And then there was the incident in my house. Up until that point I had thought that you merely possessed extraordinary sharp instincts, but that night you proved that there was more to it. I was worried, for I did not want to share you. I wanted you for myself. I knew I had to hurry up gaining your affection, before anyone else could show an interest in you. If anyone else had managed to win your love before I could, I would have lost your forever. When push comes to shove, the human decides who she wants to belong to. And you didn’t make it easy for me either. You didn’t want to be dependent on me, not at all. Before I’d met you, my life had been dull and sluggish for a long time. I guess humans would call my situation at the time a depression, but after I had chatted with you for a mere hour, I found that there was something to be excited about again. As soon as I was in your company, I was happy. How could I allow Nikelaus to abduct you? I had spent years doing nothing but developing strategies. It seemed like the perfect opportunity. And you were so tough. Several bad things had happened to you after you’d met me, and you handled them without lasting trauma, almost brushed them off. I knew you would be able to get over this, too, and you did. What I didn’t foresee was that I would suffer along with you. I knew Rubin would gush about you, and Nikelaus wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation. Hence I made sure that he got word where you were staying and what was threatening you, and then I weakened the protective spell around my house. As I’d predicted, he came and kidnapped you, made it look like a werewolf attack and murder. I hired Sem to keep an eye on you. When he let me know that Nikelaus had found a way of putting you under a spell, I instantly put together a rescue mission. You can hate me for the whole scheme, because I do. I hate myself for it.
And how could I ever deny my feelings for you? I was forced to listen to them torturing you, taking away your last shred of hope, and then I was convinced you had killed yourself. I had never felt more helpless in my entire life.” He shook his head in desperation and his voice trembled. “I believed you were dead. For two endless days I was sure you were no longer alive.” As he went on, the tears started falling, rolling down his cheeks. “I kept thinking about your words. How you told the jerk who had abducted and tortured you that I wouldn’t care if he killed me. How could you say I wouldn’t care, how could you think that was the truth? And then someone came walking through my door pretending to be you. At least that was what I believed. I couldn’t bear to look at you. I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t love you. When Stefan called and told me that it had really been you, I had already made my next mistake. I should have made sure, should have checked whether it might not really have been you, before I released the others on you, but I didn’t. I was so certain you were dead. Those few seconds I had seen your alleged lookalike had been unbearable. I simply couldn’t stay.
Well, you had fought and survived and returned to me, and I had abandoned you once again. I was overjoyed that you were still alive and rushed back to the house. You had been in mortal danger once again, and it was my people’s fault. I stormed into the house, then to Rosalia’s car. You were scared of me and it broke my heart. I deserved this treatment; your behavior served me right. Rosalia had told the truth, I did not deserve you. And I acted so coldly and callously for the last few days simply because I couldn’t handle the situation, or my feelings. I had never been in love with someone so vulnerable. I knew you wouldn’t let me take care of you, so I arranged for your dismissal from your job, and for the termination of your rental contract. I was sure that you would come back if you needed my help. I am so damn used to acting strategically to achieve my goals that it didn’t even occur to me to simply talk to you. And what did my scheming get me? I all but drove you into the arms of Kadeijosch.
I don’t want to manipulate you anymore. I want you to know what your options are so you can make a real choice. Take your time, please. And if you want, I’ll see to it that you get your apartment and your job back.” He stroked my cheek and looked at me with devotion in his eyes. “I love you. Please forgive an old fool,” he asked before he kissed me. His kiss was different. More loving, heartfelt, meaningful and also tender. Michael treated me like a precious, delicate sanctuary.
When he pulled away, I gave him a dreamy smile. “I should kick you in the butt, but that would probably only amuse you.”
He suppressed a grin and I nestled into his embrace. “Michael, how am I supposed to know that this is not a new attempt at manipulating me though? You just said that you are a master in this art, and I would not put it past you to go such a roundabout way.” He pulled me into an even tighter embrace and asked half jokingly: “If you believe that I’m lying to you, then why do you cuddle with me?” I put a deliberate hand on his arm. “Because I simply need this now. Why are you telling me about my place and my job? I would never have suspected that you were behind any of that. I thought it was merely bad luck.”
“I don’t want anything to stand between us anymore.”
“Michael, you’re going to have to be patient with me. I can’t simply pick up where we left off.”
He kissed my forehead, unfazed. “As long as we don’t break up, I can handle anything. If I have to regain your trust first, fine. I deserve it. And if I have anything, it’s time.”
I dozed off in his arms. At some point I heard him say: “You knew that I was in love with you before I even suspected it. You told me so, on the freeway.”
When I woke up again, I was still lying in Michael’s strong arms. It was time to face reality. I pulled away from him silently, climbed from the bed and got dressed. While I tied my shoelaces, Michael rose and studied me with a confused expression. “Where are you going?”
