with a candle burning all night. She was always afraid of monsters coming to get her.”
“She’ll get over that soon enough,” I said wryly. As a vampire, the dark was soon to become Violet’s biggest comfort.
“I suppose so,” Cora said, staring into space.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
Cora shrugged. “I hardly know. I was at the party, and Samuel came up to me, and I started shrieking. I didn’t know where the sound had come from. I didn’t even know that it was me. But he terrified me. And then your brother found me and made me talk. He brought me on the train. I kept praying Violet would be all right, but . . . could she be all right?” she said in a small voice.
I nodded. I didn’t want to give her false hope. “She’ll be different. But I can teach her. There are things that make being a vampire less terrible,” I said.
“Good.” We lapsed into silence. The wound in my chest was shrinking, and far above us I saw the faintest signs of dawn breaking through the inky night. I’d be all right. I’d live to see another day, another decade, another century. But Oliver wouldn’t. And where was Damon?
“Damon’s taking a long time,” Cora said, echoing my own thoughts. “Do you think he’ll be safe?”
“Yes,” I said. In truth, I didn’t know. I was only beginning to become aware of the different and vast expanse of vampires living in the world. Before, I’d thought I only needed to concern myself with Originals, like Klaus. But there were so many others to be worried about, in ways I’d never considered. “Damon’s very good at looking after himself,” I said.
A silence fell between us.
Suddenly, I heard a rustle in the woods. I stiffened as the footsteps drew closer, and conversation carried through the trees.
“Anything, men? Nothing over in those bushes?”
I heard the loud barking of several dogs. Footsteps passed nearby and I pushed my back against the rough bark of a tree. Cora squeezed my hand tightly until the group left, spurred on by the manic barking of the dogs.
“They’re looking for me,” I said, dully stating the obvious after the last footsteps had long since passed.
“Well, they didn’t find you, did they? That’s good news,” Cora said in her lilting brogue, attempting a watery smile.
I smiled back. It wasn’t much, but it was true. They hadn’t found us. Maybe I needed to learn to be thankful for small miracles.
Finally, as the sun’s early rays fell on us, Damon broke through the brush, Oliver’s lifeless body in his arms. His face was drawn and a jagged stream of blood trickled from his temple. He was shoeless, his clothes were torn, and he looked nothing like an Italian count or British merchant. Instead, he looked like the Damon of our childhood who’d spend hours playing in the woods. Except this was a game of life and death.
“I couldn’t find Samuel,” Damon said, sinking to a rock and sighing. “I tried to revive the child, but I couldn’t.”
“I know,” I said, picking up Oliver’s lifeless body. I’d never taken him hunting. I walked a few paces away, toward a grove of oak trees. I glanced at the dark sky, praying for Oliver’s salvation.
I tenderly laid the body on the forest floor and went to work creating a small, shallow grave. Then, I placed Oliver inside.
“Here lies the best hunter in Britain,” I said, a tear threatening my eye. I dropped a few handfuls of dirt inside, and covered that with tree branches.I turned away, not able to look at the grave anymore, and walked toward Cora and Damon, huddled a few feet away.
“What about my sister?” I heard Cora whisper. I saw Damon shrug. I wondered if there was more to the story than he was telling. But I wasn’t ready to hear it. Not yet.
I lay down on the hard forest floor a few yards away and closed my eyes, allowing sleep to overtake me. Even as my mind drifted toward unconsciousness, I knew the sleep would be rough and raw. But I deserved it. I deserved everything that was coming to me.
Chapter 19
I rolled around on the hard ground, desperately trying to find a comfortable place to sleep. But I couldn’t. Every inch of my body hurt, as though hot pokers were sticking into my skin. My mouth tasted like sandpaper, and my limbs felt like lead.
In my half-conscious state, I didn’t know where I was, but I had the familiar feeling I’d been here before. But where? If I was in hell, at least it was quiet. But then I blinked, and noticed two points of light moving toward me.
“Well, hello there,” a voice said. I blinked again, and realized the two points of light were coming from two large, inquisitive eyes.
“Katherine,” I croaked.
“Why, yes,” she said, as though we were meeting each other on the dust-covered dirt road to Veritas Estate.
“This is a dream,” I said, more to myself than to her.
“It could be,” she said, her tone of voice light, as if I’d asked if she thought it might rain later that day. “But does it matter? We’re both here.”
“Why is this happening?”
