by C. A. Gray
He gave me a penetrating look. “I already told you why, Kate.”
“Then tell us,” called Brenda. “Because I think that sounds like a great idea.”
Will glared at her, but smoothly changed the subject. “Ultimately the hunters all agree that our strategy needs to be waking people up in the Republic little by little. All at once will lead to anarchy, and we don’t want that again.”
“So that’s the remaining problem,” said Nick. “How to do that. At the moment all we’ve got is Will’s code, and the faraday cage idea. Neither is perfect.”
“Why can’t we have Will disrupt the signals and Kate hijack the airwaves at the same time?” asked Brenda. “Wouldn’t that give the best chance of getting people to listen?”
Will sighed. “That’s not happening because I can’t be in two places at once, and I don't think any of the rest of you know much about any kind of technology, if I’m not mistaken. Except you, Jean, and I don’t think you’re big on broadcasting, right?” She widened her eyes at having been called out, and shrugged, shaking her head. Will went on, “That’s what I thought. And Kate couldn’t do a broadcast without me, that’s for sure.”
“Charlie could help me,” I told Will under my breath. “He’s a whiz at electronics.”
“Yeah well, Charlie isn’t here right now, is he?” Will snapped.
I gritted my teeth, and made a vow to myself right there.
Charlie wasn’t here right now, no. So I’d just have to go and get him.
Chapter 8: Jackson
After Will’s dissertation on possible approaches, it was Nick who finally summarized the plan for us. He bit his lip, looking around with a hesitant expression, like he knew what he was about to say would not be popular.
“So it sounds like we can’t afford to wait on executing Will’s plan until we get to Beckenshire, then. Either we need to send a team back on the grid for materials to make the faraday cages now, make them, and send Will and Jean and company back in with some extra hunters for protection… or else the team goes in with Will now, with no faraday cages at all.” Molly opened her mouth to protest, and Nick held up his hand to cut her off. “I vote for the former, I agree,” he said, as if she’d already spoken her argument. He glanced at Will and Jean and said, “I have no idea how much time you two will need, but we definitely can’t risk Will’s brainwaves being detected. And chances are you’d need more than two hours, am I right?”
“Definitely,” Will nodded. Jean gave a short laugh, like the question was absurd.
“All right then,” said Nick.
“So what are faraday cages exactly?” I asked. “I didn’t follow that.”
“Will?” said Nick. “You want to explain?”
The little muscle in Will’s jaw tightened as he looked at me. When he spoke, his voice was toneless. “We need to strip copper wire from lamps because it’s the most flexible, and we should also get some yarn, knitting needles, and latex bathing caps if we can find them, or any kind of flexible plastic if we can’t.”
I waited for him to explain all this further, but evidently he was done with me. Finally, I prompted, “And what will all of those materials do for us, exactly?”
After a pause in which Will said nothing, Kate rolled her eyes at him and answered, “The copper wire can conduct electricity. So it should prevent the control centers from being able to detect our brainwaves, because thoughts are electromagnetic energy.” Here she glanced at Will, as if for approval. “We’re supposed to interweave the copper into the yarn and knit hats or ski masks to cover our heads, if I understood correctly.”
“And the latex?” I asked.
“It’s insulation.” Kate glanced at Will again.
He shrugged at her and said irritably, “There’s no ‘we,’ Kate. But keep going, that’s accurate so far.”
She sighed, and narrowed her eyes at him, saying deliberately, “If we don’t either ground the metal somehow, which will be pretty hard while we’re wearing it, or insulate ourselves, then the metal should act like an antenna and actually amplify the government signal. So we’d be undetectable, but ultra-brainwashed. Or at least that’s what he figures.”
“Thanks for that explanation, Kate,” said Nick, in the tense silence that followed. “How long will it take to knit the faraday cages once we have the materials?”