“To my apartment.”
He tried to kiss me tentatively, but I drew back. He had expected my reaction, but he still had to ask: “Melanie, does that mean you really don’t believe me?”
He seemed desperate, but with him, who could know what he was really feeling? “How am I supposed to know whether you’re lying? I can’t trust my instincts when it comes to you. They fooled me before. I need some time to find clarity about a few things. And you … you’re a thousand years old. Am I really supposed to believe that you don’t know what you’re feeling?” I explained apologetically. He took a step backwards and asked politely, as if we’d only just met: “Would you maybe go out to dinner with me soon?” He seemed to friendly and awkward that I had to smile. “Give me a little time. I can’t decide on the spot,” I asked, before getting serious again. “You know what bothers me the most? When I came back to warn you and Andreas, to keep you from starting a war, you left. You said it yourself: All you had to do was making sure, checking whether it wasn’t really me, before you left me to be beaten up by your goons. I did. I made sure. If you really loved me, how could you take this sort of risk?” I had hurt him. This time I was sure, for his eyes were swimming with unshed tears.
“Melanie, what are you talking about? What did you do? How did you make sure?” I exhaled and briefly closed my eyes, before I told him: “He offered me a normal life. He wanted to help me fake my death. I would be allowed to live a human life, and nobody would know who or what I am. His offer involved only one condition: I couldn’t see any of you again. That would have meant that I couldn’t warn you. But I couldn’t risk that you might die, that your different factions would kill each other, so I came back. My decision took no more than the blink of an eye. I didn’t have to think it over, I relinquished my future for your sake. All you would have had to do was relinquish five minutes. Five minutes to keep me from almost dying again.” While I spoke, his face took on the blank aspect again, devoid of emotion. He reached out his hand to touch my cheek, but I turned away and walked down the stairs. Before I left the house, I paused for a moment and whispered: “I’ll see you.” I knew he would hear me.
Forty-five minutes later I was back in my apartment and tried to catch up on my studies. For the following three days, I acted like a model student. I kept replaying in my head
what Michael had told me. It would be so wonderful if I could simply believe and trust him, but he had hurt me too badly. I was scared he would break my heart all over again.
When I returned from the university the fourth day, Stefan was waiting in the parking lot in front of my house. He didn’t bother to say hello, but immediately got to the point: “He didn’t lie, he really loves you. Why can’t you see that? And I know you love him, so what is this about? Do you want to teach him a lesson? Trust me, you already have.”
“No! Of course not! But how am I supposed to trust him? Who says that this is not a put-up affair, that you aren’t in on the game?”
“What does your gut feeling tell you?”
“That he told me the truth, but I can’t trust my gut on this. When it comes to Michael, my instincts have failed me before. I believed that he loved me when he didn’t.”
“Maybe your instincts never actually failed you, and he loved you without realizing it himself.” I shook my head and turned my gaze away to end this conversation. Michael was more than a thousand years old. I couldn’t imagine that he didn’t know his own feelings.
“All men are immature idiots when it comes to matters of the heart, young and old alike. If we’re in love with a woman, we make lots of silly mistakes. If you do love him, you should take the risk and give him a second chance. What do you have to lose? You can only gain if you try. If you were already over him, I wouldn’t push you, but the way I see it, you have nothing to lose but a whiff of pride,” I heard Stefan argue.
“You’re wrong. What if I trust him again and he breaks my heart?”
“Okay, but what if he’s not lying and you’re throwing away something amazing? I say it’s worth the risk. Should he disappoint you again, you can always leave him again, too,” he said with typical male logic, giving me a beseeching look. “Please come to his house around four today. We’re celebrating his birthday, and the only thing he wishes for is you. Your presence would be enough to make him happy.”
I stood motionless for a moment, debating. Whatever Michael had done, if you didn’t give the man you loved a second chance, then whom? I glanced at my watch. “But it’s already half past three. How am I supposed to get ready in time? I need to change into something more festive and put on some make-up,” I stammered.
“Trust me, that isn’t necessary. Just come as you are.” He opened the passenger door of his car and made a gentlemanly gesture to invite me inside. I got in and Stefan raced the car to Michael’s house. The place was bustling. I spied all the members of his family including Nikelaus, his employees and partners, and a whole bunch of strangers. It was more of a ball than a regular party, with the women wearing cocktail dresses and the men fancy suits. I was clad in a pair of white jeans and a pale blue T-shirt. I must be an eyesore among all these perfectly styled and coiffed women. A large banner had been hoisted across the room. It said:
All the best on your 1500th birthday!
