Joseph laughed with this. After he finished, he answered him with his normal calm and soothing voice. “I had a very good friend who was ill for a long time who offered himself to me if anything were to happen to me. He was good enough to let me have him when I needed him.” He looked out to his friend. “So I came back.”
Robert listened and understood. “You knew that all of this was going to happen. You knew about Devish coming back. You knew about who Jimmy really was. You knew everything.”
For Jimmy, he only felt confused. “What did you know?”
“As I said before, the dark black wolf who attacked me that night told me about what happened to him. I read his mind and realized what he was, how he came to be what he was and where. Devish directed him to find Kalima again. He set all of this up.”
“How did you know about Jimmy?” Robert placed his hands on his hips. He needed to sit down but didn’t want to. He preferred to stand even with everything that just happened. “You knew that he was Kalima.” He looked at Jimmy and turned back again. “How did you know it?”
Joseph sighed long and deep before beginning. “When I first heard about Collins, I truly believed that he was the one, but when I met him I realized that he wasn’t him.” He stared at Jimmy. “He lacked your spunk. He lacked the core of who you are. After I realized that I knew that one day he would eventually find him again. I knew about you Jimmy. I knew where you were. When I learned about Richard Ross, I led him to you, hoping that it would bring everyone back together again. I didn’t know about Devish until I was killed.”
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?” Jimmy did sit. He sat down next to Kenny and gave him his full attention. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth, if you already knew who I was?”
Joseph sighed again. “You didn’t know who you were Jimmy. If I threw all of this at you all at once, you wouldn’t have understood it. One can never build a puzzle without the picture of what it is first. I should have tried harder, I do admit that now, but I didn’t have the time. I was taken before I could tell you and finish what I started.”
Robert let all of his questions fly out. “How is it that you could read Kalima? I never could do it. Devish couldn’t, or Rana for that matter couldn’t either. How could you?”
Joseph nodded with a slight shrug of the shoulders with it. “Because, he let me read him. Kalima came to me a long time ago. I helped him then.”
“You blocked him, didn’t you?” Robert nodded, agreeing with the thought. It made complete sense now.
Joseph shook his head. “No I didn’t.” He looked at the bright golden halo and after he finished seeing him, he turned back to Jimmy. “You did.” He smiled.
Jimmy met his eyes. “Me? How in the hell could I do it?” He truly had no idea what he was hearing. None of this made any sense. He figured that it never would.
Joseph smiled, hard and long. “Not you Jimmy. It was him. It was Kalima. He blocked himself.”
Robert now really wanted to sit, but with both of them on the small Victorian styled sofa, he lacked a place to do it. “He did it to himself?” It made complete sense with what he saw in Jimmy’s memories. It made sense when thinking about the block. He now felt right about everything he saw and knew.
Joseph nodded. “He hated the life he had. He hated everything that happened to him for all of those many years. He had trouble living with it, and wanted all of them gone. He wanted to end them, but he also knew the truth about what happened with Devish. He knew how dangerous it was to keep secrets like that.”
Jimmy listened, fascinated with everything that he heard. Inside he saw Collins’ face again looking at himself in the mirror. Again he heard him say over, and over again, “Remember, remember, remember Kalima.” Seeing it, he now knew what it meant. “I tried unlocking the block when I was Collins. I tried to do it way back then.”
Robert looked at him with wide eyes. “The mirror?” He saw it too, but then had no idea what it meant. Now thinking, seeing it, he now understood it completely.
Jimmy nodded.
Joseph did too. “At first, like I said, I thought it was Collins. I told him to try to bring back his memories. He couldn’t do it and that’s when I knew the truth about who he was.”
Jimmy felt stronger than ever. His mind felt completely clear. He now knew the truth, and feeling the way he now was, he now believed it entirely. “He wanted to forget the past. You told me that he hated many things about what happened, and how he tried to forget it. He couldn’t live with himself, so he blocked his memories. But he also knew about his fight with Devish. He knew that he would come back again. He knew that he needed to have a way to reverse the block.” Hearing himself like this, he couldn’t believe how clear everything now felt. He couldn’t believe that he never saw this before. He should have known it. The answer to everything was there—deep back inside his own mind. It was there the entire time.
Joseph nodded, hearing every thought that Jimmy had. He smiled to him and took his right hand into his. “You are the black wolf Jimmy. You are Kalima. You are the strength to the past itself.”
Now it was Robert’s turn to be completely confused. “So Kalima blocked himself, knowing that one day he would have to know the truth again, but why would he block it then? He knew the truth and knew what it all meant.”
“Kalima didn’t want to live with the past Rochie. He wanted to forget his pain. He wanted to live without it, but knew that he couldn’t do that forever. He knew that as time went by he would grow older. He would get weaker. He also always knew that Devish would rise again. He always knew that it was a mistake not to destroy him back then when he should have been. Without the choice, he knew what he had to do.”
