Hard Lessons: (A Wild Minds Prequel Novel)

by Charlotte West

  “Of course,” I promised.

  “Can Billy come?” she asked.

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head. Billy usually woke up around noon. “It might be too early for your fath—”

  “I’d love to come, little bird.” Billy interjected. “Thanks for inviting me.”

  Addy shivered in her thin unicorn pajamas. I should’ve made her put on a coat, but I didn’t think we’d be out here this long. The fans along the chain-link fence had calmed; a couple still yelled for Billy. I rolled my eyes heavenward, making a decision at my own expense. The child always came first. I shrugged out of my cardigan and wrapped it around Addy’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s say goodbye to Mr. Wiggles.”

  Addy gave a very long-winded eulogy, which included mention of all of the things she and Mr. Wiggles had done together: watch cartoons, sleep, brush their teeth. She clearly loved the pet. Maybe I’d ask Billy about getting her a hamster or something small, like a hedgehog. Then we could name her Hattie. Hattie the hedgehog. So cute. Billy stayed back, smoking his cigarette and watching the whole thing with a gleam in his eyes. What could he be thinking?

  Addy finished up and said, “Your turn Daisy.”

  “Goodbye, Mr. Wiggles,” I said. Crap, I should’ve spent the time Addy had been speaking thinking of something to say instead of staring at her sexy father through my eyelashes. “You were a wonderful friend to Addy, and I’ll always love you for that.”

  Addy smiled, pleased with my sentiment. “Now you, Billy,” she instructed.

  Billy blew smoke rings. “Mr. Wiggles you were a good chap. Thanks for being a good friend to my little bird.” He echoed my words, gazing at me, that strange gleam still in his eye. I straightened under his scrutiny, then crossed my arms, the chilly night hardening my nipples.

  “What do we do now?” asked Addy.

  “Ah, it’s time for the Viking part. A long time ago, in a land many oceans away…” My voice dropped to a low pitch, to the lull of a storyteller. “Heroes and heroines, brave men and women, were cremated on pyres.”

  “Pyres?” Addison whispered, eyes big.

  “Yes, a structure, like the one we built for Mr. Wiggles, is lit on fire.” I kept my focus on Addy although I could feel Billy nearby, the heat of his stare on my back. “People believed that when the smoke rose from the fire, it carried the spirit of the dead and delivered them to Valhalla, a mythical kingdom in the clouds, full of long tables always set with food, mostly desserts, golden chairs and trees that bloomed gem stones.”

  “Awesome,” Addy said.

  “I know.” I smiled. “Now all we need to do is light it.” I patted my sleep shorts. Shoot. I’d forgotten a lighter. But I knew who had one. Slowly, I turned.

  Billy’s lip turned up. “Need something, flower?”

  “May I borrow your lighter?”

  “Of course.” He dug into his pocket and produced a silver zippo. By this time his cigarette had dwindled and lay on the ground, cherry still smoldering. “Here you go.” He held it out to me, waiting for me to reach for it. To get the zippo, I’d need to uncross my arms, let my chest hang out. Billy’s lip turned up another half an inch. Smug bastard. He was trying to cop a peek. Addy yawned. I needed to get her in bed ASAP. I was going to have one cranky girl on my hands tomorrow morning. I frowned at him, quickly uncrossed my arms and snatched the lighter. His eyes settled on my breasts as they bounced with the movement. “You’re a perv,” I whisper-hissed.

  Billy’s laugh boomed. “I’ve been accused of worse.”

  “Ever been accused of sexual harassment?” I asked.

  Billy sobered, a little. Then he grinned. “No that’d be a first, and an honor if it were coming from you.”

  I said nothing. Tiredness shrouded me. I wasn’t up to exchanging more barbs with Billy. Fast as I could, I lit the corners of the box. The damn thing lit up, contracting and then crumpling. Addy oohed and ahhed the exact same way she did over the Fourth of July fireworks. I led us back toward our bus. I made a point of ignoring Billy, but I could still feel him back there, his stare like a heat-seeking missile directed at the center of my back.

