by Lisa Edward
Thinking of Cole with our baby brought a tear to my eye. He was wonderful with Noah, and instinctively knew what to do. He would make an awesome dad.
I wrapped my arm around Kelli’s shoulders as we continued watching Cole. “I know he joked about it when you asked him to be Godfather, but he was really honoured and touched that you thought of him.”
“Well, look at him,” she said, indicating to Cole as he held Noah up to his shoulder and cooed away in his ear. “Who else could I trust to take care of him, should anything happen to me? The two of you are the perfect choice. You would treat him and love him as if he were your own.” She looked around. “And you wouldn’t hesitate to give him the world on a platter.”
Jason too had brought champagne, and popped the cork, sending bubbles cascading over the side and onto the bench. He poured several glasses as Marcus handed them out. He passed one to me. I took it apprehensively before looking over at Cole and shrugging.
He frowned and shook his head. We both knew alcohol wasn’t good for the baby but I was going to have to pretend until we told them our news. Placing the glass down, I poured myself some water, opting for that instead.
“Not drinking tonight, Tars?” Kelli asked with a cocked eyebrow. “Anything you’d like to tell me?”
I laughed. “What do you think I might have to tell you?” We knew each other so well; she could read me like a book.
“Well,” she tapped her finger on her chin comically, “you’ve been off-colour for weeks. You’re tired, a bit cranky.”
I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Yes, a bit cranky. You’ve put on a little bit of weight, and you’re not drinking.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I wondered if my slight weight gain really was that noticeable.
“So, when are you due?” She beamed at me before throwing her arms around me excitedly.
Cole must have witnessed Kelli’s behaviour. He came over, still bouncing Noah.
“I thought we were waiting,” he said quietly.
“I guessed,” Kelli chirped, before hugging Cole carefully.
Linc and Jay finally arrived, bringing several entrees with them, and yet more champagne.
Now that everyone was here, Cole decided it was as good a time as any. He gathered everyone around before hugging me into his side. There was a buzz of expectation in the room, but it wasn’t the announcement they all thought they would be hearing.
“So, we’ve asked you all over tonight because you’re our closest group of friends, and we have some exciting news that we would like to share.”
Nicole was bouncing around. “I knew it,” she said loudly, nudging Marcus in the ribs. “I bet they’re engaged.”
“We’re not engaged,” I added, “but the news is just as exciting, and we are really happy to share.” I looked at Cole. He looked like he was about to burst. “I’m pregnant,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.
Cole placed his hand protectively over my stomach. “We’re having a baby. I’m going to be a dad.”
The way he said it instantly made me emotional. It was as if it were the best news he’d ever heard. Turning to face him, I cupped his face in my hands.
“You’re going to be the best dad ever.” Kissing his lips softly, I felt nothing but love and hope radiating from him. He would be a wonderful dad. I just hoped, right down to the bottom of my soul, that the baby was his.
“And this is one baby you won’t need to take a paternity test for,” Jay teased as he came over, arms extended for a hug.
“I forgot about that,” Marcus said. “Have you heard any more from her? She must have had the baby by now.”
“No.” Cole shook his head. “I followed the chain of collection that was required by the courts and it’s registered, so if and when she wants to check it, she can. In fact, anyone can if they want. I don’t care—ours is the only baby I’m interested in.”
There was hugging and congratulations as each one of our beautiful friends joined in our happiness. From the corner of my eye, I could see Nicole. She was standing in front of the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall, flipping back the pages to count the weeks. She looked over at me, calling me over with the crook of her finger.
“Is now a good time to tell you I’m really worried about the timing of this?” she whispered.
Nodding, I studied the dates too. “I know, Nic, but seeing as you’re the only one who knows …” I looked at her pointedly. “… and it’s going to stay that way, it will never be a good time to talk about the timing.”
Her eyes shot over towards Cole. “Are you going to do a test or anything? I mean, don’t you want to know … for sure?”
