“So she was all he ever knew,” Caleb said. “Too bad.” Then he looked Erick squarely in the eye. “How do you do it?” he asked. “I mean doesn’t all this get to you after a while?”
Erick nodded. “Sometimes. But there are some really good days here, too. Like tomorrow, for instance. One of the little girls in Chen’s group is going home to her ‘forever family’ tomorrow afternoon. They’ve been working on her adoption for quite some time and have visited her on several trips from the states, so she knows them, and as much as a preschooler can understand, she knows they will be her family soon.”
Caleb nodded. “How long has she been here?”
“Two years, right?” Luke asked.
“Uh huh. She was a baby when we got her. Just barely walking,” Erick replied.
“So tomorrow they just come and pick her up, and that’s it?” Caleb asked.
“Actually we will be having a big celebration. There will be banners and balloons, songs and games, and lots of hugs and photos with all of us as well as with her new parents and big sister,” Erick replied.
“It’s sort of like a birthday party,” Luke explained. “It’s the beginning of her new life, and we all want to celebrate with her.”
Caleb nodded. “Cool,” he said. Doubt if there was a big celebration when I was adopted.
As they were walking through the courtyard a few minutes later, Caleb spotted an older boy bouncing a basketball over by a hoop. He was all alone and looked really down.
Erick broke into Caleb’s thoughts. “That’s Tan. He’s had a rough week.”
“No luck, huh?” Luke asked.
Erick shook his head. “His birthday was yesterday.”
“Tan just turned fourteen, Caleb,” Luke explained. “Chinese adoption policy states that he is no longer eligible for adoption.”
“What?” Caleb asked. “You mean he can never get out of here?”
“Nope,” Erick replied. “He’s a great kid, too. It’s a real shame. He’s been here for seven years. But finding homes for the older kids is more difficult, and we’ve had plenty of youngsters under five that are available, so most couples gravitate to them.”
“Does he have any friends here?” Caleb asked. “I mean anyone else who’s too old to be adopted?”
“There’s another boy with Downs Syndrome. But they don’t spend much time together because he prefers the younger boys who are more at his developmental level,” Erick explained. “He had a younger sister here, but she was adopted last year. His best buddy was a couple of years younger than Tan, but he was adopted two months ago.”
“Wow. That’s a bummer,” Caleb replied.
“Why don’t you go shoot some hoops with him, Caleb,” Luke suggested. “He could use a friend right about now.”
Although he felt awkward, Caleb nodded and walked over to the boy. “Hi,” he said, lifting his hand in greeting. “Wanna shoot hoops together?”
It was clear that Tan didn’t know much English. Caleb gestured to the ball and then to himself and Tan, throwing an imaginary ball toward the hoop.
Tan’s face lit up a bit, and he nodded. Bouncing the ball toward Caleb, the two boys began interacting through the game.
“We’ll be in the infirmary,” Erick called out to Caleb. “Take your time.”
Caleb waved without taking his eye off of Tan or the ball. “See you in a while.”
Tan was quite a good shooter, and Caleb had a great time on the court with him. By the time they wrapped up their game for lunch, Tan was relaxed and smiling. Although they couldn’t communicate much through words, Caleb could see that Tan was thankful for their time together.
That evening, after Chen was settled for the night, Caleb turned to Luke and said, “Don’t you wonder where God is sometimes? I mean, look at all these kids here. None of them have families. It doesn’t seem right. Sure some of them may get adopted, but they’ll never know their real parents.” He paused and then added, “And Tan—he seems like such a nice guy. What will happen to him?”
“He’ll stay here through school. Then Erick, or whoever is running the orphanage at that time, will try to help him find a job. But he’ll basically be on his own from about your age on. He won’t have a family to turn to when he needs something. No holiday gatherings or anything like that.”
Caleb shook his head. “It’s a rotten deal.”
Luke put his hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “It would be great if we could place all of them. But sometimes it doesn’t work out.”
Caleb nodded and sank into a chair. “You know something, Luke? I wish, in a way, that I’d never even found out I was adopted. It’s messed with my mind lately—all the stuff about Adam.”