Robert looked around the living room for something, anything to sit on, but saw nothing. He felt so weak. He hated this.
“What did he know?” Jimmy now felt eager to ask. He felt ready to know everything. He felt ready to remember.
“Only three were there when Devish was brought down. Devish, Rana, and Kalima only knew the truth.”
“He told you all of this? Why?”
“Devish could never read my thoughts. He could never read Kalima. Kalima wanted me to know because I could hide his secrets. I was to tell him the truth when the time was right again.”
Jimmy bowed his head. He now knew what he had to do. “I have to look in a mirror. I have to release myself.”
Joseph nodded. “You are the only one who can release the past. You are the only one that can see the truth.”
Jimmy stood up. As far as he was concerned about this there was no better time than now. It was time to know everything. He left the sofa, moved past Robert, and headed towards the foyer. When he caught the scent of decay moving up the steps, and ahead of it was another young man who smelled like a human, he stopped.
Sharlia walked through the door.
Behind her was a young man, another vampire by his scent, and a young male human.
Seeing all of them, Jimmy couldn’t believe it. “Sharlia?” What in the hell is she doing here? He had only one idea. “Have the elders made their decision?” he asked that thought.
She nodded, thankful that she found him. Hearing his question, she shook her head. “Devish has destroyed them.”
He could see tears in her eyes.
“He has also killed my family.”
He understood the tears.
Hearing her, Robert joined them in the foyer, leaving Kenar sitting on the sofa. He stopped directly behind Jimmy. “He what?” He hoped that he heard her wrong. If he didn’t then their chances of fighting Devish just became that much worse.
Sharlia smiled seeing Rochie there too. She was more than thankful for all of it. “Devish has destroyed the elders.” She looked back to Jimmy. “They have destroyed my family.” The tears came again, this time to both eyes. “I have lost everything.” She now bowed her head.
Robert felt for her but he also saw the human young man with them. “Who
is the boy?”
Danny swallowed.
“We found him outside on the steps, listening at the door.” Sharlia talked with such a subtle voice that she barely heard herself.
Joseph heard her clearly. He stood up, moved from the sofa, and found a space in between the gold and the tan. “He’s my grandson Danny.” He couldn’t believe that he didn’t listen to him, but at the same time, he expected it. “Danny? I told you to wait in the car.” He bowed his head.
Danny was now not only just confused, but he was also downright scared out of his mind. He heard everything. When these people grabbed him with overwhelming force, he now feared for his life. He was also afraid for his grandpa even more than he was before too. “I couldn’t just let you come in here alone.” He looked at everyone, tried to struggle against the man holding him, couldn’t, so he stopped. “What’s going on?” He now wanted to know more than ever. He couldn’t believe what was going on.
Joseph sighed. He now knew that his secret had to come out. “We’ll talk about this later Danny.” He shook his head. Now wasn’t the time to do it.
Danny swallowed.
Jimmy nodded. “If he has taken over the elders than I think it’s time to get myself back again.” He looked at both Robert and Kenny, and gave them both a nod.
They returned it and watched him leave the foyer and head down the hallway towards the back of the house. After he disappeared, they turned back to Sharlia at the same time.
She saw the looks in both of their eyes. “What does he mean by that?” She saw their looks of wonder. She saw their looks of fear. They feared and wondered about what he was going to do.
Robert nodded with a sly grin on his face. “Kalima is going to release himself.” He left it at that.
38
He went to the small half bathroom just behind the stairs to the basement and walked inside.
He closed the door behind him and made his way to the sink, just across from the door.
He looked at the mirror above it.
He stared at his own face.
All right Kalima. It’s time to do this. He stared deeply at his deep brown eyes. He found himself blinking several times, not sure of what to do next. How do I do this? What do I do? He closed his eyes, seeing his, Collins’, face again looking in the mirror. He could see that he stared deeply at his own face. He then heard himself repeat the words. That’s it. That has to be it.
He opened his eyes and stared once again at his face.
“Remember…”
Suddenly he could see his eyes begin to fade from their natural brown to something that looked closer to blue.
“…remember…”
The blue color grew brighter.
“…remember Kalima.”
His eyes flared.
He saw a bright orange glow.
His mind flew hard into several different directions at once.
He no longer saw himself staring at the mirror, but now saw his self standing in an old looking house or cabin. He could see him, Collins, sitting in the chair. He was likewise sitting directly across from him.
“I can help you my friend. I can take away your pain. I can remove the way you hurt.” The voice came from him. The sound was his voice.
“How can you do that?” Collins responded with tears in his eyes. He had just told him about losing his very reasons for living. His wife was dead. She died during childbirth. She died along with their child. His only son was gone.
He saw himself bow his head. “I have been there as well. I have lived with pain. I too have lost everything that I ever loved. I too lost my family.”
Collins wiped both of his eyes with the back of his left hand. He sniffled strongly as he did it. “I have no reason to live.”