The truth was, I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to even entertain the idea that the life growing inside me could be Riley’s, because that thought was just too devastating. It would destroy Cole to find out that it wasn’t his, and it would break my heart to lose Cole, and have to raise the baby on my own.
And I would raise the baby on my own.
If Riley found out, I knew he would want to support his child. He was the type of guy who would always do the right thing, but I didn’t want to be with Riley—I couldn’t be with Riley. My heart would always belong to Cole.
Smiling as reassuringly as possible, I looked pleadingly at Nicole. “The baby’s Cole’s, Nic.” Tears stung my eyes and she nodded, pulling me into a hug.
“Okay, Tars, the baby’s Cole’s.” She rubbed my back. “We’ll go with that, and I won’t say another word about it.”
Drying my eyes, I looked back over at Cole. He was laughing and smiling from ear to ear, so happy to finally be sharing this amazing news.
“Look at him,” I said to Nicole. “How could it not be his?”
AT THE following Monday meeting, the conversation went straight to my pregnancy, as expected. There were so many questions, but the main one was what to do about the show, seeing as I wouldn’t be able to, nor would I want to, perform in slinky lingerie for much longer.
“We need to find a singer to replace you,” Nicole stated.
“No one can replace Tara,” Cole corrected, “but we can find someone to fill in for a while.”
“What about you?” I asked her. “You have a great voice. I’ve heard you sing, you’re really good.”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable singing in front of people every night. In the shower, fine. In the car, no problem. Not in my undies on stage.”
I laughed. “Okay, so does anyone know anyone who can sing and dance, and who would want to join the show?”
“Why do you need to leave the show?” Jay asked.
“Ah …” I rubbed my tummy. “I don’t think anyone would want to see a pregnant woman dancing in her underwear.” I was already noticing changes to my body every day, my toned, slim frame, expanding as it prepared for the baby to develop.
“I don’t know. I think you look great,” Cole chimed in, looking at me lovingly. “Very sexy.”
“What I mean is,” Jay continued, totally ignoring Cole’s comment, “you could still sing. Just because you won’t be able to dance anymore doesn’t mean we can’t tweak the show so you can, I don’t know, sit on a stool with us, and sing while the girls dance.”
Beaming, I leaned over and hugged him. “Brilliant idea. I’d love to still be a part of it if I can.” Looking at the faces around the table, they all seemed to be on board. “We’ll have to take it to a vote, and ask the girls what they think, too.”
Cole chuckled. “Babe, that’s the beauty of being the boss. Your decision is final.”
As we wound up the gravel driveway that led to Pops’ home, the Tudor manor came into view, and my jaw dropped open. Cole, on the other hand, was having trouble holding it together as tears filled his eyes. It had been a happy house for Cole when he was growing up, a place filled with love, home-baked cookies, and plenty of music.
We sat in the car, looking at the imposing mansion before us for what felt
like half an hour.
“Should we go in, babe?” I asked quietly, placing my hand on Cole’s knee.
He exhaled deeply before nodding his head and climbing out of the car.
Walking through the door, I could feel the warmth instantly. It felt like a home, and although no one had lived there for a while and the furniture was covered over with dust cloths, it still carried Pops’ presence.
Wanting to give Cole some space to immerse himself in his memories, I held back and watched as he pulled dust cloths off the furniture in the front living room. Everything looked expensive, but it also looked well used, with frayed edges on the settee and worn patches in the carpet.
Cole ran his hand along the marble mantle that sat above the grand open fireplace. Silver picture frames were turned face down, and as his hand moved along he sat them up, taking a moment to look at each one lovingly.
Not able to see them clearly from where I was standing in the doorway, I came closer, moving as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Cole’s stroll down memory lane.
