“Exactly.”
Wyatt tried to process the depth of this knowledge and what it meant for the two of them. Paige had never been with a man in any way, shape, or form. Her only relationship was pretend. It meant his dick needed to stay in his pants for now.
“I don’t like to be touched, Wyatt.”
“I know.” He eased his fingers from the back of the couch to her cheek, brushing away the damp streak of her tear with the pad of his thumb. “But you’ve stopped panicking when I touch you.”
“Yeah, and it makes me feel strange. Even the first few times you touched me were weird.”
He smiled, remembering shaking her hand the night they met and then the contact of his fingers against hers next to his truck in the parking lot of Cuppa Joe. “You were so freaked out. You nearly ran from me the morning after we met.”
“Something happened that day. I can’t explain it.”
“You don’t have to. I was there.” He smiled again.
She tipped her face into his palm again. “When you touch me, it soothes instead of making my skin crawl.”
“That’s a good thing.” Thank fuck.
“I’m not used to reacting to someone the way my body reacts to you.”
A broader smile he could not stop. “At least I’m not alone.”
She glanced away, face pink, embarrassed. “I can’t give you more though, and that’s not fair.”
Oh, she was so totally going to give him more. All the more. He just needed to be patient. “Have I asked for more?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not stupid. If you’re as turned on in my presence as I am in yours, you must be…in pain.”
He chuckled, leaning his forehead closer until it touched hers, his hand still cupping her face. She never wore makeup, and she didn’t need it. She was so naturally gorgeous. He would probably drop dead of a heart attack if she looked any better. But this moment here, this raw open feeling of staring into her pure eyes and pink cheeks… Damn. “I can deal with a bit of discomfort, Paige.” He took her empty mug from her hand and set it on the end table without breaking their locked gaze.
Her gaze lowered to his lips.
He eased his thumb down to stroke over her bottom one, watching the way they parted at his touch.
“You’re not going to give up, are you?” she murmured.
“Never.”
“I don’t think I’m fixable.”
“We’ll see.” He watched her mouth, mesmerized by her full pink lips.
And then she licked them again. Fuck me.
He pursed his lips and backed away from her face slowly.
She shocked him by grabbing his biceps and rising up onto her knees to crawl closer. “I think I’d like you to kiss me.”
He frowned, shocked. Such an about face. “I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“I don’t.”
“It’s not like you haven’t been kissed before. I’ve seen you kiss Gavin.” He gave her a silly smirk.
She shuddered and scrunched up her face. “I’m betting it’s not the same.”
“Ya think?” he teased, setting his hands on her waist and fighting the need to moan around the feel of her so close to him. Her shirt was rising. If he glanced down, what would he be able to see? He didn’t glance down.
She released his biceps to cup his face. “I don’t want you to think I’m a tease. I can’t offer more than this right now.”
“You’re so not a tease. I’ll never think that. If you want to kiss, we’ll kiss. It’s a normal thing to do, Paige. People kiss all the time without expectations of more.” He grinned. “They don’t usually discuss it for ten minutes beforehand, but people kiss.”
“People aren’t us. I’m not naïve. I feel the pull. Parts of me are coming alive I didn’t know I had. There’s a knot in my stomach that won’t go away.”
He breathed heavily. Every inhale drew in her arousal. Yeah, there was much more than a knot in her belly. She was wet with arousal. Her nipples were puckered too. He could see them. Her damn breasts were full and high and pert for someone so tiny.
She inched closer until her knees were against his thigh and her chest nearly brushed against his. Too bad he didn’t have some sort of telekinetic ability to make their shirts disappear.
He lifted her slight body and set her sideways across his lap. His cock pressed into her thigh, but there was no way to avoid it. As she slid her hands down to his shoulders, he smoothed his up her sides with the intent of cupping her face and angling her head. His thumbs brushed past her breasts, driving him insane with the need to stop and wrap his fingers around them. He didn’t, but it cost him.
When he had her cheeks in his palms, he met her gaze. “No one’s ever died from a kiss.”
“I’m counting on it.” She was serious.
So was he.
He lowered his lips to hers, gently brushed them over her softer, fuller ones, and then when she opened her mouth slightly, he tipped his head to one side and deepened the kiss.
She sighed into his mouth, her fingers digging into his shoulders.
He pressed closer, loving the feel of her against him. Everywhere they touched. But especially her mouth. After a few seconds, when it seemed she wouldn’t bolt, he touched her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. He then died two deaths when she responded in kind, her sweet taste filling his senses to overload as she tentatively met his tongue with her own.
He teased her, gradually dipping in farther until their tongues were fully tangled in the best kiss of his life. Best because the woman letting him inside was his mate and because she was so damn perfect.
She arched closer, her hands releasing his shoulders to curl up around his neck and burrow into the back of his hair. Her breasts pressed into his chest, and he swore he could feel the hard poke of her nipples.
Lost in the perfection that was having his mate on his lap, open to him, letting him in, he never wanted this moment to end. It was the closest they’d ever been, and he would never forget this first tentative coming together. Maybe it was only a kiss, but it was so much more.
