Then I left SeaWorld and went over to the other side. When Blackfish premiered at Sundance, I knew that both mother and daughter would be confused. The girl was 15 at the time, old enough to be really planning how to get started in the industry with the right education, extracurricular volunteer work and training. So I called her mom and asked if I could talk to her daughter. She put me on the phone with her. I let her ask me questions first. They were immediate and came from someone who was already attached emotionally to the whales: “How could you leave Takara? Do you miss her? Would you return to SeaWorld?”
I told her the truth. I missed Takara a lot but I couldn’t return. I said I was fortunate and had an incredible career with those whales. Then I told her, “I don’t have the right to tell you or any other child that it’s not right for you to have the same dream I had. The responsibility I have is to share my story and to tell you exactly all the good and the bad I witnessed during my career.” My job now is to tell the truth—both the inspiring stories from what was a storybook career and the horrors that emerged from the corporate exploitation of the whales and trainers.
Will there no longer be a need for trainers if my advocacy for the whales reaches its goals? The answer to that question is, most likely, “No.” Even if we stop SeaWorld’s breeding program, there will still be killer whales in captivity for decades to come because of whales born in captivity. (There were several born in the last two years, including to Kalia, who was artificially inseminated at the age of eight, in July 2013, and gave birth to her calf on December 2, 2014.) They will live out the rest of their lives in the care of man—though hopefully in a habitat where their lives will be of a higher quality than they now have at SeaWorld. For those whales, I do believe there is a role for kids like my confused young fan to grow up to fill. These whales will need caretakers who will hopefully stand up and fight for them.
This book has been about water. But since leaving SeaWorld to confront the corporation, I have stepped into the fire. Speaking out and becoming part of the controversy was a leap of faith, a conversion experience that I feel is purifying me. I didn’t want to grow old and live with regret that I did not speak out. As a trainer, I knew too much and my heart was too heavy with doubt from years living the ideology of SeaWorld. I had to tell the truth. It was what I owed the whales.
I regret that there is only so much I can do for the whales I have worked with, swum with, and loved. They may, with time and the efforts of advocates, get a better life than they have now. But they will never experience what humans had no right to take from them in the first place.
For me, it will always come back to one orca, Takara. She will never know what it is like to be free. Because of that, I know that a part of me will never be free either.
Epilogue
Life without Takara
One of the paradoxes of my life is that, for all my love of animals, I never really had a pet as an adult. My erratic and often long hours at SeaWorld made it almost impossible to have one. I couldn’t keep a dog waiting 12 or 14 hours for me to get home. It would have been cruel.
There was a much more sentimental and emotional reason I did not want pets. I didn’t want to lose them. I’ve written about my tears and breakdowns when I left Kasatka and the other whales as a result of taking the job in Marineland in France; and then the pain when I left Takara to become an orca advocate. Whenever the thought arose of bringing an animal into my own home, I became wary and anxious. The life spans of dogs and cats are short. I didn’t want to make another living being a part of my life, to become family, only to lose him or her.
Beowulf changed all that for me.
It was about 2009 or 2010. I was dating a guy who was in the Navy. He was housed with four other military men. One of them, Tom, was the owner of a half-pitbull, half-Dalmatian mix named Beowulf after the legendary Scandinavian hero. But this Beowulf wasn’t male; she was a force of nature.
I first saw her when she, her owner and his friends were still stationed in Monterey, California. Tom loved her, but when she stopped being a puppy, she started to become aggressive, getting into fights with other dogs. She was trouble. One day, Tom took her out running and, despite a shock collar around her neck, Beowulf couldn’t be stopped from attacking a man on a bicycle. She slammed into him, knocked him off the bike and latched on to his leg. The shock collar was activated to its highest—a 10—again and again but she would not let go until Tom got a hold of her. He loved her but worried about legal and medical liabilities. He didn’t know how to stop the aggressions, which were escalating. He decided it was time to euthanize her.
I heard what he was planning to do. I knew little about Beowulf but I never liked the idea of putting down a dog. I convinced Tom to let me take her with me to Texas for three months; I’d try to work out her problems and get a handle on her aggression and then he could have her back. He agreed and shipped her to me on a plane.
Three months later, when Tom called, I didn’t know what to say. I had fallen in love with her and was afraid he wanted her back. To my relief, Tom asked if I wanted to keep her. What can I say? I am drawn to dangerous animals. We were a perfect fit.
Aggression will always be part of Beowulf. I could train her not to be hostile to specific animals and people. But I had to condition her to tolerate each one separately. If she hasn’t been trained by slow approximation to accept your presence, she won’t. She will never be a friendly dog. I keep her away from most people. And so she only goes out with me. I can’t be away from home longer than a few days because no one else can get close enough to feed her unless I’ve conditioned her to accept them. When I travel, she’s by my side. We’ve lived in California, Texas and now in New York City. Wherever I end up, she’ll be with me. I’ll never abandon her.
