I nod because it’s easier to go with that reason than to tell him the truth. “Yeah. It shouldn’t be. But it is.”
I feel the heat of his gaze, wondering what’s on his mind.
“Truce?” he asks.
Again, he surprises me.
“What do you say we forget about the past? We let it all go. What happened between us … it’s old news.”
Part of me is relieved to know that he’s willing to forget it. I know I owe him an explanation, but I can’t bring myself to tell him. I don’t want him to hate me, but if I tell him that the reason I broke up with him was because I ended up meeting someone else, someone I thought would have more time for me, I know he’ll hate me. I’ll deserve it, too.
“Truce,” I agree. “From here on out, we’ll keep this professional.”
“Agreed.” A smile curls the corners of his mouth, but I can tell it’s forced.
I watch as his eyes slide over to follow Noelle across the room. The interest reflected in his smoldering brown eyes is nearly blinding. Although I dated this man for years, I’m not sure I ever saw him look at me the way he’s looking at her.
“I’m going to the benefit dinner with Colton,” I announce.
Spencer’s gaze snaps back to me. “That’s … uh … good.”
And safe. It’s the very reason I asked the man to be my date. We’re kindred spirits, Colton and I. He’s got a huge secret, as do I. He might not openly admit it, but I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s gay. No, I don’t have some finely tuned gaydar, but I did see him the other night, after the first game of the season. Phoenix introduced a group of men to some of the players, and I was front and center when Colton recognized one of them. The look on his face was priceless. He looked at that man in such a way that reflected so much emotion… Sort of the way Spencer is looking at Noelle right now.
Not that Colton’s personal life is any of my business, but it does make me feel safe.
Plus, he’s funny and smart and … I like him. As a friend. I don’t have to fear him.
“I just wanted you to know. We’re going as friends. But if it’s weird…”
Spencer shakes his head. “It’s not weird, actually.”
I’m pretty sure that’s relief in his eyes. I don’t detect an ounce of jealousy. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but it’s only my ego talking. I don’t want Spencer to be jealous. In fact, I really would like if we could be friends. Even if only on a professional level.
People might think that rekindled romance is … well, romantic. But, in truth, it’s not always the case. And I’m honestly relieved to know that Spencer and I are on the same page.
Right now, I need all the friends I can get. If I know Will, he is going to come for me. And when he does, I can only hope he doesn’t follow through with his threat.
Noelle
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT came over me or why I agreed to go to the benefit dinner with Spencer, but I did it and now I can’t back out. Part of me is flattered because I know he can have any woman he wants. In fact, he could probably snap his fingers and half the single women in the restaurant right now would jump. Maybe a couple of the married ones, even.
But he picked me.
Not that I’m going to read anything into that.
As I watch him talking to his ex, it feels a little strange. Not because I’m jealous. I’m not. Really.
Sure, I’ve thought about the night we shared far more times than I should have, but I also convinced myself that it shouldn’t have happened. He was emotional that night. Winning the game, dealing with Kingston announcing he was dating his sister, dealing with Amber after she’d been gone for so many years… I was convenient. And willing.
Granted, I know he’s been avoiding me for that very reason, and the last thing I want to do is to invite any discomfiture between us. I spend way too much time with Spencer’s sister to have things be weird.
Even when I saw him come in a few minutes ago, I managed not to react. Well, aside from the foreign tingle that ignited in my gut, but up till now, I’ve managed to ignore it. Mostly.
“Could we get a couple more drinks over here?”
I glance over at the table near the wall and smile at the couple. “Absolutely. Give me just a sec.”
Needing something to do, I scurry back to the bar and advise my sister that I need two more drinks. I’m a pro at dispensing beer and wine, but when it comes to mixed drinks, I steer clear. Don’t get me wrong. I tried to learn. But after the tenth time someone grimaced when they took a sip, I took it as a sign that I’m not cut out for that.
While I wait for her to produce them, I steal a glance at Spencer and Amber. They’ve taken a seat at a table near the front. I can’t see Amber’s face, but I can see Spencer’s, and he looks incredibly uncomfortable.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Ellie asks, bumping my shoulder as she comes to stand beside me.
I’m embarrassed that she’s caught me, so I come up with something on the fly. “Your brother’s meeting with Amber.”
“Ah. Yeah. He told me about that. It’s a business meeting.” She doesn’t seem fazed by it at all. I know Ellie well enough that if she thought it was a bad thing, she would’ve said something.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing, either. I’m merely curious as to why Spencer spent the night with me last weekend and proceeded to act as though it never happened. I mean, I’m not hoping he’ll profess his undying love for me or anything. I’m not delusional. But an acknowledgment wouldn’t be too much to ask, I don’t think.
If I’m being honest, I think it has to do with Amber and her reappearance in his life. He seems different, which is probably due to her being back. I’ve even wondered if he was thinking about her when we were together.
Except I can still remember that eerie electrical charge between us. I’ve never felt that before, and definitely not with Spencer. I keep telling myself it was purely physical. I’m not the type to fall in lust with anyone, let alone someone who’s been a huge part of my life.
