As they got settled, he sat forward in his chair and began to pray. “Heavenly Father, You have given us Your plan for marriage. It boggles my mind to think that Luke here, one of my most precious gifts from You, is ready to embark on that adventure now. You knew from the beginning of time that he and Madison would one day join their lives together as a couple. Please guide me tonight as I share some very special concepts with Luke about what it means to be a leader in his home.
“Help him to turn this next page of the book of his life with grace and humility, completely relying on You as his role model of sacrificial living. Prepare both Luke and Madison for the unknown future that awaits them—a future You have already visited and prepared for them.
“Give them patience with each other and themselves as they learn their new roles as husband and wife. And please give my son wisdom and strength and unconditional love. Help him to keep his eyes on You and to let You be his anchor through every storm that comes.
“And now, I ask for a special measure of your grace, as I share with Luke the things You have taught me about being a godly husband. Help me to be transparent and open with him as we talk man-to-man about the most important ministry he will ever have. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.”
“Amen,” Luke echoed.
“So are you feeling a little nervous about getting married? It’s a big step, son.”
Luke smiled broadly, his grin lighting up his eyes, too. “I’m actually really happy, Dad. Marrying Madison feels so right.”
Ben nodded, his heart lifting with his son’s contagious joy. “That’s exactly how you should feel. It blesses me to hear you say it.” He patted his chest at his heart. “So tonight we’re going to go over the role of a husband. I know a lot of what I’m going to share with you is stuff you already know. But I don’t want to leave any stone unturned in our premarital counseling, and I always like to have one session that is man-to-man with the groom.”
“Understood,” Luke replied, rubbing his palms on his jeans.
Ben recognized the gesture. He’d done it himself a million times—wiping the sweat off when he suddenly felt a little nervous. “So, I’m guessing it’s a bit awkward to have your dad doing your premarital counseling.”
“A little,” Luke admitted. “But here’s the thing, Dad. You’ve spent my whole life showing me what it means to lead a family, and what it looks like to be a godly husband—at least from what us kids could see. I figure I’ve already got an edge over the other grooms you counsel.”
Ben’s heart swelled, but he chuckled to keep things light. “I had to learn as I went, so I’m sure you can probably remember a slew of fumbles as well.”
Luke shrugged. “You’re human, Dad. Just like the rest of us. But you’re a great father, and I’m pretty sure Mom would give you a good rating as a husband.”
“Well, thanks for that, Luke.” Ben paused and allowed himself to feel the mantle of pastor being placed on his shoulder from above. “We’re going to talk about a number of things tonight—getting off to a good start from your first night together, to learning to listen to a woman’s heart, and to navigating the unexpected bumps in life’s path. In each of these areas, I’m going to challenge you to accept responsibility for not only setting the tone in your marriage, but also for being the compass that keeps pointing Madison back to God.”
Luke leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. “Okay. I’m ready.”
As Ben began sharing the importance of sensitivity and reading a woman’s signals on their honeymoon, his anxiety evaporated and he found himself feeling great respect for the young man he was counseling. Luke didn’t pull any immature stunts of making jokes or feigning embarrassment of delicate matters in a marriage. Instead, he listened attentively, asked questions that showed his deep love and concern for Madison’s needs, and willingly shared his fears about Madison’s past relationship with Miles infecting their times of intimacy.
By the end of the evening, they had covered a myriad of topics including ways of expressing respect, being a good listener, understanding the natural ebb and flow of relationships, and leading from a place of God’s strength and personal humility. They examined the passage on love in 1 Corinthians 13 from the perspective of a man’s role as husband and father, and Ben emphasized the importance of love being a commitment and an action verb.
“The world would have you view it as a feeling, Luke. And that is why so many marriages fail,” Ben explained. “These days people are relying on feelings over faith.”
Luke nodded.
“Right now, your feelings for Madison are strong and powerful. But those feelings are not your compass. As the years unfold, you will find yourself sometimes experiencing lulls in those feelings. That’s natural. It happens in all long-lasting marriages.”
Luke leaned in, showing he was listening carefully.
“Here’s the thing, Luke. When you remain steadfast to loving Madison, no matter what you feel or don’t feel, you’ll find that those powerful feelings of love, that you thought had slipped away, keep coming back. And each time they do, they’ll be deeper and more profound than they were before. You’ll have more layers of history together. Good times and bad, which you’ve weathered as a couple. Things about each other that only the two of you know. And a deeper and deeper understanding of why God put the two of you together.” Ben paused to let that sink in.
“Like you and Mom,” Luke observed.
“Yep.”
“Just so you know, we can see it, Dad. All of us kids do. We see that deep love and respect you guys have for each other.”
Ben let that blessing wash over him. “Thanks for telling me that. Your mom’s a special woman. I wouldn’t be who I am without her in my life.”
“I’m sure she feels the same,” Luke replied. “So any other advice on how to keep the spark in a lifelong relationship?” he asked.
