Hard Lessons: (A Wild Minds Prequel Novel)

by Charlotte West

  He sighed and frowned. “Don’t you know by now, I make up the rules?” That was true. He changed his mind on a whim. One day he wanted to fly to Hawaii to swim in the ocean and the next he wanted to go to Alaska to see glaciers. Mercurial described the man best. “You want me. And I want you, yeah?”

  I nodded.

  “Then little bird doesn’t need to be an issue. You’re under my skin. We’re both adults. I say we scratch each other’s itches and whatever happens, we agree to be mature about it.” It was far from an undying declaration of love. But remember that needy part of me? It reared its ugly head. I kept myself from grabbing him, from clinging and begging he never let me go. Billy waited patiently while I considered his words. Well, semi-patiently—his hands skirted up my spine and fiddled with the clasp of my bra. Lots of dirty, nasty, self-destructive thoughts pushed their way in. You’re the nanny. He’s paying you. It was a hop, skip and a jump to prostitution. I packed up those thoughts, put them in a box and buried it deep in my mind. I’d think about all of that later. Or maybe never. An errant thought escaped the box. The rock star life, it’s a fantasy. Joseph’s words from the other day. I decided to keep that thought out. Use it to my advantage. Fantasies weren’t real after all. Ergo, I was safe.

  “Okay,” I said, watching Billy’s arms as his hands worked under my shirt. His forearms were tanned, veiny, tattooed and smattered with blond hair.

  He grinned. “Okay.” He dropped a kiss to my lips and at the same time his nimble fingers unclasped my bra. He groaned and his hips pressed against my belly; he was hard under his jeans. I nearly came from just the feel of him rocking against me. Blood coursed through my veins, heating my chilly skin. He nipped at my neck, teeth grazing the thin skin. My arms wound around his neck, urging him closer, to keep rocking against me. I craved the friction. His hands moved from around my back and cupped the heaviness of my breasts. “Jesus, you have the best fucking tits and I haven’t even seen them yet.” Calloused thumbs brushed over my nipples. We hadn’t even begun undressing, and I’d never felt more naked in my life.

  He dragged his tongue along my collarbones.

  I shimmied a leg up and around his waist.

  The bus door hissed as it opened. I gasped, pushing Billy away. But his arms held me tight, squeezing me to him. Jett stood, frozen on the steps, mouth open. Billy growled, grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at the entry, all while keeping a hold of me with one hand. “Get the fuck out,” he said. Jett put up his hands, winked at me and de-boarded.

  Before the door shut, I heard him yell. “Chord, you owe me five-hundred bucks, they’re totally about to fuck!”

  I clasped Billy closer and buried my nose into his neck. “Oh my god, he saw us.”

  Billy chuckled. “Nothing he hasn’t seen before, flower. In fact he caught me bare assed with twins a couple years ago.”

  The mention of Billy with women made my insides curdle. “That is not comforting.”

  “Don’t worry, darling, it didn’t embarrass me. My fragile masculinity stayed intact.” Hands stroked my back.

  I groaned. “Can we not talk about you with other women please?”

  Billy shifted, forcing my head out of his neck. “That was a long time ago. Don’t you know? You’re all I see.” My eyes fluttered shut. I wanted to believe him. My insecurities bubbled to the surface. All the groupies, all the models, I could never compete. He grabbed the back of my neck and held me firmly, waiting until I opened my eyes. His gaze latched onto mine. “I mean it, flower. Have I ever lied to you?”

  I thought about it. Despite Billy’s flaws, and there were many, he’d always been honest to a fault, sometimes irritatingly so. “No.” I shook my head. I put my hand over his chest, over his beating heart, feeling the heavy thuds.

  “Good.” Billy inhaled. “Now, I’m awful concerned about these wet clothes. I think we should get them off.” Slowly he peeled the damp shirt from my body, my bra slipped off soon after. I was topless. The windows of the bus had steamed up. I wasn’t worried anyone could see us. From the outside, all you could was your reflection, the windows were made up of that one-way mirror material. Daylight filtered in. I brought my arms up to cover myself. A natural instinct. When I’d been with Colin, we’d always done it in the dark. “Don’t do that, darling. Never hide from me.” Billy grasped my wrists and moved my arms to my sides. He took his time examining me, watching my chest rise and fall. My breasts felt heavy, my nipples puckered under his stare. He palmed them, lightly massaging, thumbs running over my nipples. I tilted my head back and moaned. “It should be a criminal offense to cover these up.” His head dipped and he took one puckered nipple into his mouth. I jerked at the sensation of my cool flesh meeting his hot mouth. His mouth left my breast. I mourned the loss. “Put your arms and legs around me, darling. I’m going to make you mine now.” I immediately complied. I was ever so obedient. Billy’s hands cupped my rear. He backed up and walked us to his room.

