by Amy Cross
I hesitate for a moment, before finally getting up. I don't like the idea of trusting anyone, but in some ways this old man reminds me of the other old man I met when I first came to the island. He died so that I could escape from the cannibal camp, so I figure that maybe older people are more trustworthy. Dumb, I know, but that's how my mind is working right now. Besides, I need to learn more about what happened, so I can warn the others back at Steadfall.
“Walter,” he says with a faint smile, reaching out a trembling hand for me to shake. “My name is Walter. Please, come with me. It might still not be safe out here.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Asher
Another explosion rips through the building, bringing the ceiling crashing down on top of us. I turn and duck for cover, and a moment later I hear cries from nearby. My targeting systems aren't working properly and I can't see a damn thing, but I can tell someone's hurt.
“Status!” I call out, although I quickly start coughing as thick, acrid dust fills the air. “Status!”
I wait, but the only response is a slow, anguished groan.
“I'm coming!” I continue, struggling to push a broken beam from across my chest. “Medic! Get a medic in here! Someone get a -”
Suddenly I sit up in the darkness of the hut, and I realize in a flash that I was dreaming. With sweat pouring down my body, I listen to the silence of the camp, with only the sound of the night fire making any noise at all. Everyone else is asleep, apart from the two people who are up for sentry duty tonight.
Realizing that I won't be able to get back to sleep any time soon, I get to my feet and head over to the doorway. As I look out at the fire in the center of the clearing, I can't help replaying that dream over and over in my mind. I don't know what changed, but over the past twenty-four hours I seem to have more and more of these strange memories, as if some inner barrier has begun to break down. There's a chance that they're not memories, of course, that they're just some kind of fantasy thrown up by my subconscious mind, but deep down I feel as if I really lived through these things.
For some reason, my medically-induced amnesia is slowly starting to wear off. I'm remembering parts of the war.
Making my way outside and around the side of my hut, I wander to the fence and look out at the dark forest. I wait, hoping that more memories might start to resurface, but after a moment I realize that they seem to come only during sleep. I have no idea what might have triggered this sudden change, but deep down I can't shake a sense of fear. I've spent so many years hoping that I'd remember the war, convinced that there was this yawning chasm in my mind that I had to refill. Now, however, I'm starting to realize that the memories might do more harm than good, that some of the things I remember might be better left forgotten.
Just as I'm about to turn and head back to my hut, I spot a figure hurrying away from town, heading out into the forest.
***
Keeping low, I make my way through the undergrowth, while keeping an eye on the figure up ahead. There's just enough moonlight for me to be able to make her out, but I can't quite identify her, not from this far back. It's definitely a woman, though, and for some reason she seems to be hurrying through the night.
As I continue to follow her, my first thought is that maybe it's someone who simply wants to leave Steadfall, and who prefers to do so under cover of night rather than making a fuss during the day. After a moment, however, it occurs to me that something more sinister might be happening. What if Deckard didn't really leave? What if he's out here somewhere, and he has a little network of informants who are taking him food and water, and filling him in on what's happening in the town? If that's the case, he might be planning a triumphant return to overthrow me. Paranoid, perhaps, but still possible.
Stopping suddenly, I realize that I've lost track of the figure. I take a moment to ensure that she hasn't somehow doubled back, and then I creep forward.
After a moment, I realize I can hear a voice in the distance.
I wait, hoping to make out what's being said, but the voice is a little too low and indistinct. Carefully stepping forward, I make sure to stay as quiet as possible as I slip between the trees, edging closer and closer to the sound up ahead. Just as I think I might be able to hear a little better, however, the voice abruptly stops. I freeze for a moment, but now there's only silence all around. Worried that the mysterious figure might come back this way, I duck down and stay completely still for a few minutes, but gradually I start to realize that I might have lost the trail entirely.
Finally I get to my feet. Looking around at the moonlit forest, I suddenly feel as if I'm very exposed out here. Turning, I start making my way back toward town, while regularly glancing over my shoulder to make sure that no-one can sneak up behind me.
A few minutes later, just as I'm getting close to the edge of town, I hear footsteps tramping through the undergrowth nearby. I turn just in time to see Leanne coming this way, and I realize with a hint of shock that she must have been the person I was following earlier.
“Oh, hey,” she says as soon as she spots me. She seems a little startled, and she checks over her shoulder as if to make sure that no-one else is around.
“Out for a walk?” I ask cautiously, trying not to seem too suspicious.
“I couldn't sleep,” she replies, turning to me with a nervous smile. “I don't know, it's just something about this island. Half the time I'm terrified and I just want to hide, and then...” Her voice trails off.
“And then the rest of the time, you want to see what's out there?”
She laughs. “Something like that.”
“You should be careful,” I tell her. “Occasionally you get a few stray people wandering around, and they can be dangerous.”
“So why were you out there?” she asks.
“I can take care of myself,” I reply, although I immediately realize how conceited that might sound. “I just wanted to clear my head,” I continue, while wondering how I can bring up the subject of the voice I heard. “Did you see anyone else on your travels?”
She shakes her head.