The first photo I came to was black-and-white, and was of a little boy with a mass of messy hair and shining eyes. He was smiling, his big cheeky Michaels’ smile, albeit without his two front teeth. From the clothes he was dressed in, I guessed it was Victor, and not Cole. Then there was a very dashing young Pops with a woman I assumed was Granny. I loved Granny instantly—she had the kindest face I’d ever seen, and her smile was infectious.
Moving along the mantel, the next photo was Victor and Lucinda on their wedding day. This one made me stop to pick it up, as it surprised me to see how glowing Lucinda appeared to be as she gazed lovingly up at Victor. It was nothing like the Lucinda I’d met a few times, and it made me wonder if Victor’s affair and Cole’s birth had taken more of a toll on her than I’d realised. One thing was certain. As I looked at her face in the photo, so full of excitement for what the future held for the newlyweds, I knew she was deeply in love with Victor.
Cole was still holding the last photo as I reached him, staring through the picture to the memory behind it. It was of Cole. In the photo he looked to be around seven or eight. He also looked remarkably like the little boy in the first picture I saw, with one startling difference—the eyes. Cole’s eyes weren’t shining, as Victor’s were, they looked empty and sad. As I stood, looking at the little boy whose smile didn’t reach his eyes, a tear dropped onto the glass. It wasn’t from me—the tear was Cole’s, and he wiped it away quickly with his thumb before turning to look at me.
“Fuck, I was so miserable,” he croaked before wiping his hand over his face to clear the tears. “I never realised you could see it. I thought I hid it from everyone.”
“Your dad must have known there was something going on,” I stated. “If this is how you looked all the time, he would have seen how unhappy you were.”
He nodded. “Yeah, it makes me wonder if he knew what was going on all along, and just chose to turn a blind eye.”
Taking my hand, Cole led me through the rest of the house, every room holding special memories that he shared, some with laughter, others with tears.
When we reached a set of stairs that were tucked around the back of the kitchen, he squeezed my hand.
“Check this out,” he said, as we descended the narrow staircase.
When we reached a door down a short corridor, I noticed a red light, and smiled. Pops had his own recording studio.
“I wasn’t allowed in here until I was much older,” Cole told me as he flicked on the lights. “But, when I was older, I used to spend hours down here while Pops played and recorded different tracks.” He ran his fingers across the huge state-of-the-art soundboard. “I met some amazing musicians down here, really big names who just used to come over to jam with Pops.”
“I thought Pops was a classical pianist?” I queried, surprised other artists came to jam.
“He was known for playing classical, but he loved jazz and blues. He could play anything.”
In all the biographies I’d read about Victor Michaels the pianist, there had never been any mention of anything other than classical being played.
“So all the history books are missing a big chunk of Pops’ life?”
Cole laughed. “Yep, just the way he wanted it. I bet there are recordings here that you would be amazed to hear.”
We spent a good hour looking through every room, with Cole telling me little anecdotes as we went. It was a magnificent house, but I had no idea what Cole planned to do with it.
“What do you think?” he asked as we were leaving. “Do you think you could live here?”
So that was what he was thinking.
“Ah, maybe one day. It’s a gorgeous house. I don’t know, do you want to live here?”
He smiled. “I love where we live now, but is it kid-friendly?” He shrugged. “We don’t have to decide right now, but I’d like to fix it up, modernise it a bit, and maybe when the baby is bigger and running around …” He indicated to the space. “It has a huge garden, a pool, and a tennis court.”
“Not to mention a recording studio, if The Sons decide to get really serious and want to put down some demos.”
The more I thought about it on the way home, the more I warmed to the idea. We could really make it our home, and it would be a great place to raise a family. But there was an annoying little voice in the back of my mind telling me not to get ahead of myself. First, I had to have the thirteen-week ultrasound next week to ensure everything was okay with the baby. Then, I just had to pray that the baby had green eyes, and that Michaels’ smile.
I placed my hand on my rounded belly. There still wasn’t a pronounced baby bump, but I could tell that everything was filling out.
“We need a nickname for bubs,” Cole commented with a grin, looking over at my hand as it stroked my stomach. “It kind of looks like a bean, doesn’t it?”