  He dropped me on the bed, my body bouncing. And his eyes were back on my breasts. He seemed to really like them. I pouted. “I’m topless and you’re not.”

  Before I could finish the sentence Billy was whipping off his shirt. His shoes and pants went next. Just like that, Billy Wanks, rock star, stood in front of me in nothing but a snug pair of black boxer briefs, with a hard-on that would make angels weep. I’d seen his underwear before, since I was the one sent to purchase it most often. But I’d never seen the briefs on him. And it was quite the sight. He towered over me, all tattoos and rippling muscles and messy, tequila-soaked hair. Leather bands wrapped around his wrists. I licked my lips. “Fair is fair, flower. Your turn, nothing but your underwear. God, I hope you’re wearing lace. You know, fuck it, I’ll like anything you’ve got under those jeans, even if they’re granny panties.”

  I hummed my amusement. I wasn’t wearing granny panties, but I was wearing a distant cousin: older auntie panties. I shimmied my jeans off. Again, Billy stayed focused on my breasts. My god, if I could get the man to pay such time and attention to anything else, I’d win an award. My jeans lay pooled on the floor and I laid back, letting Billy have his fill. I put one arm behind my head. With the other, I trailed my fingers over my tummy, making a big show out of the bravado I did not feel.

  “I knew it.” Billy swallowed and I watched his Adam’s apple work under the smattering of sparrow tattoos. “Fucking granny panties and I just got a little bit harder. I must be a real sick bastard.” He palmed his erection, adjusting it.

  My brow puckered. “Hey, these are Victoria’s Secret.” Okay, they were full briefs from their cotton collection, but they were comfortable. So comfortable. And they were cute. There was a smattering of pink cherry blossoms on them. He put a knee on the bed then climbed over me, arms and legs caging me in. I felt small underneath him. I raked my nails down his chest then I threaded my fingers through his hair. It was surprisingly soft, given the alcohol. “I’m sorry I dumped tequila on you.”

  “Yeah?” He bent and kissed the space between my breasts. His cock prodded my stomach. He licked at one breast and then the other.

  “I’m sorry I broke your phone, too,” I said between gasps.

  “You’ve apologized a lot today, flower.” He sucked my neck, his hand snaked down between my legs and under my panties.

  “Are you sorry for anything?” I asked.

  “I don’t do things I have to apologize for.” A finger parted my lips, stroked once before sliding ever so slowly inside me. I nearly came off the bed. I grasped his wrist, urging him to keep thrusting his digit in and out. “You’re so hot and wet, darling. Do I do that to you?” He thumbed my clit. My thoughts blurred; all I could do was feel. He pumped in and out, thumb swirling over my button. Pleasure built, my orgasm bubbled to the surface. Slowly he withdrew his hand from my panties.

  “No,” I moaned, unfulfilled and achy.

  “Easy, flower. Let me take care of you.” He looked at me with such hunger, such longing. I rose up an
d we kissed, open mouthed, tongues slashing, teeth clashing. He lay between my legs, giving me more of that rocking motion from earlier. With just thin strips of fabric separating us, the friction felt ten times, no, one hundred times better. My legs rubbed against his, urging him to come closer, to dive deeper—though neither were possible, the barest amount of light couldn’t penetrate our bodies. He broke the kiss. “I got to admit something, darling. I like things a little rough. If you don’t …” I sucked his neck, his skin tasted like tequila. He groaned and closed his eyes. “If you don’t I can try, I won’t …”

  “Rough like how?”

  “Biting,” he ground out as I continued my neck assault. If it was possible the one word had me growing wetter. “I want to leave marks all over your pretty tits and neck.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “Okay?”

  My hand traveled south. I cupped his erection, caressing it with my palm. “Sounds like fun.”