Beowulf is also obsessed with water. She will swim for hours and will sweep down fast rapids, diving to get a ball, a stick or whatever we’re playing with. She is another dangerous animal that means everything to me.
Like the whales, aggression doesn’t mean that an animal is bad. It just means they’re complex. That is Beowulf’s key to my heart—she’s difficult but she let me in, allowed me to be close. Like Takara and her mother and the other orcas.
Beowulf
Acknowledgments
I come from a family that covers a spectrum of two extremes when it comes to compassion for animals. On one end, I have a relative who has exhibited such cruelty to animals that he once killed his own dog because he said he wanted to know what it felt like. On the opposite end of that spectrum is my sister Missy Hargrove, who shares my love and compassion for all animals. She always has pets and is so tenderhearted that she will save snakes snared in fences even though she is scared to death of them. She picks up mosquito hawks caught in the rain, whose wings are so drenched they cannot fly—then blows on them until they are sufficiently dry enough to fly off. Missy, where would I be without you? Despite our interrupted childhoods away from each other, we have always been close and there for each other through the good and the bad. You are an inspiration for being so open and tenderhearted to all animals. I am so proud you’re my sister. I love you the most!
Quentin Elias—
My greatest love. Our life together in Paris and the south of France was out of a storybook. We were in our late twenties, invincible, and had it all. Your tragic death at only 38 years of age in 2014 in New York City still haunts me. You told me to never leave you and I never did. I’ll see you when I get home.
My Publisher, Palgrave Macmillan Trade—
The team of Elisabeth Dyssegaard, Karen Wolny, Lauren LoPinto, Lauren Janiec, Christine Catarino, Laura Apperson, and Michelle Fitzgerald: Thank you for believing in me and my life story with these whales, and believing that people need to hear my story for change. All of you have been great to me, and I’m proud and fortunate to have you bring my story to life.
&n
bsp; My literary agent, Farley Chase—
During our first meeting in your office in Manhattan, after I explained my experiences and vision to you for just ten minutes, you completely got it. Thank you for all your hard work and truly believing my story needed to be told.
My co-writer, Howard Chua-Eoan—
A friend for more than ten years, you were the first to press me to write this book; thank you for lending your talents to make this book possible. Howard is grateful to Josh Tyrangiel and Ellen Pollock of Bloomberg Businessweek for giving him time to work on this project. He also wants to thank Phil Bildner for counsel, Dan Mathews for support and Brett Garrett for coffee.
Tom Wihera and John Laffin—
Two of the toughest guys I know. You both have my admiration for your resilience and for what you both have accomplished in the military. You guys are true role models. Our friendship came quick, easy, and real. Your support in New York City for the opening weekend of Blackfish meant a great deal to me personally. Tom, congratulations on your beautiful wife, Christina, and for giving me my “greatest gift.”
Lisa Gisczinski—
You had the courage to stand by me, your friend of more than 20 years. It says everything about you. I love you.
All my friends and former colleagues who are still with SeaWorld who still support me—
After all the friendships of former colleagues I lost, your support means the world to me. We know right from wrong and what is really happening here. I understand your need to protect yourself and stay silent, for fear of retribution from management. Every person has their own journey. Please stay safe. I love you guys.
David Sepe—
We have more than a ten-year history; brought together in 2003 and then again in 2014 by the same person but this time in tragedy. No more lost years.
Ryan Buckley—
CNN is lucky to have you. Who wouldn’t be lucky to have the eternal Mr. Sunshine and 4/4? Everyone loves Ryan. Thank you for supporting me and being a great friend.
Chad Allen Lazzari—
Friends for 20 years. I am so proud of your immense accomplishments and who you have always been as a person. So proud of our history. You are one of the most valuable people to me. All love to you, your mom, and your grandmother.
Joseph Kapsch—
I have never laughed so hard or had so much fun while living the party life in Los Angeles. How did we survive all the situations we got into? And we did it with the best humor. You are truly one of my best friends . . .”This light is making us crazy.”
Mark Schapira—
One of my best friends, you have always supported me, and we’ve shared some of the craziest times in Los Angeles (and New York). Love you, Mark.
John Atchley—
You have shown generosity and consistent loyalty and support of me as a friend for more than 13 years. Thank you for everything.
Bruce Martin—
I was 18, a runaway, with no money and no possessions. I was fortunate that fate and intuition brought me to the right people at just the right time. The security and direction you provided with the purest of intentions came when I needed it the most. You will always be special to me.
OSHA & Lara Padgett—
Thank you for ensuring that employers are providing a safe and healthful workplace. We had serious safety issues for decades at Shamu Stadium and with no union to protect us or make sure we had rights as employees we were alone until your perseverance.
To all the doctors and specialists that have worked on me through the years as a result of all the killer whale injuries—
To the six different orthopedic surgeons, I’m sorry I wasn’t ready to accept your advice to end my killer whale career, and thank you to the one who injected me with everything known to science to buy me three more years with the whales so I could have time to come to terms with closing that chapter. To my great sinus surgeon here in New York City, my pain management specialists, all my primary care doctors and my podiatrist who diagnosed my fractured foot and said I needed surgery (which I continue to put off)—thank you. And finally, thank you to the medical osteopaths who put my back and neck back together countless times and to the Manhattan Sports Medicine Group.
