Hard Lessons: (A Wild Minds Prequel Novel)

by Charlotte West

  Trent stuck his bald head through the door. “C’mon, Dasiy. Times a ticking.”

  I groaned and scooted out. “Just give me a little hint. I need to mentally prepare. Did Billy rent a circus or something for Addy?” I wouldn’t put it past him. She had mentioned something in passing about riding an elephant. The man loved to overindulge her.

  “No, this is all about you.” His answer wasn’t reassuring. I didn’t like attention. And I didn’t like surprises.

  My feet dragged as Trent led us to a metal door. No sound could be heard from the other side. This all felt very ominous. Trent opened the door, its rusted hinges squeaking.

  “I’ve seen horror movies that start like this,” I whispered, because it felt like I should. We entered a dimly lit corridor. I grabbed Addy’s hand to keep her from skipping too far ahead. I was seriously getting the creeps. We came to the end of the hall and pitch black greeted us.

  All at once stage lights clicked on and music started. In my distant memory, I recognized the zany tune. Then I saw it. Sprawled out before me was an obstacle course that looked familiar—a pool filled with mud with a set of monkey bars above, ropes hanging from the ceiling, huge inflatable slides, giant spinning tops, half a dozen milking cows … My eyes hurt from all the wonder. The gameshow I loved in Germany, Ich besiege die Gefahr, roughly translated to: I Defeat Danger, had come to life in this warehouse.

  Billy was beside me. “Happy Birthday, flower.” He ran a hand through his hair, perfectly messing it. “Sorry we couldn’t do this the day of, but we got a concert tomorrow. I tried to move it around but the label said many nasty things to me about breach of contract and suing …”

  I launched myself at him. He let out an oomph sound as we collided and he caught me. “This is the best birthday present anyone has ever gotten me,” I said muffled into his chest. Oh man, I felt something liquid and hot in my eyes. Tears. Billy had brought me to tears many times, but never in a good way like this.

  “You haven’t even seen the best part,” he said prying me from him. His arm swung out encompassing a cart. What’s that I smelled? Pretzel-doughy goodness? I squealed, taking it in. He’d even found soft pretzels, like the ones I’d been obsessed with in Germany. Fuck, this man knew the way to a woman’s heart: tacky game shows and carbs.

  “Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls,” Trent’s voice came over a loud speaker. My gaze darted around. Trent stood off to the side, speaking into a microphone hanging from the ceiling. “Welcome, welcome to the first annual American I Defeat Danger competition. Let’s meet our players.”

  A mustached man in a striped vest handed Addy and me pretzels. We munched happily as we sat in two metal chairs with ribbons, Billy in between us.

  “Competing for the band Wanks and Janks is Turner ‘The Mantaur’ Johnson.” Turner climbed a short ladder and alighted a raised stage. He pumped his arms into the air. Addy cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled.

  Trent’s voice boomed. “Also competing for the band Wanks and Janks is …” Trent paused. “I’m not saying this name, mate.” He directed the statement at Chord, who now stood next to Trent.

  Chord frowned. “C’mon man, you already vetoed my first name. This one is gold. Say it Trent. Say it or I’ll call your wife and tell her how much fucking steak you’ve been eating. I got pictures to prove it.” It was a known fact that due to high cholesterol Trent was on a special diet. His wife had emailed the entire crew demanding they monitor his diet. I always thought Trent had brass balls but that wasn’t true. His wife did.

  Trent grumbled in much displeasure. He cleared his throat and spoke into the microphone with much less enthusiasm. “Also competing for the band Wanks and Janks is General Hugh G. Rection.”

  “I don’t get it.” Addy scrunched up her nose and looked to me to explain.

  “It’s just a dumb joke,” I said.

  “Hugh G. Rection. Hugh G. Rection,” she said over and over to herself until the words ran together and became “huge erection.”

  “Bird,” Billy said. “You want another pretzel?”

  Addy smiled and nodded, huge erection forgotten. I was thankful the girl was like a bird, easily distracted.

  Jett sauntered over. He leaned against the pretzel cart and sipped a beer.

  “You aren’t competing?” I asked, brow arched.

  On the stage, Chord and Turner were jogging in place, warming up.