I laughed. “According to the books, I guess it does.”
“How about Sprout?” He beamed at me.
“Okay, Sprout it is.”
I THOUGHT I knew what to expect from the ultrasound. I had gone with Kelli a couple of times when she was carrying Noah, and yet being the one who was pregnant was a whole different experience.
Cole had insisted on coming with me. In fact, it wasn’t even discussed. When I told him I had my first scan booked in for two o’clock in the afternoon, he had cleared his schedule and at one-thirty had grabbed his keys and wallet, ready to accompany me.
As we sat in the waiting room, I noticed that not a lot of partners were there, and I squeezed Cole’s hand, thankful that he had come. He grinned at me, the distraction only briefly stopping his leg from jiggling up and down nervously.
“Relax,” I whispered, placing my hand on his knee to still it.
He laughed, then started jiggling the other leg that was out of my reach. “I can’t, too excited.”
I heard a snigger beside me, and turned to see a woman watching Cole with an amused expression.
“First one?” she asked.
“Yes, first baby.”
She indicated to the two children playing with building blocks on the floor in the corner. “Just wait until it’s your third. He won’t be so interested.”
I laughed along with her, but deep down I knew she was wrong. Cole would be just as excited if it was our tenth child, because the bottom line was Cole wanted to be a part of this. In some ways, he was more excited than I was at the prospect of becoming a parent. It was a chance for him to have a family of his own, to spoil his child, and lavish so much love and attention on the baby to somehow make up for what he had missed.
It was finally our turn, and we were shown into the little room and told to lie down. As I tried to relax, and scan the information covering each wall, Cole paced the floor like a caged lion. When the technician came in Cole was right there, holding my hand and watching his every move.
“Relax,” I told him again, beaming at his enthusiasm.
He
grinned back. “This is as relaxed as I’m going to get.”
The technician went through the standard questions, making notes of my answers, before squeezing the cold gel on my stomach.
And there it was.
Hardly distinguishable to the novice eye, but as he moved the implement around to find various limbs and organs, it all became clear. We had a baby.
I heard Cole exhale loudly, and I tore my gaze away from the screen to look at his face. His hands were steepled over his mouth as his eyes took in every detail on the screen.
“That’s our baby,” he said quietly, as if to himself. Looking down at me, his eyes glazed over as he took my hand and raised it to his lips, repeatedly kissing my knuckles. So many emotions crossed over Cole’s face as his eyes went from the screen then back to me. But I knew, at that very moment, that Cole was in this one hundred per cent, and would love this baby, and protect it with his life if need be.
“If you listen carefully, you can hear the heartbeat,” the technician told us.
As we both became dead still and quiet, a distinct second heartbeat could be heard, racing faster than mine.
“Should it be that fast?” Cole asked, concern etched on his face.
The technician smiled. “Yes, that’s perfectly normal. Everything looks and sounds fine. You have a very healthy little baby.”
He left the room, leaving Cole and I alone.
“Oh my God, did you see him? I swear he waved at us,” Cole joked, wiping his eyes with his thumb.
“What makes you think it’s a boy?” I queried, eyebrows raised.
“Didn’t you see the size of his penis?” He gave me a wink. “Takes after his dad.”
I laughed out loud. “I’m pretty sure that was an arm you were looking at. I don’t think they can tell if it’s a boy or girl just yet.”
He shrugged. “It’ll be a boy. All the Michaels babies are boys. There hasn’t been a girl in, like, forever.”
I couldn’t put off telling my parents any longer, and the good thing was, my mother loved Cole so much, that she would hopefully turn a blind eye to the fact that we weren’t married.
My next problem, however, was trying to find clothes that fit me. While Cole was dressing in the bedroom, I must have pulled out and tried on nearly every outfit in our expansive wardrobe. It was no use. Everything was either too tight or could hardly contain my massive boobs.
