“It’s all right.” A real smile appeared on his face. “I got little bird. And now I got you, don’t I?”
I’m not sure what he was asking but it seemed best to agree, to keep him calm and happy. I wanted him to be happy. The thought startled me. When had I started to care? “Yes, you have me.”
He closed his eyes. His chest rose with even, steady breaths. Long blond eyelashes fanned his cheeks. I thought he’d fallen asleep, but then he spoke. “Tell me a secret, flower.”
Reaching out, I took the bottle from his hand and set it on the table. He didn’t protest; instead he settled deeper into the couch and crossed his arms. “Well, I lick your bacon most mornings.”
“I already knew that.”
With my tongue, I moistened my lips. My voice dropped to a whisper, it could just be heard over the crackle of the fire. “Sometimes I call your assistants and tell them you need something but it’s really for me.”
The corner of his mouth tilted up. “Things like what?”
“The last time was for new panties. I saw a sale online and couldn’t make it there on time.” I bit my lip, smiling inside. “They think you have quite the fetish now. Sorry.”
“No wonder Terry—”
“Perry,” I corrected.
Billy ignored me and continued on. “Was looking at me funny. He thought I was wearing women’s knickers under all my clothes.”
“That’s not why,” I said. “I told them you liked to sleep with the panties, that the softness reminds you of your childhood blankie.”
“They must think I’m such a pansy. If I wasn’t so comfortable with my masculinity, I’d be offended.”
Silence reigned. I watched Billy. Soft snores punctuated his breaths. “Billy?” I whispered. He didn’t answer, didn’t move. He’d fallen asleep.
I rose from the couch, retrieved a cashmere throw from a chair and covered Billy’s shoulders. Then, since I knew he was sleeping, I let more of my secrets slip. “My mom died when I was seven. Since then it’s been just my dad and me. He’s nothing like you are with Addy.” Something lodged in my throat, a deep longing to be part of Billy’s world. It had nothing to do with his fame or money. I never aspired to either of those. It had everything to do with Addy and the man he was—the family, the life he’d created with his daughter. “Sometimes I get lonely too. I get so lonely it seems as if I’m lost in a dark house and I’ll never find my way out.”
The call came two months later. We were in New Orleans. It was raining and I’d stepped off the bus, huddled under a tent and answered my phone. Addy was inside with her tutor, AKA Dragon Lady, learning about rock formations. I’d like to throw a rock at Dragon Lady’s head. The woman’s disposition had not improved.
“Hello?” I answered the unknown number. Billy had a new assistant, it could be them calling, requesting something on Billy’s behalf. Billy held true to his word: the morning after Thanksgiving, he didn’t remember a thing. He’d gone right back to his egotistical, ornery self. But things had shifted. At least with the roadies and band and management, I’d become known as some kind of Billy whisperer. It seemed instead of one charge, I now had two. I should’ve asked for a pay raise. But the truth was, I kind of liked it, feeling needed, feeling wanted. Maybe it was part of my eagerness to please, the result of a childhood spent with an indifferent father.
“Ms. Clemmens?” A woman’s voice asked on the other end.
“This is she.” The back stage door burst open and Billy emerged. He cupped his hands over his mouth and hollered for Addy, “Little bird! Let’s go eat beignets and spoil our dinner.” I stuck a finger in my ear and stepped to the center of the tent. The lady had been speaking. I hadn’t heard a word. “I’m sorry, will you repeat that?”
“Ms. Clemmens, this is Jane Simpson from Briarwood Academy.” I sucked in an uneasy breath. Way back when, I’d had an interview with Briarwood Academy. I hadn’t gotten the job, but the head mistress said she would let me know if anything came up that might suit me. “We have a teacher taking maternity leave in January. She’s elected to stay home after the baby is born. We’d like to offer you a teaching position for the rest of this year and next.”
A squeal of laughter had me turning. Addy was off the bus and Billy had linked hands with her, along with the rest of the band, and they were spinning around, Addy’s legs almost off the ground. My eyes focused on Addy as she whirred by. Then on Billy. I couldn’t leave her. I couldn’t leave him. Damn my heart; I was all in. “Thank you so much for the offer, but I rescind my candidacy.”