Even acknowledging that, though, I can’t deny that something happened between us.
The question is … what am I supposed to do about it? If I purposely push him away, I could risk missing out on something that might be there. Then again, if I sit around waiting, I could miss out on the man the universe is going to bring me. And yes, I fully believe the universe is going to come through for me.
There’s a knocking sound behind me, and I glance over to see Julie passing over the drinks I ordered.
“Thanks.”
It takes only a few minutes for me to deliver them and check to see if they need anything else, but then I’m left with nothing to do except check on the guests, make sure they don’t need anything. It only seems fitting that Amber and Spencer are sitting at a table in my section. I have no choice but to go over there.
“Sorry to interrupt,” I say cheerfully, adding a megawatt smile. “Y’all need anything?”
“Can I get another Coke?” Spencer asks.
When his eyes lock with mine, I inhale sharply. That same electrical spark zaps me right in the chest.
“Sure.” I turn to Amber. “You?”
“I’m good, thanks.” She glances back to Spencer, then up to me again, curiosity burning in her sparkling green eyes.
I hate that she’s so pretty. I hate more that I hate that fact. I’ve never been catty. I’m known for being friends with everyone. Hostility is not in my nature.
Realizing I’m staring, I force my feet to move, spinning around and heading back to the bar. I grab Spencer’s Coke, then ask Julie to deliver it. I need a few minutes to compose myself. For the first time ever, I glance at the clock on the wall, counting down the minutes until I can make my escape.
I really am okay with the fact that Spencer and I shared a night together. I’m okay that we haven�
�t talked since. I was prepared going in and I have zero expectations when it comes to the man.
Oh. Something else that’s not in my nature…
Lying to myself.
15
Spencer
I FEEL CLUMSY TONIGHT FOR some godforsaken reason. After the first period ended, I had the equipment manager sharpen my skates, hoping like hell it’s not a mental thing. I changed out my gloves twice during the period, something I’m not prone to doing more than once, typically.
We’re holding our own, but not because of me. I can’t seem to find my groove, which pisses me off.
I was fine until I noticed my sister in the stands. Her regular seats are high enough up that I can’t point her out, but tonight she’s at ice level, directly behind Kingston. My niece and my niece’s friend are with her. The only reason I noticed is because Noelle wasn’t sitting with her. That’s not unusual. Noelle doesn’t come to many games. But that doesn’t change the fact that I had hoped she was sitting there, and I’ve looked more than once, as though I can make her appear simply because I want her to be there.
“Let’s go,” Coach calls and I push to my feet, praying like hell I can get my shit together.
Something’s got to give.
The night didn’t get better. In fact, it sucks bull balls. As I pull my clothes on, I’m so pissed I can hardly see straight. I was relatively complacent during the after-game interview, but I wanted to bash in a few heads. I should go home and work off my mad by doing something constructive. This isn’t a first for me. We lose games all the damn time. Sure, I let it get to me, but I’m not sure who doesn’t. I want to win; that’s why I do what I do. There’s no way to win them all; I know that.
I don’t want to go home, but I don’t want to go out. I’m prone to getting into trouble on nights like this. When I’m fueled by disappointment and self-loathing. As I head down the hall that leads to the parking lot, I see Amber. She’s walking alone, just a few feet ahead of me.
I jog to catch up with her, hoping she won’t think I’m a total lame ass.
“You wanna go get a drink?” I ask.
Her eyes widen.
“As friends,” I add because she looks leery of my intentions.
“Uh … sure.”
“There’s a bar right up the road. You want to follow me?”
“Okay.”
Ten minutes later, I’m sitting at a table with Amber. I purposely opted not to go to the Penalty Box. I tend not to go there on nights we lose. It’s not fair to my sister to bring my bad attitude into her restaurant. And I get the feeling that seeing Noelle and not being able to have her is only going to make things worse. Not for the first time, I wish Amber was Noelle. But she’s not and I invited her here, so I owe it to her to be friendly.
“What’s bothering you?” Amber asks, her tone ringing with sincerity. “And I’m not talking about the game. That’s a given. You have a right to be upset about that, but this is something else.”
I shake my head and sip my beer. I don’t know how to explain it to her. If there’s anyone I can talk to about Noelle, it’s Amber. If anything, it’ll test our theory that we can actually be friends.
“I’m not trying to pry,” she says softly, lifting her wine glass. “Honestly. It’s just … if you need to talk, I’m pretty good at listening.”
I observe her for a moment. This woman who was so much a part of my past. I don’t feel anything for her. Not like I used to. Could we really be friends? I know I’m not faking it, but I’m not sure if she is. I’d be an ass to rub another woman in her face if Amber is trying to play me. Except I don’t get that vibe from her.
I decide to test my theory.
“It’s Noelle,” I divulge.
Her expression says that makes total sense. “Have you been dating her long?”