Luke, who was now sitting across the table from him, leaned in. “I can imagine. The other day, I was wondering what I would think and feel if I found out my parents had adopted me. I honestly tried to put myself in your shoes, and I think I probably would have done the same thing you did—I mean trying to find Adam. I’d definitely be curious about what my biological parents were like.”
“So you get it?” Caleb asked.
“I think so,” Luke replied. “I mean, I think everybody pretty much gets it, Caleb. It’s just that none of us, especially your parents, want you to get hurt.” He paused and seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “I know you already know this, but there’s a lot more to being a dad than…well…”
“Than getting someone pregnant?” Caleb said.
“Yeah,” Luke said. “Just look at Steve or at my dad. They’ve invested their lives in us. I’m talking about a lot more than money here. I’ve seen my father wrestle in prayer late at night for one of us. Or attend countless games even when he’s totally exhausted. I’m sure you have, too.”
Caleb hesitated and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Being a real dad is a lifelong commitment, one that I’m trying to wrap my head around, now that Madison and I are expecting. Sometimes it scares me a little,” he admitted.
“Really? You? I think you’ll be a great dad. You’ve had plenty of experience with kids,” Caleb said, clearly alluding to all of Luke’s younger siblings. “Besides, you and Madison are ready.”
“I’m not sure anyone’s ever completely ready,” Luke replied. “But the thing is that no one has or is the perfect dad, Caleb. As much as any of us try, we’re all going to fail at times along the way.”
Caleb nodded. “Some more than others,” he muttered. Then he flashed for a moment on Tan and felt a little bad. Still, even though his dad had given him a home, he’d also made it pretty uncomfortable living there sometimes.
“Caleb, you need to cut your dad some slack,” Luke said. “He loves you, and he’s doing the best he can.”
“Right.”
“You don’t think so?” Luke asked.
“I think he used to,” Caleb replied, thinking back to his childhood and all the good times he and his dad had shared. “But now, I’m not so sure.”
“Why do you say that?”
Caleb stared at the floor. “Because he’s changed.”
Luke paused and then replied, “Ever thought about the possibility that you may have changed, too?”
Looking up, Caleb locked eyes with him. “How do you mean?”
“I mean in the way you treat him,” Luke replied, “and in some of the choices you’ve made.”
Caleb shrugged, feeling defensive. “Like what?”
“Like school stuff, the tickets, tracking down Adam,” Luke replied. “You’ve gotta know that’s all been on your dad’s mind.”
“I guess.” Caleb could feel himself pulling back a little.
As if sensing his withdrawal, Luke said, “Part of that’s normal stuff, bro. I mean I had my share of bad choices in high school. And my dad blew his stack a few times, too.”
Caleb tried to picture it but he wasn’t convinced. There was a definite difference between him and Luke. “At least you knew he was your real father.”
Luke paused. “In the physical sense, yes. But truthfully, the way I see it, Caleb, the main question all of us need to keep asking ourselves, whether we are adopted or live with our biological parents or like Tan, who will never have parents, is this—who’s our real Father?”
Caleb studied his face. What was he talking about?
“Your dad’s not perfect. Neither is mine. But we both know we have a heavenly Father who is. You might look around here and think that God’s missing in this picture at Children’s Garden. And in a way, I get that. It’s a bummer these kids were separated from their families. But trust me, Caleb, God’s doing some amazing things in their lives.”
“Like?”
“Like putting them into new families that will give them opportunities they never would have had, as well as a chance to know God personally.”
“And Tan?” Caleb asked.
“I don’t know what God will do for Tan, Caleb. None of us do. But we’re called to live by faith and to stand on God’s promises and trust in His character. Whatever His plan is for Tan, I believe it will be a good one, and that someday Tan’s testimony will include the love and care he was shown here at Children’s Garden.”