Eric Balfour and Erin Chiamulon—
Your presence with us as we spoke to the members of the California State Assembly on this issue, and your passion and knowledge, contributed greatly. You are wonderful people and I enjoyed my time with both of you.
All those, including the Kotler family, who travelled to Sacramento, CA, to support us during our testimony before the California State Assembly for “The Orca Welfare & Safety Act”—
I watched as they let the hundreds of you who couldn’t get seats inside the chamber flood in from the hallways. You came from all parts of California, other states, and even from other countries, just to have ten seconds at that mic to show your support. In that moment I was both humbled and inspired and knew I made the right decision to speak out. Thank you.
Assemblyman Richard Bloom (D-CA) and his staff—
Thank you for authoring the historic bill AB 2140, “The Orca Welfare and Safety Act.”
NYS Senator Greg Ball (R-NY) and Assemblyman James Tedisco (R-NY)—
Thank you for authoring similar legislation in New York State named the “Blackfish Bill.”
Howard Garrett, Dr. Naomi Rose, Dr. Deborah Giles, Dr. Lori Marino & Dr. Ingrid Visser—
Your combined knowledge, experience, and research has taught us all, including me, about the real lives of orcas living free in the wild. Thank you for your contribution to my book.
Gabriela Cowperthwaite—
I know you made Blackfish from the right place in your heart, and you pushed this longstanding debate into the forefront of mainstream consciousness. Thank you and your producer, Manny Oteyza, for caring about this issue and me and always treating me ethically and protecting my anonymity.
Tim Zimmermann and Elizabeth Batt—
For your tireless contribution to progress awareness on this issue while upholding the highest of journalistic ethics, thank you.
Ceta-Base—
Thank you for your contribution of invaluable factual data and statistics on captive orcas.
To my following family who have truly loved and supported me—
Ricky and Pauline Hargrove, Jeannie and Bruce Alexander, April and Trey King and their families; Jack and Darlene Tindel, and their children Jack and Tracy and their families; Lynn and Linda Brackin, their children and families; Jamie Brackin-Semon, her family, including her mother, Linda.
My grandparents Walter and Merle Brackin who have passed—
I remember how powerful it was to feel the strength of your unconditional love, knowing you would always protect your family. You are both loved and missed by all of us who were blessed to have you as family.
Darlene Tindel (Aunt Sissy) and Tracy Tindel-Green—
You have shown me such tremendous support during my killer whale career but most importantly now. You know how much I loved you growing up and wanted to be around you. I knew I was loved and I was safe. Thank you for giving me that. I love you.
April Hargrove-King—
You are more my sister than cousin, you stood by my side through all the years of total madness and you were never fazed by it and I love you so much for it. You were my perfect date for the New York City premiere of Blackfish. And what a perfect day together at Coney Island before the premiere.
I’d like to thank the following friends who have also always supported me—
Christina Freedman, Lana Gersman, Frank Santisario, Veronica Rosmaninho, Alex Caputo, Hezi Imbar, Tim Friese, Dave Lendon, Darryl Colen, Marcos Prolo, Kelly Culkin, Cheryl Semcer, Matthew Walker, Tim Brock, Tony Marion, Jure Klepic, Juan Carlos Gutierr
ez, Ron Lynch, Michelle Guillot, Randy Musgrove, Kim Clemons, Jennifer Parkhurst and her beautiful son Indy.
Alex and Greg Bruehler, who were both killed in October 2009 while riding a tandem bicycle when a man drove onto the shoulder of the road hitting them at 70 mph with his truck; they left behind their seven-year-old daughter, Kylie—
Alex and I were trainers together at SeaWorld of California and her husband, Greg, worked in animal care. You are both loved and missed.
Former trainers Carol Ray, Sam Berg, Dr. John Jett, Dr. Jeff Ventre, and Dean Gomersall—
We worked at different SeaWorld parks at different times but we are forever bonded by our parallel experiences from the past and the present. You are wonderful people who have contributed so much awareness. We are most powerful as a united front. Very challenging for SeaWorld to overcome that we collectively cover every SeaWorld park from 1987 to 2012.
To my other sisters and brother—
Lenora Hargrove, Sheila Archuletta, and Ashley and Matt Hargrove, and their families—I love you.
My father Steve and his wife Elsie—
More than 20 years are completely gone but at the end of the day, it’s about today. For reasons known to only you and me, thank you for what you have given me since 2010 and your support.
My mother Anne—
Thank you for giving me a loving and happy childhood when I was a young boy. I choose to remember all those years when a little boy could not have loved his mother more.
Beowulf—
Beneath the Surface: Killer Whales, SeaWorld, and the Truth Beyond Blackfish Page 24
