Inspiring and insightful stories for navigating life’s uncertainties
Megan Gebhart
First Edition, IRL Press, August 2014
Copyright © 2014 by Megan Gebhart
Cover design by Rachel Balanon
Book design by IRL Press
ISBN 978-1-5006020-6-2
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without the prior permission of the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Introduction
Who you are in five years depends on the people you meet and the books you read.
Cup 1: Pat Crawford
Never be afraid to say hello.
Cup 2: Rita Meyer
Take life one step at a time, building on small successes along the way.
Cup 3: August Crabtree
Don’t let assumptions stop you from great opportunities.
Cup 4: Laurie Lonsdorf
Decide what you love and find a way to make money doing it.
Cup 5: David Murray
Live in the moment, have no regrets, and work hard for the greater good.
Cup 6: Tom Crawford
Every career path is unique—even if the destination is the same.
Cup 7: Noshir Amaria
Don’t let obstacles and critics deter you from your path.
Cup 8: Barbara Burnham
Life rarely goes according to plan; just keep growing.
Cup 9: William Ward
Never underestimate the effect you can have on someone.
Cup 10: Jenny Beorkrem
Opportunities are only opportunities if you take advantage of them.
Cup 11: Lisa Gnass
Create your own definition of success.
Cup 12: Chad Badgero
Never let good stop you from great.
Cup 13: Dave Isbell
You can choose humility or be humbled.
Cup 14: Denise Busley
Instead of wallowing in the problem; look for a solution.
Cup 15: Ruben Derderian
The job you get is important, but it’s what you do once you get there that truly matters.
Cup 16: Lou Anna K. Simon
Hard work is the currency that buys good fortune.
Cup 17: Piotr Pasik
Your limitations only stop you if you let them.
Cup 18: Vince Foster
Surround yourself with good people.
Cup 19: Stefan Olander
Don’t work so hard that you stop loving what you do.
Cup 20: Sam Rosen
There is more than one way to approach life.
Cup 21: Torya Blanchard
You only get one life—make the most of it.
Cup 22: Abby Ward
Education is the best remedy for ignorance.
Cup 23: Barry Litwin
Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride.
Cup 24: Angela Shetler
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Cup 25: Betsy Miner-Swartz
When life gets tough, take it one step at a time.
Cup 26: Jim Little
It’s nice to have a place where everybody knows your name.
Cup 27: Masaki Takahashi
Forgiveness is hard, but better than a lifetime of resentment.
Cup 28: Ellen Kay
People may not say thank you, but that doesn’t mean your efforts aren't appreciated.
Cup 29: Sue Carter
“The water buffalo are waiting at the gate. Let’s go!”
Cup 30: Mike McFall
Embrace uncertainty; it keeps life interesting.
Cup 31: Kenyatta Berry
It’s all right to strike out a few times.
Cup 32: Wanda Herndon
Never underestimate the power of choice.
Cup 33: Jonathan Zittrain
Don’t wait for an opportunity, create an opportunity.
Cup 34: Mike Wardian
Figure out what your goals are so you know where to find the finish line.
Cup 35: Stacy Bohrer
Your past does not have to define your future.
Cup 36: Tom Izzo
Decide what you value, so you know what you’re willing to pay to get it.
Cup 37: Peggy Brannan
Be a part of something bigger than yourself; make a difference.
Cup 38: Seth Godin
Fail more often.
Cup 39: Colin Wright
When you follow your passion, the future is always exciting.
Cup 40: Janina Pasik
Always be good to others.
Cup 41: Roman Kroke
Find balance; it makes life more interesting.
Cup 42: Mihaela Fabian
Raise the potential of others.
Cup 43: Yasmina Boustani & Katharina Schmitt
It’s the extra step that creates the opportunity.
Cup 44: Tony Stone
It’s important to have a plan, but the real key is having the courage to take the first step.
Cup 45: Steve Wozniak
Talent is overrated; it’s practice that’s important.
Cup 46: Bo Fishback
You have more potential than you think.
Cup 47: Brittany Fox
If you never try, you will never know what is possible.
Cup 48: Steve Schram
Uncertainty is inevitable, but you don’t have to tackle it alone.
Cup 49: Steve Googin
Many great ideas seem crazy—until they work.
Cup 50: Clark Bunting
The way you get from Point A to Point B won’t be a straight line. That’s okay.
Cup 51: Elaine Rosenblatt
When life changes unexpectedly, grieve, grow, and move forward.
Cup 52
Figure out what you love, then find the courage to do it, and do it well.
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Who you are in five years depends on the people you meet and the books you read.
