by A. J. Markam
“A local innkeeper claimed that a warlock with an imp and a succubus threatened to burn down her inn.”
“That’s total bullshit!” I snapped. “I did no such – ”
“I did,” Alaria said, then giggled flirtatiously as she twirled her tail back and forth. “But I was only joking.”
“I… I see,” the captain said.
I stared back and forth between him and Alaria.
“Are you using some sort of magic on him?” I whispered.
“No, just my feminine wiles.” She paused, then whispered, “And my boobs.”
It appeared to be working. The guy’s tone changed considerably.
“I’m sorry, Miss,” he continued in a gallant voice, “but we are going to have to ask you to come along with us.”
“Why, good sir?” Alaria asked, and put a finger to her lips in that I’m just a helpless, sexy little vixen pose she’d used on me earlier in the day.
“Well, the Baron directed us to bring the fairest maidens of this land directly to him. And you qualify more than any other woman I have ever seen.”
Alaria giggled and batted her hand dismissively through the air. “Oh, stop it.”
The captain chuckled. “I swear by the goddess, it’s true. I have never seen a more…”
His eyes lingered lasciviously on her chest.
“…graceful creature in all my days.”
Alaria giggled again, then posed – one hand in her tousled hair, her head tilted to the side, her hips cocked at a seductive angle. “Do you really think so?”
I was getting insanely jealous. I knew it was ridiculous – especially since we were talking about freaking computer programs – but I couldn’t help it.
Mother effer was hitting on my succubus.
Not only that, but I was severely irritated that she was flirting with this guy.
“You do know she’s a succubus, right?” I snapped.
The captain of the guard looked at me like I was an uncouth ruffian who had just farted at a dinner party.
Alaria looked at me with barely contained fury. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
Crap.
“A whole bunch of people were willing to kill us earlier because I’m a Warlock and you’re succubus,” I snapped. “And now these guys want to take you to some baron who’s just fine with it?”
“The Baron is far more tolerant than other people,” the captain said haughtily. “He does not ascribe to the superstitions of the local villagers. He is a man of science and learning.”
“He might be a little more superstitious if he saw what we saw earlier tonight,” I shot back.
“I thought you didn’t want to start a fight,” Alaria hissed.
“I don’t, but – ”
“But what?” she said loudly. “Are you just trying to lay claim to your stake? Pissing on your territory?”
My blood started to boil.
One minute you’re telling a girl about Star Wars, the next she’s humiliating you in front of 20 guys.
“Fine,” I snapped. “I guess we’re going to see the Baron.”
“I guess we are,” she said with a triumphant smirk.
I turned back to the captain and swept my hand out in front of me. “By all means – lead the way.”
The captain looked slightly flustered at my change of attitude, but rolled with it.
“Men – form up behind them,” he ordered as he took off his helmet, exposing a handsome face with a square jaw. Then he extended his arm to Alaria. “I will personally escort the lady.”
“What about me and my imp?” I demanded.
The captain of the guard looked at me and Stig like we were something brown and creamy he’d found stuck to the bottom of his boot.
“You can walk behind us,” he said with haughty magnanimity.
“Thank you so much,” I sneered.
As we walked through the forest, the captain of the guard kept regaling Alaria with tales of his derring-do, all the tournaments he’d won, all the battles he’d triumphed in, blah blah blah. And she ate it up like it was Haagen-Dazs ice cream. She giggled, kept her arm on his the entire time, and pressed up against his body as much as possible.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was fuming by the time we got to our destination.
Speaking of our destination, it was… well, I can’t exactly say it was a castle or a city, but it was some kind of massive compound. A 20-foot stone wall encircled a huge area, big enough that the wall curved out of sight and left me with no idea how big the place was. There wasn’t a moat or a drawbridge, but there was a 15-foot tall iron portcullis.
As we walked towards the wall, the captain called out, “Raise the gate!”
A massive chain began rattling and clanking, and the portcullis slowly raised up. The captain led us towards it – he and Alaria first, arm in arm, then me and Stig, followed by the marching platoon of soldiers.
Alaria gasped as we approached the gate.
“Oh my – it’s so big.” Then she turned to the captain and smiled suggestively. “I’m sure you hear that a lot, don’t you?”
He broke into laughter and leered at her with one cocked eyebrow. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
I was beginning to really hate her. I already hated the asshole she was hanging all over. In fact, I –
Alaria turned around just as she and the captain passed under the gate.
“Are you ready?” she asked me with a completely straight face.
I was totally confused. “Ready for what?” I asked, just as Stig and I walked through the gate and into the compound.
“For this,” she said, and shot a fireball off to the side.
There were four armed guards manning the massive winch that raised the portcullis.
The fireball slammed into the iron chain and blasted it in two.
The portcullis came slamming down behind me and Stig – cutting off the other 19 soldiers from the city.
Oh.
This whole act she’d been doing was a set-up.