“Depends on how many pairs of knitting needles we find,” Kate said. “It takes me probably about three hours to knit a hat, but I’m really fast. I used to knit all the time for relaxation. But if we’re all knitting at once and have enough materials, less than a day I think. Maybe even six hours, after I teach everybody? Depending on how many we need.”
“We can’t all knit for six hours straight,” muttered Sam. “We’ll need breaks. That’s unreasonable.”
“Sorry if you feel we’re demanding too much of your time,” Kate snapped at him.
I watched Kate intently until she noticed and met my eyes.
Calm down, I tried to tell her. I could do nothing about Sam, or Violet, or Will—but everybody’s emotions were getting out of hand, and if we didn’t deal with that, it would make any kind of group effort all but impossible. At least a few of us had to keep our heads. Kate blinked at me, but I saw her unclench her jaw and look away, embarrassed. She’d caught my meaning.
I summarized, “Okay, so we need a team to raid any homes we find on the outskirts of the forest, then. I’ll go.”
Nick shook his head at me. “Nope, you’re too recognizable, Jackson. We can’t risk the control centers picking up your brainwaves, either. Nor Will’s, nor Kate’s. But we need as many people as possible, other than you three, if we’ve got a hope of getting all the materials we need in under two hours.” He looked around. “Jean, you and Will need to stay behind and work on your plan, because by Kate’s estimation we should have enough cages for you to go in and do your thing by tomorrow night or the next morning at the latest. Jackson, you and Kate made a good team for lunch, why don’t you get us some dinner too? We’ll all be hungry by the time we get back.
“Everyone else, we’re going on the grid.”
“What?” shrieked Violet. “I can’t go on the grid, I’m—” she looked down at her very pregnant belly. “I just… can’t!”
“Violet stays behind,” growled Sam.
“I can’t go on the grid either,” said Rachel, “I’ll just help Jackson and Kate with hunting…”
“We need everyone’s help, in the most valuable activities. The more hands and eyes we have, the faster this will go, and the lower the risk of detection for all of us,” Nick announced, his tone clipped. “I hope I don’t have to remind you already that you took an oath to our cause. No arguments. Now come on, we’ve got no time to lose.”
I saw Molly lift her chin just a little, her expression one of fierce resolution. I knew how much it cost Nick to volunteer even her for the raids—and I respected them both for it. He was willing to abide by the same rules he set for everyone else. That was the mark of a good leader.
Kate and Will spoke heatedly, and Jean stood off to the side, shuffling her feet and pretending not to notice while she waited for Will’s attention. After a few minutes, Kate stormed away from him and toward me, her face flushed.
I glanced at Will as she approached, and he shot me a look of daggers. Then I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Don’t even,” she hissed. “Come on, let’s go. I need a weapon.”
I chuckled in spite of myself. “For what, exactly?”
Her eyes flashed at me, but she saw my expression and relented with a tiny smile.
We picked up two bows and two quivers of arrows.
“Why can’t I have one of those?” Kate asked, pointing at a .44 caliber.
“Uhh…” I looked back at Nick and the rest of the group, still huddled up to strategize. “My guess is the raid team will need all the guns, just in case.”
She gave me a terse nod
, and picked up her bow and arrows, trudging off into the depths of the forest without waiting for me. She stared straight ahead, teeth gritted.
I debated whether it was appropriate for me to invite her to talk, since Will already considered me a threat, and clearly he was the problem at the moment—did I really want to be the guy she confided in about her relationship? (I knew exactly what Uncle Patrick would have to say about that.)
Yet I couldn’t pretend not to notice her mood, either.
“You okay?” I finally asked.
“I’m fine.” She paused, feet crunching on the dirt as the tree line grew closer. I waited. “I’m really mad, actually.”
“No, really?” I joked. “You hide it so well.”
For a second I wasn’t sure if the sarcasm would lighten the mood or make her angrier. “He can be such an arrogant jerk sometimes!”
“He’s only acting this way because he loves you. He’s trying to protect the relationship.”