I stumbled upon this quote in 2010, and it stopped me in my tracks. I was about to be a senior at Michigan State University and could easily see how my friends and mentors had helped shape the person I had become.
There was one person in particular who showed me the power of meeting new people. He was a student named Brett Kopf who shared an academic advisor with me and was equally passionate about entrepreneurship. The advisor recognized how similar we were and had a hunch we would be great friends. He gave Brett my email address and suggested we meet.
When Brett sent me an email a few days later with an invitation to coffee, I agreed without thinking much of it. I liked meeting new people, and it was just a cup of coffee. I would never have guessed that simple cup of coffee would be the start of an incredible friendship—a life-changing friendship. Together, Brett and I would start a club for entrepreneurs that would become the cornerstone of my college experience and lead to friendships and opportunities that still affect me today.
One day, curiosity got th
e best of me: If one new connection could have such an impact on my life, what would a year of new connections do?
Knowing there was only one way to find out, I decided to embark on an experiment in caffeine and conversation. Each week for one year, I would have coffee with someone I wouldn’t normally meet and write about his or her story online at 52cups.com. With graduation approaching, and uncertainty around what I should do after college, it seemed like a great time to ask others for advice.
The intention for 52 Cups of Coffee started out small. I was going to seek out people just outside my network—people I met through friends of friends, social media, or stumbled upon serendipitously. I would meet people in and around Michigan State University, where I went to school, and Wyoming, where my family lived.
As the project progressed, something amazing and unexpected happened. Both friends and strangers began connecting me with fascinating individuals around the world.
I talked to well-known thought leaders, best-selling authors, an NCAA basketball coach, and famous entrepreneurs. The project wasn’t just about talking to people of prestige; some of my best conversations came from the most unexpected places: a first grader, a grandma, a WWII survivor and dairy farmer. Rich and poor, old and young, famous and not so famous—each week of the project brought something unexpected and valuable. The stories helped me navigate the unsettling transition from college to real life and develop a stronger platform for living.
Through my conversations, I heard the same advice time and time again: travel while you're young. I decided to heed the advice and put my post-college job search on the back burner and live off my savings while traveling through Europe for five weeks. That decision ultimately led to fourteen months of nomadic living. By the time the project ended, I had sipped coffee in twenty-nine cities across seven countries.
* * *
52 Cups is a journey of serendipity, connection, empathy, and adventure—a story about being courageous, vulnerable, compassionate, and curious.
It’s also about searching for answers when you’re stuck and not sure what your future should hold. As it turns out, when you start asking questions, you find answers for which you didn’t know you were looking.
I wrote this book so that you could read it the way you like—you can read it cover to cover experiencing my adventure, or you can jump ahead to the conversations that most compel you. It is a journey, so you'll notice that the Cups change as I learn, grow, and practice telling other people's stories.
My experiment ended in December of 2011, but the stories and connections have stayed with me. I continue to receive emails from readers who found the project online and felt inspired to start similar projects of their own. And, while I hope you read and enjoy these stories, my deepest wish is that these stories inspire you to take courageous action to build new connections of your own.
Because who you are in five years depends on it.
Megan Gebhart
July 9, 2014
Pat Crawford
Bailey Scholars Room at Michigan State University
Small brewed coffee
Never be afraid to say hello.
My original intention was to start this project in April but decided to wait until July to begin for a multitude of reasons. Finals week was fast-approaching; I was preparing for a six-week trip to Europe as a study abroad program assistant; and, after a full year of classes, lectures, assignments, papers, and exams, my brain was about as useful as a toaster in the middle of the ocean.
July seemed like the perfect starting date, so I marked it on my calendar, put the idea on a cluttered shelf in my brain, and said bon voyage to America. After enjoying good food and fine wine during my abroad program in Paris, Barcelona, and Italy (and after a few weeks recovering), I felt refreshed and ready for this crazy adventure to start. Or so I thought. After writing the initial blog post, reality sunk in: I actually have to email someone and plan a coffee date.
Of course, that thought had crossed my mind during the planning process, but there is a big gap between thinking about something and doing it. Like crossing a rickety old rope bridge strung across a canyon: it was scary, but I had to take the first step. It was time to leave the solid ground of the thinking side—and head in the direction of doing.
Fortunately, a great opportunity presented itself that made the first step a little easier. I was a member of the Bailey Scholars Program at Michigan State University working on a Specialization in Connected Learning. It’s a small program and very close community of students. The current program director was preparing to leave in the fall to pursue a Ph.D. The replacement director, Dr. Pat Crawford, had started coming into the office to learn the ropes for a seamless transition in leadership.
