Neither spoke. Even if she could have, Cassie wouldn’t have known what to say. She was sure Steve felt the same way. After several minutes, he gently kissed the top of her head, broke away, and started up the truck’s engine. Cassie was more in control of herself now and wiped her face clear of the tears as she straightened and leaned her head against the passenger-side window.
They must have traveled an hour before Steve spoke. “Garth asked me if you were concerned about the cameo. I didn’t know what to tell him.”
The cameo. Cassie bit into her lower lip and explained. “My grandfather gave a cameo to our grandmother when they married. As the oldest child, my father inherited the cameo. It’s a family treasure and Dad wanted me to have it … I don’t know what happened to it after I left.”
“Garth said Nichole has it.”
“Then she should keep it … I was the one who left.”
A fresh tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
“I’m sorry … I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, I’m glad you did … I did wonder about it.” Her father had been wise not to give it to her. Duke would have taken and sold anything she had that was of any value. He was in constant need of money, though he’d spent whatever he got on himself. If not for government assistance, Cassie was convinced she and Amiee would have starved.
“I told Stan I’d give him a call when we were about an hour outside of Seattle,” Steve mentioned sometime later. “He said he’d meet us at the warehouse and help me unload the truck. I’ll be able to lock up your things so you won’t need to worry about anyone getting into them.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. Finding the words to voice her appreciation failed her. Steve had done so much already. “As soon as the house is built I’ll get it out of your way.”
“It won’t be in the way, Cassie.”
“I don’t want to be a burden; you’ve already been so kind.”
Steve snorted. “Don’t mistake me for a saint, Cassie Carter, because trust me, I’m not.”
When they reached the summit over Snoqualmie Pass, they stopped for a bathroom break. When Cassie exited the restroom, she saw that Steve was on the phone. He disconnected the call as she approached.
“Stan will meet us in an hour,” he announced.
Cassie climbed back into the cab. Steve joined her but didn’t start the engine. His hands gripped the steering wheel. “Listen, if I was out of line back there, kissing you, then I apologize.”
Cassie could feel her face heat up. “You weren’t out of line.”
Her answer seemed to relieve him. Reaching over, he took hold of her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“You’re a good woman, Cassie.”
“I was an extremely foolish one.”
“You were young …”
“And stupid.”
He shook his head as if to discount her words. “Quit beating yourself up over something that happened thirteen years ago.”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.”
Cassie smiled for the first time since leaving Spokane. “When did you get to be so dictatorial?” she asked, and then realized what she’d said and added, “No need to answer that. You’ve always been bossy.”
“Have I?” he joked.
“Yes! Don’t you remember the first day we met? We clashed right away. Your arrogance rubbed against my stubbornness. To say we started off on the wrong foot is putting it mildly.”
He grinned then, too. His hand covered hers and his fingers curled around her own. “I’ve since had a change of heart.”
“Me, too. You aren’t so bad, you know.”
Steve chuckled. “Interesting that you should say so, because I was thinking the same thing about you.”
His phone rang. “Must be Stan,” he murmured as he reached for it.
It wasn’t.
Although Cassie couldn’t make out the other side of the conversation, the voice was clearly female and just as clearly upset. The woman continued on for several seconds before Steve had a chance to speak.
“Listen, Britt, I had a commitment today. I’m sorry that I missed the softball game, but I can’t be at every single one.”
Britt.
That was the name of the woman from the suite who’d complained when Cassie couldn’t get her the brand of beer she wanted—the woman responsible for Cassie losing the job. All at once she understood why Steve had been so willing to help her collect her parents’ things. He felt guilty, and driving her to Spokane had simply been his penance.
Her heart sank as an uncanny sense of disappointment bore down on her. This day wasn’t about helping her. It was about absolving the guilt Steve felt over what his girlfriend had done. No wonder he was worried about the kiss.
Chapter 20
That night Cassie decided not to go to the home site and work with Habitat on Sunday, as she’d been away from Amiee the whole previous day. Although she was mentally and physically exhausted from her trip to Spokane, she found it difficult to fall asleep. No one needed to tell her what was wrong, or what plagued her.
It was all about her meeting with her sister. And if she was being honest, it was also about Steve’s kiss.
All night her mind dwelled on the conversation with Karen and how in the end she’d reluctantly hugged Cassie. When she allowed her mind to drift away from Karen, Cassie was confronted with the disturbing memory of the phone call Steve had gotten from Britt. It seemed clear that he was still involved with the other woman. In retrospect, Cassie was embarrassed by how fervently she’d responded to his kisses. Then again, the entire thing could be excused by the simple fact that she’d been completely overwrought.
It didn’t explain why Steve had chosen to kiss her just then, but she was relatively certain he would rather it hadn’t happened. In thinking back she remembered that he’d apologized, saying he felt he might have been out of line. She understood now that his real concern was that she might have read more into their exchange than was warranted, and frankly, she had. She was falling for him and it scared her half to death. Having already made one disastrous mistake in love, she wasn’t eager to make a second.