  Addy peered up at me. “Can I sleep with you?”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  As I predicted, Addy woke bright, early and fresh-faced at seven-thirty. And she remembered my promise of hot chocolate. I put the kettle on the stove and dug out the box of premium Belgian hot chocolate. She and Billy had brought it back after a trip to Germany. I didn’t get to go on the trip. But I also didn’t get the time off either. Addy needed new clothes, school supplies, etc. So, I’d spent the time shopping for her. I hummed, waiting for the kettle to boil. Addy’s tutor was in the shower. The chef had gone off to grocery shop before the band woke and the assistants had been up before us, doing whatever assistants do.

  I hadn’t broken the news to my small charge yet that her day would be spent in school. Exhausted, I wasn’t up for the battle. Addy would cry, then I might cry too, because I’d witnessed the dragon lady’s mean streak, one that included writing Addy’s name on a chalkboard if she misbehaved, then putting checks next to it with each infraction. The checks deducted minutes from Addy’s free time. I’d never been a fan of public shaming.

  The door to the bus squeaked open and Billy, in all his disheveled goodness, boarded. He wore sunglasses. The day was overcast. I’d bet he was nursing a hell of a hangover. “My god,” he said. “I always thought it was a myth. People really do wake up this early in the morning.”

  “Look what I drew!” Addy held up her paper.

  Billy scratched his head, moved closer. “Is that a…?”

  “Giraffe. It’s a wonderful giraffe,” I blurted. Addy had been into drawing animals lately. Unfortunately, she’d only drawn the neck so far, and the head, which looked like a giant yellow penis with brown spots.

  “Phew. I thought you were up to your dirty tricks again, flower.” He sauntered closer, until he brushed against my body. The faintest scent of whiskey emanated from his skin but his breath smelled fresh, like mint. “Back to dressing like an elderly gentlemen, I see.” My mouth dropped open. I’d worn a comfy pair of jeans and a mustard-colored sweater. Okay, I guess the waist of my jeans did ride a little high. And I’d seen my grandfather wear a sweater eerily similar to the one I wore. He spoke low and in my ear, lips nearly touching my skin. “Are you wearing one of those tank tops under that hideous thing? If you are, I demand you stop suffocating it.”

  A flush of heat ran through me. “You know, you’re much more tolerable when your mouth is closed.”

  Billy stepped away, laughing, husky and low. I’m glad I amused him. The tea-kettle whistled. I made myself busy pouring the milk into mugs and stirring them with chocolate, giving myself an extra scoop. I deserved it. I sat a steaming cup in front of Addy, then one in front of Billy, who’d slung himself across from her. His arms ran the length of the booth, and his fingers tapped restlessly against the leather. “So what does one do this early in the morning?”

  “Daisy and me are going to the zoo!” Addy said.

  Oh, she wished. “No, Mrs. Dodd will be out in a minute and you’ve got a full day of school ahead of you,” I corrected her.

  Addy stuck out her lower lip. I knew that look. Billy was a sucker for it. Right on cue, Billy whipped of his sunglasses. Dark circles hung under his green eyes. “What’s the matter?” Concern was etched all over his face. How could he be such an ass, yet be so sweet with his daughter? Actually scratch that, not sweet—a complete pushover.

  “It’s just that I was looking forward to going to the zoo. Today is our last day in San Diego. I don’t know when we’ll be back. I wanted to give one of the zookeepers my giraffe picture.” She was good. I’d give her that.

  In an instant, Billy was dialing his phone. I’d seen this before, too. He would call one of his assistants, or Trent or his manager, Steve, aka Rat Face, and demand they figure out a VIP trip for Addison to the San Diego Zoo. No
t on my watch.

  I smiled at Addy. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go get dressed?”

  Addy was quick to comply, no doubt eager to be on her way to the zoo.

  “Hey, Terry,” Billy spoke into the phone.

  The voice on the other end was loud, and I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. “It’s Perry, sir.”

  “Whatever. Listen, I need you to set up a trip to the San Diego Zoo for Addison.”

  “Today?”

  “Yes, pull out all the stops. I want to hear all about her feeding giraffes and wrestling lions by the end of the day.”

  “Sir, I don’t know—”

  “Do it, Terry. Or you’re fired.” Billy hung up.

  I clicked my tongue and shook my head. I dumped my hot chocolate in the sink and sighed. A minute ticked by and I sighed twice more.

  “Oh for fuck’s sake. What’s the problem now, flower?” Billy all but shouted.

  I turned to face Billy and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Nothing.”