He heard himself take a deep breath. “I can give you a new life. I can give you something that is very different from what you are now.” He bowed his head some and then looked back up again. “You will live a new life.”
Collins took a huge and exacerbated breath. “How?”
“First I must show you something that you have never seen before. I will show you your future. I will show you what you will become.”
Again Collins took a huge breath, readying himself for everything.
He could see that he didn’t believe him. He didn’t believe what he was about to give him and right there, he decided that this was right. This was something that now made sense to do. He was the one.
He stood up; pulled the robe he wore off his shoulders, and dropped it to the floor at his feet. He closed his eyes, allowing the eyes at the back of his mind to come forward with force.
When he opened them, the change began. A burning raced through his face as his body cracked from within. The wolf emerged fast.
Collins fell out of his chair. He fell to the floor. He screamed as he watched the change.
Taller, massive, he roared. He then howled. When he finished it, he looked back down.
Collins rolled over and looked back up to him. The tears in his eyes instantly dried. His face went to calm. His eyes turned firm. He was a man who looked like he was ready to accept his fate.
Breathing, he called on his own eyes again, and allowed the wolf’s eyes to fade back away. He formed back to his human form, and when he finished, he looked back to Collins on the floor. “I told you about the beast.” He even retook his chair.
Collins sat back up. “Can you kill me?” He wanted him to do it. Right there, right then, he wanted to die, and he hoped he would.
“I no longer kill for the want of it my friend. What I can give you is the strength to never age. I can give you the power to never hurt again. With this gift, you can live out in the trees. You can start over. You can love again in a completely different way.”
The tears came again. He realized what he feared the most wasn’t going to happen. “I want you to kill me. I want to die.” His voice rolled with his Irish accent and flipped hard with the deep sorrow in his heart. “I need to die.” He even cried. He sobbed. He winced.
He hoped for him. He wished for him too. “I promise you my friend that with these powers you will find new loves. You will find a new way of life. You will forget with time everything that hurt you.” He sighed. “Do you accept this gift that I am offering you?”
Collins listened and he did stop crying. “Have you? Have you forgotten the pain?”
He saw himself nod. “I have taken away my pain. I have pushed it back into the darkness where it belongs. I have given myself the time.”
Collins let his hands fall to his sides. “What will happen? What do I have to do?”
He reached out with his right hand towards his face. “I will die. You will live on.”
“Die?” Collins stared at his hand.
For a moment he didn’t believe that he would take it. “My life has been spent. I need to move on. I need to leave this world.”
Collins did take his hand.
With it, he pulled him up to his feet. With him standing again, he also lifted the chair.
Collins sat back down. “What do I have to do?”
He also sat back down. “Live your life without regret until I find you again.” He felt himself smile.
“How? How will I find you?”
“The wolf will show you how. The wolf will guide you back to me.”
Collins nodded.
Seeing this, he took his chance. The eyes came forward fast. He changed even faster this time. He was the wolf again before Collins could change his mind.
He bit down hard onto his right wrist. Finished, he sat back down.
He watched Collins fall out of the chair again, but this time from the pain. He watched it burn him. He watched him roll. He heard him scream.
He let it happen, stood up, and left him on the floor.
He moved to the front door, opened it and walked outside.
Outside the world was already dark. The night looked calm. The air felt cool.
He walked down the
hill and headed back to the road. Off in the distance, towards his left, he heard the sounds of water running. He followed the sound.
After several moments, he found the creek running through the field.
He walked towards the edge of the water, and there, he knelt down to his knees. He looked down at the water with bright and clear eyes.
With the full moon over him, he saw his face. He looked at the wrinkles. He looked at the age of his eyes. He let his eyes flow blue.
“I remove the pain within my heart. I chose to forget all that I have done. I wish to forget all of my pain. I will live again, and then, and only then, shall I remember what has to be done. Until then, I will sleep. I will sleep in the darkness that will come. When the time is right, and all grows dark again, I will remember. Remember, remember me, remember Kalima.”
His eyes faded back to brown.
He saw his life as a dark blanket over his eyes.
He blinked and focused on the flames.
He now saw himself standing by a huge bright fire. The smell of the smoke was strong on the air. The heat of the flames warmed the right side of his face. He remembered the pain. He saw his loss. He saw her long black hair as he held her in his arms. He saw his home burning. He saw the eerie orange colored glow flowing over her blood covered face.
“No!” He heard himself scream. He saw himself now bury his head into hers.
They killed her. They took her away from me.
He lifted his head.
“I am sorry my love. I am sorry that I must leave you.” She spoke through her obvious pain. Her eyes watered over, knowing what must come next. The wounds hurt her but leaving him hurt her more.
He continued to cry. “I will not leave you. I cannot live without you with me.”
A Werewolf's Saga Books 4, 5, & 6 (A Werewolf's Saga Boxed Sets Book 2) Page 41