I spied Michael in conversation with Kijara, his ex wife. Her hand rested on his shoulder. I took an instinctive step backwards and walked straight into Stefan, who was standing behind me. I wanted to turn on my heel and leave, but he held me back gently. “Melanie, please stay. It’s not what you think.” As soon as Stefan had spoken my name, Michael’s head whipped around and he stood before me before I could blink. Kijara stared after him, perplexed and offended. He had left her in mid sentence and didn’t even notice that she might have taken that as an insult.
He looked into my eyes with affection and put his hands on my upper arms. “Thank you, you being here is really the greatest gift you could make me. Kijara came to wish me a happy birthday, that’s all. There is nothing between us anymore, but we have two children …”
I had missed him so badly! In that moment I knew one thing: If there was still a chance for us, I had to seize it. Before he could finish his sentence, I put my finger to his lips, went on tiptoe, and kissed him. He picked me up, smiling against my lips. His tongue begged for entry, and when I parted my lips to let it caress mine, I was flooded by a fiery tingle. I dug my fingers into his hair and pulled him closer. The room around us was forgotten. When he set me down again, I felt a little disoriented and wobbly, and he lent me an arm to steady me. Then he studied me with that playful gaze he always had when he thought I was acting cute. His lips approached mine again, but before he kissed me, he whispered: “People, thank you for your visit and your presents, but the party is over and I’ll see you tomorrow for the official festivities.”
Martellius gave him a good-natured pat on the shoulder. “Nice try, son, but you’re not getting rid of us this quickly.” Stefan and the others agreed. Michael ended the kiss and looked around the room in irritation. He held me in his arms and squeezed me.
“I’m sorry I don’t have a present for you, but I didn’t know you were celebrating your fifteen-hundredth birthday today.” I was a little breathless and he gave me a sheepish smile. I guessed the reason easily: “Michael, I really don’t get why you felt you had to lie about your age. Seriously, it doesn’t make a difference whether you’re twelve hundred, thirteen hundred, or fifteen hundred years old. Anyway, as I said, I didn’t bring a present, but I suppose I am Stefan’s present for you.” He didn’t reply, but simply hugged me more tightly.
Suddenly Nikelaus pushed through the crowd and wedged himself between us, ostensibly to congratulate Michael. After some lame flowers of speech, he turned to me. “Melanie, whenever you’ve had enough of him, you’re very welcome to come to me.”
“Thanks, but no thanks, Nikelaus.” I supposed that ‘fuck off’ would have been inappropriate. Next, Natalia, Michael’s mother, came over and put an arm around me. She led me away from the two men and said: “When you spent Christmas at our place, I was afraid he had fallen in love with you. Looks like I was correct. Don’t get me wrong, but if one of us falls in love with one of you, the catastrophe is already on the horizon. One day you will die and he will suffer.”
The fact that I would die someday sounded like an accusation. She made it sound as if it was my fault. It didn’t take long before Michael had gotten rid of his uncle and other assorted people who wanted to chat with him, and came back to put an arm around me. For the rest of the afternoon and evening, he didn’t leave my side again and kept telling me that he’d rather be alone with me. As if he feared that I might vanish somehow any moment, he tried to maintain constant physical contact. A few times he announced that the party was over, but his guests didn’t care. When I got tired and wanted to go home, he offered me one of his guest rooms. Since it was already dark outside, I accepted his offer and retreated for the night. The Peris did not go to bed but continued to celebrate and party, while I lay dreaming in Michael’s spare bedroom. It was the first restorative night since I had left him.
The next day I woke around noon. Nothing betrayed that a big party had taken place the night before. Michael was waiting for me in the kitchen. As soon as I set foot into the room, he slowly approached me and kissed me tenderly. He was very cautious, almost tentative, as if I was a skittish fawn. He didn’t want to overwhelm me, that much was obvious. “Magda cooked lunch for us. Would you eat with m?” he asked clumsily. His fingers were intertwined and his eyes were pleading with me to say yes. I could hardly resist his supplication. “I’m starving,” I replied indulgently and that elicited a smile from him. He hugged me and we went into the dining room.
“I feel like a besotted teenager,” he admitted while he poured me a glass of champagne. He kept studying me with eyes that were sparkling with affection. While we were eating, he asked abruptly: “Could you explain to me what you meant when you told the Senaven who attacked us in the park, ‘now I know your energy signature’?”
“I have no idea, I was bluffing. I remembered that my father said the same thing when he fought them years ago.”
“Why didn’t you kill them?”
“First of all I did not have the heart …”
Michael shook hi
s head and smiled, as if to say ‘I knew it.’ I ignored his derision and continued: “And second I couldn’t remember the fourth word.”
“The first word was air, the second water, the third was earth, so I’m guessing the fourth would have been fire. I don’t see how that could work. It’s not even a spell, just four simple words,” he explained.
“Michael, I have no grip on magic, as you well know. That woman, the Peri from the spa who took my energy, she told me I was something far worse than a dragon.”
Peris Night: Terakon (Secret Language) Page 41