Chapter Twelve
Paige didn’t care that she couldn’t breathe. She would give up breathing if it meant that Wyatt would continue to kiss her socks off for all of eternity. A part of her brain—the part any sane twenty-four-year-old woman would be able to tap into—told her she wasn’t playing fair. This would not be enough for Wyatt.
She could feel the hardness of him pressing into her thigh and knew he needed more. Even though she’d never had a normal relationship with a man—or any relationship at all—she wasn’t stupid. Besides, if she judged how he had to be feeling compared to the desire building in her own body, she would have to feel remorse for the way she was treating him.
But it felt so damn good to be held like this. Kissed. Not an ounce of pressure to do anything more.
Every inch of her skin crawled with need. She craved the touch of his hands on her breasts. When he’d grazed over the sides with his thumbs, she’d come completely alive in a way a woman should. Her nipples were tight and achy. Her breasts were heavy and full. And the space between her legs was wet and throbbing.
The urge to squirm increased by the second. She needed relief of some unimaginable sort.
Something seeped into her consciousness. A noise. A ringing. A phone.
It broke the spell, jerking her back to the present.
Wyatt released her mouth, still nibbling around her lips for several seconds. “What timing.”
Good or bad timing? She wouldn’t ask.
The ringing stopped, but then it started again.
“You should get that. It might be important.”
“Especially at this hour,” he whispered back, making no move to release her. “I should.” He nibbled a path to her ear instead and kissed the sensitive spot right behind her lobe.
She shuddered, and the moan that escaped her lips startled her.
“Yeah. That’s what I wan
t to hear,” he murmured into her ear.
The phone stopped ringing.
Wyatt sighed against her neck. “Better see who that was.”
He lowered his hands to her waist and lifted her off his lap to set her on the couch. As he stood, he leaned over her to give her one last peck on the lips. “Don’t move.”
She smiled. Where would she go?
He padded across the floor toward the kitchen counter and snagged his cell off the granite while she admired his ass in those damn jeans. “That can’t be good,” he stated as he returned to her with the phone and held it out. “It was Gavin. Better call him back.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he’s worried.”
Wyatt shook his head. “Don’t think so. I spoke to him while you were in the bath.”
“You did?”
“He called.”
“Oh.” She took the phone from Wyatt and hit send to reconnect with the latest call.
“Wyatt?” Gavin asked after a half a ring.
“It’s Paige. You okay?”
“Yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to bother you, but I thought you should know that crazy reporter was just here. She was persistent too. Pried me for details, wanting to know where you were and where she could find you.”
“Jesus. That woman is crazy.” Paige set her gaze on Wyatt as he lowered back onto the couch next to her. She mouthed, “Kelly. The reporter.” Or maybe she half spoke the words into his head.
Wyatt nodded and toyed with a lock of Paige’s damp hair. The familiar touch was so endearing that she almost forgot she was on the phone.
“Yes. She makes my skin crawl, Paige.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her you left early and I didn’t know where you went.”
Paige smiled. “Thanks. I owe you one.”
“You owe me several, but I’m willing to settle for some details about what’s going on with Wyatt Arthur. You coming home soon?”
“Yeah.”
Gavin didn’t sound convinced when he laughed. “How about I bring you a bag of clothes, and you stay there a bit longer?”
That wasn’t a bad idea. “Would you?”
“Yep. I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“You’re an angel.”
“Just remember that when I’m a distant memory.”
“You know that’ll never happen.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. From what I’ve heard, this binding business among shifters is serious. I don’t get the impression you’re going to get out of it.”
Paige scrunched up her face. “Who told you that?”
There was a pause, and then Gavin rushed to say, “Eh, I can just tell. I’ll be there soon.” He hung up.
Paige lowered the phone. “That was weird.”
“What?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Just seemed like Gavin knows more about grizzly shifters than he should. But your sister probably filled him in at some point in the last few months.”
“Could be.” Wyatt took the cell from her and tossed it on the coffee table. “You need to go home?”
“No. Gavin’s gonna bring me some clothes.” She sat up straighter, her face paling. “Shit. That was presumptive. I should have asked first. You probably need to get to work.” Her pale cheeks turned pink next.
Wyatt smiled and tucked an errant lock of unruly hair behind her ear. “Paige, stop fretting. I wouldn’t want you anywhere but here. I know it’s hard for you to fully grasp yet, but this is your home. You’re welcome in it all the time whether I’m here or not. I’d like nothing better than for you to stay here.”
She started to speak, though she wasn’t sure how to respond.
He cut her off with a squeeze to her shoulder. “You’re my mate, Paige. Doesn’t matter that we haven’t completed the binding. Doesn’t matter when we do it or how long we take or what anyone else thinks. You’re still mine. Now and later. You have been for months.
“So, yeah. This is your place too. Make yourself at home. Come and go as you please. I’ll give you a key. As for today, I’m not going to work.”
“You’re not?”
“Nope. I’m all yours.”