  “My god, you’re going to kill me, flower.” He nipped my lips, then my breasts. His teeth grazed the underside of my breast then closed over the flesh, pinching. I jerked. He licked the wound, lapping the sore spot. It gave me a taste of something I knew I’d always been missing, pain and pleasure. He did the same to my other breast. He continued to do this until I was twisting underneath him. After, he drew back and admired his work. “Now everyone will know you’re mine.” I gazed down at my flushed body, tiny red marks dotted the surface. He kissed the red marks, making his way down my tummy. He hovered over my panties and with one swift movement ripped them off. His head moved between my legs, and he blew at my little patch of red curls. “Open up for me, darling. I won’t bite.” He winked at me. “Unless you want me to.” My ability to form words had been lost long ago. My legs fell open. Billy kissed the inside of my thigh. “Fuuuck, look at you. So pretty and pink and glistening.” He licked my center again and again. I squirmed. He held me down, forcing me to be still. Everything inside me tightened. I was this close to coming.

  “Billy, please?”

  “What, darling? Tell me what you need,” he said, the hum of his words vibrating against my clit. My fingers raked through his hair.

  “I need to come, please. I’m so close.”

  “Of course. But you’ll come with me inside you.” In an instant his boxers were down around his knees. He bent down, finding his discarded pants, and pulled a foil packet from them. Using his teeth, he ripped into the condom then rolled it onto his cock. Hand wrapped around his length, Billy guided it toward my entrance.

  His eyes were fierce, intense, burning emeralds. The intensity should’ve scared me. But I was far past caring, far past self-preservation. I shimmied down, impaling myself. “Fuck,” he swore, fully inside me. He stilled for a moment. “Christ, you feel good. I knew it would be this way. I fucking knew it.” Hands grasped my face and we joined in a soul-searing kiss. He gripped my thighs, forcing me to take what he was giving. He dove deep, thrusting hard. The bed squeaked. The windows fogged even more. Sweat slicked our skin. The angle he held me made it so his pelvis hit my clit. His fingers traveled around my body, to my ass, he squeezed and kept riding me. He pounded into me. He must have felt I was close again because he slowed, letting the orgasm rip through me. I clutched his shoulders, my fingernails digging in, nearly drawing blood. I moaned and said his name and other intelligible things. So good. So good. Please don’t stop. Fuck me. Fuck me. Harder. Harder. He sped up as my orgasm dwindled away. Two, maybe three strokes, and Billy made this guttural sound. Then he collapsed on top of me.

  “Are you dead?” A few minutes had passed. I absently stroked Billy’s broad back. His breathing was deep and even, his muscles twitched under my ministrations. I thought he might’ve fallen asleep. I wiggled. “Billy?”

  “Quiet, flower. I’m comfy.” He spoke into my neck. Our bodies were sticky.

  “We need to talk.”

  Billy groaned and rolled off, he deposited the condom in a wastebasket and pulled his boxer shorts up and on.

  Feeling very underdressed, I scooped up a discarded tee from the floor. Not Billy’s tequila-soaked shirt. And not my rain-dampened shirt. Another one. Before slipping it on I looked down, at the embarrassing wet spot I’d created. “I need a towel.”

  Billy’s green gaze drifted down. Heat flared in his eyes. Oh, he liked it.

  “A gentleman would get me towel,” I grumped, slipping on the T-shirt and recognizing Billy’s scent on it, cedar and smoke.

  Billy rummaged around in a nightstand, withdrawing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “I thought we established a long time ago that I’m no gentleman.” Oh yes, our rom com movie night, when I’d explained the ultimate romantic thing a guy could do, a la An Officer and a Gentleman. What had Billy called Richard Gere’s move at the end? Undignified. Billy put a cigarette in his mouth and flicked the lighter. I gave him a pointed look. If he lit up right now, I might tear his balls off. He rolled his eyes and let the lighter drop to the bed. He plucked the cigarette from his mouth and slid it behind his ear. “Whatcha want to talk about, flower? I’m all ears, though I’d be listening even better if you lost the shirt.”

  I crawled over and knelt by one of his massive thighs. “I want you to give Joseph back his job.”

  Billy snickered, but cut it short when he saw my serious expression. His brow furrowed. “Like fucking hell I’m giving him his job back.”

  “He’s not a threat,” I explained.