“Treacherous bitch!” the captain roared as he put on his helmet and drew his sword. “You will pay dearly for – ”
I was expecting Alaria to hit him with another fireball, but she did something that completely surprised me instead.
She pulled her top up over her breasts and exposed her bouncing, jiggling boobs.
The captain of the guard stopped mid-swing with his sword and just stared as his mouth dropped open in amazement.
So did the other four guards on this side of the portcullis.
And the 19 on the other side of the gate.
I couldn’t blame them – I had exactly the same reaction. Just bug-eyed staring.
You would think none of us had ever seen breasts before. Although, to be fair, we’d never seen any like hers.
Well, I had – but only on the internet. These guys didn’t have the internet. They might have existed ON the internet, but I don’t think surfing porn sites was one of their perks.
Good God her tits were amazing. Big and round and firm and soft, with her areolas several shades darker than her –
“IAN!” she yelled. “Zap them, for Goddess’ sake!”
Oh yeah.
I came out of my boob-induced stupor faster than the guards, at least.
I hit the captain with a Darkbolt that sent him flying onto his armor-plated back, where he struggled like an upside-down turtle with its feet in the air.
The other four guards moved to attack, but Alaria faced them and swung her shoulders back and forth, making her boobs jiggle.
They all froze in their tracks, mesmerized.
And… so did I.
“IAN!” she screamed.
Busted again, I snapped out of my trance and hit each of them with Darkfire, then summoned an Unholy Quartet. Just as I was about to join my imps in battle, Alaria grabbed my arm.
“Come on!” she shouted. “They’re going to get that gate up within a few seco
nds, and we can’t fight all of them at once!”
We ran through the dirt streets of the walled town – although, I have to admit, I mostly looked at her breasts bobbing up and down, totally free of her bra.
“Can you stop ogling me just for just one second and concentrate?” she snapped, and tugged her top down into place.
“Sorry,” I muttered, and forced my head to look forward – although my eyes were straining down and to my right.
Stig came running up next to us. “What we do, boss?”
“I don’t know!” I looked over at Alaria. “What we do?”
“We hide!”
Straight ahead of us was a large manor. Not a castle made of stone, but a very large, very ornate mansion made of wood. Something on par with the White House, I guess, if the White House had been constructed in a medieval magical videogame.
The front door was unlocked, and we darted inside the dark mansion.
“Go hide!” I hissed at Stig. He took off down the hall at a gallop.
Alaria dragged me around a corner and through a deserted dining room. No one was around – but we could hear the yelling of the guards out in the courtyard. They were getting closer.
We stumbled down a dark hallway and found a room filled with bolts of cloth and ball gowns on mannequins, like it was some sort of staging area for a royal tailor.
There was a huge wooden wardrobe at the end of the room, barely distinguishable in the gloom. Alaria raced over and opened the door.
“In here!” she hissed, then disappeared inside.
I followed her, then shut the door behind us. We were immediately enveloped in pitch black.
While it had looked big from the outside, the wardrobe was crammed with all sorts of clothes, and space was limited. I was jammed up against Alaria, her breasts smashed against my back.
Despite how nervous I was about the 20 guards looking to kill us, I started to get a chubby.
“Mmf – you’re crushing me,” she muttered, her voice muted by the folds of clothing all around us.
“Sorry, but I’m right up against the door.”
“There’s some room at the bottom – sit,” she whispered.
We awkwardly folded ourselves down into a sitting position, and it was true – most of the clothes ended a foot or two above the floor of the wardrobe, and there was at least a little more space on the bottom to sit. Instead of being smooshed against her standing up, now I was sitting with my body between her open legs, my ass right up against her crotch. And her breasts were still pressed against my back.
It was a pretty damn arousing position to be in. My chubby agreed, and graduated to three-fourths hard.
We sat there in the dark, listening intently for sounds outside the wardrobe. There was nothing.
Nothing but the tickle of her hair against my neck...
And her breath on my ear...
And the alluring scent of cinnamon and vanilla filling my nostrils...
And the firm pressure of her breasts against my back...
And the heat from her body – especially between her legs – radiating into mine.
My erection graduated to full salute.
Unfortunately, it was in a damn awkward position, pressed straight down – but I couldn’t exactly do anything, seeing as how tightly we were jammed up against each other.
“How long are we going to stay in here?” she asked, her breath tickling my ear even more. Even the sound of her whisper was maddeningly erotic.
My junk felt like it was going to start ripping its way out of my pants.
“I don’t know,” I whispered back. “Until it’s safe.”
“How are we going to know if it’s safe?”
“Shhh.”
We sat like that for another couple of minutes. Unfortunately, the more I thought about how hard I was, the harder I got. I have never followed sports in my life, so I had no access to baseball statistics to recite. And no matter what I thought about, I kept coming back to the tickle of her breath on my ear, the perfume of her body, the pressure of her breasts against my back, and the incredible heat radiating from between her legs.
Finally the pain got to be too great, and I tried to shift my legs so I could get my hand down my pants to readjust myself.