  Jett shook his head. His curly hair obscured his dark eyes. “Nope. Wouldn’t be a competition if I did, love. Don’t want to embarrass these boys.” He grinned at me.

  Lucky for him Chord and Turner hadn’t heard. “And finally competing for the Wanks and Janks staff, Perry Hackney and Josh Gaebel,” Trent announced. I watched Billy’s two assistants climb the ladder. Both were dressed in tiny gold shorts and tank tops. Sweatbands adorned their heads and wrists.

  Perry reached the top first and put his hands on his knees, out of breath. “Mr. Wanks please don’t make me do this,” he said through exhales. His glasses slid down his nose. As an assistant, Perry was one of the best. As an athlete, he was subpar. My gaze focused on his hairy, trembling thighs. Joshua was in a similar condition. He was semi-new; he’d only worked for Billy for six months. He was still learning the ropes. Poor kid got thrown in the deep end his first day. Billy had been in a mood, all yelly and impossible to please, which was a direct result of Jett’s most recent prank: adding a rider to Billy’s contract that included a large tube of KY jelly and twenty-four big ass Kielbasas that would make any man feel self-conscious. Joshua definitely looked like he didn’t want to participate in the obstacle course, but he was too scared to say no.

  Billy’s mouth screwed up. “It’s my girl’s birthday,” he shouted at Perry. “Don’t you want to make her happy?”

  I became the object of Perry’s attention. “Please Daisy. I might die.”

  Billy turned to me, tongue in his cheek. “What do you say, flower? You want to let Perry off the hook? It was his idea to do the next two-day ride on the buses.”

  I liked Perry. We got along just fine. But what Billy had said was true. Perry had suggested, ever so helpfully, we drive for two days straight to make our next location, rather than charter a plane. Though, I reasoned, the band wouldn’t have gone along with it if they didn’t want to. All eyes were on me, waiting for my decision. I flicked my hand. “I want to see him climb the ropes.” Chord and Turner clapped. Perry looked as though he may faint. Dance, monkey. Dance. I felt like a queen holding court. Oh god, Billy was rubbing off on me? His perverted sense of humor had become mine.

  Billy rubbed his hands together. A bell rang. Turner jumped from the platform, arms outstretched, hands clasping the monkey bars. Chord sat down on the platform and lit up a cigarette. Turner glanced behind him, swinging from bar to bar. “What the fuck man?” he shouted to Chord.

  Chord shrugged, exhaling smoke rings. “I’m not fucking running this thing. I just wanted to see if you’d do it.” The bassist kicked out a leg, nudging Perry and Joshua. “No time like the present gentleman, I’ll give you five-thousand dollars if you beat Turner.” Ah money, the greatest incentive. The two assistants hopped to, thrusting their bodies toward the monkey bars, arms flailing seeking purchase.

  What followed was a hilarious comedy of errors. For a while Turner was in the lead but Perry, god bless the whip-skinny man, overtook him on the greased spinning wheel. But in the end, it was Joshua who triumphed. Billy’s newest assistant managed to milk a cow and fill a bucket in under ten minutes. Joshua boasted so much I was pretty sure Turner was going to throat punch him.

  I laughed so hard my sides hurt. And I ate so many pretzels my stomach hurt. Addy, too. I hugged Chord, Turner and Jett, my stupid eyes filling with liquid again.

  “Thank you,” I whispered to the stinky drummer, his blond beard tickling my neck.

  The man grunted. Clearly, he wasn’t into the hug as much as I was. He was all stiff in my arms. The big, tough drummer was uncomf
ortable with affection, which only gave credit to my theory he was inhuman, some type of beastly alien who survived on sugary cereal, beard hair and tattoos. I gave him an extra squeeze before pulling away.

  “I wish this could go on forever,” I said on a sigh. Addy had started yawning hours ago. It was way past her bedtime.

  Billy grabbed my hand, kissed my palm. I was too happy and satiated to argue, to worry about what Addy or others might think.

  “It’s not over, flower.” He smiled so bright and blinding it stole my breath. And my heart.