“Believe me, that is not his primary motivation!”
“It’s not?”
“No! This is not about you. He’s acting like it’s about you right now, but the real issue—” She sighed, like she was searching for words. Finally she said, “When Will and I met, and for most of our relationship, we had this dynamic. I was the ‘damsel in distress,’ and he was the ‘knight in shining armor.’ Those were our roles, and it worked well for both of us.” She shook her head, and went on, “I’m different now. What Will fell in love with was a weak woman he could control. But I wasn’t the real me. I was just… a confused and brainwashed shell! And he was the one who could solve all my problems. Now I’m becoming who I really am, or trying to anyway… someone self-sufficient, and even opinionated, for once in my life! Will doesn’t know how to relate to me anymore. He just wants me to be who he thought I was.” She shook her head. “Yes, he’s a little jealous of you. But the real issue is that you’re the one helping me to grow up. That’s what he doesn’t like about you—you’re the one who believes in me, and encourages me. He never has!”
A red light flashed in my mind. Danger. Danger. Change subject fast. “Be aware of your footsteps,” I told her, dropping my voice.“If you come down on the balls of your feet carefully, you can distribute your weight better and make less noise. We don’t want to scare the animals away.”
“Okay,” she whispered back, dropping her voice too. But then she went on, “Will doesn’t respect me, and he doesn’t want to respect me, even if I earned it. God forbid I ever have a good idea, or learn how to do anything useful!”
I was going to have to respond to this, I realized. She wouldn’t let me just drop it. I tried to think of the most innocuous comment I could possibly make. “You and Will have both been through a lot of trauma, and you didn’t go through most of it together. Of course that will change you both. In some ways you’ll have to get to know each other again on the other side of it, I would imagine.”
She glanced at me. “Yeah. I guess.”
“Look, what I’m going to teach you depends on focus and being in the moment. I think you’re not quite there right now.”
She gave a staccato half-laugh. “Well, I’m not sure what I can do about that.”
“Emotions follow thoughts. You’re in control of your thoughts, Kate. Remember that for years you believed whatever lies were sent through the airwaves. It can be just as dangerous to let your emotions control your thoughts now.”
She stared at me for a minute. “You can be really annoying sometimes, you know that?”
“Only because I won’t let you be a victim,” I said. “And isn't that what you just said you liked about me?”
After a long pause, she laughed, relenting. “All right, fine. How do I change my thoughts, then, sensei?”
“That’s actually the crux of what I’m trying to teach you: becoming aware of the things that you’re thinking about, and determining two things: whether the thought is truth or a lie, and whether it serves your ultimate goal in the moment. Even a true thought might not be worth dwelling on.”
“Will is being a jerk: true or false?” Kate asked, smirking to herself. Then she replied to herself, “True. Does thinking about the fact that Will is being a jerk serve my goal at the moment?” She looked at me, her eyes dancing. “It depends. If my goal is staying focused, then no. If my goal is venting to you so I feel better, then absolutely!”
I laughed. “Touché. And are you feeling better yet?”
The smile evaporated. “Yes. But only because you’re here and he’s not.”
I decided not to touch that one. “Are you up for a little more meditation before we start hunting? The less distracted we are, the better.”
She shrugged. “You’re the boss.” We weren’t in a clearing so she headed for a large tree and sat down with her back against it.
I chose a tree opposite hers and settled myself on the ground too. “It’s okay for your mind to wander,” I reminded her. “Every time you catch it, though, just consciously pull your awareness back to your breath; to the sensation of the ground beneath you, and the tree at your back.”
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I heard it. It was about a hundred and fifty yards away. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was big.
“Kate,” I whispered.
“Oh, thank goodness, I thought you were gonna make me sit here all day!”
“Shh. Grab your bow.”
“What?”