“Ms. Clemmens, are you sure?” Surprise colored her tone. Briarwood Academy had been one of my top picks, a high-achieving school with a diverse population.
“Yes.” My throat felt dry. “I have another position that I’m quite happy with.”
“Well, if you ever change your mind, please do let me know. I shouldn’t say this, but you were my top candidate for the other position. Unfortunately, another teacher here at Briarwood with more seniority wanted it.”
“Thank you,” I said. We exchanged a few more pleasantries and hung up. Over the next few months, there’d be more opportunities—job offers ranging from executive assistant to teacher—but I stayed with Addy and Billy. From the sidelines, I watched Addy grow, and Billy kiss groupies and drink too much whiskey. I loved them from the outside. My selflessness gave rise to their selfishness. It wasn’t their fault. The magic father-daughter duo made me want to give. And people always take if you let them.
A few months later and Dragon Lady was dead. Well, not literally dead, metaphorically deceased. She’d been fired after Billy discovered Addy quietly crying in the bathroom over one of Dragon Lady’s reprimands.
One year passed with a revolving door of tutors. None stuck. The band ended their tour. Billy decided he wanted to record and live in Texas for the summer. According to him: “Everything is bigger in Texas, and this next album is going to be our biggest yet.” He leased a ranch, and the whole band was crashing at the ten-thousand-square-foot house. Addy and I got our own wing. Yippee. We treated the polished floors like an ice rink and skated around in our socks. I liked the downtime. Come fall, we were headed back on tour. We needed to find a new tutor for Addy ASAP. I’d arranged all the interviews. Holding a stack of resumes close to my chest, I rattled off the next interviewee’s qualifications to a barely listening Billy. Trent had taken Addy for ice cream.
“His name is Joseph Winters, and he has his master’s in education.” Like me, I thought, feeling the tiniest pinch. Where had that dream gone? I’d sacrificed so much for Billy and Addy, and they didn’t even know. Would Billy appreciate me more if he did?
Billy frowned and tapped out something on his phone.
“Billy?” I said.
“Flower,” he said, not looking up, not quitting texting.
“Are you listening to me at all?”
“Course I am. I remember everything you’ve ever said to me.” Not everything. Not anything from that Thanksgiving night. That memory was burned into my brain. The heated kiss made it impossible for any other man to measure up. I wanted something I could never have. “She’s got a master’s in education.”
“He,” I stressed. The doorbell rang. I stared at the crown of my boss’s blond hair, waiting for him to get the door.
“Please don’t stare, flower. It makes me feel self-conscious.”
Two steps and I plucked the phone from his hands.
“Hey.” Billy’s full displeasure turned on me. “You know I don’t like it when you get all handsy.”
“Joseph is at the door, Billy. And before I go get him, I want you to be polite. Did you review the questions I sent you?” I’d dug up interview questions for Billy. All he had to do was ask them, listen and then make a decision. Easy peasy. Our last few interviews had ended in tears and a small garbage can fire. Really. I glanced at his phone screen, hoping to see the questions. No luck. He’d been playing Candy Crush. I made a sound of disgust and threw the phone to the cushion
next to him.
Billy plucked it up. “Dammit, flower, I lost this level. Now I’m going to have to start all over again.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Please, try to take this seriously. I really need this to work out.” If we didn’t find a tutor soon I’d be stuck filling in, and I was already stretched thin. Being Addy’s nanny was a full-time job and on top of that, Billy’s demands had increased. Anything having to do with Billy went through me. He no longer dealt with assistants. I dealt with assistants. He no longer spoke to his manager. I spoke to his manager. I’m sure if he could get me to do it, he’d have me wiping his ass, too. All access was filtered through me, and it was exhausting.
I didn’t wait for him to answer. The doorbell rang again and I hurried to answer it. By the time I’d made it to the front door, my breath was coming in short bursts. I was so out of shape. Who had time to work out with Addy and Billy to see to? Not that I’d actually work out if I had the time. If I had a day off, I’d sit on the couch for twenty-four hours straight. I wouldn’t watch television or listen to music or read. I’d just sit and stare and breathe. Okay, maybe there’d be a book in there and some chocolate. But there’d definitely be silence. Sweet, sweet silence.