“No-one?” I ask.
“Just you,” she replies, smiling nervously. She glances back the way she came, and then she turns to me again. “Did you see anyone else?”
I briefly consider telling her about the voice, but finally I shake my head.
“Well that's good, right?” she continues. “It's pretty goddamn creepy out there, I probably won't go wandering around alone at night anymore. There was a moment when I actually wasn't sure I could find my way back.”
“You can always find your bearings using the north star,” I tell her.
“I wouldn't know about that,” she replies. “Stuff like stars... I'm really not an outdoors kind of person.”
Once we've made our way back into town and exchanged a few more pleasantries, she heads over to the hut that she's been sharing with Ben. I make my way to my own hut, but I pause for a moment before slipping through the darkness and heading over to listen in case Leanne is saying anything to Ben about her trip out into the forest.
“Just forget about it,” I hear his voice muttering with a sigh. “It's not important.”
“I know, but she -”
Before she can finish, I hear a faint shuffling sound from inside the hut. I wait a moment longer, but suddenly I realize I can hear them kissing, and finally there are a couple of faint moans. Figuring that the last thing I want is to listen to them making love, I head back to my hut. Maybe if I sleep some more, I might have more dreams about my past.
Nearby, someone lets out a brief cough in one of the other huts.
Chapter Twenty-two
Iris
“Did you hear that?” Walter asks suddenly, turning and looking back the way we came.
I glance over my shoulder, but all I see is the vast moonlit forest.
“Sometimes I think there are...” He pauses for a moment. “Oh, I'm a crazy old man, I know that, but sometimes I thi
nk there are ghosts out here.”
I turn to him.
“I've seen things, too,” he adds, his eyes wide with fear. “Just once or twice, I've spotted figures moving between the trees at night. Maybe they were regular people, but there was something about the way they walked, and the way they...” His voice trails off. “One of them looked at me with the coldest eyes I've ever seen. I wanted to call out to her, but I didn't dare. And then I blinked and she was gone.”
I wait for him to continue, but he seems lost in the memory.
“It's not good to be out at night,” he continues finally, grabbing my arm and leading me through the forest. “Whatever's out here, ghosts or people, I don't want to run into any of them.”
Chapter Twenty-three
Asher
“It's nothing,” Mary replies, pulling away and grabbing a fresh section of canopy, ready to get back to work. “I'm just -”
Before she can finish, she breaks out into another coughing fit, and this time she has to stop while she waits to get her breath back. After a moment, I spot flecks of blood on her hand and wrist.
“She's been like this for an hour now,” Leanne says nervously. “Ever since sunrise. She's got the sickness!”
“I'm fine!” Mary says firmly, turning to her. There's fear in her eyes, though, and it's clear that she's lying. When she turns to me, I realize that she's close to tears. “Please,” she continues, “I just need to rest. I've been working double-time since Emma had to stop, and maybe I pushed myself too far.” She pauses, before setting the piece of canopy down. “I'll go and sleep.”
“You can't be around other people,” I tell her.
“I'm not sick!”
“We can't risk letting anyone else get infected!” I continue. This time, when she tries to get past me, I grab a knife and hold it up, forcing her to stay back. “Don't make this more difficult, Mary. If everyone's smart here, there's a good chance you'll be fine.”
Hearing voices nearby, I turn and see that most of the town's population has gathered to watch now. It takes something pretty major to draw them away from breakfast, and I can see that they're worried. Turning back to Mary, I realize that she's watching the knife, as if she's thinking about trying to grab it from my hand. She's usually a pretty sensible woman, but right now she's scared and she doesn't want to admit that something's wrong. Before she can protest any further, however, she starts coughing again. I swear to God, it sounds like she's on the verge of bringing up her lungs.
“She's sick!” one of the nearby women says, with fear in her voice. “Don't let her near the rest of us!”
“She's going to be quarantined,” I tell them.
“Deckard would've driven her out by now!”
“Deckard isn't here,” I point out.
“And whose fault is that?” asks one of the men, his eyes filled with scorn.
“Mary,” I continue, turning to watch as the poor woman coughs up more blood, “you know you have to stay away from the rest of us, at least while we figure out what's wrong with you. We have to think about the good of the town, and about making sure everyone's safe. We'll bring food and water, and blankets, but you have to go into the forest and -”
“And die?” she splutters breathlessly. “Is that what you want?”
“I want you to get better,” I tell her, “and I want everyone else to stay healthy.”
“You want me to crawl away like a dying animal,” she continues, clearly starting to panic. Her blood-spattered hands are trembling and the look in her eyes is getting wilder by the second. “I'm not like Emma! I'll be fine if I just get some rest!”
“We can't take that risk,” I reply, stepping closer with the knife raised. “Mary, please, no-one wants this, but you have to -”
Before I can finish, she lunges at me. I raise the knife, ready to strike, but at the crucial moment I hesitate. Slamming into my chest, Mary pushes me down and lands on top of me, and then she scrambles past, kicking my face in the process. I turn and try to get her leg, as the crowd parts to avoid contact with her. Just as I'm about to call out to her, however, Leanne steps in front of her and lashes out. Mary pulls back, and it takes a moment before I realize that Leanne was holding a knife.
