by B. A. Wolfe
It wasn’t necessarily my dream so much as it was that my dad had the chance to go to a big university on a full scholarship but couldn’t. I was going for the both of us. I said yes for him and for me.
“It’s what you want right?” Dad asked, throwing the ball my way.
I caught it and blew a heavy breath. “Of course, who wouldn’t want this?”
Honestly, I’d be happier, here in Keaton. I was a small town guy. I loved the simple things. Being a mile from the diner, from my grandparents, from my girlfriend. Life was simple and perfect here. Which brought me to my other worry. . . .
“Hey, Dad?”
He caught the ball and arched a brow. “Yeah?”
I couldn’t say it, I had to abort the mission. “Never mind. I’m good.” I ran a hand through my longer than normal blond hair and made a mental note to get it cut. The curls were getting a little crazy. I quickly changed the subject. “Nice out today, huh?”
My dad chuckled and tossed another one of his game winning spirals. “Not so fast, bud. What else is on your mind?”
I rubbed the creases in my forehead and took another deep breath.
Get a grip, Jase. Just ask him.
I knew I couldn’t ask my mom. She wouldn’t understand. She wasn’t the one who had a scholarship and a choice to make back in the day like Dad did. Of course back then he had dark brown hair. Now he had a few greys but said they were a blessing and not many people got the chance to age. I always knew he was referring to my Uncle Jase, the man I was named after. I heard a lot of stories. So many stories in fact, this is why I was having a hard time. I had a lot to live up to. I was named after my uncle Jason, who was a saint. And then don’t even get me started on my dad and my mom. Their love story was epic. How was I supposed to live up to that?
Not to mention I had two younger sisters to look after. Maggie was fourteen and Melina was eleven, they were double trouble.
A large hand squeezed my shoulder and I looked up to see my dad. I had been so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t even notice him come my way. “Talk.”
I groaned and looked down at my shorts then back at up my old man. “Tell me the story about how you and Mom fell in love.”
He smiled. Mom always said she loved my dad’s smile. She also said I smiled just like him. I wasn’t sure I saw it but she swore it. “I’ve told you a million times. You’re not sick of that story yet?”
“Yeah, I know but….” I shook my head, this was stupid. I shouldn’t have said a damn thing.
“You’re not yourself, Jase.” Dad’s hand left my shoulder and he crossed his arms over his chest.
I couldn’t meet his eyes again so I looked at the tree. Dad had hung a wooden swing from one of the branches. It was Mom’s favorite, but my sisters loved it more I think. I remember pushing them on it when they were little.
Enough was enough. Spit it out, Jase. “How did you know?”
“Know what?” Dad’s voice dropped low.
My words got lodged somewhere between ‘I’m not sure this is the school for me’ and ‘I think I’m in love’. Part of me wasn’t sure about my future anymore. I was eighteen. The age we are expected to make decisions that will affect the rest of our lives. How could I not freak the hell out?
I took another breath and looked up at him. “How did you know you were in love?”
He sighed what sounded like relief and then his cheeks split into a huge grin. “The second I saw your mom. The second I held her. The second I heard her voice. I knew three things in that moment.” My ears perked up and I listened as if what he was about to say was the key to life. “That I loved her, that she was mine, and that I didn’t want to spend a second away from her.”
He made it sound like there was a rule book on this. That every man was just supposed to wake up and know. I rubbed the back of my neck with my sweaty palm. “That easy, huh?”
I dropped my hand and my dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder, tugging me too him. “Yep. Falling was easy, but getting there was the hardest part.”
“I don’t know what to do, Dad.” I didn’t know what to do about leaving Sam, about college. Part of me wanted to be the small town guy that I was and have my parents be okay with that. I wasn’t ready to leave my life behind for a chance to play football when I could help coach with my dad and have just as much fun.
“This is about Samantha isn’t it?” he asked as if he already knew the answer.
I nodded anyway. Sam’s blue eyes flashed in my mind, putting both a smile on my face and a pit in my stomach.