“Some people can’t let go. It can be difficult, can’t it?” Katherine asked rhetorically.
I glanced at her eyes. They were wide, catlike, and more beautiful than ever. I remembered the hours I spent staring into them, back when I was willing to risk it all for her. And I had. I’d lost everything. But still, those eyes reminded me of what it felt like to be young and believe that love conquered all.
I wanted to ask her why she’d turned me, when she must have known that my life would be filled with sorrow. I wanted to know how she stood it. I wanted to know what I was supposed to do, now that I had lost everyone I cared about. And I wanted to know why she continued to haunt me.
“Scholarly Stefan,” Katherine said, a smile playing on her lips. “Always thinking too hard. But remember, some things can’t be understood or explained. They have to be experienced.”
“Why?” I shouted, but Katherine simply faded into the darkness.
“We need to go,” Damon said brusquely, poking my ribs with the tip of his boot.
“Now?” I struggled to my elbows before wiping sleep from my eyes. I knew from the dew on the ground that it was only a matter of time before the sky fully burst into morning.
Damon nodded. Cora stood a few paces away, her brow furrowed and arms crossed as she silently studied us.
“We’re going back to London,” Damon said firmly. “I need to find Samuel and teach him a lesson. No one bests Damon Salvatore. I’m going to beat him at his own game.”
“We can’t go back to London,” I said, my jaw clenched as I rose to my full height, standing eye to eye with my brother. “Don’t you see that? We need to stop fighting. You used to hate me; now you hate Samuel. It’ll just lead to more bloodshed. Don’t you understand?”
“Oh, I understand, brother. I understand you’d rather get yourself killed than say thanks to the brother who saved your life. I’m going to London. If you want to live in darkness and survive on sheep and rabbits, go ahead.”
“I’m going, too. I have to find Violet,” Cora said, her face pale and drawn. A glance passed between Cora and Damon, but I had no idea what it meant. Finally, Damon nodded.
“I’ll come,” I said. It wasn’t as if I could stay here. Violet was out on her own, and I had to do everything I could to honor her dying wish. I couldn’t let her become a monster. And Damon needed me, whether he knew it or not. And right now, when I had no one and no home, as much as I hated to admit it, I needed him.
I took off, leading the way through the forest to the train station. In the distance, I could hear a whistle. Freedom was only a few paces away. I sped up.
“And this time, no excuses for who you are, Stefan,” Damon said, catching up to me, Cora on his back. “You’re a vampire. When will you realize that?”
“I know who I am, Damon,” I said calmly. It was a variation of the same argument we always had, but this time, I wasn’t going to fight. I could see the train chugging into the st
ation. We had to be careful. I was sure the entire parish was looking for us, and if we weren’t ready to compel at a moment’s notice, we could be caught unaware. “I’m your brother.”
“Yes,” Damon said after a beat.
It wasn’t anywhere close to an apology, but I sensed something between us shift. If we wanted to find Samuel, we needed to work together. Maybe fighting Samuel was our only chance to stop the bloodshed that followed us. I had to believe it. I had to believe in something.
“Did you know that Samuel was a vampire?” I asked. It was a small question, but one I’d wondered in my feverish sleep. Had Damon voluntarily found a vampire society in London?
“No, I didn’t know.” Damon shook his head, his dark eyes glinting in anger. “But I do know that I will never be made a fool of again. And I also know that Samuel’s about to get a lesson he’ll never forget.”
“What if he’s an Original?” I asked, my voice dropping to a whisper.
I cast my eyes to the sky, hoping that if there was light and goodness anywhere in the world, that Oliver was somewhere safe, in a place where he could do all the hunting he wanted.
“‘What if he’s an Original?’” Damon mocked, pulling me out of my reverie. “What does it matter? The only thing that matters is strength and determination. The Salvatore way,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Ready?” he asked, turning to Cora with a hint of a spark in his eye. With Damon, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.
“All aboard!” the conductor said, waving us on. I tried not to imagine what he must think of the three of us: Damon with his ripped shirt; me with my chest wound oozing through my shirt; and Cora, still wearing her ever-present scarf tied in a dainty bow around her neck, despite her bloodstained bodice.
“Tickets?” the conductor asked suspiciously.
Damon smiled, his shoulders relaxing, clearly in his element.
“London. You’ve already seen our tickets, so you’ll escort us to a first-class cabin. We won’t see you for the rest of the trip. As far as you or anyone else is concerned, we’re not there.”