She’d started to stand up but froze when I said this. I grabbed my bow and arrows, and pointed at hers. She moved toward it in slow motion, probably to minimize the sound. I approached her softly, and when she’d hoisted her bow to her shoulder and retrieved an arrow, I pointed in the direction of the animal. I leaned in, breathing softer than a whisper, “Let’s move close enough that you can see it. When you can, this is what you do.” I demonstrated nocking an arrow, raising the bow to my face, and pulling the string back far enough that my hand touched my mouth. She mimicked what I had done, but dipped her elbow too low. I tapped it lightly, pointing up. She obeyed, raising it. Her arm was too far from her face, so I breathed, “Touch your mouth with the hand steadying the arrow… there you go.”
It would have been easier to position her myself, but no way in hell was I doing that.
“Okay, relax the string,” I breathed, “and follow behind me as softly as you can. I’ll stop as soon as I get a visual.” I started to move toward the creature.
But something didn’t feel right. The creature we approached was heavy, but its footfalls were not sharp enough for cloven hooves. I nocked an arrow in my bow too, just in case, listening to its movements. The feet were softer, padded…
Then I saw it. A black bear.
I held up my arm to stop her as soon as I realized what it was, but it hadn’t seen us yet. I raised my bow.
“Where is it?” Kate whispered. I pointed, and she sucked in a breath and swore.
The sound of her breath did it: the animal turned its head and fixed its gaze upon us.
“Arrow up!” I said, not bothering to whisper anymore.
Kate obeyed, trembling.
“Hand to your mouth! Release!”
Her arrow sailed over the bear’s head when he was twenty yards away. Kate screamed, and I fired my arrow, grabbing her and pulling her out of the way of its lunge a second later.
My arrow penetrated deep into the bear’s eye socket, one of the only parts of his skull where I knew it was thin enough for my arrow to penetrate. He fell hard. I felt Kate trembling in my arms and let go immediately.
“I’m sorry!” she whispered, horrified.
“Don’t be. I didn’t know there were bears around here or I wouldn’t have led you after it.”
She sank to her knees, dropping the bow. Finally she closed her eyes and whispered, “Will is right. I am weak.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “Is that truth, or a lie?” I said sharply
.
She opened her eyes and looked at me, like she was waiting for my answer.
I prompted again, softening my tone, “The statement is that you are weak, on the basis of what just happened. Truth or a lie?”
She shook her head. “Truth?” But it was a question.
“Look at the facts. You’ve never shot a bow and arrow before. The very first time you ever tried was at a bear who was twenty feet from ripping out your intestines. So you missed, and went into shock, which by the way is what you’re feeling right now. It’s just adrenaline, it’ll pass. If you heard that story about someone else, would you conclude that she was weak?”
She bit her lip. “No?”
“No. So your conclusion was false. Reject it.”
I thought my tone was still a bit sharp, but Kate’s eyes shone at me. I looked away. This was so, so not a good situation. I need to be a jerk, and fast.
But nothing came to me. Finally I settled for disgusting; it was as close as I could get. “Come on. I’ll show you how to skin and clean it when you’re ready.”
“I’m ready,” she told me, standing up. She was still trembling, but trying to hide it.
Kate threw herself into the gory task vigorously, like she was trying to compensate and convince either me or herself that she was tough after all. We didn’t speak, except when I said, “Cut here,” or “scoop these out,” or “strip away the fascia—there you go.” I saw her grimace a few times, but she breathed through it like a champ, and kept going.
Once we got down to just cutting up the bear meat and packaging it to take back to camp, Kate finally asked timidly, “So, were there any ladies in your life back in Iceland?”
I laughed, caught off guard by the question. “A few.” I felt her watching me. I knew why she was asking. “Nobody who was ever really special to me, though.”
“No?”
I shook my head. “Not really. Nobody I cared for the way I always felt I should care for the person I’d spend my life with. I’m still looking for that girl. Though it’s kind of on back burner at the moment.” I gestured at our present location.
