“Because it kept ringing. It rang ten times while you were in the shower, it got on my nerves hearing it ring over and over so I picked up.”
“Never pick up my phone.” He growls.
“Easy. I just wanted to be helpful, what if it were work and they needed you?” I shrug. “I’ll know next time not to pick up.”
“There won’t be a next time.”
“Right, just because I picked up your phone? You’re being ridiculous.” I scoff.
“You don’t understand, Nic.”
“Oh, so we are back to Nic now?” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Look, it’s for your own safety, you do not want those men to know we are together.” He sighs, looking defeated.
“Together? And don’t you fucking dare use the ‘it’s for your own safety’ card. Look where it got Ayd, Line and Viv when their men were playing it safe.” I roll my eyes, he’s being a stupid caveman.
“I don’t know what we are or what we have, all I do know is that I enjoy it. I don’t want this to be the end of it, but if they take an interest in you, there’s nothing I’ll be able to do to protect you. It’s not the same as it was for Ayd, Line or Viv, it’s far worse.” he says resignedly.
“Don’t worry about me, nothing will happen to me.”
“What do you mean?” He looks at me in confusion.
“Just know that I’m protected.”
“How?”
“Oh no, I’ll talk when you talk. You won’t get away that easily.”
“You’re not being fair, Kitten. I just want to protect you. I need to know everything.”
“As I said, I’m protected. You can go to work knowing nothing will happen to me.”
“You’ll have to open up about it sooner or later, Nicole. I can’t lose you or even just risk losing you.”
“Ditto.”
He sighs. “I have to get to work, please call me if anything happens, alright?”
“Alright, I will.” He kisses me quickly and gets his coffee and croissant.
“Are we good?”
“Yes, we are,” I say softly and he kisses me again, deeper this time but all too soon, he cuts the kiss short and leaves me to my thoughts.
What in the hell is Jase doing with him?
I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s bugging me and it won’t stop until I know the truth. I don’t know his name, but I do know he’s a really dangerous man, his occupations are far worse than my brothers and his friends. Why is a cop in contact with such a man? It’s baffling me. I need to get to the bottom of this, but unless Jase opens up, I don’t think I’ll ever find out. He, on the other hand, could easily find out what I’ve been up to...
I need to stop thinking about it but it’s so hard. I go upstairs and take a shower to try and clear my mind. Smiling to myself as I think about Jase’s hands all over my body last night and this morning.
“He’s going to be the death of me one day.” I sigh to myself and quickly shower before I risk making myself all hot and bothered thinking about my night and morning with Jase.
I step out of the shower and pat myself dry. I look at my reflection and for the first time in I don’t know how long, I’m smiling and I look happy, like genuinely happy. I don’t know how long this happiness is going to last but I’m going to milk it for as long as I can. I don’t care if it only lasts a couple of days or if it was a one-time thing.
For a few hours, Jase was mine and I was his. The rest doesn’t matter.
I put on some shorts and a shirt, grab my binder and books and head to the patio to study for my upcoming exams. I’m glad my college allowed me to transfer to a long distance program so I could come back home. They understood the ‘family emergency’ but to be honest, I couldn’t see myself staying any longer in Grambling. I’m sure with all the shit that has happened that Gabe wishes I had stayed there.
I make myself another coffee and croissant and set everything up on the patio table and make myself comfortable. I don’t really have the heart or mind-set to study, but if I don’t do something productive I’ll drive myself even crazier about Jase.
CHAPTER 8
Jason
I drive to the station replaying mine and Nicole’s conversation in my head. I can’t believe she picked up my phone but more importantly, who was on the other end of the line? I don’t know what he’ll think of her answering, but I’m already dreading the repercussions. She is innocent in all of this and the last thing I want is for her to be their new target. Anyone who associates with me is at a great risk of becoming a target for the Russians. If she finds out the truth about them and me, I’m sure Gabe will too and then I’m as good as dead. I couldn’t blame them though. They’ve been as honest as outlaw bikers can be, but I haven’t. I’ve been lying to them since the beginning and even though I’ve helped them through a lot, they would never forgive me.
All the lying is really starting to get to me, the guilt is becoming too much to handle. My life is one big lie. From the moment my parents died, I’ve had to lie to everybody but the hardest part is lying to Nicole. I want to be honest with her, but if she knows the truth she will run away from me and I’m not ready for that. It’s very selfish but I can’t help it. I never should have pursued her, but from the first time I laid my eyes on her I was fucking gone.
I need to open up to her, I just have to be careful with what I tell her. I know she is used to a lifestyle filled with violence considering she grew up within an MC, but what I did would make Gabe look like a saint.
I catch myself clutching the stirring wheel so hard that my knuckles are turning white. I loosen my grip and park at the station. I look at my reflection in the rear view mirror and wonder what Nicole sees in me. Shit, I need to stop thinking like a woman and stop thinking about her, at least for a couple of hours. I need to stay solely focused on the task ahead of me.