I was supposed to leave this weekend. I had a full ride to Colorado State University in Fort Collins. I was going to be a goddamn Ram for crying out loud. It was an honor to be playing on their team. But something inside just wasn’t settling right. Like I was spending more time convincing myself this was the right choice than actually knowing it was.
I had all summer to smile about it but now that it was looking me in the eye, I didn’t want to leave my life, my girlfriend, my sweetheart.
“My circumstances were different, Jase,” Dad interrupted my spinning head. “I couldn’t leave. But you can. You can live the life you want. Sam will be here when you get back.”
Dad had worked so hard to get me here. He was my coach, but that didn’t mean my position on the team was handed to me. My dad and his assistant Carter picked the players out together. I earned the title of quarterback. I was good because Dad taught me from a young age. Maybe I had an advantage but I’m the one who put in the man hours.
“Don’t be nervous. This is what you wanted. You should be so proud of yourself. Me and your mom certainly are.” My dad pulled me in for a hug.
I hugged my old man back and thanked him. He was right. I wore a smile the day I applied to college, the day the scouts came to watch me play. It was easy to sign those papers accepting an offer when you had your parents next to you bursting with pride. It was a dream. I just wasn’t sure if it was my dream.
“Thanks, Dad.” I pulled away from him and told him I loved him. If there was anything I knew for sure, it was that I had supportive parents.
“Love you too, son.”
Dad and I headed back inside and I grinned when the scent of my favorite chocolate chip cookies hit me. I strolled into the kitchen and grabbed a warm cookie off the plate. My mom and Melina were busy making another batch.
“Hmmm,” I started. “Not great, but better than the last ones at least,” I teased my sister. She loved cooking, but sometimes, it didn’t love her back.
She scowled and tossed her rag at me which I caught it with ease. “I made sure to put sugar in this batch. Leave me alone.” She whipped her head around, her dark curls bouncing as she did.
“Jase, leave your sister alone,” Mom scolded.
“These taste great, Meli,” Dad praised, coming up behind the two at the counter and placing a kiss on my sister’s head.
“Thanks Daddy.” Meli shot me a crusted look and I laughed.
“Really, these are so disgusting, sis,” I said, shoving another cookie into my mouth. I was a growing guy and who didn’t love a good cookie.
“I hope they make you sick,” Melina sassed back.
That girl was as feisty as the aunt she was named after. Melina was two weeks past due and stubborn to come out. Mom and Dad said they had the perfect name for her; after my Aunt Melanie.
I went to reach for another cookie when my phone began vibrating in my pocket. The way my skin buzzed, I knew it was my Sam. I both dreaded this call and loved it at the same time. She knew how torn I was about leaving. I saw it in her eyes how much she didn’t want me to go. We were down to our final days together. Each hour was getting harder than the last.
I fished the phone out of my pocket and looked at the screen. Her name and picture stared back at me. I grinned like an idiot and answered the call. “Hey, babe!”
“Ohhhhhh, baby. Hubba hubba hubba!” Melina sang song in the background and I chuckled, turning my ba
ck and resting my spine against the breakfast nook.
“Hey.” Sam’s voice was that perfect mixture of soft and sweet.
Just the way it was the day I met her. We started dating two years ago, our sophomore year of high school. I’d never forget it.
It was the second day of class and I was headed to English, walking down the hall with my teammates. We weren’t freshman anymore, this year was different.
“Do you think you’ll get to start as quarterback this Saturday against the Panthers,” Mike our linebacker asked me. The guys chimed in that I should be, and of course I agreed with them. But right then my focus was on her.
A pretty blonde who was struggling to open her locker. I watched as she scrunched her little nose and slapped the metal in that cute way girls try and hit something. Meaning, there was no muscle behind her arm.
My brain told me to leave it alone, and go to class, but my feet were changing direction and heading straight toward her. “I’ll meet you guys in class,” I mumbled. The guys of course, whistled and hollered and told me not to screw it up. I just waved a dismissive hand, my eyes still locked on her.