  “It’s too early in the morning for this. I’ve got a massive hangover and want to go back to bed. You know some of us have to work late in order to pay your exorbitant salary.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Billy, how thoughtless of me.” I made my voice sound syrupy sweet. “Addison,” I called down the hall.

  Addy peeked out from the bedroom. “Yes?” She was wearing a polyester, rainbow shirt and black leggings with gold glitter. She looked like Elton John’s bedroom had thrown up all over her.

  “Good news! Billy is going to join us today.” I heard Billy make a sort of choking noise. Take that, jerk face. I wasn’t done. “He’s going to go with us. But first he wants to take us out for breakfast, all the pancakes you can eat. Then he wants to listen to Free to Be You and Me the whole ride.” I couldn’t wait to see Billy’s face turn green while we ate. Most mornings, Billy had a Bloody Mary and four aspirin for breakfast. And he hated, hated, Free to be You and Me. He loathed it so much. There was no way he’d risk disappointing his “little bird.” Billy had an Achilles heel, and its name started with an A and ended with a y.

  Addy let out a delighted squeal and darted back into the bedroom, probably to add another layer to her outfit. To Addy, the more bright colors and sparkles, the better.

  Billy’s crankiness increased tenfold. “Why the hell did you do that?”

  I pursed my lips. “Addy was supposed to go to school today.” And I was planning on having a few hours to myself. Do my nails. Call the Colonel. Maybe take a shower and shave my legs. More emphasis on the shower and less on the shaving. As far as I was concerned, my body had been permanently winterized.

  Billy’s gaze bored into me. “I should fire you for insubordination.”

  I tipped my chin up in a “go ahead, I don’t care” kind of way. Inside though, I was reeling. Please don’t fire me. Don’t fire me. Why did I always let my temper get the best of me around him?

  Billy made a growly sound between frustration and displeasure. He ground out, “I’ll be ready in ten minutes.” He pushed himself from the booth. “I’m going to have a smoke. Make sure Addy stays inside.”

  “Oh.” I frowned, unsettled. Had something I said last night gotten through to Billy? He wasn’t going to smoke around Addy anymore? “Billy,” I called out. He paused on the stairs, muscled jaw working under blond scruff. “I’m glad you decided to curb the cigarettes around Addy.”

  He jerked his chin. “I’m still going to smoke, flower. Don’t think you can go around telling me what to do.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Inside I smiled, smug and self-assured.

  “And don’t think I’m not going to remember the little stunt you just pulled. Payback’s a bitch.” That said, he exited the bus.

  A little thrill raced down my spine at his promise of retribution. Last night, he’d threatened to spank me. I poured milk back into the kettle and clicked on the stovetop, intent on making myself a second cup of hot chocolate. Billy had gotten me so flustered I didn’t have a chance to enjoy my first cup.

  As I puttered around the kitchen, a thought occurred and with it I smiled, smug again. It seemed like Billy Wanks needed some tough love, too. In no time I’d be managing the hell out of my employer. I so had this.

  I so didn’t have it.

  Billy Wanks was a temperamental, mercurial pile of shit. And who always had to shovel that shit? The nanny with no backbone, that’s who. We were on the East Coast, in Charlotte, North Carolina. Wanks and Janks were on stage rehearsing. The auditorium was empty, save for roadies and sound technicians. Addy was in the front row, huge headphones positioned over her ears and roach costume securely on. Halloween was still a few weeks away, but Addy had worn the insect getup almost every day since Billy had presented it to her. I had scoured the internet for five hours to find that damn costume, and when it came in the mail Billy had intercepted it and given it to Addy. Damn him.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, facing Trent. “What did you say he wants?” No way I could’ve possibly heard him correctly. I hadn’t given too much attention to Billy’s promise of payback. I should’ve. I should’ve been terrified. The demands started twenty-four hours after our trip to the zoo. It had been a magical day, full of sun and cotton candy. Addy even got to feed a giraffe. Whatever good spirits I possessed dwindled rapidly. The requests started small. Trent or one of Billy’s assistants would approach me. Billy wants a cup of coffee, one sugar and a dash of milk. Billy needs his bed made. Billy ran out of his aftershave, can you pick some up?