Caleb nodded. He could see Luke’s point. Even in his own life, he knew deep down inside that his mom and dad had given him a life that Adam and Amber never could have. Growing up, he’d believed that God had a part in that. But lately, with all the hassles from his dad and the rejection from Adam, it seemed like God wasn’t even around.
As he thought about all of it, Caleb’s eyes began to fill. He yearned to be close to God again and to put aside his animosity toward his dad. But how? It seemed like at every turn he made the wrong move. And now that Adam was part of his life, would things ever be the same?
Fighting back his emotions, he turned away and stood up. Then clearing his throat, he said, “Thanks for the talk, Luke. Think I’ll go to bed.”
That night, Caleb dreamed about his dad. A smattering of images from his childhood were woven through the dream. In each scene his dad moved further away from him. Or was it Caleb moving away from him? Tossing and turning, he slept fitfully. In one scene, he found himself as a little boy alone in a room. A man came in and said someone was there to take him home. In walked Adam. He grabbed Caleb and pulled him out the door.
Caleb awoke in a sweat. It was still dark outside, but he slipped out of bed, pulled on his jeans and a sweatshirt, and left the residence. He found a bench in the hallway that led to the recreation room and sat down to get his bearings. Anxiety, confusion, and a sense of desperation gripped him.
In the quiet of the hallway, with his heart pounding in his chest, he began to pray, begging God to calm the storm that was raging inside. As he prayed, the images of his dream and the sad face of Tan kept replaying in his mind, and he found himself yearning for hope and for his dad—the man who had invested a lifetime raising him. Will it ever be right again between us? he wondered.
As he poured himself out in prayer, he began to sense something he’d missed for a long time—the very real presence of God. It was something he’d always felt as a child but had lost somehow this year. Then a verse from scripture popped into his mind.
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Tears fell as Caleb yielded to the love of his heavenly Father. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but eventually a peace settled over him. Then Caleb’s prayers shifted from himself to his dad as he asked God to somehow rebuild the bridge between them. And he prayed for Adam—that one day he would know the love of God as well.
Finally, Caleb pled for Tan, someone he’d only known for one day, but whose life had permanently affected Caleb’s perspective. As he interceded for the teen, a voice spoke into his spirit—I have a plan for you. A plan to impact lives like Tan’s. And in that moment, Caleb realized that his trip to China was just the beginning of a life’s call. Although he didn’t know all the details, he knew he would never be the same.
As the sun began to rise, Caleb snuck back into the residence and stretched out on his bed, slipping into a deep and dreamless sleep.
The next morning, he awoke to the sound of Chen playing and chattering with Luke, who was trying to shush him. “Shhh…Caleb is sleeping,” his brother-in-law said in a whisper.
Sitting up, Caleb said, “It’s okay, Luke. I’m awake.”
After he greeted little Chen, Caleb locked eyes with Luke for a minute.
“What?” Luke asked with a nervous smile.
“Thanks,” he began. “Thanks for bringing me here.”
“Sure. Thanks for coming.” Luke replied.
Then watching Luke get Chen ready for breakfast, Caleb noticed the tenderness in his brother-in-law. He was going to make a great dad. “You’re a pretty cool brother, you know that?” he said, relaxing into a smile. “I’m glad Maddie chose you and not some jerk.”
Laughing, Luke replied, “Thanks. Me, too.”
The adoption celebration went well the following day, and little Sun Li was exhausted but smiling as her new parents led her out of the dining hall to leave Children’s Garden behind and begin her new life. “Tomorrow, Chen’s aunt and uncle will be here in the morning,” Erick said. “Perhaps we’ll be planning another celebration soon.”
Luke nodded.
As if on cue, Chen piped up, “Chen with Mr. Luke. Yes?”
Wisely, Luke turned the question to the immediate, replying, “Yes, Chen, tonight you stay with me and Caleb.” Then, taking the boy’s hand, he led him back to the residence.
After breakfast the next morning, Cami and Kai Thâm showed up at Erick’s office, ready to meet Chen, with a wrapped gift in Cami’s hand for the boy. Luke was waiting with Erick, and after the introductions went full circle, he said, “I’ll go get Chen. He’s playing in the recreation room with Caleb.”