When it came to relationships, Cassie was sadly lacking as a judge of character. Steve seemed so stable and responsible compared to Duke, whose life had been in constant upheaval. But then again, Duke had seemed great at first, too. Her mind turned and turned.
“Mom, are you awake?” Cassie woke to find Amiee sitting at the end of her bed.
Sunlight streamed in from the window. Cassie sat up, leaned on one elbow, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What time is it?”
“Past nine.”
“You’re joking.”
“Why would I joke? Are we going to church this morning?”
Cassie tossed aside the covers, shocked that she’d slept so late. It’d taken hours for her to fall asleep, and the last time she’d looked at the clock it had been nearly three. “Yes, of course.”
“Are you working at the house later?”
“No.” She leaped out of bed and grabbed a shirt and a pair of pants on her way into the bathroom. “I want to spend the day with you.”
Right away Amiee brightened. “Are we seeing Steve?”
Cassie froze and glanced back at her daughter. “No. What makes you ask that?”
Her daughter shrugged. “Because we almost always see Steve on the weekends.”
“No, we don’t. Now hurry and get ready for church.”
“Okay, okay. Can we have pancakes for breakfast?”
Her daughter was constantly thinking about her stomach. “If we have time.”
“We don’t. What about after church?”
“Okay, whenever.”
“At IHOP?”
“Amiee … we can’t afford to eat out.”
“Just this once, Mom. Please.” Amiee placed her hands in a praying position and pleaded as if this was a matter of national security. “I won’t ask
again for a really long time. Just this once. I’m so in the mood for blueberry pancakes with that special flavored syrup they have.”
“Okay, okay.”
“Really?” Amiee rubbed her palms together as if she could barely contain herself. “You mean it? You aren’t going to change your mind, are you?”
“Yes, I really mean it.”
Her daughter hurried into her tiny bedroom and dressed in record time.
By the time they arrived at church for the nine-thirty service, the music had already started. Amiee immediately joined her friends for the first part of the service and just before the sermon was excused for her Sunday school class. The kids filed out of the sanctuary looking gleeful to escape.
Cassie and Amiee met up following the service, and Amiee was quick to remind Cassie of their earlier discussion. “You ready for pancakes?” her daughter asked, even before they reached the car.
“Ready.”
“You’re not taking this out of my allowance, are you?” Amiee asked, as her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
Cassie laughed. “No, but now that you mention it, maybe I should.”
“Mom!” she protested.
Because she had been upset when Steve dropped her off, Cassie had skipped dinner. By the time they were seated and handed the huge IHOP menus, Cassie found she was ravenous.
Both Amiee and Cassie ordered pancakes—Amiee’s with blueberries and Cassie’s with whole grains. It’d been far too long since Cassie had spent quality time with her daughter.
Amiee talked nonstop through breakfast, animated and excited. She’d decided that in the new house she wanted to paint her new bedroom a pale teal and wanted blue curtains. Not navy blue but sky blue. She thought the kitchen should be yellow, but she was willing to compromise. Cassie enjoyed listening to her daughter’s enthusiasm. Amiee was as excited to have a real home as Cassie herself.
“Can we go to a movie, too?” she asked.
“Not when the weather is this beautiful,” Cassie said. The theater would have been the perfect place for her to hide, although she wasn’t sure who she wanted to hide from. Possibly from herself?
“The beach, then. Remember how we went to look for seashells … That was a long time ago, though.”
“Not that long ago, just last year.”
“Mom,” Amiee said with what sounded like limitless patience. “A year is a long time.”
“Is it?” Cassie asked, playing dumb. Shortly after they’d arrived in the Seattle area, Cassie had taken Amiee to West Seattle and the beach there. Technically, it was Puget Sound, but it was as close to the ocean as Amiee had been since an infant in arms. Her daughter had raced up and down the beach, the wind ruffling her hair, as happy as Cassie could ever remember seeing her. At the end of the day, they’d accumulated four pockets full of seashells. Cassie had always wanted to return, but life had gotten complicated and busy. So much for the best intentions.
They climbed back into Cassie’s wreck of a car. Amiee sat in the front seat beside her. “Can we stop by the house?”
“The house?” Cassie repeated, a bit confused. “Do you mean our apartment?”
“No, our house or what will be our house. I want to see the yard again.”
“There’s nothing to see,” Cassie reminded Amiee. “It’s a section of land, nothing more.”
“But it’s going to be our home.”
“One day.”
“Mom, please.”
Cassie hesitated and then relented. Considering she’d left Amiee alone so much because of her work with Habitat, Cassie thought it was a good idea for her to have a tangible sense of the goal of this sacrifice. It would help her to understand it wouldn’t always be like this.
As soon as Cassie turned the corner leading to the property, she saw Steve’s work truck. He was at the site. Right away her heart bounced into her throat, making swallowing difficult.
“Is that Steve?” Amiee asked, peering out the window. “Mom, it’s Steve,” she said, answering her own question.
“It looks that way,” Cassie muttered. She wasn’t up to seeing him again this soon after her emotional breakdown.
