by Jeff Ashton
I thought about the look on George’s face then, and how utterly eviscerated he’d been by both the accusation itself and the idea that his daughter would make up such an outrageous claim. I remembered the sound of Cindy’s voice as she leaned over to him and said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” echoing a sentiment that everyone associated with this case had wondered at one point or another, yet it was the first time we’d heard Cindy say it. I recalled how sorry I felt for them in that moment—because they’d lost their granddaughter, but also because I could see just how hard it was for them to accept the reality of what their daughter had become.
In some ways that day at our office had changed everything and in other ways it changed nothing. While George’s demeanor toward us shifted for the better after that, Cindy’s remained largely the same. Now, months after that day, their disconnect appeared to have only grown more entrenched, and it was on full display on Dr. Phil. For anyone watching the segments, it was obvious that they were still going in opposite directions. Cindy was as rooted in her denial as ever, even going so far as to test out a brand-new “theory” about a seizure playing a role in Casey’s decision-making and Casey’s ability to help or protect Caylee. Meanwhile, George, in some of his strongest statements to date, appeared as though he was finally facing the reality he’d spent three years ignoring, saying that he felt Casey had played a role in Caylee’s death, though he could not say precisely what.
Replaying all of my various interactions with them over the years, it was hard not to feel frustrated all over again by the behavior each of them had displayed throughout this case. Difficult as they had been, though, neither of them deserved what Casey had put them through. I’m not sure how any parent bounces back from what they’ve experienced. My hope for them is that whatever their beliefs may be—whether it’s complete denial or tacit acceptance—they are able to heal and move on. To find a way to make themselves whole again. And perhaps someday, a while down the line, maybe even Cindy will finally have the fortitude and the hindsight to pick Caylee.
AS A PROSECUTOR, ONE OF the things that you never want to get good at is losing. I’m a competitive person and I like to win, but in a case like this the loss always feels worse, because the stakes are so much higher.
In many ways, it’s been strange for me during the months since the verdict to see such a high level of frustration with the verdict, one that’s usually reserved for the actual losing participants, spread across the country. On one hand it’s helpful to know that I’m far from alone in thinking that this verdict was the wrong decision. On the other hand, though, it’s odd how personally people took the decision. While I applaud everyone’s passionate support of justice for Caylee, it’s important to remember that as unsatisfying as this may be, this is how the system works. In general, you put your faith in the system, and usually it treats you right. Sometimes there is a case that manages to expose the flaws that exist, but that doesn’t mean the system is broken—just that it’s not something we can simply bend to our will.
Looking to the future, the trick for me, as well as for everyone else who finds themselves angry and frustrated, is how do we let go? How do those of us who haven’t forgotten Caylee in our hearts move on? Forgive? Not possible. Forget? No way.
There are no easy answers to these questions, but the one thing I’ve learned in my years as a trial lawyer is that you must accept the verdict. The law will not punish Casey. We have to come to terms with that. What we can all hope for instead is to turn that anger we feel into something positive. In the past, when faced with an outcome like this, I’ve always channeled my frustration into another case. I did this not because I wanted another chance at winning, but because I wanted to turn my frustration into something positive. And that is the best that those of us who want to remember Caylee can do. Turn your anger into something positive—hug your child, help someone else, keep a little closer eye out for the little ones you see running around. Justice is not just about what gets decided in the courtroom, it’s about how we should go about our lives and respect others. And in the end, that’s what it really means to remember Caylee.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to acknowledge some people without whom my career, this case, and this book would not have been possible. First and foremost, my mother and father, Barbara and Richard Ashton. Mom, everything I have accomplished in my life has been for one single purpose: to make you and Dad proud of me. We talked many times about how much he enjoyed watching me work and how much we both wished he could have been around to see this one. Love you, Mom.
Now to my wife, Rita. Thank you for putting up with me, listening to me bitch on the bad days and brag on the good ones. You were a single parent a lot this summer, and I know it was tough at times. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. We found each other later in life, but sometimes the best is saved for last. I love you.
To my kids, Adam, Jon, Becky, Alex , David, and Emma, I am proud of you all and love having you in my life. To David and Emma, sorry Daddy didn’t have much time to play this summer.
To Linda Drane Burdick, trial partner, work wife, and friend. This has been the best professional partnership of my career. You are truly one of the best lawyers I have ever worked with. I will forever be in your debt for bringing me in on this case.
Frank George, it was truly an honor to finally get to work with you. Your level head and sense of humor were a perfect complement to the team. Your skill and professionalism are your great assets and will serve you well in what will be a stellar career in law.
Lawson Lamar, thank you so much for allowing me to serve you once again on this case. Your constant support of our efforts is greatly appreciated.
Mario Perez and Arlene Zayas, your tireless support was the key to our ability to present this case in a competent and professional manner
Professor Bernard “Andy” Raum, thank you so much for all of the advice and assistance in the case.
To Yuri, John, and Eric, the investigative team from the sheriff’s office that I have spoken of so often in these pages, and Nick Savage and Karen Cowan of the FBI. You guys are amazing; you put heart and soul into the case. You did everything you could. You should be proud.
To the ladies and gentleman of the crime scene unit, who spent countless hours of work sometimes braving snakes and poison ivy to find Caylee and give her remains the respect they deserved. I salute you all.
My thanks to Mark NeJame, whose behind-the-scenes assistance in dealing with the EquuSearch issues really made our job so much easier.
To Lisa Pulitzer, thanks for helping me tell this story and making me sound halfway intelligent. Thanks to Martha Smith for pitching in as well. We would have been at this till Christmas without you. To my editor at HarperCollins, Matt Harper, thanks for staying on me and putting the final polish to our words.
Last, to all the well-wishers and supporters who sent us their kind words—my eternal thanks.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Jeff Ashton recently retired from a thirty-year career as a prosecutor in Orlando, Florida. He is the most experienced homicide prosecutor in the history of Orange County and a veteran of more than seventy successful homicide prosecutions. He lives in Florida.
Lisa Pulitzer is a former correspondent for the New York Times and author of more than a dozen nonfiction titles, including New York Times bestseller Stolen Innocence (with Elissa Wall) and Portrait of a Monster: Joran van der Sloot, a Murder in Peru, and the Natalee Holloway Mystery.
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CREDITS
Cover photographs by Red Huber/Orlando Sentinel
COPYRIGHT
IMPERFECT JUSTICE. Copyright © 2011 by Jeff Ashton. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, n
ontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-0-06-212532-3
EPub Edition NOVEMBER 2011 ISBN: 9780062125361
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