“Don’t forget about having fun together. Keep dating and surprising her with adventures and gifts. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, especially after you start a family. There are bills to pay, a home to maintain, and kids to raise. But Madison is always your first priority after God. She needs to know that you still treasure her when she doesn’t have a twenty-two year old face and body. That she’s still your bride to the very end.”
Luke nodded. “She will be, Dad. I promise.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Madison sat across from Taylor in the counseling office. She’d had a nightmare the night before about Luke breaking their engagement, so she knew she still had some issues to resolve.
“Do you think I’ll ever be able to forget my past and feel worthy of Luke’s love?” she asked Taylor.
“I don’t think forgetting the past is the answer,” Taylor replied. “I think you’ve learned some things from the past that are really valuable, Madison. On the other hand, I do believe that you will come to terms with your past, learn to forgive yourself, and allow yourself to be loved by Luke.”
“How do I do that?” she asked.
“Let me ask you something. Tell me about your prayers. I mean, what is the typical content of your conversation with God?”
Madison hesitated, searching her mind for an accurate description. “I guess it’s mostly a combination of thanking God and asking Him to watch over people I care about.” She looked up at Taylor, who was nodding.
“When you first came to see me again, you talked about not feeling good enough for Luke.”
“Right. I mean he’s such a great guy and he saved himself for marriage. I sort of feel like I’m ripping him off by the fact that I was with Miles in high school.”
Taylor’s face was full of compassion. “I’m going to propose something to you, Madison, that may sound very counterintuitive at first.”
Madison sat forward. “Okay, I’m listening.”
“As you know, God’s ways are not our ways. Secular psychology would focus on the good within you and make statements
of affirmation to build your self-esteem. But that’s not God’s way.”
Madison nodded. “I’ve actually tried that,” she admitted. “But I still feel the same.”
Taylor tipped her head to the side and smiled empathetically. “So, I’m going to suggest you actually quit trying to fight this feeling and give yourself a chance to own it before God.”
Madison felt confused, but something inside nudged her forward. “Okay. How do I do that?”
“You do that through the biblical practices of humbling yourself and confessing. You didn’t mention that, so I’m guessing that’s not a regular part of your prayer life, right?”
Madison cringed a little. “Right. I guess it just scares me too much. Like if I really let myself be totally open with God about what a mess I’ve made of my past, He’ll turn away from me.” Her voice began to shake as the tears welled up. “I mean, I knew better. It’s not like I wasn’t raised in a Christian home. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But I did it anyway. And now I have to live with the consequences of feeling like I’ll never be good enough for Luke or anyone else.” She tried to hold back the tears, but she finally gave in.
Taylor reached over and placed her hand on Madison’s, allowing the emotions to take their course.
After the storm, Taylor spoke. “There’s a lot of fear inside of you, Madison. God wants to set you free.”
Madison nodded.
“Here’s the unexpected truth of confession. What we think will be the undoing of our last sense of self-worth, actually becomes the key to open the prison of our self-condemnation. I know this because I have experienced it first hand.”
“You have?”
“Yep.” Taylor’s smile moved to her eyes as she recounted the day she’d realized she was running from the one thing that could set her free. “I can still remember sitting in my rocking chair feeling very unloved and unlovable. I thought about all the mistakes I’d made in relationships. The words I’d said that I shouldn’t have. And the ones I should have said that I didn’t.”
Madison cracked a smile of her own. “I certainly get that,” she admitted.
“Finally, I just started praying and told God what a wretched sinner I was.”
Madison sat on the edge of her seat. “And?”
“And this amazing peace washed over me as I realized that God was still there, still loving me, still wanting me as His daughter and as the bride of Christ.” She looked Madison in the eye. “It was the first time I really completely grasped the cross and what it meant for me.”
Madison nodded.
“And I realized that God wasn’t expecting me to drum up my own righteousness to be worthy of Him and His love. He’d already purchased my white robes of righteousness Himself, but I’d been refusing to wear them.”
“Wow.” Madison had never considered that confession could hold such freedom.
“Here’s my assignment for you this week,” Taylor said. “I want you to get alone with God somewhere and be completely open and transparent with Him about your sins. You know He already knows them, but speak your pain and regret with complete humility.”
“Okay, I’ll try,” Madison replied.
“And then I want you to close your eyes and imagine God scrubbing out all the dark stains of sin within you. Picture a white robe of righteousness—a beautiful, sparkling gown made just for you—that you slip into.” And here is a scripture for you to meditate on all week. She handed Madison a slip of paper.
I ______________________ delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest and as a bride adorns herself with jewels. ~ Isaiah 61:10.
“Write your name on that blank line. And then read that scripture aloud to yourself every day, imagining that robe of righteousness that only He can give you. It’s a free gift, Madison, but you can’t wear it as long as you are trying to be righteous on your own strength. Let Him do it through you as you openly confess.” She studied Madison’s face. “Don’t be afraid. He’s going to finish the good work He began in you. I promise.”