“That idea both scares the hell out of me and thrills me at the same time.”
“I know.” He grinned his enormous grin that always made her melt. And then he sobered. “I’d like us to spend some time together. Talk.”
“About last night,” she murmured.
“Among other things. I want to get to know you better. I want to earn your complete trust.”
She groaned. “It’s not about trust, Wyatt.”
“In a way it is. In the last twelve hours you’ve let your walls down far enough that I can see over them. You told me your deepest, darkest secrets. That’s huge. Some of that burden is mine now. That’s trust.”
He was right, but could she give him more? She squirmed again, taking cues from her body that told her she could give him more. There was no denying she was his. That had never been in question. She’d known it from the same moment he figured it out. What she didn’t believe was that it would ever be enough.
It wouldn’t be fair to Wyatt for her to string him along thinking she could pull her shit together and have a relationship like a normal person. The thought of making love to him—or anyone for that matter—scared the hell out of her. Every time she let her mind wander in that direction, she got clammy worrying that she would picture her attacker leaning over her, forcing her. She would probably panic and start screaming if Wyatt climbed over her.
And sex wasn’t something she ever considered liking. She couldn’t figure out what all the hype was about. It hurt. Why would anyone do that?
Panic seeped into her, and she knew her face was draining of blood like it always did when she pictured having sex. She’d been unable to stop herself from visualizing sex with Wyatt for the last few months, and every time she ended up sweaty and shaking. He could be a great listener. He could comfort her. But he couldn’t take away that fear. No one could. Couldn’t he see that?
Sure, the kiss had been fine. Amazing. Parts of her had stirred. But it was only a kiss. How far could she go before she had a panic attack?
Wyatt stroked her neck with one finger where his hand rested on her shoulder. “What’s going on in that busy head of yours? Talk to me. I can literally see you pulling back, putting the walls back up.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Wyatt. I’m messed up. I won’t ever be quite right. I can’t have a normal relationship. You deserve better.” She nearly choked on those last words. It hurt. Her throat burned. She didn’t want him to find someone else. She wanted to be his. Be normal. Be like other people. But she wasn’t, and she couldn’t change the past to make it so.
“It doesn’t work like that, Paige. Maybe for some shifters, they can just walk away. Maybe every other person you’ve met has been able to walk away. Maybe you’ve been able to walk away from them too. But not this time. Call it Fate or Nature or whatever you want, but a force greater than us has intervened and decided you’re mine.”
Her heart was racing. Why was he making so much sense?
His voice dipped lower, hoarse with emotion. “I could no more turn my back on this, on you, than I could cut off my own arm. I’m asking you to give us a chance. Take a chance.”
She swallowed. “I’m scared, Wyatt.”
“What are you scared of?”
She stared at him, breathing heavily as if she were running. A tear ran down her face. Damn tears. Damn emotional overload. “I’m scared of never being what you deserve. I’m scared of letting you get closer to me. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to be touched without flinching. I’m afraid the nightmares will never go away, and you’ll be yanked out of your sleep in the middle of the night to my screaming for the rest of your life.”
“Baby…”
She nearly choked and shook her head. She needed to finish. “Wyatt, I don’t think I can have sex with you. I don’t e
ven want to test it. I’ve never wanted to have sex. Not with anyone. It’s burned into my brain as a horrible experience I can’t conceive of repeating.”
He eased his hand up to her neck and squeezed, leaning forward until his forehead touched hers. “I know you don’t understand how I feel, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I ache for you to the pit of my soul. Any piece of you is better than no piece. If you never let me touch you again and I spent the rest of my life simply sharing your space where I could see you, it would be enough. If you never took your clothes off, it would be enough. If you wake up ten times a night for the next eighty years screaming, I’ll be grateful to be the one to comfort you.”
She couldn’t stop the round of tears that ran down her face. He was so damn…nice.
“Now, that being said, I think you’ll get past these hurdles. I think if you take a look inside you, you’ll see that you know I’m right. You know we’re meant to be together. You know as strongly as I do that you can’t imagine your next breath happening without me in your life.”
He was right, but that didn’t make it fair. “You could bind to another. Someone whole. Someone without all this baggage. And you would forget me.”
He shook his head. “You know that isn’t true. Could you do it?”
She didn’t move.
“Could you, Paige? Could you walk out of my house right now and bind to someone else? Could you ever?”
“No.”
“Then don’t act like I could. I could tip my head four inches to one side right now, set my lips on your neck, and bind you to me. It doesn’t require sex.”
She flinched, jerking back at his suggestion.
He separated his face from hers a few inches, but he didn’t release her. “I would never bind you to me without your permission. Don’t freak out. You know me better than that. I’m just saying the world would look differently if we were bound together. I believe you would find the pull to me to be inescapable.”
“I already do,” she whispered, wiping away the tears that had finally stopped.
He gave a small smile. “I intend to convince you that you can’t live without me by the usual means.”
“What are those?” She eyed him suspiciously.
Grizzly Promise: A Werebear Shifter Romance (Arcadian Bears Book 4) Page 13