  “I know that.” His chin jutted up. “I’ll give him severance pay, but I can’t have him back. You betrayed me with him.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “The wound is still too fresh.” He squeezed my thigh. “No matter how deep the hurt, I’ve decided to forgive you though.”

  “How kind.”

  “Feel free to express your thanks in any manner possible. I suggest something involving your mouth and my dick, but it’s up to you.”

  I ignored his remark, even though his dirty words did all sorts of delicious things to my nether regions. I mentally catalogued to give him a fantastic blowjob another time. “I think we should chat more about how this is going to work.”

  “I thought we already discussed that. You’re in my bed until whatever is between us burns out.”

  I chewed my lip. Even though the sex had only happened a few minutes ago, my feelings for Billy had grown exponentially. It’s just a fantasy, Daisy. This isn’t real. “This could get complicated real fast. I’m your daughter’s nanny. I’m your assistant. Lines have been blurred.”

  Billy frowned. He picked the lighter from the bedspread and flicked it. “Stop whipping shit up in your head, flower.”

  “I think the more separate we keep things the better. Maybe you should have Perry take over my duties as your assistant.” Billy actually had three other assistants, but I was the head assistant, commander of the minions.

  “Fuck that. You can’t quit helping me out, I forbid it. I need to be nurtured.” Billy pouted. “Besides, I thought you enjoyed doing all that shit for me.”

  My legs had started to fall asleep. I shifted and sat against the headboard. I guess Billy didn’t like the twelve inches between us, because he scooted over, slung his arm around my shoulders and forced my head onto his chest. I slid my legs under the covers. “I don’t mind doing your stuff, when it’s reasonable.”

  He sighed, long and overdrawn, clearly exasperated with the conversation. “I’m not sure I know what’s reasonable or unreasonable anymore.”

  I tapped my fingers against his eight-pack abdomen. “Let me throw out a few scenarios. Asking politely for coffee. Reasonable. Spitting out the coffee and dumping it on the pavement because it’s not the right temperature. Unreasonable.” Billy’s chest rumbled with laughter. He did a bad job trying to hide his amusement. I carried on. “Wanting flu medication when you’re sick. Reasonable. Demanding someone oil you down while another person feeds you grapes. Unreasonable.”

  Another deep rumble of laught
er. “I was going for a Roman theme. It’s a shame you couldn’t find any palm fronds to fan me with. I wanted to feel like Julius fucking Caesar.” Quiet for a moment. I counted Billy’s heartbeats under my ear. “All that aside, I’m not really seeing a distinction here, love.”

  It was my turn to sigh. “You’re hopeless.”

  “But in a cute, lost-puppy way, don’t you think? I guess you’ll just have to stick by my side, be my reasonable barometer.”

  I tried to lift my head but Billy palmed my skull, keeping me on his chest. I circled a flat nipple with my finger. “I think we should continue to use condoms.”

  He made a sound of disagreement. “I haven’t gone bare with anyone since I found out about Addy.”

  “Are you clean?” I asked.

  Billy grunted. “Course I am, flower. I wouldn’t put you at risk. The label makes us get tested every couple of months for insurance purposes. I’m a pro at pissing into cups. Though I don’t care for the cotton swabs.” He mock shivered. “Ghastly things, invented by the devil, I tell you. Even if the label didn’t make us get tested I still would, though. Ever since Chord had that syphilis scare a few years back.”

  I patted Billy’s chest. “That’s too much information, honey.”

  Underneath my touch, Billy stilled. I darted up, alarm widening my eyes. “What? What did I do?”

  His eyes softened and a grin lifted his mouth. “That’s the first time you’ve called me honey.”

  “Oh.” I looked down at my lap. The term of endearment had just kind of slipped out.

  “I rather like.” He nodded decisively. “I demand you address me as that from now on.”

  I felt the blush travel up my neck and cheeks. I played with the sheet. “I think we should go over some rules.”

  “All right,” Billy said, surprisingly sober. He patted his thigh. “But you should come sit on my lap while we do. It will make me much more agreeable.” I frowned, noticing the growing tent in his shorts. Still, I shifted over and straddled the man. I lowered myself until my core settled firmly over his erection. Billy didn’t bother to hold back his smile. I didn’t bother to hold back my gasp. “Ah, darling, you’re ready for me again.”