“Okay. I’ll do it,” Maddie replied with a nod of affirmation.
Caleb turned onto Fourth Street. This time he was alone. No Logan to put any damper on what he was about to do. Peering out his side window as he approached Adam’s house, he nearly clipped the open door of a car parked at the curb on his right. He wouldn’t have known, except the man in the driver’s seat honked his horn and flashed an obscene gesture.
Adrenaline surged through Caleb’s body as he drove away. No way was he going to stop and risk an altercation with that man. He’d have to come back another time.
Steve cradled the phone to his ear as he rifled through the papers on his desk to find a notepad. I’ve gotta get this mess straightened out, he thought to himself as he waited for Jeff Jontry to pick up the other line. Jeff and Steve were in a men’s group at church. The five of them met for breakfast on Wednesday mornings, sharing prayer requests and supporting each other in their walks of faith.
Jeff worked as a detective at the Sandy Cove Police Department. A few years older than Steve, his kids were all grown and married, and he had his first grandchild on the way. As a police officer in their community for the past thirty years, Jeff knew many of the locals, especially those who had had brushes with the law. Steve hoped to find out what Jeff might be able to tell him about Adam Wilson. Was he still living in Sandy Cove? Did he have a criminal record?
Between Michelle’s midnight worrying and Steve’s undercurrent of concern, he felt that he needed to do something before Caleb got himself in over his head.
“Steve,” Jeff’s voice greeted him. “What’s up?”
“I’m trying to get some information about someone,” Steve replied. “I was hoping you might be able to help.”
“Sure, buddy. Happy to help if I can. What kind of information are you looking for? And who’s the someone?”
“You knew that Caleb was adopted, right?” Steve asked.
“Uh, yeah. Now that you mention it, I remember you saying something about that. Is everything okay with him?”
“Yes and no. He’s got it in his head to find his biological father.”
“Oh. And that’s the someone we’re talking about here, I assume,” Jeff said.
“Yeah.”
“So what do you know about this guy?” he asked Steve.
“I know his name—Adam Wilson—and his approximate age—about thirty three—and that he used to live in Sandy Cove on Fourth Street.”
“That’s quite a bit, actually. Where’d you get all that information?”
“Caleb’s biological mother. We’ve stayed in touch with her over the years. It was an open adoption.”
“But the father’s been out of the loop?”
“Yeah. He never even saw Caleb after he was born. He bailed on the biological mother as soon as he found out she was pregnant.”
“Figures,” Jeff replied, his voice tinged with cynicism. “So, how can I help you?”
“I’d like to find out if he’s still in the area and if he’s got a criminal record,” Steve replied.
“Let me ask around and see what I can come up with. Because of the tightening of regulations, I can’t run a formal search without cause. But I can drop his name to some of the guys here and see what responses I get. In the meantime, why don’t you run a criminal check on him through one of the employers’ search sites? I’m not sure how much information they require up front, but you could give it a try,” he suggested.
“Good idea. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself,” Steve replied, mentally kicking himself.
“I’m guessing you don’t do much hiring over there,” Jeff said.
“Nope. We’ve kept the same office manager and paralegal for twenty years. I don’t think they had those employer background checks back then.”
“Right. So I’l
l poke around here, and you see what you can find online. Then let’s talk tomorrow after the breakfast. In the meantime, I’ll be praying for your situation with Caleb.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate that,” Steve replied.
That evening as they were doing the dishes together, Steve told Michelle about his conversation with Jeff.
“What the heck?” Caleb asked angrily as he burst into the room.
“Whoa there, bud. Lower your voice,” Steve said, trying to remain composed on the heels of his son’s unexpected entrance.
“Why are you butting into this?” Caleb demanded, his face red with anger.
“I’m just trying to protect you,” Steve replied, feeling his defenses rising along with his voice.
“From what? You think Adam’s some kind of serial killer or something?”
“I have no idea what or who Adam Wilson is at this point, Caleb, and neither do you.”
“I wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for him,” Caleb lashed back.
Steve took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and give a rational reply. But before he could say anything, Caleb stormed out of the room, throwing a threat over his shoulder. “I’m going to do this, Dad. So accept it. And back off.”
Glancing over at Michelle, his eyes met hers. “I’ve got a really bad feeling about this,” he said.
“Me, too,” she replied softly.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
With heads bowed, Steve, Jeff, and the three other men in their group, prayed for the requests they’d shared throughout their breakfast. After their amens, three of them stood to leave. “We’re hanging back for a few minutes,” Jeff explained as the others waited for them to walk out to the parking lot together.
Once they were alone, Steve asked, “So did you find out anything?” His insides twisted a little as he considered the altercation with Caleb the night before. In one way he felt that he was betraying his son’s trust, but on the flip side, he was determined to protect him.
Above All Else (Sandy Cove Series Book 7) Page 11