  I did the tasks without thinking, without questioning. It was okay with me that perhaps this was outside the boundaries of my job description. But then again, keeping Addy happy was in my job description and by extension, keeping her father that way too. If he wasn’t happy then no one was, I justified. So I complied. We were, after all, in Billy Wanks’ world.

  But then the demands started to become a little more ludicrous. Billy wants lobster for dinner. Maine lobster. We were in Virginia. Billy doesn’t like the furniture in his dressing room. He wants a blue velvet couch like Elvis had; you need to find it and have it delivered in the next two hours. Billy isn’t feeling well, he wants homemade chicken noodle soup and he needs you to feed it to him, he’s too weak to lift his arms. Three months later and here we were.

  Trent sighed and gave me a pitying look. “He wants you to refill all of Jett’s vanilla pudding cups with mayonnaise.”

  I scratched my forehead. I felt a migraine coming on. “Explain it to me again.”Trent shrugged helplessly. “Some joke he wants to play on Jett. He wants you to sneak into their dressing room tonight while they’re performing and refill all of Jett’s vanilla pudding cups with mayo. He wanted me to tell to you to make sure to be careful when you replace the foil so it’s not wrinkled. Apparently, he’s tried this before and Jett noticed.”

  “God forbid.”

  “He also wants you to play around with dyeing the mayo to try to match the exact shade of the vanilla pudding.”

  My shoulders slumped. “What did I do to deserve this?” I didn’t need to ask. I knew exactly what I had done. I’d stood up to him, had the audacity to point out that smoking was bad for his child, then tricked him into a fun-filled day at the zoo. Everyone thought there was one child on this tour, Addy. But there were two. Her father had all the charm and maturity of two-year-old stuck in an epic temper tantrum.

  “Sorry, Daisy.” Trent patted my shoulder with a meaty paw. The head of security and I had grown closer over the past six months. “I don’t know what you did to piss him off, but he seems dead set on making your life hell. Usually he forces interns or assistants to do this kind of shit. I got you some mayo and put it in your trailer, along with the food dye. I’d do it for you, but he was adamant you do it or—”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “Or I’m fired.” Billy threatened my employment daily to keep me in line. I felt my back pocket, the outline of my cell phone under the denim. Since Billy’s outlandish
behavior started, I’d been applying double time to jobs. My inbox stayed empty and my phone remained silent. Another year and I’d have collected enough money to quit. A year. It sounded so, so long.

  I swallowed. I should’ve taken the nanny job with the stick-up-her-ass mom and wandering-hands dad.

  I stuck two fingers in my mouth and whistled. Despite the earphones, Addy perked up. I’d trained her to listen for the high-pitched signal. She waved and I motioned for her to come to me. We had some pudding cups to fill. We exited the auditorium to Wanks and Janks practicing one of their hit songs, Blue Dream. Addy was in front of me, so she didn’t see as I extended both middle fingers up and held them high, flashing the band and their cranky lead singer a big “fuck you.” The music screeched to a stop.

  Laughter, I’m assuming from Jett, Chord and Turner, reached my ears. Billy’s antics had been amusing them for months. “I saw that, flower.” Billy spoke into the microphone, voice echoing through the empty auditorium. I thought the dark hallway would conceal my little fuck you. Whoops. I had these little flare-ups often. Billy egged me on, and I became less mature. It was all his fault. The more I fought back, the more Billy seemed encouraged. What is the advice parents often give their children? Oh, that’s right. Just ignore him or her. Unfortunately, I hadn’t done that in grade school. And I wasn’t going to start now.

  “He’s going to murder you for this.” I startled at the voice. It was late, well, late to me. Nine-thirty p.m., to be exact. I peeked over my shoulder. Jett stood at the threshold of the bathroom, big shoulder propped against the frame.

  “It’ll be worth it,” I replied.

  The band was staying at a hotel. Thank god. I didn’t realize how much I loved real beds and wide showers since having to live on a bus. The concert would be tomorrow night. The band had gone off to a club. Addy and I were staying in a three-bedroom suite with Billy. Which I’d objected to. But Billy had insisted. What if I need something in the middle of the night? he’d said. Plus I want to be close to my daughter. Are you trying to deny me my parental rights? I had so many responses to that. Most began with F and ended with U. I’d zipped my lips. Then after spending two and half hours refilling pudding cups with mayo, I decided to make the shared living situation work for me and against Billy.