  Our hotel room had received a makeover during our absence. Wall-to-wall presents filled the living room, all wrapped in daisy-printed paper. Sleepy Addy came awake in an instant. “Presents!” she’d cried. Ah, children, it didn’t matter if the gifts weren’t for them, the allure of tearing into paper was equally intoxicating. But of course, my rocker exclusive fuck buddy (yes, I’d taken to calling him that in my head, hoping to put some distance between me and my pesky feelings), hadn’t forgotten about his daughter. A large box sat in the middle of the room. A large box with holes cut out of it. Addy ripped the lid off and her joy hit maximum capacity. I thought she might explode. A puppy leapt out, all black face mask, soft triangle ears and pink tongue.

  He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, holding me from behind. He kissed my ear. “I’ve been reading some of those parenting magazines you’ve got.”

  “Oh?” My skin prickled at his touch. Addy rolled on the floor with the puppy, its tongue giving her a shower. I guess that took care of that part of our nighttime routine. My presents remained untouched. I was happy to watch Addy and the puppy for a while.

  “Yeah, the batteries on my phone ran out. Anyway, it said some shit about animals teaching kids responsibility.”

  “Mm,” I mumbled my agreement. I’d read the same article. I should’ve been mad Billy had gotten Addy a puppy. Really, the dog’s care would fall to me. My small plate had just gotten fuller. But I’d gladly take the extra helping if it made Addy so happy. I was in so deep with this man and his child. I wasn’t even sure rescue was possible.

  He tightened his hold, drawing my bum firmly against his growing erection. “You’re being very inappropriate,” I said, not a hint of censure in my voice.

  “Addy’s sleeping.” He kissed my neck. “Besides, I can’t help it. It’s my natural state around you.”

  I took a deep breath and let it go. Addy had indeed fallen asleep on the carpeted floor, the puppy curled against her tummy.

  “I’m going to put her to bed.” He released me and squeezed my ass. “We’re going to open your gifts and then I’m going to do very adult things to you.”

  I wanted to protest, but it was too late. Billy slung Addy over his shoulder, then scooped the puppy up in one hand. He disappeared down the hall.

  Three hours later and I was officially birthdayed out. Crumpled daisy paper lay strewn about the room. Fifty-two presents I’d opened, ranging from expensive chocolates to a new phone—a model not even available yet—to gift cards. The sheer amount was overwhelming. A pile of sweaters sat next to me. Ugly, mustard-colored wool monstrosities. I loved them so much. Billy thought his joke was funny; he had no idea I planned to wear the hell out of them. The whole time I unwrapped, Billy sat on the couch, legs sprawled and intense expression on his face. With each package opened, his look became darker, more seductive. I’d never been the object of anyone’s serious affection. The feeling was heady.

  “There’s one more,” said Billy with a chin dip.

  I searched amongst the crinkled paper and found a small box, no bigger than the palm of my hand. I slid my finger under the neatly folded paper. For some reason it seemed important to take my time with this one. I don’t know why. I peeled away the paper and found a plain wooden box. My heart stopped and restarted in my chest, a frantic beat. I popped the lid open. Inside lay a platinum chain with a pendant, and on the pendant an iris was carved. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. I was totally going to cry. Big, fat, ugly tears.

  Billy knelt beside me. He cupped my cheek. “It’s for your mother. Now you can carry her with you everywhere.”

  His fingers eased into my hair. Words escaped me. Because sometimes they weren’t enough, couldn’t explain the magnitude of such a gesture—how much it meant to me. He leaned down. I met him halfway. His mouth brushed against mine. His hands cupped my face while he delivered the sweetest, most perfect kiss. My lips parted. Our tongues stroked lazily against one another’s. My hands clutched his T-shirt, dragging him closer to me. He gave a low growl and deepened the kiss. Our noses bumped, I tilted my head, giving him better access. His fingers dug into my hips. My hand slid to the back of his neck. Paper crinkled under my knees. We broke apart, breathless. Billy’s dark gaze stayed glued to my swollen lips.

  “Addy—” I whispered.

  He shook his head. “No more rules, flower. I want you.”

  He didn’t give me a chance to protest, and the truth was I didn’t want to. I wanted him. I wanted this. A perfect ending to the most perfect birthday. He kissed me, tasting so damn good, I almost wept. I moaned. Thumbs stroked my nipples over my T-shirt. Billy shifted, dipping me. Automatically, my legs wrapped around his waist. Then I was being lifted. Holy shit, the man was strong. He didn’t break the kiss the whole time. A few steps and we were in his bedroom, the scent of his spicy cologne hung in the air. The curtains were open. Silvery moonlight illuminated the room.