“Who’s that with him?” her daughter asked.
Cassie saw that he was with a young boy. Apparently, he’d brought him to help clear away debris from the property. A pile of branches was bunched together in the middle of the yard, as if he planned to light a bonfire.
Before Cassie could stop her, Amiee rolled down the window and shouted his name. “Steve. Steve.” Then she proceeded to wave frantically at him as though she needed to be rescued.
On hearing his name, Steve glanced up, smiled, and then started walking toward Cassie’s car.
Cassie pulled to a stop, and Amiee leaped out of the car and eagerly raced toward him. Cassie groaned inwardly and waited as Steve approached.
He paused momentarily to say something to Amiee, then continued walking toward Cassie. He leaned into the open window on the passenger side, folding his arms. His smile was warm.
“I didn’t expect to see you today.”
She hadn’t expected to see him, either. Of course, sooner or later she would have needed to face him again. Maybe sooner was a good thing. She’d spent half the night trying to figure out what to say.
“It was Amiee’s idea to stop off and see the house. I tried to explain that there was no house,” she said, laughing, “but she wanted to see the lot, at least.”
“No house yet, you mean.”
“That’s what Amiee said.” Her gaze flew to her daughter, who was making friends with the boy. He looked to be about six or seven. “Who’s your friend?” she asked.
“Britt’s son.” Steve must have read the look in her eyes. “About that phone call from Britt.”
“What phone call?” she asked, realizing she sounded childish but unable to stop herself.
“Britt phoned when we were just outside of Seattle—”
“Steve,” she said, stopping him. She reached over and put her hand over his forearm. “Listen, you don’t owe me any explanations. It doesn’t matter if you’re involved with her or not. It’s none of my business.”
A frown darkened his face. “None of your business?” he repeated.
“Well, yes. We’re nothing more than friends.”
“Friends?” he repeated, and arched his brows.
He wasn’t making this easy. She decided to be direct. “Yes … okay, I’ll admit matters got a bit out of hand after Spokane, but I was distraught. It didn’t mean anything.”
“It?” he repeated, again.
“The kiss.” She hated that he forced her to say it.
“Kisses,” he corrected.
“Whatever.” She wanted it understood that she knew it wasn’t a big deal. It happened. It’d been an emotional moment.
“So you’d rather be friends?” he asked, his frown easing up only slightly.
“Of course. Wouldn’t you?”
He didn’t respond, just looked at her thoughtfully.
The boy squealed with delight and Amiee took off, chasing after him. Steve glanced over his shoulder. “Jeremy’s a great kid. Alicia couldn’t have children and …” He paused as if he’d said more than he’d intended.
“Jeremy needs someone like you.” Just from the way the boy looked at Steve, Cassie could tell he idolized him.
“He does. His father is mostly out of the picture. I try to spend time with him once a week or so.”
Cassie opened her car door to climb out and the door creaked. Steve frowned and shook his head. “It’s amazing this car still runs.”
“It’s served me well,” Cassie said, in the car’s defense.
“You need a new one.”
“Well, that’s not going to happen anytime soon,” she said.
“Mom, Mom.” Amiee came racing back to Cassie. “Steve is going to build a fire and burn all this wood. Can we roast hot dogs with him and Jeremy?”
“Ah …” She looked to Steve.
“We wouldn’t be intruding?” This was supposed to be his time with Jeremy.
“Not really. The more, the merrier.”
“Can we, Mom, can we?” Amiee pleaded.
Despite all her claims to the contrary, Cassie felt herself drawn in by the idea of spending time with Steve. “Okay.”
Amiee and Jeremy cheered wildly. They hugged enthusiastically and then raced around in tight circles. The little boy had certainly captured her daughter’s interest. Cassie hadn’t realized how well Amiee related to younger kids.
Steve handed Cassie a rake and she started cleaning up the yard, adding leaves and twigs to the bonfire pile.
“Are you sore from moving all that furniture?” she asked, as she gathered an armful of debris to deposit on the pile.
“A little,” he confessed. If he admitted that, it must mean he was aching from head to foot.
Keeping her head lowered, Cassie told him, “I’m really grateful for your help, Steve. I couldn’t have done it without you.” She wasn’t just referring to him driving there, and she hoped he knew it.
“Not a problem.” He brushed aside her appreciation. “It was something I wanted to do.”
“Because of Britt.” The words were out before she could censor herself. She added, “Because of what happened at the Sounders game?”
He didn’t answer right away. “Partially, I suppose but I …” He let the thought trail off without finishing.
They continued working side by side for a few more minutes in companionable silence. Then he said, “I won’t be around this next week.”
“Oh?” She experienced an instant sense of loss. She’d miss seeing him, although she couldn’t very well admit as much.
“I’m going to be working out of town for the next couple weeks.”
“But Saturday’s the Hoedown.” She wanted to bite back the words the minute they left her mouth.
He smiled. “No worries, I’ll be back in town for the Hoedown next Saturday.”
“I wasn’t worried,” she was quick to say, although it was a lie.
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