As he walked the boy back to the office, he reminded Chen of their conversation earlier that morning. “Your aunt and uncle are excited to meet you,” he said, hoping his voice sounded upbeat and would put Chen’s mind at ease.
“Mr. Luke stay with Chen,” the boy replied adamantly, squeezing Luke’s hand tightly.
“Yes, I will stay,” Luke replied, glancing over at Caleb, who’s face mirrored the worry Luke felt in his heart.
The initial introductions found Chen staring at his feet. “Can you say ‘hello’ to your visitors, Chen?” Erick asked.
Without a glance, Chen muttered, “Hello,” but kept a death grip on Luke.
“Luke and Caleb are going to sit right over there,” Erick said, pointing to a bench along the wall, “while we get to know your aunt and uncle.”
Chen looked in the direction Erick was pointing, and then up at Luke.
“It’s okay, Chen. I’m not leaving,” Luke reassured the boy.
Reluctantly, Chen released his hand, and Luke and Caleb walked over and sat down.
“We are so happy to meet you,” Cami said with a smile. Luke could see that she was nervous, and her husband seemed a bit guarded. “Would you like to come over and sit with us?” she asked, gesturing to the chairs that had been set up in a circle.
Chen obediently walked over and sat down between Erick and Cami. He seemed a bit scared of Kai.
As Cami tried to engage Chen in conversation, he limited his answers to one-word responses. Kai crossed his arms and sat back in his chair with a skeptical expression on his face. Cami glanced over and silently pled with her eyes, but Kai remained stiff as a statue.
“Would you like to show us around where you live and play, Chen?” Cami asked.
Chen looked at Luke. “Mr. Luke come?” he asked.
Luke glanced at Erick, who said, “Mr. Luke has some work to do. I’ll go with you,” he offered.
“No Mr. Luke, no Chen,” the boy replied firmly.
Luke took a deep breath and was about to say something when Cami changed the subject. “Would you like to see what we brought you?” she asked, indicating the wrapped package.
Chen looked at Luke for approval and then nodded.
“Here. Open it,” Cami said, handing him the small box.
Chen carefully unwrapped it and removed the lid. Then he lifted out a little statue.
“Do you know who that is?” Cami asked.
He shook his head.
“That is Buddha,” she replied. “Do you see his big belly?”
Chen nodded.
“You can rub that for good luck,” she instructed with a smile as she leaned over and demonstrated.
Chen stood and carried the statue to Luke, extending his hand to show it to him.
Luke looked in the boy’s eyes. He was clearly looking for Luke’s approval. What do I say, Lord? How do I show respect here without sending the wrong message? Clearly Cami and Kai were not Christians. Their intention would be to raise Chen in the faith of so many Chinese—Buddhism.
“It was very nice of your aunt and uncle to bring you a gift, Chen,” Luke said. He gave the boy a warm smile.
“Buddha is very special to us,” Kai interjected firmly. “We can teach you about him and how to pray to him, Chen.”
Now Chen looked very confused. Luke wanted to sweep him into his arms and carry him out of the room. He glanced over at Erick, who cleared his throat and said, “How about if we get on with showing Miss Cami and Mr. Kai around Children’s Garden?” he asked Chen.
“Here,” Cami said, handing Chen the box. “You can keep him in here for now.”
Chen dutifully placed the Buddha statue back into the box.
“We’ll be coming back here,” Erick said. “You can leave the box on the table.”
As they stood, Cami rested her hand on Chen’s shoulder. The boy jerked away a bit and took Erick’s hand, looking forlornly over his shoulder at Luke as they walked out of the room.
Once they were gone, Caleb turned to Luke. “A Buddha? Really?”
“It’s understandable,” Luke replied. “And Buddhism was likely the religion of Chen’s biological parents,” he added.
Caleb shook his head. “No way can you let that little guy grow up thinking that rubbing that statue’s belly or praying to it will bring him answers.”
Above All Else (Sandy Cove Series Book 7) Page 25