I opened the door, a bright smile pasted onto my face, “Hello, you must be Jos—” The word died on my lips.
“Hey, flower.” Jett said, rubbing the back of his neck uneasily. Chord and Turner were behind him.
I frowned, and angry storm clouds gathered in my thoughts. “What are you doing here?” I’d sent them away for the day. A limo full of Dallas cheerleaders had picked them up this morning to take them on a tour of whatever football stadium was here. Jett opened his hands. “Well, it’s like this. We got hungry on the way there, so I suggested this little taco truck on the side of the road.”
I crossed my arms and tapped a foot. Not happy, not happy at all. “I said no detours.” I knew what trouble they could get into if left to their own devices. I was still recovering from the Four Seasons slip-and-slide incident two months ago.
“Yeah.” The word was long and drawn out. “Anyway we stopped. I told Chord not to have the fish tacos but the guy wouldn’t listen to me. You go to these holes in the wall and everyone knows not to order shit from the sea. We’re in the middle of Texas, for fuck’s sake. Anyway, Chord got a bad case of Montezuma’s revenge.”
Turner snickered. “He fucking stunk up that limo.”
“Oh god, it’s starting again.” Chord grabbed his stomach and barreled past me. I heard the guest bathroom door slam.
“Anyway.” Jett shrugged and moseyed in. “The cheerleaders started feeling sick too. So here we are.”
A white car pulled up in the driveway. I yanked Turner through the door. “Are you sure you guys are feeling well? Maybe you should go lie down.”
Turner smiled, teeth flashing under his strawberry blond beard. “Why, Daisy, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get rid of us.”
“I am trying to get rid of you,” I said. The car door slammed in the driveway. “Look, I’m going to level with you, we have a tutor interview that’s due to start now and I really need—”
“Why didn’t you say so?” Turner asked.
“Billy in the family room?” Jett asked in his deep voice, already wandering that way.
Turner followed. “Don’t worry, flower,” he said over his shoulder. “We’ve got this covered. To think we almost missed it,” he muttered to Jett.
“Now I know why she took our house keys,” said Jett.
Any protestations I had died on my lips with a knock on the door. “Hello?” a pleasant male voice said on the other side.
I cracked open the door. Joseph Winters was a good height, with close-cropped curly hair, glasses and dimples. He wore a tweed jacket and corduroy pants. “Hi Mr. Winters?” I stuck out a hand for him to shake. “We spoke on the phone, I’m Daisy Clemmens.”
“Ms. Clemmens, so nice to meet you. You’re as pretty as your voice.” I blushed. A flush spread up Joseph’s cheeks as well. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.”
“Flower, what the fuck’s taking so long?” Billy yelled, voice echoing through the palatial ranch. “I got business to attend to.” By business he meant Candy Crush. Later on, while he was sleeping, I was going to delete the app from his phone.
I smiled reassuringly at Joseph. Please, don’t get scared off. You’re my only hope. “If you’ll just follow me. Billy is this way.” I walked fast and Joseph kept pace. While I did, I rambled off facts about Addy to Joseph. “I think you’ll really like Addy if you get a chance to meet her. She’s bright and precocious, but she can be a handful.” Like her father. “But she’s such a rewarding student. She grasps concepts quickly and really enjoys project-based learning.”
“You sound like you have some expertise in this area,” Joseph said, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“Oh.” My hands fluttered at my sides. “I wanted to be a teacher once upon a time.”
We reached the family room. Turner and Jett were draped on the L-shaped couch. Drat.
Billy glanced up from his phone, eyes bouncing between the two of us. Another rush of heat flooded my cheeks. I’d been chattering happily to Joseph, enjoying myself, and Billy seemed to sense that. Seemed to sense that Joseph had called me pretty and I’d liked it.
“My god,” Billy said. “You’ve found another person that dresses like an elderly gentlemen, flower. I didn’t know two could exist in the world at the same time.” Today I wore a collared shirt with a red cable knit sweater over it. Billy had called it very Mr. Rogers circa 1970. I thought it looked nice, professional—perfect for interviews.