Clutching her throat, Mary stumbles past me and then drops to the ground with blood pouring from the knife-wound. Her eyes stare wildly ahead but, when she tries to speak, blood erupts from her mouth. She reaches out toward me, but I pull back and watch in horror as she drops dead to the ground, and then I turn to see the bloodied knife in Leanne's hands.
“It was instinct,” she stammers, clearly shocked and terrified. “I didn't mean to, but I was scared she'd infect us all!”
“You did the right thing,” says one of the nearby women, and several other voices immediately signal their agreement.
Getting to my feet, I feel a sharp pain in my chest and cheek from where Mary scrambled over me. Looking down, I realize there are blood spatters on the front of my tunic, and when I try to wipe them away I simply end up smearing them across the fabric. I'm pretty sure it's my own blood from the cut lip Mary gave me, but I can't be sure.
“Maybe you're infected now,” Carly suggests.
“Of course I'm not,” I mutter, turning to her. She immediately takes a step back, as if she's scared of me. “It's just on my clothes,” I continue, trying not to panic as I pull the top part of my tunic away. Once I've got it off and thrown it to the ground, I turn to the others. “See? It didn't soak through. There's none on my flesh.”
“What about your mouth?” one of the men asks. “Maybe you got some of her blood in there?”
“I didn't!” I hiss, hurrying across the clearing and grabbing a spare tunic, to cover my bare chest. After slipping into the tunic, I turn and see that I'm still being viewed with suspicion. “I'm not infected!” I tell them. “Mary obviously caught it from Emma because they spent so much time together! They worked in the same area! I didn't get one drop of blood on me!”
Even as the words leave my lips, however, I can tell that I'm starting to sound desperate. We've had two deaths now from this illness and people are close to panic, and I need to show the others that I can take charge.
“I'll spend the rest of the day away from town,” I continue finally, hoping to calm their fears. “And the night, too. One of the few things we know about this sickness is that it seems to come on fast, so I'll go out into the forest and spent the next twenty-four hours in seclusion. I'm not doing that because I think there's a chance I'm ill, I'm doing it to prove to you that I'm fine. I'll stay away until tomorrow morning. Will that make everyone feel better?”
“You should eat first,” one of the women mutters.
“I won't go too far,” I tell them, heading to the cooking area and grabbing a portion of rabbit. My hands are trembling, but I manage to get them under control. The last thing I need is to show fear. Figuring that I've got everything I need, I turn and look out toward the forest, and then I glance back at the others. “I'll just go a mile or two, just enough for you all to feel safe. But I'll be back in tomorrow morning, and I swear I'll be fine, and then we can set about making sure that this sickness really has been driven away for good.”
I wait for a reply, but they're still watching me with a mixture of fear and hatred. Making my way toward the fence, I spot Leanne up ahead, with Ben next to her.
“Where's Harold?” I ask.
“He's off somewhere,” she replies.
“Where?”
“I...” She pauses, as if she knows but doesn't want to say. “I'm not sure,” she says finally. “Just... off somewhere.”
“Can you tell him what happened?” I ask, even though I don't really know why it matters. Deep down, I feel as if he might be the only one around here who's on my side. “Let him know that I'm fine, that this is just rampant paranoia, and that I'll be back in tomorrow morning.”
“Sure,” she says, forcing a nervous smile. “I'll make sure to tell him that.”
/> I want to ask her more about her little trip out into the forest during the night, and about the fact that I heard her talking to someone, but I doubt she'd tell me the truth. She quickly makes an excuse to slip away with Ben, leaving me standing along for a moment until I realize that I'm being watched intently by the rest of the town. When I make eye contact with them, I realize that they think I'm somehow diseased, that I'm a walking bag of infection, so I figure I just have to stick to my plan and prove to them that I'm fine.
Finally I turn and walk away, heading out of Steadfall and back into the wilderness.
Chapter Twenty-four
Iris
“I knew trouble was coming for quite a while,” Walter explains as he leads me toward the remains of a small campfire, several kilometers from the ruined town. It took us all night to get here, and he spent most of that time telling me about his old life before the island. “I decided that I had to get ready to strike out on my own. I've been here on the island for long enough to understand how things work.” He glances at me with sadness in his eyes. “You can't trust anyone. Always remember that.”
“How do you know you can trust him?” Della whispers.
Turning, I see her following just a few feet behind. I know she's not really there, of course, but she's voicing the concerns that are slowly rumbling in the back of my mind.
“I don't,” I imagine telling her.
“So be careful,” she replies, reminding me of something I already know. “Be ready to run.”
“I know.”
“Are you just addicted to old men?” she asks. “Do you feel safe around them? The last guy treated you like some kind of dog. You're repeating yourself, you know. You're too scared to face the challenges of Steadfall, so you've come back out into the wilderness. Are you sure you're not secretly hoping to get killed? That'd be pretty easy, wouldn't it? Are you a coward, Iris?”