I had been hanging out in the office (commonly referred to as the Baily space) when I met Pat for the first time. As I was frequently in the Bailey space, I knew over the course of the upcoming school year I would slowly get to know the new director, but it occurred to me that she would be the perfect start to my project. Why not invite her to coffee, get to know her sooner rather than later, and offer her a warm welcome to her new position?
That’s exactly what happened. A few days later, we met in the Bailey space, enjoyed a cup of coffee from the Bailey coffee maker (a frequent lifesaver for me), and got to know each other.
We talked about our backgrounds, the number of siblings we had, where we'd grown up, what we did for fun, our mutual love for dogs, and a host of other topics that moved us from strangers to acquaintances. Thanks to the meeting, the next time we would see each other in the space, we wouldn’t just exchange polite hellos. Instead, I could ask how her two labs were doing, or give her an update on one of my projects. I would also be a familiar face to answer one of the hundreds of questions she’d likely have as she got to know her way around the community in the upcoming months.
Change is never easy. When the current director finally departed, he would leave big shoes to fill, and the atmosphere of the community would be decidedly different, but after having coffee with Pat, I wasn’t as nervous about the transition. I had made a new friend, and now had a better idea of what to expect from the new director.
I decided my first Cup had been successful. I had taken the first major step of this project and enjoyed a pleasant conversation in the process.
I learned three lessons from Cup 1: get to know the people involved in the things you do; be a friendly face for those who are new in your community; and, most importantly, taking the first step is tough, but it’s worth it.
Rita Meyer
Starbucks in Cheyenne, Wyoming
Grande brewed coffee
Take life one step at a time, building on small successes along the way.
Every year, during the last full week in July, I head to Cheyenne Frontier Days in Cheyenne, Wyoming. The self-proclaimed “Daddy of ’em All” is a weeklong rodeo and destination point for my high-school friends to reconnect after a semester away at various colleges. Cheyenne is also where my grandmother and a few aunts and uncles live.
Shortly before leaving for Cheyenne, I enlisted my Aunt Peg to help me find someone to share a cup of coffee. She knew the perfect person: Rita Meyer, a former Colonel in the Wyoming Air National Guard, the current State Auditor and a gubernatorial candidate, attempting to become the first elected female governor of Wyoming. The campaign trail had been keeping Rita busy, but Peg encouraged me to give her a call. As luck would have it, she had a little free time on Saturday. Her warmth radiated through the phone line, and I was looking forward to the meeting as soon as I hung up.
I arrived at Starbucks early on Saturday and made small talk with an old cowboy who had plenty of amusing rodeo stories to share while I waited. When Rita walked in, she greeted me with a big smile, shook my hand and introduced herself. We ordered coffee, found a table out on the patio, and started talking. It didn’t take me long to ask the question that was foremost on my mind: Where had she gained the confidence to run for
Governor?
Her answer was much simpler than I expected. Rita said she took her life one step at a time, building on her successes along the way. She admitted very openly that ten years before, she hadn’t had the confidence to campaign. She needed a career full of large (and small) successes to give her both the experience and confidence that would lead her to the place she was now. But it hadn’t just been the successes that helped her. There were failures along the way that were beneficial, too. She smiled as she told me, “You have to fall down and scrape your knees—just hope you don’t break a femur!” Confidence is about learning from your mistakes and moving forward.
As you read those words on paper, it seems like obvious advice, and it is, but it is something I won’t soon forget. It’s one thing to hear those words, but to meet someone who illustrates what happens when you heed the advice is something else. Rita’s biography lists one achievement or honor after another. It’s intimidating, and if Rita weren’t so warm and genuine, she would have been intimidating, too.
However, she hadn’t always been so esteemed. This woman had two undergraduate degrees and an MBA in International Business; she had received numerous awards for excellence in leadership during her active duty in the Air National Guard, and had won the 2006 campaign for State Auditor. And yet she was once too shy to talk to people and too poor to take the entrance exams for college. Rita grew up in a small Wyoming town and had to work incredibly hard to become the person she was.
Her impressive resume was not something she built overnight, though; it was a process and a journey. At one point, Rita told me that women need better role models, and I believed her. In less than an hour, she made me realize that who I was that day was vastly different from the person I would be in 30 years—but the change would be the result of small steps. Her advice was that if I worked hard, held onto personal integrity, surrounded myself with good people, and dug deep when things got hard, life would only get better. It was reassuring advice to hear.
Before I left Starbucks, Rita told me that one of two outcomes would occur in her race for Governor: she would win, or she would lose. If she won, she had the opportunity to work hard for the people of Wyoming. If she lost, she would take the experiences from the campaign and move forward. She didn’t know if she’d win the race, but she did know that if she didn’t run, she could never win—it takes risk to get rewards.
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