I get out of the car and lock it before heading inside the station. I’m a few minutes late and hear Lewis already laying out the plan for the day. I’m so grateful for her help. I don’t think I’d have been able to do any of this without her. Half of the cops in the station can’t stand me because of my connection to the Last Hangman, but they’d never admit that they’re glad I’ve managed to lower the crime level in the area, thanks to those same connections. Cops from other districts might not appreciate it as their violence and crime rates have gone up, but that’s not my problem. I’m only doing my job by protecting and serving the people of my area.
“Thank you, that’ll be all,” Lewis tells them and they all start to exit the room, glaring at me as they walk past me. They all head outside to the cars provided especially for the occasion. We are all dressed in street clothes and using unmarked cars, not wanting to rouse any suspicions from the Disciples.
“Good job up there, Lewis,” I say as I walk out with her.
“I tried to do my best. I didn’t want to overstep my mark, but you were late so I figured I’d get a head start and explain the plan one last time. Hopefully none of them will fuck up.”
“Good initiative. You’ll make a good detective.” I smile at her, meaning it.
“Thanks, Sanders.” We climb into a pick-up truck that’s full of an arsenal of weapons and ammunitions.
“I mean it.” I start to drive off, leading the way.
We drive in silence for a while. I keep my eyes on the road, but I'm constantly checking my mirrors to see if we are being followed or if I spot anything that could mess up our plans, whilst Lewis checks the positions of all our teams. Not that I don’t trust them, well I don’t trust a few of them, but we’ve been betrayed before.
I feel bad for not keeping Ant in the loop with regards to what’s happening today, but I didn’t want to involve them just yet. I have a nasty feeling it’s not going to go as planned.
We heard from the Baton Rouge local authorities that the Disciples left last night and were heading our way, but it seems too simple. We have a perfect plan set up. We’re going
to block every access coming from Baton Rouge, the MC are on their bikes so it can’t be hard to spot and stop them. I’ve given my men permission to shoot no matter what, but something doesn’t feel right.
A few minutes later, Lewis brings me back to reality.
“This might not be an appropriate time, but you dropped this when you walked out of your office yesterday.” Lewis says looking nervous.
“What’s that?” I pick up the paper she hands me, and my blood turns to ice when I see the very same letter she handed me yesterday. For once, I’m rendered speechless. Either she read it and has looked into me and knows the truth or she didn’t, but considering the look she’s giving me, she knows. I’m fucked.
“I know everything…”
“Everything?” I sigh.
“Your secret is safe with me. Don’t worry.” she says and for some reason, I believe her.
“Why would you protect me?”
“You didn’t have a choice. Your tracks are covered, just not that covered when you know how to hack into the system or rather, outside of it.” She chuckles.
“Be careful, Lewis. I don’t want anything to happen to you because of me.”
“Don’t worry, I used a secured connection and I didn’t use my own computer.” She shrugs.
“Looks like I’m not the only evil one.” I chuckle humorlessly.
“You’re not evil, you were just surrounded by the wrong people.”
“I guess you’re right. I still don’t get why you’re protecting me.”
She sighs. “It’s a long story.”
“We have time.”
“Alright. My father was one of them. One of the Last Hangman. One of the first nine. Unfortunately, he was killed during a deal gone wrong. I was fourteen when it happened and I swore that I’d become a cop and put every single one of the Last Hangman behind bars.”
“Why haven’t you? There is more than enough evidence that could get them locked up for a long time.” This is interesting to say the least.
“I know there is and trust me, I wanted to, but since you started working with the Last Hangman things changed around here for the better. It’s more peaceful, people are less frightened and even though they are still outlaws, they are still doing some good around town. I know technically they aren’t responsible for my father’s death, they didn’t shoot him, but I always blamed them because it was easier to blame the bikers in front of me instead of the ones who weren’t. Truth is, they are one big family and even though they are still partaking in illegal activities, I can’t bring myself to break that family.” She sighs.
“Showing heart there, Lewis.” I chuckle. For someone who appears to be heartless, she actually has a heart of gold. Not a lot of people would let outlaws roam free just because they can’t bring themselves to tear a family apart.
“I know!” We both laugh.
“I just — I’m not approving what they do, but — shit I don’t even know.”
“There’s more to it, isn’t there?”
“Yes.” She rubs her face and looks out the window.
“Come on, speak up.”
“I don’t know…”
“If there’s one person who will understand it’s me.”
“Alright. But promise not to judge.”
“I promise.” I smile and raise my right hand.
“Oi, hands on the stirring wheel. No need to get us killed.” I can’t help but chuckle.
“Alright, alright.” I return my focus on the road and let her gather her thoughts.
“A couple of months ago, I was on vacation break. I went to my parents’ cabin in the woods, it’s completely out of the way except for another cabin next to it. I never knew who it belonged to, for all me and my family knew, it was abandoned. Anyway, long story short, someone was in it this time and we started to talk and even though I had planned on being on my own, it was nice to be around someone who wasn’t a cop.” She chuckles.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” I grin, knowing exactly what she means.