“What are you doing?” she hissed.
“Nothing,” I whispered. I had my hand down my pants, but it was really difficult to pull myself away from the tight folds of clothing –
“Yes you are,” she whispered. “I can feel you moving your arm. What you doing?”
My cheeks flushed bright red in the darkness. “Nothing!”
I couldn’t stop now. Relief was just a few seconds away – if I could just shift my leg up a little bit, maybe I would create enough room –
Suddenly I felt a very soft, feminine hand reach around my waist and fumble blindly in the darkness for my arm.
“What are you doing?” she whispered maddeningly into my ear.
“Stop that!” I hissed, and tried to pull my hand out –
Too late.
She touched my wrist and felt it inside the waist of my pants.
She gasped like she was both shocked and offended. “What are you doing, jerking off?!”
“No!”
“We could die any second, and you’re choking the chicken?!”
“No!” I hissed even louder. “It’s in an uncomfortable position!”
“Aw, poor baby!”
She said it sarcastically, but I could feel her hand moving along my skin, her fingers just barely touching me as they caressed my forearm. None of my ex-girlfriend’s hands had been this soft. Definitely not Amy’s.
And I could feel her long fingernails, too… slowly tracing their way across my arm…
She leaned in close and whispered, “You’re just a little pervert, aren’t you?”
She sounded more amused than appalled – and her breath in my ear sent erotic shivers down my back.
“Stop,” I moaned. “You’re making it worse.”
“Making what worse?” she asked. I could tell she knew the effect she had on me – and she was enjoying it.
“You know what!” I hissed.
“Okay, I’ll stop,” she murmured, and withdrew her hand.
Which, while it was guaranteed to eventually decrease blood flow to my nether regions, filled me with a different sort of agony. Like, BRING IT BACK!
About five seconds went by, and then she whispered in my ear, “Is it really hard?”
Then I felt her hand roving over the top of my pants.
She was heading right for it.
Oh my God.
“Stop,” I whimpered, although of course I didn’t want her to stop at all.
“Just tell me – is it hard?” she whispered in my ear.
“Yes!” I whispered harshly. “Now will you please stop?”
Silence for another five seconds.
“How hard is it?” she murmured, and I could hear the erotic curiosity in her voice.
Oh God.
I went from wood to steel.
“How hard is it?” she demanded.
“Hard!”
More silence, then…
“I want to touch it,” she whispered.
My erection basically became unbreakable at that point. Bulletproof.
“W-what?” I whispered back, unable to believe my ears.
“I want to touch it,” she whispered seductively, and I could hear desire and urgency in her voice.
“No – we’re hiding!”
“Please,” she whispered, and my entire body shivered.
“No!”
“Please?” she whispered coquettishly.
“No – ”
And then I felt her fingers on top of it, tracing the outline through my pants.
“Mmmm,” she moaned in my ear.
I couldn’t say ‘no’ anymore. What she was doing felt too good.
Well, except for the part where it was incredibly painful. But
now that she was touching me, I didn’t really mind the pain so much anymore.
I could feel her hand cupping me, circling her fingers around my shaft as much as she could.
Then she began to run her fingers up and down it softly, stroking it.
I gasped. “What are you doing?!”
“What do you think I’m doing?” she murmured, and I could hear the smirk in her voice. “I would’ve thought it’d be obvious.”
“We have to stop – ”
“Why?”
“Because they’ll catch us!”
“They haven’t caught us yet,” she whispered. “And we might be stuck in here for a long time. Hours. Without anything to do.”
My legs were trembling now as she ran her fingernails softly along the fabric of my pants, creating a light but incredible friction against my shaft.
“Do you want me to stop?” she whispered in my ear.
I didn’t answer.
“Do you?” she asked, and this time she brushed her soft, warm lips against my ear.
“No,” I moaned.
“Goooood.”
She started rubbing me a little more insistently, with longer strokes, more pressure –
I think I heard a few stitches pop in the crotch of my pants, I was straining so hard against her fingers.
“Take your hand out,” she commanded.
I didn’t exactly have my hand gripping it, so I wasn’t in her way – it was just awkward, and I had kind of given up trying to rearrange myself once she’d started doing her thing.
“Why?” I asked.
“So I can put my hand down there instead,” she breathed into my ear.
Stupidly, I asked, “Why?”
She giggled, the most erotic sound I think I’ve ever heard in my life. “Why do you think, silly?”
She waited just a second, then she answered her own question.
“Because I want to play with it,” she whispered.
I hastily extracted my hand.
Seconds later, I felt her fingers find the waistband of my pants, and slowly ease themselves down against my skin.
“Mmmmm,” she murmured.
Her hand kept moving down, down, until she reached me. I felt her fingertips like silk against my steel-hard shaft.
“Unnnnh,” she grunted, guttural and lustful.
I was about to pass out, I was so turned on.
She managed to get her fingers in between the fabric and me, and then encircled me with her fingers like an ‘O’… and slowly began to move up and down.