I hitched my backpack up on my shoulder and stopped when I got to her locker. “Need some help?” I asked, my voice a little shaky. Totally embarrassing.
“Yeah, actually I could.” Her eyes drifted from her yellow locker up to me. She stole a cute little breath and then nodded, a few times too many.
She was beautiful. She had blue eyes that reminded me of the color of the sky right after it stormed. The dark hues that surrounded bits of light blue sky. Breathtaking.
Ironically enough, her locker was the same one I had my freshman year. It was a piece of junk, the damn thing never opened. “This was mine last year.” I rested my left shoulder against the locker next to it. “There’s a little trick,” I told her trying to be smooth, except my face felt like it was on fire.
She was staring at me rather intensely, but hell, I liked it. Too bad I forgot what in the heck I was saying.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before she asked, “So, what’s the trick? You gonna show me?”
I cleared my throat and straightened my spine. “Uh, yeah.” I turned toward the locker, my hand brushing hers as she let go of the lock and I grabbed hold of it. I wasn’t sure but I’m pretty positive we both paused a second too long. “You, uh, you lift it like this, and then pull back,” I instructed, opening her locker. I couldn’t help but look inside of it as I swung the door open. The one thing that caught me was a journal that said, ‘Dare to Dream’.
“Wow, thanks!”
Our eyes met and she started chewing on her bottom lip.
God I think I loved her pink lips.
“No problem.” I curled my fingers around the strap of my backpack and told myself to leave. I had to stop staring at her. I didn’t want her thinking I was crazy. But then I said something that I was sure was crazy. “Sit with me at lunch?”
A big smile crept across her face. “As long as you don’t mind sharing your Tater Tots with me?”
I couldn’t hold back my grin. “Now you’re definitely sittin’ by me.”
She blushed and it was so damn cute. “Jase,” I said, telling her my name.
“I know,” she responded, her lashes fluttering like she was embarrassed and I couldn’t help the way the hair stood on my arms.
She knew?
“I’m Samantha,” she said.
I smirked. “I’ll see you at lunch, Sam.” I turned around before I pulled her to me and kissed her. That girl would be mine.
“Are you there? What are you doing?” Sam’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Eating Meli’s nasty cookies.” I glanced over my shoulder and chuckled as Melina tossed another cookie at me.
“Would you two stop!” Mom scolded, of course hiding her giggle.
“You are so mean to her!” Sam scolded. “Tell Melina that I found a recipe for peanut butter cookies we can make next weekend.” Her voice faded. I’d be gone next weekend.
I closed my eyes. “Those are my favorite,” I whispered.
“I’ll mail you some,” she offered, her words drowning in sadness.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I told her, knowing that a box of peanut butter cookies would be better than nothing.
“Can Sam come to dinner?” Melina asked and I turned around to face my family. They loved her. All of them.
“Tell her I’m making her favorite, bacon cheeseburgers,” Dad said, giving me a knowing look. He knew I wanted to spend every last minute I could with her and my family.
“Tell Aidan he had me at Bacon.” She giggled.
“You gotta come now.” I smiled knowing she couldn’t turn me down or her favorite cheeseburgers.
“I’ll be there. See you soon.”
My stomach turned as I ended the call. She wouldn’t see me ‘soon’ anymore. Dad’s firm hand squeezed my shoulder as he walked by. “Wanna help your old man?”
I nodded as Maggie came bouncing around the corner. She was back from the movies with her friends. ”Hey, bro.” She grabbed a cookie next to me.
“How was the movie, Mags?” Mom asked, putting the tray of cookies in the oven.
“It was so good, Mom. Channing Tatum is gorgeous!” Maggie gushed and I cringed.
“Glad you had fun, sweetie. Can you set the table for dinner? Set an extra place for Samantha.”
Maggie smiled but it quickly faded. “Will she still come over when Jase is at college? ‘Cause I’m gonna miss her if she doesn’t.” Maggie frowned and I left the room, heading outside to the grill.