  The mattress dipped with our weight. He reached for the hem of my shirt, and ever-so-nicely divested me of it. Then his hands cupped my lace-clad breasts. “Oh fuck, darling. You’re so beautiful.” Again, his thumbs stroked over my nipples. Heat stirred and pooled down below. A man had never made me so wet. He dragged a cup down and pinched my nipple. All sorts of tingling, wonderful feelings somersaulted through my veins. “I can’t decide which I love more, your tits or your ass,” he hummed against my flesh.

  “Yeah?” I asked, my breaths heavy.

  “Oh, yeah. Sometimes I ask you to get me things just so I can watch you walk away.” Rough, callused hands slid down my body, hooking around the waistband of my jeans. And just like that, my pants and underwear were shed.

  “You still find me attractive even after watching me eat my weight in soft pretzels?”

  “Incredibly.” He was between my legs. “Now open up for me, darling. I’m going to eat you for dessert.” My legs fell to the side. He squeezed my ass, bringing me closer to his mouth. His tongue flicked out in rapid strokes. Electricity snaked up my spine. My fingers ran through his hair. I detonated, coming and coming. The bit of his beard scruff abraded my thighs. Then a pinch. A bite. He’d marked me again. And every time I would look at the bruised flesh, I’d be reminded of how high he’d taken me.

  He eased up, pushing his jeans down. His erection burst forward, grazing his stomach. Glorious green eyes stared down at me. My hand rose, tracing the lines of his “Made in England” tattoo. He swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing. Then my hand drifted down I grasped his cock, stroking it, urging him toward me. He came down, one hand on either side of my head, his muscles flexed like he was holding himself back. I guided him into me, tightening my legs around his waist. I released him and he kept easing into me, thick and hard and hot. His pace tortuously slow. Perspiration dotted his chest. And I knew I affected him as much as he affected me. He was definitely holding back. I wanted this to last, too. Forget game shows and soft pretzels and little girls with puppies, I could stay in this moment forever.

  “You’re mine,” he growled. The muscles in his shoulders bunched as he began to move.

  I nodded, keeping my mouth carefully closed, lest the declarations of undying love slip forth. He looked down, watching my breasts bounce with each thrust. We moved together, completely in synch. This wasn’t fucking anymore. This was making love. How could I ever have confused the two? He ground against me, cock finding that secret spot inside me. My engine revved. I felt the orgasm building again. His mout
h sucked my neck, bit it and then sucked again. His pace increased. He’d follow me over the edge.

  My lips parted, pleasurable noises escaped. I was too caught up and my words came out unmeasured. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” I chanted. He grunted as he pulled out and came on the bed.

  I felt the loss of his heat like a cold shoulder. He turned his cheek, jaw clenching. Silence. Absolute fucking silence.

  “Billy?” I half rose. I wanted to reach for him but the distance seemed too far, so much greater than the foot between us.

  He’d frozen. A deer in the headlights. He ran a hand through his hair. “Daisy, I can’t—”

  Self-preservation bubbled up inside me. “Don’t … just don’t say anything.” My hands fisted the sheets. I’d never felt so unwanted. Numbness crept through my veins. My heart turned to stone then cracked, splintering into a million pieces. From far away, a dog barked. No, not a dog. The puppy. Billy still wouldn’t look at me. He stared at the moon as if dreaming of escape. The puppy yipped again.

  “I think the dog needs to go out.” He buttoned up his jeans. He touched my arm and I recoiled because it felt conciliatory, like second prize. Wasn’t that the key to everything? I’d always be second. In last place. Because I allowed myself to be put there. Let others’ feelings come before my own.

  “Daisy?” he said unsure.

  Perhaps he was seeking some comfort, some assurance I didn’t mean what I’d said, some promise things could remain the way they were. But I didn’t have it in me. I cleared my throat. “You should go.” A pause. I pulled the sheet up to cover my body. Being naked and getting your heart broken at the same time sucked. “You don’t want him to wee in the hotel. The cleaning bill will be a bitch.”

  “I don’t care about that,” he groused. “I want you to fucking talk to me.”