I ignored Billy’s comment. “Please have a seat.” I gestured to an empty spot far away from Jett and Turner. Joseph sat on the edge of the couch, back straight. I decided to stand. Best to be quick on my feet in case I had to physically intervene, put out fires or some such thing.
Billy tilted his head and stared at Joseph. My cranky rocker’s lip curled up in a mean “you’re nothing to me” way. What had gotten into Billy? He hadn’t been like this with the other tutors. Sure, he’d been ornery, but not downright hostile.
“Joseph this is Billy Wanks. Billy this is Joseph.”
A grunt from Billy. A softly uttered, “Nice to meet you,” from Joseph. Well, this was going swell.
“Joseph, I was just telling Billy all about your qualifications. But perhaps you’d like to give him a rundown in case I missed anything.”
“Sure.” Joseph pushed his glasses up his nose.
“A piece of tape,” I blurted. Billy gave me a “what the fuck” look. Joseph’s eyebrows darted in. I hurried to explain. “If you wrap a piece of tape around the bridge, your glasses might not slip so much. My dad used to do it with his glasses.” I shrugged helplessly.
Jett smothered a laugh behind his hand.
Turner didn’t bother hiding his amusement; he clapped and chuckled loudly. “This is better than watching Chord ask one of the cheerleaders to hold his hat while he threw up in it.”
Joseph’s smile was kind and gentle, a saving grace. “Thank you. I’ll try that.”
I felt a tug on my sweater. It was Billy. “For fuck’s sake, flower, sit down, you’re making me nauseous with all your twitching. What’s gotten into you?” I plopped down next to Billy. Sitting a little too close, I discreetly scooted over an inch or two. Billy spread his legs a little more so our knees knocked and touched.
“Um, where were we?” I bit my lip.
“My qualifications,” Joseph helpfully suggested.
“Yes, please go on.” I smoothed my hands over my legs.
“Well I just finished two years teaching fourth grade at Pinehurst Academy. It’s one of the top schools in New York. And before that I taught fifth grade overseas at an Embassy School in Italy.”
“Oh, Italy,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to go there.”
“It’s wonderful. If you like architecture and
pasta, you’d love it.”
I sat forward in my seat. “I do. I’ve always been interested in other cultures.”
“I took you to Germany last month and all you wanted to do was eat pretzels and watch that inane game show,” said Billy in his most grumpy voice.
“That’s not true.” I kept my smile and eyes focused on Joseph. It was so true. You’ve seen one castle, you’ve seen them all. But German episodes of I Defeat Danger, those were priceless.
“Television can be a great way to explore different cultures,” Joseph said. “When I lived in Italy, I couldn’t get enough of this soap opera.”
“I agree, even though I don’t watch much television,” I said, lying through my teeth. I loved T.V. I loved it so much. Especially reality shows about housewives. But for some reason I wanted to impress Joseph. It was clear he was intelligent. He graduated from Stanford. I’d originally planned to teach for a few years, then go back to school for my administrator’s license; I dreamed of being a principal.
“Flower.” Billy stretched his big arms along the length of the couch. “I need a drink.”
“Then get it yourself,” I replied. No way was I leaving Joseph alone with these three. “I’ve heard of Pinehurst Academy, it’s an excellent school. Why did you decide to leave?” I asked, plucking it from the interview questions I’d forwarded to Billy. At least someone had done their homework. No pun intended. Billy’s fingers tangled in my hair, and I jerked my head to dislodge them.
“I wanted to travel again. I miss visiting new places,” answered Joseph.
“Well, you’ll definitely get to travel with this job.”
“Yes, I’m looking forward to it.” Joseph smiled at me. I smiled back.
“Billy, do you have any questions for Joseph?” I turned to my boss. His jaw clenched and his mouth formed a thin line. Great, my toddler had decided to pout and give me the silent treatment. If only he could be this way all the time.
Jett held up a hand. “I have a question.”
I rushed to halt him. “I don’t think—”
Hard Lessons: (A Wild Minds Prequel Novel) Page 6