Dinner had come and went. The burgers were great, as always, but I barely ate. Maggie’s comment dug its way under my skin. They were gonna miss her, but I was gonna miss her more.
Sam was going to the local community college. Her parents didn’t have the money for a big university and she wasn’t able to get a scholarship. She wasn’t upset about it though, she was just excited to go to college, and learn. My girl was a book nerd. My mom and her were two peas in a pod. Mom hired Sam to help out at the Library when she couldn’t be there.
“It’s getting late,” Sam’s soft voice brought me back and I looked down at her. “I should probably head home.”
We had been watching a movie on the couch, but it had been over for at least an hour. So, basically we were watching a black screen. She was tucked into my side, her body curled against mine, like she always did when we watched movies. Except, soon I’d be by myself watching them. My body would feel chilly without her next to me.
I squeezed her tighter. “I’m not ready for you to go yet,” I admitted, my words barely a whisper.
In seconds she threw her other arm around me, holding me like she never wanted me to leave. “We’ll make it,” she assured me.
I was far from convinced. There was no way some other guy wasn’t going to snatch this beautiful girl up. They’d fall for her eyes first, then her laugh, and then the second she hugged them, they’d never want to let her go. She loved with her whole heart. She made me laugh, put me in my place when I got cranky, and whipped up my favorite cookies when I was stressed.
“Why is this so hard?” I mumbled against the side of her head, smelling the rose scent of her hair.
She pulled back a little and gazed up at me. Her eyes were lined with tears causing me to bite down on my jaw. I hated making her cry.
“If this was easy for you I’d be really sad and probably mad.” She forced a smile.
She always knew what to say. “Stay a little longer, okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed.
Her head nestled back into the crook of my neck and my arms circled around her tightly.
We still had a week left.
***
The week wasn’t long enough. It was D-day. My bags were packed and my stomach was a wreck. I got up from the breakfast table and took my half empty plate with me. My mom looked up at me, her hands submerged in the sink. “Thanks
for breakfast, you always do make the best bacon and eggs, Mom.”
She had once told me Uncle Jase taught her and there were many days I wished I had met him. He seemed like he’d have been an awesome uncle, maybe he could’ve helped me through my dilemma.
She pulled her hands out of the soapy water and wiped them on a nearby dishtowel. “I’m gonna miss you.” Her voice cracked as she pulled me in for a hug. “You’re my baby, Jase. I can’t believe you’re leaving.” Her cheek hit my chest and I hugged her back.
“I’m gonna miss you more,” I said, resting my chin on her head. My throat tightened and I made a mental note of this moment. Mom always told me to do that, so I could remember everything.
“You’re only going to be four hours away. We’ll come see you often.” She pulled back and brought her hands to my cheeks. Her sad eyes blinked as she stared at me. “I remember the day you born like it was yesterday. And now you’re all grown up, headed to college.”
“I’m gonna make you proud, Mom.”
Tears fell down her face. “Oh, Jase! You already have.”
I choked back a cry. “In case I don’t say it enough, I love you.”
She hugged me again and I was worried she’d never let me go. Funny thing was, I wasn’t sure I wanted her to. This was home.
“How are you holding up, son?” Dad asked, coming up next to me and Mom.
“Great,” I lied. Everything about this was hard. And I hadn’t even said goodbye to Sam yet.
My dad eyed me like he knew everything I was thinking. “You got an hour before we leave. You better go see Sam now and we’ll come pick you up when it’s time to go.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll leave my luggage at the door.”
“Where should I pick you up?”
A smile tipped my lips. “The tree.”
He nodded and held my mom as she wiped her tears. I couldn’t watch her cry anymore. I left and pulled out my phone to text Sam.
Me: Meet me at the tree.
There was something we had to do before I left.
It took some time, but I walked all the way to the legendary tree. Mom and Dad told me stories about it. The tree was supposed to be lucky, magical, and life changing. All the things I needed right now. And, it was the only thing I could think to do to make sure Sam knew she was mine.