“Oh I know, Officer.” She laughs.
“Alright, stop it.” It feels good to relax, who knew someone knowing the truth about me would be so liberating?
“Sorry, it was too tempting. Anyway, we started to talk and well, one thing lead to another, one beer bottle turned into shots and that resulted in a wild weekend I never expected.”
“Nothing wrong with having some fun between adults.”
“No, unless you find out later on when you come back to real life that he is part of the Last Hangman.” She groans and I can’t help but laugh. I try not to, but I just can’t keep it in.
“Please tell me it’s not Bennett.” She glares at me and crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry, really. I did not expect that.”
“Right.”
“I promise, I’m really sorry. So, who was it?”
“Callum.” She groans.
“Oh, Mr dark and brooding. Didn’t think he’d be your type.”
“Neither did I. I didn’t expect anything but to come back relaxed from my weekend away. I did, at first.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“He’s an outlaw and I’m a cop. I shouldn’t have done anything with him.”
“If it was a onetime thing, why is it such a big deal?” I ask, still keeping a look out for anything suspicious.
“Because what was a onetime thing turned into a bit more than just one time. It’s over now, but yeah, it happened more than once.”
“Don’t feel ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with you enjoying life, even if it’s with someone you should technically stay away from. If you enjoyed it while it was going on then that’s all that matters. Is he the reason why you can’t bring yourself to arrest any of them? Are you hoping for more with him?” I ask with as much tact as I can.
“I just — I’ve never had much luck with men before and the one time I find one that makes me feel something, he turns out to be one of the men I swore to hate. He is partly the reason why I can’t. I’m scared if I arrest any of them, they will use what happened between Callum and I against me and ruin my career.”
“They’d need to have physical evidences that you were with him to blackmail you.”
“He does.” She groans and covers her face. I bite the inside of my mouth trying not to laugh again.
“Interesting.”
“Don’t start. It’s mortifying to think that they could all be watching the video and getting off on it.”
“One thing I know for sure is that they aren’t like that. They might fuck whomever they please, but they aren’t about humiliating women. If he has a video of you two together, the only person getting off from it is Callum.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, they are too protective of their women to do that kind of thing. If he wanted to have an audience he would have fucked you in the middle of their compound.” I chuckle seeing her shudder. “The women doing that are all consenting. They aren’t like the Disciples or Kings.”
“If you say so.” She sighs sadly.
“You want him back, don’t you?”
“Kind of. As I said, he is the only man who’s ever made me feel anything.”
“Who ended things?”
“I did. I was struggling between knowing he was doing illegal shit and my job.”
“Does it really matter?” I ask her completely understanding her struggle even though I’m not a real cop. I know the struggle of having the two things you love and believe in tear you apart.
“You don’t understand.”
“I do. More than you can imagine. You feel like your two worlds are incompatible, like no matter what your feelings for him are, you can’t be together because of what you do, but you’re just lying to yourself. You want him in your life and you’re going to be miserable unless you open up and talk it out.”
“That’s why you’re not doing it with Nicole.” She scoffs.
“That’s different.”
I sigh, knowing it’s not any different, I’m just being a stubborn asshole.
“It’s not and you know it. You want her in your life full time but you are scared of what your past and present could do to her. I’m not stupid, Sanders.”
“I know you’re not. I’m just scared of what could happen to her.”
“Stop thinking she’s a fragile little thing that’ll break at the first hint of danger.” She glares at me.
“I’ll think about it. I’m just scared it’s going to send her away. Now I sound like a fucking woman, thanks for that!” I groan and spot a couple of bikes behind us.
“Yes, you do sound like a woman. But in all seriousness, if she likes you even just a little bit, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. What did you see?” She asks, seeing me tense up, she looks behind us and sees them too. “Shit. Trouble?”
“No, back up, for fuck’s sake. They are going to be fucking pissed.” I open the window and motion for them to join us now that I’ve spotted them. I park on the side of the road and wait for them to approach.
“Hangman?”
“Yes, looks like your man is there too.” I can’t help but snicker.
“Dickhead.”
“You have no idea. Just don’t tell anyone.”
“Told you, you’re safe with me.”
“Thanks, Lewis.”
“Anytime, Boss.” She snickers but freezes when she sees Callum knock on her window. She lowers it and they talk in ushered voices so I can’t make out what they are saying. I turn to see Ant glaring at me.
“When were you going to let us in on the secret?”
“Someone has been listening in on our radios.”
“Glad I did. You knew we wanted in on taking them down.” He glowers.
“My men have the order to shoot them, why do you think I didn’t fill you in? They want you guys dead as much as I want the Disciples dead and gone.”
“Right.”
“Don’t believe me if you want. Follow us and you’ll be the one who’ll be taken down. I only did it for your own safety.”
“Bit of a warning would have been appreciated. We thought you were turning against us.”
“You know that’s not true. You guys have become family. I never had one growing up and now I do, I’m not about to fuck things up.” I mean it but I fucking hate lying to them about the real me.
Trusting Nicole Page 8