I smile. It’s inevitable. The question is ridiculous for those who know me. Of course, Amber doesn’t know me, so she has no clue that I don’t date.
“I wouldn’t call it dating,” I tell her honestly. “It’s … complicated.”
“Sex isn’t complicated.” Now she’s smiling, genuinely amused by me.
For some reason, that eases some of the tension in my shoulders.
“It can be. With her it is.” I glance down at my beer. “I haven’t dated anyone in a long time.”
“How long?”
“Seventeen years.” I look up at her, wanting to see her reaction to that.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m no saint,” I admit. “I damn sure haven’t been celibate in all that time. I simply don’t date in the traditional sense.”
“You don’t have to explain. I get it. But something’s different with Noelle?”
I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t know. She’s … unexpected.”
“Does your sister know?”
“No, and Noelle doesn’t want her to find out. It’s not serious or anything like that. It’s…”
“Complicated,” Amber fills in with a chuckle. “Got it.”
I snort. “Hell, I haven’t talked to Noelle about anything. We … uh … had sex and… Well, I’m an asshole. Let’s leave it at that.”
“I doubt Noelle thinks you’re an asshole. She doesn’t seem like the type to get involved with assholes.”
“No, she doesn’t.”
“Did you take advantage of her?”
I study her face, trying to see if she’s digging for something specific. She looks sincere and curious, so I shake my head. “No. It was mutual.”
“You’ve known her for a long time.” It isn’t a question.
“She’s my sister’s best friend.” Amber knows that. Noelle was front and center in my family’s world back when I was dating Amber.
“And this is new? It hasn’t happened before?”
“Never.”
“Do you want more than what you’re getting from her?”
“No. Yes. Fuck.” I thrust my hand through my hair. “I don’t fucking know.”
“Then don’t push it, Spencer.” Amber leans forward. “Take your time with her. If something’s meant to be, it will happen. You can’t force these things. You can’t make yourself want something more if it’s not meant to be. And vice versa.”
She’s right. I know she is. And I think this helped. I needed someone to talk to about the mess I’ve made for myself. I could probably talk this out with Kingston, but he’s too close to Noelle. I don’t want my sister finding out, either. Noelle’s right about that. We need to keep this to ourselves. At least until we know what’s happening. Where, if anywhere, this is going. Ellie will threaten me within an inch of my life, and right now, that’s not what I need to hear.
Amber’s phone buzzes and she picks it up. I watch her while she reads the screen, her eyes widening. Something protective rears up inside me when I see her face pale, all the color draining out. Not necessarily because she’s Amber. More because she’s female and that look in her eyes is pure terror.
“What is it?”
Her eyes slide to mine, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s still holding her phone, and for whatever reason, I can’t resist looking at it.
There’s a text message on the screen. We have to talk, Amber. You seem to forget that I call the shots. You don’t get to make the rules. You can run, but you can’t hide. It’s time we sit down and you hear me out. I’ve made you listen before, but you seem to forget that. I’m not willing to let you walk away from me.
I set the phone down. “What the fuck is going on, Amber?”
She shakes her head, but her hands are trembling. “Nothing. It’s just … my ex-husband. He’s…”
“An asshole?” Something tells me it’s much more than that.
“Yeah.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“
You’re shaking. Tell me what the hell is going on. I’m not letting you leave until you do.”
“I can’t,” she whispers. “I can’t talk about it.”
“Does he do this often? Make idle threats like that?”
She shakes her head. “They’re not idle threats.”
“Why’d you divorce him?” I think I know why, but I need Amber to tell me.
“He … uh… He wasn’t very nice.”
I wait patiently for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t, so I fill in the gaps. “He beat you.” I can see it in her eyes. This man terrifies her.
“He did. But he’s in Florida. He can’t control me here.”
I’m not sure if she’s saying the words to convince me or herself that it’s true. I think she realizes he can do whatever the hell he wants to do, and if he’s really persistent, he will.
“Amber…” I wait until she looks at me. “If he shows up at your house or at the arena, you need to call me. Or Mark. Or your dad. Someone. Don’t let him in your house. I’m serious.”
She nods. “I will. I promise.”
“Do you have a restraining order?”
“Not in Texas, I don’t.”
Probably wouldn’t matter. If the asshole wants to get to her, he will. And based on that text, he sounds pretty damn determined.
I pick up her phone and program my number into it. “I’m serious. If he shows up, call me. Okay?”
Another nod.
But I notice she doesn’t try to convince me that he won’t show up.
Which means this girl is in some serious trouble.
After leaving the bar, I find myself pulling into Noelle’s apartment complex before I realize what I’m doing. I doubt she’s here. She works late when Ellie goes to the games, but I don’t care. Sitting here, staring at her window sounds like more fun than going home by myself.
I don’t mind waiting. I have to see Noelle tonight.
Have to.
Two hours later, there’s a tap on my window.
I open my eyes and peer out into the night. Noelle is standing beside my truck, a frown on her face.
Kaufman: The Season (Austin Arrows Book 2) Page 14
